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GOLDSEA |
ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
Are AA Women the Real Victims of Prejudice?
sian women get a free ride at the expense of Asian men. That's the received wisdom here in the U.S. This belief appears premised on the suspicion that American society sees Asian women as sexy exotics in need of rescuing from the cold clutches of Asian men who don't know how to smile except evilly.
The real victim?
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Credit Hollywood for its tireless casting of Asian women as sexual accessories to white heroes while suppressing the very existence of Asian men except as unsavory paper tigers. Credit too the TV networks that uncover bevies of talking Asian women but rarely their male counterparts.
In fairness this media fantasy of the Asian race was partly inspired by recent history. Devastated and impoverished Asian nations sent tens of thousands of war brides and orphans, followed by several million desperate immigrants willing to hock their identities while toiling to build new lives.
Male-dominated societies toast new women as exotic sexual prospects while suppressing new men as an exploitable lower class or even enemy aliens. The women get all the breaks and the men get all the lumps. Even worse, the women have their heads turned and adopt a scornful attitude toward their own men. So goes the complaint of some AA men.
The women have a different take. Sexual predators bearing insulting stereotypes must be fended off while coping with women who see them as unfair competitors. Add to that the pain of being scorned as sellouts by AA men for no more reason than their apparent welcome by American society. Worst of all, complain AA women, is being begrudged the right to take simple pleasure in their own identities. How much easier just to face straightforward racial prejudice!
Do Asian women really have an easier time in America? Or do they suffer from the double-whammy of insulting stereotypes from non-Asians and unfair persecution from Asian men?
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 06:10:44 PM)
Size 2 wf,
Interesting observations. Where do you live/work out? I live in LA, the fitness/image obssessed capital of the country, along with Miami. I go to a gym everyday, and of course there are attractive people. I meet eyes with many women, and the most receptive ones are white women.
On a related note, when I work out, I need all my concentration. So I don't talk much. Most WMs who are serious aout working out tend not to talk much either. We're busy catching our breaths or maintaining focus between sets. The out of shape dudes or the beginners are the talkers, in my opinion. These white dudes get busy chatting up women who generally are cordial but do not pass out their phone numbers. I mean, I am there to work out, so I assume that the women are too. So it's probably the fact that WMs tend to socialize more during their workout time that it appears that WMs are always talking to AFs and other women. And as for the AFs with WM husbands, that doesnt really apply. The other day, I did see an AM/WF couple, and they were probably in their 30s, looked like professionals (not in the best shape, but not out of shape... typical of ppl who are buried in a heavy workload). They seemed to be slightly self-concious of their being an IR couple (esp. an Am/WF) and always had their eyes fixed to the ground. I wish they would hold their heads up high... I was secretly happy for them!
Asian Meathead (j/k)
Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 00:45:27 (PDT)
Asian Dominatrix,
I choose not to date AF. As I've mentioned prior, non-AF are less of a headache.
I used to be open to the idea until I went off to school. When I saw what AF were really like, it turned me off.
Can't say I've been burned since I've never asked one out before, left alone dated one.
huu76
Tuesday, July 09, 2002 at 22:53:08 (PDT)
Northwest Girl,
No one is saying that none of the other "isms" don't exist. Yes, ageism is unfortunately around, as is sexism, as is everything else. And as long as this nation purports to support "equal rights," we Asians need to make sure that we get our end of the bargain, too, in a land of so-called "equal opportunity." Cos shutting your eyes is not going to make anti-Asian discrimination go away either. And it's certainly not going to make you WHITE either--even if you're married to one.
As for your comment that
"while you can't always control others' behavior towards you, you can conrol your reaction to it," I say what errant BS: this passiveness is PRECISELY that which has rendered Asian Americans, if not Asians ALL OVER THE WORLD, into a convenient puniching bag for hypocritical WHITE America and the Western world at large.
American economy down? Blame the nasty, sneaky "Japs." Oh yeah, and beat up a Chinese man like Vincent Chin while you're at it. Time for humor? Hey, crack a joke about "chinks" like Sarah Silverman did last year or sell a few anti-Asian T-shirts like Abercrappy and Filch. Time for intrigue? Just go round up Asian donations to political parties or find someone like Wen Ho Lee to pick on. And so what if Asian students face higher admission standards and Asian professionals face glass ceilings? Just work harder, "After all, you Asians are so hard-working." This is the crap that we Asians have had to put up with.
Yeah, like you I believe in learning to "go out and get what they want rather than think reasons why they can't." But it is very possible for one to work well AND acknowledge that white America still has serious problems with race.
Again, I'm going to recommend Frank Wu's "Yellow," Deborah Woo's "Glass Ceilings and Asian Americans," and Mari Matsuda's "Where is your body?" (BTW, like you, Mari Matsuda, I believe, is married to a white but fortunately she's not as white-washed.) Someone else here has also recommended the writings of Ronald Takaki.
Historian,
I liked these details on German habits in time of peace:
"Whenever they are not fighting, they pass much of their time in the chase, and still more in idleness, giving themselves up to sleep and to feasting, the bravest and the most warlike doing nothing, and surrendering the management of the household...to the women, the old men, and all the weakest members of the family."
Today, it's women and "coloured" people.
"They themselves lie buried in sloth, a strange combination in their nature that the same men should be so fond of idleness, so averse to peace."
No wonder some whites are unsympathetic to hard-working Asians! Unless, of course, we're doing the grunt work for them while they have their 10-martini lunch.
LOL, the best part is how their subterranean caves were piled with dung for the purpose of keeping themselves warm in the winter. And that "to pass an entire day and night in drinking disgraces no one." Ah, the benefits of doodoo and daiquiris. Makes one feel real cozy.
Actually, things haven't changed much today, have they? Sounds like a typical dumbass double-digit-IQ-white-boy frat party to me. Like Alpha Beta Crappa. And these are the morons who go on to become executives. No wonder we've got Enron, Worldcon, and other incompetent, do-nothing, yet superbly pretentious poops.
Asian Dominatrix
Tuesday, July 09, 2002 at 19:37:55 (PDT)
Size 2 WF:
I, too, agree w/Huu76 and from the number of people on this site (look at the other links here, not just this page), it's obviously a major issue in the Asian American culture. Not sure what the phenomenon is but hey, that makes more Asian men for us, right??!! They can chase all the white men they want, we certainly don't have an issue taking the Asian men!! hahaha They ARE FINE!!!!! :-)
CaliGirl
Tuesday, July 09, 2002 at 18:20:33 (PDT)
"Why do you hate AM/non-AF couples so much? I know you have a right to your opinion, but what's the big deal? They're not hurting you. If you're an AF are you jealous that non-AFs are dating Asian men? Or if you're a man, do you think that it's somehow just wrong for Asian men to date outside their race?"
If he is Asian he is racist and if he is a white he is hypocrite.
Asian
Tuesday, July 09, 2002 at 11:09:36 (PDT)
"Yes, there is racism against Asian people, but other people also suffer from racism, sexism, ageism and any other "-ism" there is."
I do not deny it.
"While I consider myself to have an open mind, my parents still think all black people are dirty and stupid and primitive and that disabled people are useless."
There are many people who think that way. I bet your parents would change their minds if they became disabled in a motor car accident. I have seen many people change their minds once they themselves cannot walk anymore. No, I am not wishing this on anybody.
"For years, they thought all white people were trashy welfare recipients who allowed their children to roam the streets."
Actually there are more white trashy people on welfare than many whites are willing to admit. There are tons of them down in Southern Virginia who depend on handouts from successful immigrants and professionals from Northern Virginia...and guess what they call us immigrants and blacks trashy while we feed them.
"Unfortunately, my parents show their ignorance every day in the way they treat others."
They are well assimilated into the US Society.
"If you don't like the area you live in because of racism, fight or leave."
In Arlington VA, we attracted more immigrants and blacks and made whites a minority like the rest of us. When there is no majority, racism declines.
"My two young kids are mixed (Chinese-Caucasian) and they look it. As much as I would like to shield them from the ugliness of the world, I know they will experience racism at some time in their lives, probably from both Asians as well as Caucasians."
From what you say, your parents as well.
Novasian
Tuesday, July 09, 2002 at 11:06:19 (PDT)
"About the AFs with their WM "trophy" partner: have you considered that maybe the media only wants to focus on those couples--apart from WM/WF couples, of course--because the white-male-run media feels threatened by non-white males?"
Have you watched the elim date show lately? Or have you watched any Dating Show in the past twenty years? Back in the Mid 1980s, Dating Game and Love Connection and for that matter Studs only accepted application from whites and blacks...of course modifications were allowed...white looking South Asians were matched up with whites and the darker ones with blacks. In 1984 or 1985, I watched two sisters in the show...the dark one was matched with blacks and the light one with whites. Among the Asians the darker ones were generally selected and matched with blacks. This sort of began to change in the mid 1990s and now we have Asian women competing with white women for a white male in Elim Date. You rarely see the other way around. And invariably the white women would say to the effect that the Asian woman would be eliminated because she (the Asian) is a slut and a whore...I have at least watched three shows lately where this was the case...in one case the Asian was selected and the white woman who lost out was beside herself with fury..for him getting a "mail-order" bride..."we white women own the white men" syndrome and how dare does an Asian woman invade our territory.
"If you want to blame anyone, you should be blaming the MEDIA. Remember, too, that the VAST MAJORITY of AFs date and end up marrying AMs."
Actually they do. And for those AMs who do not get an American AW, I suggest that they find a bride in the old continent if they really want an AW. May be they can contribute to the browning of America.
Sociologist
Tuesday, July 09, 2002 at 10:58:26 (PDT)
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