|
|
|
|
|
GOLDSEA |
ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
IS THE AA GENDER DIVIDE REAL?
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:38:55 AM)
sian American women are abandoning AA men by the millions. Young AA women seek out any race of men but their own. Women like Amy Tan write books and make movies that dump on AA men and glorify Asian women in relationships with white men.
That's the perception of many AA men.
On what do they blame this state of affairs? Brainwashing by media that play up white men while cutting Asian men off at the knees. Desire for payback by AA women who feel slighted by their families and Asian society. Large numbers of non-Asian men with blind fetishes for Asian women. Some even acknowledge that Asian men are often too fixed in their ideas of how a woman should look and behave, causing many AF to feel devalued.
Other Asian Americans see AF outmarriage rates as merely a natural state of affairs for a 4% minority population that includes many recent immigrants. The outmarriage gender gap will narrow as growing Asian population centers provide ready access to bigger pools of singles. Besides outmarriage isn't the same as rejecting one's racial identity, they argue. Many AF who outmarry retain strong identification with their Asian identity.
Is there really an Asian American gender divide? Is so, what's behind it? If not, what's behind the perception?
This interactive article is closed to new input.
Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
CONTACT US
|
ADVERTISING INFO
© 1996-2013 Asian Media Group Inc
No part of the contents of this site may be reproduced without prior written permission.
|
|
|
|
WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
Deng Ai,
The reason I question those statistics on AF IR and AM IR is because 25% of all asian do not participate in the census of any form. So any results based on the census is somewhat off.
Now couple with the fact that we still live in a male dominent society. I will assume for argument sake the guy is going to fill out the form. If its and asian guy upto 25% of the time the census end up in the trash. If it is a non-Asian guy chances are good it will be filled out.
Hence, all IR based on census results are biased for AF IR.
I'm not intimidated by numbers and their manipulations, nor the underlying theory behind their use.
AC Dropout
Wednesday, September 04, 2002 at 10:08:43 (PDT)
[24.90.98.143]
huu76,
"By the way, I'm not here to whine that I can't get an AF. I've honestly never tried."
So the divide from your point of view is mythical. If every AM has this view, than of course their are a few AF who participate in IR due to the lack of suitors.
AC Dropout
Wednesday, September 04, 2002 at 10:03:38 (PDT)
[24.90.98.143]
NotConfusedAsianDude,
you wrote
"They have so much dislike for AM's, deservedly or not, that you'll to spend an eternity proving your virtues to her."
The other asian guy poster is right. It's not going to do you any good wasting time trying to convince women like that to like you. There are better catches out there. Life is too short to try to figure everyone out.
Political Observer
Wednesday, September 04, 2002 at 09:12:07 (PDT)
[167.230.38.7]
Hank Lewis,
"My point is that if a typical Asian woman actually has the choice between two suitors (whose attentions she wants and to whom she is attracted) who are equal in terms of income, education, attractiveness, sensitivity, common interests with her, etc., she is MORE LIKELY (not 100% probability, more like 80% probability) to choose the Asian man, ALL ELSE BEING EQUAL."
If one is an Asian, there is more than one thing that's different from a Caucasian ... just because of the fact that one of them is Asian will have cultural differences and can't have "ALL ELSE BEING EQUAL." ... I think what you are saying is an impossibility ...
NotConfusedAsianDude,
I saw a couple(BM/AF) when I was going to a school to learn Chinese ... had a kid too :-)
cantreallyrelate
Wednesday, September 04, 2002 at 01:24:29 (PDT)
[66.53.72.142]
dsfbcbsijbdax,
Are you screwed up or something? Why would you hate the AM/WF combination? Are the type who would be extremely friendly to Whites and really mean to Asians, say if they were customers and you were waiting on them? That's really a screwed view. Do you think that Asians should worship Whites? Are you a believer Asians should kowtow to Whites? Is that it? You're worse than the sellout AF's these guys discuss on this board, if that is the case. You really should explain yourself more. I'm kind of confused.
I'm an AM and I've dated all kinds of women. I think White girls have treated me the best, and AAs girls have appreciated me the least. Look, I'm really good with the girls. I'm the type of guy most guys wish they could be like. I must say that this board is very interesting. Because from my experiences, the non-Asian girls have always felt lucky to be with me; they tried to show this in many ways. The Asian girls on the other hand just felt like I'm the lucky one to be with them. They actually seem surprised that I would dump them for a non-Asian girl. :) That pretty much sums up the entire discussion. Such is reality unfortunately. One must simply do what's best for oneself. I don't see how the AM can even survive in the dating arena, by focusing only on AF's anymore. Honestly.
NYC AM
Tuesday, September 03, 2002 at 22:45:00 (PDT)
[24.90.169.63]
I HONESTLY believe that a large number of white men choose to date Asian women because they cannot get white women. I believe this b/c I am a very handsome Asian man who has the balls to try IR dating. Are WM that date AF all losers? Probably not. I have actually seen some hot AFs with handsome WMs, and I can't hate them for that - they were born that way. More power to them. However, as an Asian 'golden-boy' (I've NEVER been awkward around women of any race. I've always been popular with the ladies), I found that hitting on and picking up white women was much harder than doing the same to equally hot AFs. My 'game' is built around humor and wit (as well as looks and style, of course), and Asian women pretty laugh at any stupid thing you say, even if it isn't particularly funny. With white women, I REALLY have to turn on the charm. I've seen the saddest looking white guys with a bunch of lame jokes and pickup lines that get giggles from Asian girls. Also, I use different approaches with white nad Asian girls, as they (generally speaking) tend to have differnt preferences. White girls usually eat up the cocky and hyper confident approach. Asian girls prefer the gentleman/sappy prettyboy thing. They want handsome hunky men, but they also gotta be boyish and kind of have an innocent feel to them. So I tailor my approach to these diff preferences. Chalk it upto cultural standards. Personally speaking, I think that picking up an Asian girl is at least twice as easy as picking up a white girl. I think that's why (among other reasons like media, racism, internalized racism, etc.) white guys have historically had more success with Asian women than Asian men with white women.
Handsome Playboy
Tuesday, September 03, 2002 at 21:52:24 (PDT)
[128.253.186.46]
A little field trip report from Austin, TX.
My Argentine girlfriend and I hanged around in the Warehouse District in Austin almost every weekend for the last 4 weeks. We noticed there were more AM/WF or AM/Non-AF couples than WM/AF couples. The AM/WF couples tend to be young and college crowds and look hip and sharp. I suppose the hi tech industry and UT Austin provide a favorable environment for AM/WF dating. I also noticed that WF in Austin are better looking. They make WM think twice before giving up dating WF. That's probably why there were fewer WM/AF couples.
FOP
Tuesday, September 03, 2002 at 21:07:53 (PDT)
[24.93.48.161]
Get a grip, curious girl.
So, dsfbcbsijbdax doesn't agree with the whole WF/AM concept.
It seems he has a more homogenous view of relationships, that's all.
He's not spewing racist ideas or said anything about your own personal relationship, so just chill.
No need to get in a bind
Tuesday, September 03, 2002 at 20:48:20 (PDT)
[64.130.204.9]
Deng Ai,
Your question should be "Are THOSE AFs worth that effort?"
You will find many more AFs who do not fall under that category.
You must be an ugly Asian guy that Asian girls run away from....and non-Asians might turn to since they don't know what's considered good looking within the Asian population.
Look in the mirror, fool
Tuesday, September 03, 2002 at 19:16:32 (PDT)
[64.130.204.9]
Curious girl,
I won't have a problem with WM/AF couples at all. It's only the opposite.
That's all.
dsfbcbsijbdax
Tuesday, September 03, 2002 at 16:42:53 (PDT)
[148.4.22.148]
Hank Lewis wrote:
"Hmm... I had to put this one on the backburner for a while, and came to the conclusion "it depends upon how early in our courtship." If it were before Julie & my third date, then she'd have been able to distract me. However, this rhetorical White woman would have to be Julie's equal in intelligence, education, personality, attractiveness, build and had glossy black hair like Julie."
Merely distract? According to your own theory, it should be a no brainer. Maybe your theory isn't so applicable to your own situation?
Deng Ai
Tuesday, September 03, 2002 at 14:36:29 (PDT)
[198.6.73.7]
Political Observer:
"The reason is she obviously has no self respect or respect for her race. How anyone can disregard someone of their own race is beyond me."
When an Asian woman tells me she has no interest in Asian men, usually I will ask why.
If the reasons are physical build, attitude, cultural or social upbringing, then I tend to listen and go on to another subject. On the other hand, if the reasons she stated were purely ethnic (all things Asian), then I would be bothered, too.
Geoff DB
GeoffDB02@aol.com
Tuesday, September 03, 2002 at 14:25:55 (PDT)
[172.193.80.163]
FOP:
"I dont think there are many AFs who prefer to date black men. They would run away from blk men like they are plague."
FOP, the Asians who behave that way are the same type whose attitude resemble yours. Of course, we both know you're in the majority in that respect. However, I do notice quite a number of Asian women who are attracted to black guys. I've dated a few myself.
If I were a white guy like Political Observer or Hank Lewis, I could be more objective about the issue, because Asian men tend to respect white males more than they do black males. As such, white guys who are open-minded to Asian guys don't have the same negative baggage that I have even though I am just as open-minded.
So, when an Asian woman tells me that she, generally, has no interest in Asian men due to their attitude and other reasons, naturally, I listen to her, unless of course she goes on a anti-Asian free-for-all against her entire race. Now, if I socialized with some cool Asian guy friends, then I'd be in a better position to say to her don't be so closed minded about dating guys of your own race.
The Asian women who are just curious about black guys and want to experiment, I say to them "WATCH OUT-BEWARE OF DOG". If you go after a ghetto thug/hip-hop type black guy to explore, you're definitely going to get more than what you bargained for. You'll get domestic violence, whole lot of bad attitude, inconsiderate behavior, some jail time, insensitive remarks directed against you and your diet will go down the drain.
Geoff DB
GeoffDB02@aol.com
Tuesday, September 03, 2002 at 14:15:59 (PDT)
[172.193.80.163]
NEWEST COMMENTS |
EARLIER COMMENTS
|