Vox Momenti: The Ballad of Don and LOCO
By Vox Momenti | 03 May, 2026

Donald Trump is kinda like John Lennon—John wanted peace, Don wants the Peace Prize, John had Yoko, Don has LOCO.

Blew into the White House for a second term

Did it with a LOCO boost

Lock out Coloreds and Orientals is our creed

Man, the Dems put up a dreadful fight!

[Chorus]

Christ, you know it ain't subtle

You know how hard it can be

The way things are going

They're gonna crucify me!

[Verse 2]

Fired half the government on day one

Elon's got his chainsaw revving loud

DOGE boys cutting everything that moves

Man, the civil servants hit the street!

[Verse 3]

ICE men kicking down the doors at dawn

Loading up the buses, heading south

Families torn apart in parking lots

Man, the lawyers couldn't move that fast!

[Chorus]

Christ, you know it ain't subtle

You know how hard it can be

The way things are going

They're gonna crucify me!

[Verse 4]

Told the universities: do what we say

Froze their funding, froze them in their tracks

Harvard said "No deal" and took us all to court

Man, the faculty were spitting mad!

[Verse 5]

Slapped a tariff on the whole wide world

Ninety days, a hundred-and-forty-five

Markets went to hell on a Tuesday morn

Man, the stock exchange just couldn't cope!

[Chorus]

Christ, you know it ain't subtle

You know how hard it can be

The way things are going

They're gonna crucify me!

[Verse 6]

Said he'd buy up Greenland, take the Canal

Make Canada the fifty-first great state

Sent the warships lurking, sent the threats by post

Man, the neighbors weren't amused at all!

[Verse 7]

When the Epstein files were getting warm

Bombed the Houthis, bombed them just in time

Every headline buried under fire and smoke

Man, the timing was a work of art!

[Verse 8]

Lit up Isfahan on a Friday night

Bunker busters, forty bombers deep

Mullahs shut the Strait of Hormuz down

Man, the tankers had nowhere to go!

Petrol hitting six bucks at the pump

Lines around the block in every town

Dow Jones in a spiral, gold shot through the roof

Man, the working stiffs just couldn't breathe!

[Chorus]

Christ, you know it ain't subtle

You know how hard it can be

The way things are going

They're gonna crucify me!

[Verse 9]

Texted all his war plans to the press

"Wrong number, Jeff" — Goldberg got the scoop

Running Yemen airstrikes from a group chat thread

Man, the Pentagon was mortified!

[Verse 10]

Told Zelensky: "You're not being nice"

Pulled the intelligence, pulled the arms

Sucked up to the Kremlin, called up Vlad for chats

Man, the NATO allies lost their minds!

[Chorus]

Christ, you know it ain't subtle

You know how hard it can be

The way things are going

They're gonna crucify me!

[Verse 11]

Judges saying "No" from coast to coast

Fired the ones he couldn't stand to keep

Said the Constitution's just a point of view

Man, the legal scholars hit the roof!

[Verse 12]

Elon's numbers cratered, Tesla burning down

DOGE boys stumbling, tripping on their feet

Twenty trillion promised, billions hard to find

Man, the X posts were a sorry sight!

[Chorus]

Christ, you know it ain't subtle

You know how hard it can be

The way things are going

They're gonna crucify me!

[Verse 13]

Every night a rally, every night a show

Waving fists and pointing at the crowd

"They are eating dogs!" and "Lock them all away!"

Man, the base just couldn't get enough!

[Verse 14]

So here we are two years into the ride

Chaos reigns from Mar-a-Lago south

Don and LOCO riding off into the sun

Man, the history books won't know where to start!

[Final Chorus]

Christ, you know it ain't subtle

You know how hard it can be

The way things are going

They're gonna crucify me!

[Outro — spoken, deadpan, no reverb]

"They're saying it's the greatest presidency ever. Tremendous. Nobody's ever seen anything like it. Believe me."