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ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
Are AA Women the Real Victims of Prejudice?
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 06:11:05 PM)
sian women get a free ride at the expense of Asian men. That's the received wisdom here in the U.S. This belief appears premised on the suspicion that American society sees Asian women as sexy exotics in need of rescuing from the cold clutches of Asian men who don't know how to smile except evilly.
The real victim?
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Credit Hollywood for its tireless casting of Asian women as sexual accessories to white heroes while suppressing the very existence of Asian men except as unsavory paper tigers. Credit too the TV networks that uncover bevies of talking Asian women but rarely their male counterparts.
In fairness this media fantasy of the Asian race was partly inspired by recent history. Devastated and impoverished Asian nations sent tens of thousands of war brides and orphans, followed by several million desperate immigrants willing to hock their identities while toiling to build new lives.
Male-dominated societies toast new women as exotic sexual prospects while suppressing new men as an exploitable lower class or even enemy aliens. The women get all the breaks and the men get all the lumps. Even worse, the women have their heads turned and adopt a scornful attitude toward their own men. So goes the complaint of some AA men.
The women have a different take. Sexual predators bearing insulting stereotypes must be fended off while coping with women who see them as unfair competitors. Add to that the pain of being scorned as sellouts by AA men for no more reason than their apparent welcome by American society. Worst of all, complain AA women, is being begrudged the right to take simple pleasure in their own identities. How much easier just to face straightforward racial prejudice!
Do Asian women really have an easier time in America? Or do they suffer from the double-whammy of insulting stereotypes from non-Asians and unfair persecution from Asian men?
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
Hann,
You wrongly assume that it's all peaches and cream for AFs. As an AF, I've also been told to "go back to (my) country". And this was from White guys.
Hate sees no difference.
This is what we AFs have to deal with everday of our lives:
Non-Asian guys pigeon holing us into one of two categories: we're either bookworms, or sexpots.
Non-Asian women pegging us into one of two categories: we're either nerdy pushovers, or sexpots out to take their men.
An AM's struggle against racism and stereotype doesn't veer far from an AF's.
there r greener pastures:
My girlfriends and I here in L.A. have never felt that AM's had to "prove" their "worthiness". If you don't know already, Asian Pride is rampant on the West Coast. :)
Kara
Saturday, January 11, 2003 at 08:39:24 (PST)
[64.130.204.9]
Ride-ah,
you said it man. i live in SW houston, right next to sugarland. my sis's friend told her even now, from the time when he was still attending clemets high school(located in sugarland) back in the days(he's around 21 now), there have always been tension between asian and whites. its not big big tension but there're fights here and there. most attacks are targeted at the asian male. i'm not sayin there aren't good people in sugarland, becasue there are. its just that asian females are more accepted then AM.
my friends and i have been a target back in our high school days. it was a saturday night, we were leavin first colony mall, about to walk through the field to the movie theater, when 2 white males who were way larger then us, drove by us real fast as one of them screamed out "go back to your country!" we were pissed, but what can we do? those punks sped off. but, thats just one of our experience.
ride-ah, reading your post made me wonder would they have said that to us if my friends and i were females?
if only you asian females could spend a day in our shoes. you would be shocked.
Mr. Hann
Friday, January 10, 2003 at 00:48:29 (PST)
[24.242.251.65]
"Reality, I AGREE. I am sick of trying to prove to the world and AFs that I am worthy."
Ride-ah, it is such a ridiculous shame that an AM should have to prove himself worthy to an AF and convince her that he's just as good as a WM. Anyway, would you really want to be with a girl that thought that you had to prove yourself to her as an AM, that you were good enough for her? AMs- don't waste your time on girls like this. There are plenty of WFs and other non-AFs that are very interested in AMs. Plenty of WFs find AMs attractive, sexy, smart and fun, so next time you meet a nice, good looking non-AF; GO FOR IT! You deserve the best for yourselves. You deserve someone that appreciates you for you.
there r greener pastures
Sunday, January 05, 2003 at 19:23:10 (PST)
[67.242.223.22]
Alicia Tang-Johnson,
I just have a very honest question for you. I am not trying pick a bone with you or anyone.
I can tell by your hyphenated name that you're married to a white or black man.
Do you honestly believe that if an Asian man married to a white woman lived in that Texas community where you're from, that they would be as warmly accepted as you have been?
I am skeptical. This is your chance to convince me otherwise.
I personally find it annoying when an AF with a WM preaches to others how open and accepting white people are with minorities when basically they are merely being tolerated.
Sure, some petty WFs might give you s*** for marrying a WM, especially if they find him attractive. But basically that is all you really have to put up with. At least you don't have to get crap from males of the dominant population (who hold the real power, and thus have the power to do the most damage), and have white women run from you/fear you, or clutch their kids or purses when you walk by.
I really think that many AFs (and to a degree some Hispanic and black women) are totally blind when it comes to the different treatment people get when they integrate into a white environment. Two factors affect this:
1. Your Race.
If you are Asian or Hispanic, you will more likely be better accepted into a white family/community than a black person would, regardless whether you are a woman or a man. That is a fact, as a whole. There are exceptions, but they are NOT a majority. Those who believe so are fucking nutters and in full denial, I'm sorry.
2. Your Gender.
If you are a female, then you can more easily be integrated into a system where another group of men already assert control. This has always been the case througout human history. Men have conquered and taken the wives and daughters of the Conquered as their concubines. If an Asian male, or even worse a BLACK male were to try to enter a community of whites, then integration would not be as smooth. It might still happen, but the road to it will not be as smooth.
This fact also has to do with that males are physically more powerful. Asian men are more of a threat to a white community (to the men in the sense of sexual competition, to the women in a physical sense) than an Asian woman will ever be. That is a fact of biology, of life itself -- there's no point in disputing that.
I think its rubbish when some Asian or other minority women believe outright that their acceptance into an all-white community was based only on their personal merit, and not on other factors, such as those mentioned above.
As long as they recognize and accept this, I am okay with whomever they sleep, live, or marry with. Just don't kid yourselves. No one should stop you from making your own decisions, but don't insult other peoples' intelligence.
Ride-ah'
Saturday, January 04, 2003 at 22:01:51 (PST)
[172.169.164.144]
"Unknowingly or not, signicant numbers of AF play into the Hollywood depiction. If their preference is to "settle" for that despicable image, SO BE IT.
I also applaud those AF who refuse to accept being trivialized by the white man and embrace their true beauty of AF."
- reality
Reality, I AGREE. I am sick of trying to prove to the world and AFs that I am worthy. It's really upto us to not care and live the best lives we can. If that means living with non-AFs, then that is a path that I will take, without hesitation (unlike before). I will leave whomever tries to bring me down eating dirt as a burn them.
Nobody said that life was perfect. It's time for us to move on (aaaaugh! I sound like huu76 -- I honeslty don't hate AFs like he does), but if there are wonderful AFs that want to "take a ride with me" on my life's journey, I can always make room for one in my shiny Mustang. Well, that is, if she has the sense to hop in the passenger seat before some non-AF does. ;)
Ride-ah'
Saturday, January 04, 2003 at 21:44:52 (PST)
[172.169.164.144]
What's wrong, huu? It took you a whole week to reply to me.
I read your post, I know your tactics. Typical like you, to obscure your replies with nonsense, and taking the high-road, when you had no road or reputation to begin with. You think by withholding your insults and taking the high road, you'll gain my favor.
You were never worth rebuking, only insulting.
Like that time when we met on the Asian male image forum. I pointed out your stupidity, when you labeled all AFs as greedy and materialistic, because you once saw an AF riding in a luxury car, and then a non-AF riding in a normal car. By your standards, is it fair for anyone to label all AMs as pathetic, lifeless losers because of one pathetic, lifeless AM -> you.
I'm finished with you on this forum (good job Ed), but we'll meet again somewhere else.
B. Lee
Monday, December 23, 2002 at 18:43:04 (PST)
[66.44.64.191]
B.Lee,
Read my post again.
A good number of white women is still less than every white man. Concentrate on rebuking me rather than trying to insult me.
You guys that disagree w/ me have a bad habit of carrying baggage over from other forums.
huu76
Sunday, December 22, 2002 at 23:54:20 (PST)
[65.95.195.80]
[You have nothing left to say on this forum. --Ed]
Unknowingly or not, signicant numbers of AF play into the Hollywood depiction. If their preference is to "settle" for that despicable image, SO BE IT.
I also applaud those AF who refuse to accept being trivialized by the white man and embrace their true beauty of AF.
reality
Tuesday, December 17, 2002 at 11:45:45 (PST)
[199.106.16.3]
"Many asians are only deluding themselves by moving into rich white suburban enclaves. No matter how rich or successful an asian may be in America, he/she is only fooling themself if they think they will be welcome with open arms into white suburban communities. There aint no such thing as a model minority.
painful truth"
This is an excellent eye opener for those Asians who swear they have 'arrived' only to have the door slammed in their face. Or given lame excuses as to why they weren't invited to this function or that party. It's natural for people to want to be amongst their own for maximum comfort levels and not having to be so politically correct 24/7. Don't be so heartbroken. It may also give you a chance to get among your own kind (gasp).
We won't bite you either and it won't kill you to date some of us for perhaps once in your life. Leave the Whites alone. They will call you when they're ready for you. Until then why not chill with us? A lot of us are really nice people.
The Truth
Monday, December 16, 2002 at 19:13:44 (PST)
[152.163.189.132]
Very Upset AF,
If I were you, I'd kick the living daylights out of that dog, or maybe shot it with a BB gun. Or just break a glass from their house or scratch their car late at night. How are they gonna find out? plus they owe you 500 bucks. See, all of this is karma; "you get what you give". And that guy sure needs to get his payback, go for it girl
ck
Monday, December 16, 2002 at 17:16:19 (PST)
[196.40.43.218]
Very Upset,
I hear you. Yeah, I can see where you are coming from. My girlfriend gets hit on at work all the time by black and white co-workers.
My sister is totally grossed out by people with Asian fetishes.
Oh well, what can you do?
wl
Monday, December 16, 2002 at 09:00:10 (PST)
[64.152.162.208]
Very Upset AF:
If you had lived in Sugar Land, Texas, you would have had a much nicer time. There are Asian Americans who live in all the major masterplanned communities there and at all levels of the high schools--we're 20% of the population of Ft Bend County you know. Most of the White folks there show us respect and I can guarantee you that if what you described happened in First Colony, New Territory or Greatwood, that dog owner would have his sorry behind kicked out of the community.
Alicia Tang-Johnson
Monday, December 16, 2002 at 06:45:04 (PST)
[161.159.4.21]
"AF are only seen as competitors when it comes to relationships, otherwise, they aren't given much negative attention by whites."
More mindless rambling from huu to show he knows nothing about women. Huu, there are a good number of white women who see AFs as competitors for grades in school and jobs in the working world.
B. Lee
Sunday, December 15, 2002 at 22:41:56 (PST)
[207.172.11.148]
There you go, upset AF, that's a reality check for you. Haven't you heard about white flight? That's happening all over California, next time you see or hear about when whites move out of California, don't buy their excuses of them looking for a slower way of life. They just want to be amongst themselves, even the so called white liberals!
Many asians are only deluding themselves by moving into rich white suburban enclaves. No matter how rich or successful an asian may be in America, he/she is only fooling themself if they think they will be welcome with open arms into white suburban communities. There aint no such thing as a model minority.
painful truth
Saturday, December 14, 2002 at 22:23:16 (PST)
[12.233.247.164]
Very upset,
This is off topic but...
I have to disagree with you. AF only has it tough if she chooses not to sell out her culture and herself.
AM are seen as competitors irregardless of what we do and who we associate with. AF are only seen as competitors when it comes to relationships, otherwise, they aren't given much negative attention by whites.
AF have the option of playing to societies so-called "ideals" if they want it easy, AM don't have that option. Everything we get is earned.
Sorry if I stepped on your toes.
huu76
Saturday, December 14, 2002 at 08:16:01 (PST)
[207.164.88.163]
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