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ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
IS THE AA GENDER DIVIDE REAL?
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:38:55 AM)
sian American women are abandoning AA men by the millions. Young AA women seek out any race of men but their own. Women like Amy Tan write books and make movies that dump on AA men and glorify Asian women in relationships with white men.
That's the perception of many AA men.
On what do they blame this state of affairs? Brainwashing by media that play up white men while cutting Asian men off at the knees. Desire for payback by AA women who feel slighted by their families and Asian society. Large numbers of non-Asian men with blind fetishes for Asian women. Some even acknowledge that Asian men are often too fixed in their ideas of how a woman should look and behave, causing many AF to feel devalued.
Other Asian Americans see AF outmarriage rates as merely a natural state of affairs for a 4% minority population that includes many recent immigrants. The outmarriage gender gap will narrow as growing Asian population centers provide ready access to bigger pools of singles. Besides outmarriage isn't the same as rejecting one's racial identity, they argue. Many AF who outmarry retain strong identification with their Asian identity.
Is there really an Asian American gender divide? Is so, what's behind it? If not, what's behind the perception?
This interactive article is closed to new input.
Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
Banana Girl;"I agree with you on the IR issue. Race does play a role because physical appearance is the first thing we see. It's neither a bad or good thing necessarily...just the truth."
How very true Banana girl, appearance is the first thing that is noticed. It's funny how so many folks don't realize this simple truth.
"While being PC may work at times, I'd much prefer that people be real."
This I find very difficult to navigate at times. I sometimes find that I happen to stare at White females on occasion especially blondes. I wonder where this fascination came from. Do I really like them or have I been conditioned by this society? It seems that the more I see AM/WF pairings, the better and more handsome a couple they appear to be. As highly aware and politicized as I think I am, I just don't understand. Please help me, I'm falling.
I can't get up
Monday, September 02, 2002 at 07:59:04 (PDT)
[152.163.189.198]
P.O. and Geoff,
Whether there is a good AF out there or not, I don't think they're for me. I'd have a hard time trusting them. Like I said a while back, my first few years at school pretty much turned me off from them.
By the way, I'm not here to whine that I can't get an AF. I've honestly never tried.
huu76
Sunday, September 01, 2002 at 23:30:07 (PDT)
[207.164.88.163]
G-Dog
This is my opinion. I have mentioned so many times here that I really h8 AM/WF couples. You claim that AM/WF couples are good looking? I don't. I am a frustrated AM, and I have a problem with that. I have the right to feel this way.
dsfbcbsijbdax
Sunday, September 01, 2002 at 14:31:44 (PDT)
[148.4.22.148]
To: Ronbo (Bay Area/SF)
I’m in the Bay Area as well, and until recently, I have to agree with your assessment. However, the abundance of Asian men/white women couples are popping up left and right. I try to be conscious about it, and when I am, there are days I actually see more of these than the other way around. I think I’ve noticed this in the past year, and it’s definitely more predominant in the twenty-something crowd.
And when an Asian woman says to you “You know I’ve never dated an AM but I would date you…” or something like that, sincerely thank her. She’s just given you the reason to reject her and save your time and future heartache.
I, too, know of a white man who gets rejected white women and has only dated Asian women. But while he dates his Asian women, he dreams about being with a white woman. The Asian women he’s with are the same ones you described. Our loss? Nah. Would you want to be with that kind of a woman anyway? There are much higher quality women to be with – Asian and non-Asian – than that. Again, just be glad that you’re not stuck with one of those.
I know many readers here will disagree, but I believe most Asian women don’t hate Asian men. It’s simply that the ones you described are more vocal through words and action. But that whole attitude is becoming passé anyway.
Repost
Sunday, September 01, 2002 at 05:17:58 (PDT)
[66.92.1.200]
To: Hank Lewis
Interesting point you brought up. Would a white woman, with all else being equal to your wife, have been able to woo you away in the early days of your courting?
Repost
Sunday, September 01, 2002 at 05:17:47 (PDT)
[66.92.1.200]
amy tan is a b*tch, enough said. Plenty of White girls leaves white boys and go for Asian guys. Asian guys and White girls are very good looking couples together.
G-DOG
Gdoggy@yahoo.com
Saturday, August 31, 2002 at 03:03:13 (PDT)
[63.212.141.219]
Thanks for the reply, huu.
Without a doubt Asian women, generally, prefer their Asian men.
Most, I'd say, who marry outside their race are probably treated well. I'm sure that guys make insensitive remarks and stuff from time to time, but that's typical male behavior.
Sounds like you need to visit Houston, San Francisco, Oakland, San Jose, Los Angeles or Seattle. You'll have better luck in California.
Geoff DB
GeoffDB02@aol.com
Friday, August 30, 2002 at 22:55:25 (PDT)
[172.193.253.90]
...there cultural reasons why so many asian women prefer white and black men...
I dont think there are many AFs who prefer to date black men. They would run away from blk men like they are plague.
FOP
Friday, August 30, 2002 at 18:40:55 (PDT)
[24.93.48.161]
Hysteria,
you wrote
"Out of those less than 2 % married either Hispanic men or black men."
Keep in mind I live in the san francisco bay area. Asian population in my area is higher than in most parts of the country. If we were talking about nebraska, iowa, kentucky or massachussets, you would have a point. I'm not impressed with the figures you quoted cause it's not comparable to bay area realities.
Political Observer
Friday, August 30, 2002 at 12:02:30 (PDT)
[167.230.38.7]
WF Dating AM, read NotConfusedAsianDude's August 26 post.
NotConfusedAsianDude, I agree with you on the IR issue. Race does play a role because physical appearance is the first thing we see. It's neither a bad or good thing necessarily...just the truth.
While being PC may work at times, I'd much prefer that people be real.
Banana Girl
Friday, August 30, 2002 at 10:47:36 (PDT)
[208.48.177.3]
huu 76,
man, you deserve a fine looking AF who will take care of you and show you the respect you deserve. It'll happen, just wait and see.
If an AF doesn't want you cause of your race, then that's not the right woman for you anyway.
Cheer up, good things come to those who wait.
Political Observer
Friday, August 30, 2002 at 10:13:38 (PDT)
[167.230.38.7]
Ronbo,
you wrote
"but to be honest with you, a lot of these WM’s (while being my friend) were a bit dorky and I have to believe that their attraction to AF’s had a lot to do with the belief that they would have better success with an AF vs. a WF."
I'm telling you man, that's definitely the case here in SF. To look at some of these mismatched couples you'd think the AF has just won an all expense paid trip to florida or something.
It is absolutely appalling for an AF to totally disregard AM. I would not want to spend time with an AF who has neither dated nor has any interest at all in AM. The reason is she obviously has no self respect or respect for her race. How anyone can disregard someone of their own race is beyond me.
Political Observer
Friday, August 30, 2002 at 10:11:19 (PDT)
[167.230.38.7]
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