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ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
IS THE AA GENDER DIVIDE REAL?
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 06:05:28 PM)
sian American women are abandoning AA men by the millions. Young AA women seek out any race of men but their own. Women like Amy Tan write books and make movies that dump on AA men and glorify Asian women in relationships with white men.
That's the perception of many AA men.
On what do they blame this state of affairs? Brainwashing by media that play up white men while cutting Asian men off at the knees. Desire for payback by AA women who feel slighted by their families and Asian society. Large numbers of non-Asian men with blind fetishes for Asian women. Some even acknowledge that Asian men are often too fixed in their ideas of how a woman should look and behave, causing many AF to feel devalued.
Other Asian Americans see AF outmarriage rates as merely a natural state of affairs for a 4% minority population that includes many recent immigrants. The outmarriage gender gap will narrow as growing Asian population centers provide ready access to bigger pools of singles. Besides outmarriage isn't the same as rejecting one's racial identity, they argue. Many AF who outmarry retain strong identification with their Asian identity.
Is there really an Asian American gender divide? Is so, what's behind it? If not, what's behind the perception?
This interactive article is closed to new input.
Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
Repost:
>>Come on, give her a little more credit than that. Be a little more thoughtful. She spent hours defending you against virtually everyone here. It’s almost like having your girlfriend work all day to prepare a nine course dinner and all you can say is: "Uh… ok."<<
It's ok. I'm doing it because I wanted to, not because I'd have a need for him to have gratitude towards me or something like that. I'm doing it because I want to stand up for my prinicples. I'm happy that he at least agrees with me; that's sufficient enough.
B. Lee:
>>For the record, I never said that AF who date AM are closed minded.
Asian women are free to date only Asian men--I believe in a woman's right to choose--but I'm not sure if I would call that open minded.<< [Rob's statements]
If he wanted to say that Asian women who date Asian men are closed-minded, he would have said: "Asian women CHOOSE to date only Asian men--I believe in a woman's right to choose--but I'm not sure if I would call that open minded."
The statement "are free" implies that a third party is present here - someone/something who will decide the boundaries of or impose restrictions on someone else's freedom. It can be parents, society, or just a person's traditional culture. I think Rob's comment was criticising any of these factors, and not an individual's CHOICE of a marriage/dating partner.
what a unique discovery:
I thought maxdacat was Asian, but I don't really know that well, am I wrong maxdacat? What are you?
eastern-european girl
Monday, December 16, 2002 at 21:55:09 (PST)
[64.228.99.27]
To: huu76
Dude, what is your point? Except for “Asian women are pitiful” and blah blah blah, etc., etc., etc. I can’t seem to find anything else in your posts that holds a coherent thought. If you’re complaining about me using you as an example of Asian men who unfairly diss Asian women, well, stop dissing Asian women. It’s so much more word-efficient to write “men like huu76” as opposed to “Asian men who diss Asian women unfairly because of their hatred...” One mention of “men like huu76” and a clear picture is painted. I’m just borrowing your reputation.
Repost
Monday, December 16, 2002 at 20:37:48 (PST)
[66.92.1.200]
To: Bella
“Why is this? Because the media portrays WM/AF couples as normal?”
After reading that article written by an Asian woman, I’m not so sure if the media portrayal of Asian women is really all that normal. There is always that layer of froth on top who are shallow enough to buy into any representation of Asian woman-hood. But the bulk of Asian women are capable of a lot deeper thought and understanding than what the media would like to portray.
Take for example Ling Woo. Is she the representation of the cross-section of Asian women? I’m sure men like huu76 will want you to believe that. Do you really think the cross-section of Asian women who watches Ally McBeal is going to say “hmm... I should be a sexual predator like Lucy Liu, and sexually entrap white men, just for sex”? Sure, some shallow ones will, but as with all ethnicities, there’s that layer of froth on top.
Repost
Monday, December 16, 2002 at 20:37:05 (PST)
[66.92.1.200]
To: Rob
“Your insults are typical of many people who are against men like me (i.e. white) who date women like Lisa (i.e. Asian).”
No, Rob. We weren’t writing anything against white men who date Asian women. We were writing to you – Rob. Don’t you feel special? Do you see white men like Hank, who is also with an Asian woman, getting lavished with all the attention that you do? Do you ever question why Hank doesn't but you do? What’s wrong with the picture here? Maybe you? Perhaps you can ask and learn from Hank.
“You don't know me, nor do you know Lisa, so I'm baffled as to why you would say something so nasty.”
There was no nasty intent. It was simply a logical deduction. You wrote that you wouldn’t call Asian women who date only Asian men open-minded. Are you still baffled?
“Whether you like it or not, we love each other, and it has nothing to do with me getting between her legs.”
As I’ve written to you before, I’m glad your girlfriend is with you and not one of my Asian brothers. Otherwise, it would be a tragedy for the unlucky Asian brother of mine who could have been stuck with her. So please, do the otherwise unfortunate Asian brother of mine a favor and stay with her. We will be eternally grateful.
“You shouldn't resort to this kind of viciousness, especially since you are older and should know better.”
Again, there was no vicious intent. It was simply a logical deduction based on what you have written. I am happy for you that your girlfriend is open-minded to you.
Repost
Monday, December 16, 2002 at 20:36:19 (PST)
[66.92.1.200]
Rob
Yes, most Asia American studies classes are liberal, however most asian american adults i know are usually more conservative.
Horn
Monday, December 16, 2002 at 19:27:03 (PST)
[65.188.193.77]
Rob,
First of all; it's quite clear that the story about you and Lisa is BS. Second; there's nothing wrong with IR's, it's just lame when the only reason is to sell out.
ck
Monday, December 16, 2002 at 17:29:18 (PST)
[196.40.43.218]
"We're all one race of humans. We're all in this together. Let us celebrate our similarities over our differences, especially in this Christmas season.
One race? but your gf chose you out of your caucasian racial background.
FOP
Monday, December 16, 2002 at 13:41:30 (PST)
[65.147.88.19]
Rob,
Before you leave, I only want to make one comment - I fail to recognize a correlation between being open-minded and choosing a mate primarily based on race\color. There is nothing wrong with WM/AF relationships, but if the race factor outweighs others by far, you need to question your gf's motive.
I am writing an essay on this type ethnocentric interracial relationship. Hopefully I can change people's perception.
FOP
Monday, December 16, 2002 at 13:16:39 (PST)
[65.147.88.19]
"Why deny the role that culture plays?
I think it's because these people need a means to justify their own relationships."
Why do "these people" (those in IRs) need to justify their relationships in any way? Are they not normal or real like same-race relationships?
I don't have to justify anything to anyone.
"We are in agreement here. IR couples consisting of Asian men with white women experience very harsh prejudice. I’ve been in IR before, so I had my share of negativity against Asian men who are with white women."
Why is this? Because the media portrays WM/AF couples as normal?
Bella
Monday, December 16, 2002 at 07:17:50 (PST)
[207.183.117.61]
Dear All:
I'm basically finished posting on this board. I came here to have some interesting dialogue, but basically all I've received is nothing but insults and accusations. To the chagrin, I'm sure, of the racists, Lisa and I will be happy together, and we might even have some beautiful hapa children together. I wish you all the best of luck, and I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas. Peace and good will to all.
Rob
Monday, December 16, 2002 at 00:02:20 (PST)
[32.100.71.113]
Repost:
You wrote:
"The real definition for his term "open-minded" is whether the woman will "open her legs" for him. If not, she is closed minded (a.k.a. legs closed to him)."
Your insults are typical of many people who are against men like me (i.e. white) who date women like Lisa (i.e. Asian). You don't know me, nor do you know Lisa, so I'm baffled as to why you would say something so nasty. Whether you like it or not, we love each other, and it has nothing to do with me getting between her legs. You shouldn't resort to this kind of viciousness, especially since you are older and should know better.
B. Lee:
You wrote: "Rob, you are really busted here. Fact is Asian Americans tend to be conservative over liberal."
I think you should take an Asian American studies class. Most AA advocacy groups are liberal, not conservative. OCA, JACL, and 80-20 (though they claim to be independent, they support liberals like Al Gore) all support affirmative action. They are all staffed by liberal Democrats.
Rob
Monday, December 16, 2002 at 00:01:40 (PST)
[32.100.71.113]
. I might pity them less, but that's about it-Huu 76
Ironically, you are the one who should be pitied...
face the truth, buddy!
Sunday, December 15, 2002 at 21:47:17 (PST)
[203.162.23.70]
Compared to other racial minorities, Latinas have just as high if not slightly higher rate of marrying white men compared to Asian women. There is no gender divide issues amongst Latinos because it is countered by the fact that a lot of Latino men also marry white women.
What we need to see more is minority-minority dating and marriage. In the past, you probably seen more AM with Latina women than you do with WFs. Now, it seems that all AMs want is WFs.
Are the Asian men with Latin women absent out there?
not just white women
Sunday, December 15, 2002 at 18:31:05 (PST)
[64.130.235.33]
huu76,
Actually, posters here pity you for your one dimensional thinking.
Al
Sunday, December 15, 2002 at 18:28:01 (PST)
[64.130.204.9]
To all:
I don't see any of the posts taking about Hindu women. Aren't they considered Asian? To me, they are not.
dsfbcbsijbdax
Sunday, December 15, 2002 at 17:11:08 (PST)
[24.90.37.100]
huu 76:
again, you can't come up w/ a better response can you? no i don't make negative assumptions about you. What a weak response. haha i imagine you wait for a while for me to buzz of so you can reply w/o me going back to bite you again hahaha .HUh you lost the courage so you must wait several weeks for thins to cool down to come back? What a weakling. you must be disappointed and i'm still here and strike back LOL
Sorry, my disgust will never die
huu? say it again, can u? so hate even women who have nothing to do w/ you, the new born baby who happen to be of asian ancestry(ewhich certainly would make you a sell out)?. Your mind is full of hatred. what can i say more? some people are so weak-minded theey waste a lot of precious time hating other ppl. one can only shake heads and not be able to do anything about it. *sigh* so much for the weak-minded ppl.
the truth is you come back to this board
cos you don't wanna lose face in this board. face it, if there is a real battle here, the loser is already you. as much as your disgust for AF never dies, everyobe on this board will always look down upon you no matter how much you blabl about the topic. From now on, everything you say will lose validation so it doesn't matter if you stay on gender divide forum or go away...everyone have been exhausted w/ overrepeated stuff from you and everytime you open your mouth, no one will give a hoot about it.
get the facts straight
Sunday, December 15, 2002 at 14:51:29 (PST)
[61.11.245.7]
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