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GOLDSEA | ASIAMS.NET | ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES

IS THE AA GENDER DIVIDE REAL?
(Updated Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 06:05:25 PM)

sian American women are abandoning AA men by the millions. Young AA women seek out any race of men but their own. Women like Amy Tan write books and make movies that dump on AA men and glorify Asian women in relationships with white men.
     That's the perception of many AA men.
     On what do they blame this state of affairs? Brainwashing by media that play up white men while cutting Asian men off at the knees. Desire for payback by AA women who feel slighted by their families and Asian society. Large numbers of non-Asian men with blind fetishes for Asian women. Some even acknowledge that Asian men are often too fixed in their ideas of how a woman should look and behave, causing many AF to feel devalued.
     Other Asian Americans see AF outmarriage rates as merely a natural state of affairs for a 4% minority population that includes many recent immigrants. The outmarriage gender gap will narrow as growing Asian population centers provide ready access to bigger pools of singles. Besides outmarriage isn't the same as rejecting one's racial identity, they argue. Many AF who outmarry retain strong identification with their Asian identity.
     Is there really an Asian American gender divide? Is so, what's behind it? If not, what's behind the perception?

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WHAT YOU SAY

[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
Well Sharon, I for one understand how you feel. As a politicized, fully aware Asian brother, I'm often at odds with myself over this very same issue. I respect you for stepping forward with the balls to admit this on an Asian forum although the internet anonymity helps. As I reflect on the women in my life, none have smitten me as much as white women. I've been in relationships all different kinds of women; with Asian gals of all ethnicities,there were a couple of Latina babes, middle eastern, at least one African American babe, and Jewish gals. Initially, I either hit on them or sometimes they hit on me but whatever, it's all good. As long as we get together and enter into a relationship, we can move deeper into each other. I won't disrespect the Asian females(or any females) here because I enjoy their company also. But I will try to be honest about my views. Upbringing has had or should have had a strong effect on my choices for partners. That's probably the case with most people anyway. It seems as if white women have a strong allure about them. Since I'm currently on the prowl, I seem to be sweet on blondes also but not exclusively. But I wonder to myself if my preferences have been shaped and molded more than I realize. It also seems that I give off an aura to white women because I think that they can sense my attraction to them or whatever. What I like about them at this stage is that they make the game so delicious and exciting. They just really know how to play this mating dance and have the flirtation really down. Lately it seems that wherever I go; like to the mall or out to dinner, in the theater lobby, at the supermarket, it seems that there's always a white woman smiling at me or giving me the eye or being overly friendly. Intellectually speaking, I'm as aware of the racial/political issues as any activist. I keep telling myself that I need to settle down with a nice Asian gal; it makes good sense. But outwardly whenever I get that look from white females, it's so difficult to resist. Looking forward, I don't want to be one of those Asian guys, settled down but with white women on the side. I know of at least a couple of bro's whose marriages wound up on the rocks or in deep doodoo after they got busted.
My closest confederates confide that I should just go with my impulses as they also have a thing for white women and see no problem with it. As a matter of fact, they highly encouraged it. I've resolved not to fight myself any longer. I've been in relationships with white women before and two of them have been the most head over heels I've ever had. If they don't stop coming on to me, I'll cave sooner or later. They know they've got me. I feel so weak.
Asian To The Bone
   Monday, December 23, 2002 at 09:04:28 (PST)    [152.163.189.198]
Sharon, do you see an inconsistency with professing an attraction to WM because of their race on the one hand and then desiring to teaching your children that "color is not an issue" and how not to be "narrow minded and uniformed" on the other hand?

One might argue that by intentionally picking WM and rejecting AM you are making color an issue and perhaps acting in a "narrow minded" way.

Of course, your choice is your choice and its not anyones right to prevent you from doing otherwise. We are all free to be bigots.
Allenby
   Monday, December 23, 2002 at 07:35:31 (PST)    [132.200.32.32]
Repost:

When Janet Chang-Hawkins first started posting in the Asian Air Forum a couple of years ago, she was stating how she only found blonde-haired, blue eyed, athletic White men attractive and didn't find any Asian men attractive at all. She was also pushing a huge feminist uber-bitchy agenda and was reeking of Joy-Luck-Club-itis.

For a while there was a full scale post war involving her, myself, Kevin Yang, OJ Nguyen and Annapolis/Harvard Law graduate. She "left" the boards twice only to come back again and start more craziness. After she got married and had a son, she posted less frequently and seemed to mellow out.

A-Man:

Just to clarify to the other readers, SOME (not all) Transethnic relationships are based upon warped perceptions of the ethnic groups, power, fetishes, etc.
A lot of people in transethnic relationships want to play "color-blind", but that isn't realistic or practical. I don't want to escape my "Caucasianness" any more than Julie wants to escape her "Asianness." Having respect for eachother's differences as well as similarities is important in any relationship--transethenic or monoethnic. What makes such relationships interesting, sometimes fun, sometimes a challenge, is integrating those differences in a way that they can complement eachother.

Rob:

You're right in that you need to do some soul-searching. Dating three or four Asian woman doesn't make you or any other non-Asian man an authority on all things Asian. There are too many reasons why that is the case, but here is a laundry list for you:

-There are different cultures, languages and traditions among even Asians of the same nationality.

-Although there are commonalities among many Asian nationalities, there are variances which can be very subtle that a non-Asian wouldn't notice.

-Even individual Asians of the same sub-culture and nationality will be as different as siblings from the same family can be different in personality, likes and dislikes, etc.

-Often in dating relationships which have been going on less than a year, men and women put their best face forward and ignore some things due to the early glow of love. However, after a year or if you end up living with someone or marrying them, those "little things" can become huge and that's when the real test begins.

Before I met Julie, I had dated some Vietnamese, Chinese, Hong Kong, Taiwanese, Thai, Filipina, Corean and Japanese women. I also lived in Japan for five months teaching English based Mathematics to the children of diplomats and businessmen who'd spent much of their young lives in English-speaking nations before their families returned to Japan.

My best friend and next door neighbor growing up was ethnic Chinese who was born in Vietnam but his family relocated to the US after the war. His mom taught me to use chopsticks when I was only 8. Enoch and I grew up together and we're still eachothers' best friends to this day.

Even after going through all of these things, I do not presume to understand "all things Asian" because I don't. Maybe if I were to move to China, learn to speak Chinese like a Native, live in China for a decade, refrain from participating in American politics and immerse myself in Chinese culture I might have some room to talk, but even then I wouldn't dub myself an authority on all things Chinese because there'd probably be something else I didn't catch or didn't totally understand after all of that.

I have to be realistic--as much as I may have a pseudo-Asian mentality about a lot of things, I can't make myself Asian or even an Asian expert. That's just the way it is. It doesn't prevent me from loving my wife or integrating into some aspects of her culture, but it doesn't make me an expert on all things Asian either.

As for Julie, in brief she dated many attractive Asian American men who wanted to marry her, but she wasn't ready yet. I met her at the right time and had enough confidence to say "hello," strike up a conversation with her and ask her for her home phone number. It wasn't that she was easy--au contraire, she was a challenge and still can be sometimes. However, I wasn't scared to make the effort and I was rewarded.

Lastly, if you do marry Lisa and have child, it is important that you show them love, compassion, discipline and time. Having Julie's parents so close helps because we are raising our daughter bilingual. Doing likewise with your kids is so very important because knowing that ancestral language goes a good way towards instilling pride in their heritage. As for your "best of both worlds," that is often the ideal, but it doesn't always work that way. Every mixed person I know has had to work out their own identity over the course of their life, but those whose parents gave them their time, love and did their best to instill that pride were the ones who came out okay.
Hank Lewis
   Monday, December 23, 2002 at 06:56:22 (PST)    [161.159.4.21]
To: AC

“'spread legs to me = open minded'”

That’s exactly how I saw it as well.

“While dangling from a rope with a shaven hamster in her anus, she willing spread her legs to me regardless of my race = open minded”

Ok, I’ll let him call me closed-minded. I don’t do that kind of kink.
Repost
   Monday, December 23, 2002 at 02:58:32 (PST)    [66.92.1.200]
To: huu76

“How would you answer if a Russian guy you've never met before asked you that question, hmmm?”

Because “men like huu76”(tm) pissed them off? Did I get it right this time?
Repost
   Monday, December 23, 2002 at 02:58:02 (PST)    [66.92.1.200]
To: Allenby

Good questions. TK and I have been wondering about the same things. I’m sorry you’re not getting any responses for your questions. Rest assured that TK and I have been ignored with pleas for answers to similar questions just as you have been ignored.
Repost
   Monday, December 23, 2002 at 02:57:41 (PST)    [66.92.1.200]
To: A-Man

Well, I was expecting that you either:
1. justify your accusation where I have a problem with Rob’s girlfriend’s preference in white men, or
2. if you can’t do #1, then retract your accusation

Do you remember that I even gave you a broadened scope to quote me on – where did I ever write that I was against ANY Asian woman having a preference for white men?

Well, now that you mentioned it, yes, it was a challenge. You made a specific accusation of me. All I did was to ask you to justify your accusation. Was that too much to ask for, from even a man like you?
Repost
   Monday, December 23, 2002 at 02:56:50 (PST)    [66.92.1.200]
To: eastern-european girl

“I've said what I've said, it is correct”

Ok, now that’s a statement displaying reason.

” (Repost: "I don’t know why you are always expressing your frustration of what other writers have written – not what I’ve written – towards me, of all Asian men here." - Dec.10 at 00:32:09),
and WHERE did I ever post anything on this website that would suggest I have a need for AM to hate AW”

Did I get you into the “bluff calling” itch? If you’re want to call me on something I wrote, at least get what you want to call me on right. See below (ref:a).

“(Repost: "Or that I don’t spew garbage like telling my Asian brothers to desert Asian women for white women?" - Dec. 10 2002 at 00:32:09)
and you replied something totally unrelevant about how I write with caps and exclamation marks. You asked "Will you give me the courtesy by supporting your accusation, point-by-point?" (Dec. 10 at 00:32:09) and I did. Now, will you be kind enough to do the same?”

I just love these “I proved everything you said were wrong” claims of yours. Is this “bluff calling” filling your ego like air filling a balloon? Behold – here’s the pin popping your balloon. Your original claim was:

“I think you are taking Rob's words out of context, and then it's easy to make them suitable to how you want to interpret his post” (December 04, 2002 at 18:33:15 (PST))

against my claim against Rob of:

“She is Asian, and will only date white men. So you call her open-minded, right? But if she were to only date Asian men, then she is not open-minded, by your standards, right?” (December 04, 2002 at 05:40:34 (PST))

Now if he only just shut his mouth, then it’s just your word against mine. But no, he wrote:

“Asian women are free to date only Asian men--I believe in a woman's right to choose--but I'm not sure if I would call that open minded.” (December 04, 2002 at 23:28:31 (PST))

Did you forget this is how it all started? And then you chose to go on with the whole CLS linguistics issue, which you now say you are not interested in discussing anymore.

“Just because you're Asian and I'm White and European, that doesn't mean that you can just make up lies about me and then think: "Oh it’s okay, she's just a white girl, she doesn't need to have any proof against her if someone accuses her, who cares".”

Great, here we go again. Now you’re saying that I trivialize you and I think it’s justified because you’re a white woman. On one side I get Rob accusing me of treating white women better and on the other side you’re claiming that I treat white women worse. So is it my turn now to call you on your bluff? Maybe you can quote me anywhere that I said you’re just a white girl…who cares?

“please be kind to TELL ME where I ever discussed anything with you and expressed my frustration with you prior to December 4. That's what this discussion of ours started with, didn't it?”

(ref:a)December 4th? No. It wasn’t until December 10th that I wrote you’re taking out your frustration on me for what other writers have written. You even quoted what I wrote “I don’t know why you are always expressing your frustration of what other writers have written – not what I’ve written – towards me, of all Asian men here” as of December 10th. Again, if you’re going to call me on something, at least get what you want to call me on right. Are you ready?

2002-12-08: “The reason I think that many readers can't understand the way he feels is that they can't imagine a situation from a perspective that's different from their own.”

And you’re the excellent example of being able to imagine a situation from a perspective different than your own. Ok.

2002-12-08: “And so they say that the story was made up, in order that they wouldn't have to look at the real issue and evaluate it critically and objectively.”

And you’re the excellent example of being able to look at the real issue and evaluate it critically and objectively. Ok.

2002-12-08: “And I also have a feeling that many of the extremely over-critical people here can't imagine standing up for a person or an issue that's seemingly unrelated to them if they weren't in the end to get some kind of profit out ot it.”

And everyone who disagrees with you has a vested interest, and everyone who agrees with you doesn’t. Ok.

“And that's the last thing that I ask of you, ok? Let's leave sentences and linguistics out of this. Just tell me what I am asking.”

Do you realize that you lead and I follow? You wanted to talk about CLS, linguistics, implications – fine. I talk that with you. You want to call me on what I wrote – fine. I followed your lead. You call me “head in the sand” – fine. I gave you an example where I was wrong and I admitted it. Now you don’t want to talk linguistics – fine. We don’t have to talk linguistics. We can talk whatever you want to talk, and not talk whatever you don't want to talk.
Repost
   Monday, December 23, 2002 at 02:56:00 (PST)    [66.92.1.200]
Crappola, I forgot Paul and Steve Kariya.
My 2nd cousin uses our surname. So I can name 6 in total.

I can name a lot more the other way around.
It only gets worse when you start naming the ones who are dating.
huu76
   Sunday, December 22, 2002 at 23:59:03 (PST)    [65.95.195.80]
Since I'm sounding like a broken record, let me ask this question (which I haven't asked before).

Think of all the interracial kids/people/celebrities you can think of, now count all the ones with Asian surnames.

I can name 3 celebrities. Brandon Lee, Mr. Buff from Romeo Must Die, and the guys from Linkin Park. I know of no so called "normal" interracial kids with Asian surnames.

I rest my case. There is a divide and AFs are the cause of it.

I look forward to your replies.
huu76
   Sunday, December 22, 2002 at 23:26:08 (PST)    [65.95.195.80]
Sharon,

I hope you and others can see this amidst the firestorm of slams that you will no doubt receive.

All I have to say is that you claim that you're well-adjusted, but its plain that you're not.

You claim that other asians and asian men will never understand you. Well, the way I see it, you will never understand yourself because you're using something other than yourself to find peace. And when you feel that don't or cannot find what you need, you found a personal scapegoat in Asian men. That is just crap. You even stated that having a WM make you 'feel whole'. That's pretty indicative of your state of mental and spiritual health. No well-balanced person would need ANYTHING to feel whole, whether he or she is Asian, white or black. And that's a fact.

You feel a social and spiritual disconnect with people of your race, so you use white people (specifically men) to feel better about yourself.

I hope you don't think I'm preaching or lecturing because I was a misfit myself when growing up. I'm just calling you out on your self-absorbed, nihilistic bulls***.

In highschool I was a punk rocker with green hair and metal spikes on my wrists and neck. I had a Joan Jett wannabe for a girlfriend. I wore big Doc Martens combat boots. I didn't give a f*** about anyone or anything. And come to think of it, I had a few goth friends.

Asian kids at school in their Banana Republic oufits would snicker at me constantly. The punk and skater white kids liked me, but the popular or preppy ones were just as cruel as the more conventional Asian kids.

From reading your posts, I highly doubt that all types of white kids would accept you for what you are. Acceptance also works along social/class lines, not just racial ones. Please don't tell me that rich preppy white kids would love you to death, while rich preppy asian kids would not. That is bulls***, and an utter lie.

I've finally understood that most of the ostracism directed at me was an indirect result of my own actions, which in turn were born out of my insecurities. I still have that punk attitude (I always was a rebel) but I don't need to have green hair to prove it. TRYING to be punk isn't punk. Not giving a fuck about ANYTHING is.
Now, I've learned better social skills, and I have white friends and Asian friends. Maybe I've been able to make more friends becuase I don't have the drastic outward appearance that I used to. But I also know that I wasn't a real punk. A real punk lives on the street, because he doesn't care about family, about children, money, car, making a living. But I do. I grew up. Just as you grew up from your 'goth' phase. Real goths are supposed to be recluses. If you were a true goth, you would have had NO friends. They avoid daylight, sleep in coffins, and join cults. Riding to school in a yellow bus or in mommy's station wagon does not make you a goth. HS identities are just a cry for attention, whether you go for the Goth, Punk, Club-hoochie or any other look. They are superficial because they only emphasize outward appearance.

Anyway I think your post just totally showcased your personal insecurities. Get over it. Stop whining. And above all, don't blame your ineptitudes on asians or race. You were ostrcized because you had poor social skills and dressed weird. I HATE it when morons (male and female) with freaky hair, ripped up clothes and funky odor complain that people treat them poorly. I want to say to them: "No s***, you dumb motherf***er! You smell bad, dress like a homeless freak and have green hair!!" So I want you to drop that crap about Asians ostracising you for being a goth. The whole essense of "goth-ism" is being on the fringe of society. You brought it on yourself, so quit your bitching already. No one here wants to be your shrink.

If you really were so great, you would be able to be great friends with both white AND asians.

I don't have any comments on your dating preferences since that is your business, but please don't fucking blame your social retardedness and awkward past on Asians. As a former punk that happens to be Asian, it just makes me want to bust open a lower lip. Grrrrr !!!!!! Get a life, chica.
Asian Punker
   Sunday, December 22, 2002 at 23:17:20 (PST)    [172.153.30.40]
I am asian. But, I was born in russia, which is a european country. Where I lived there was 50% asians(my nationality) and 50% russians. Basicaly I been brainwashed with russian propaganda since my childhood. The TV showed only european faces. Magazines had european models. Everywhere I looked mostly I saw blonde, blue eyed russian girls. In my brain it was carved in stone that beautiful is to have a european type of face. When my family moved to USA all of my friends were russian or ukranian jews, mostly. We all spoke russian, and I felt that I, asian, belong amongst russians than amongst asians. I learned english, so I had more chance to meet asian women. But that ideology for white women was hard to break. I still thought that asian was ugly and white was beautiful. (Forgive me, for I was brainwashed since childhood).

Then I started to force myself to like asian because looking in the mirror that was what I saw. It was hard. Lust for white women was very hard to overcome. Then it happened, I met her... asian girl. She melted my heart, she was the beauty that I might never even had a chance to notice.

I want to say that overall standards that are set by hollywood and media, (propaganda) play a big role on our tastes. Even here in USA, I saw a tramendous ideology of blue eyed blondes. Just turn onto MTV, all you see are white looking faces... Backstreet boy, Britney Spears, etc. Flip on any channel, you will hardly see an asian face. May be, but hardly. But, I think it is slowly shifting as I see more asian faces in the movies. I welcome that development because I think that asian is beautiful.
Oleg
neo@endofdays.net    Sunday, December 22, 2002 at 22:53:18 (PST)    [68.81.19.109]
lies, lies, lies... the snowstorm of lies continues...

For those of you who are new to this board, read Rob's original post on Tuesday, November 26, 2002. Notice how he keeps building a list of discrepencies and fallacies, and he never answers a single refutation about the validity of his flaky stories.

Now, to pick apart his most recent posts.

you said on December 20:
"I have had three Asian girlfriends"

However, this is contradictory to what you said on December 17:

"My other two Asian girlfriends"

Busted again by your own lies.

you said:
"We [Rob and Annie] would be sitting in a restaurant, when her eyes would just leave me and start trailing another man who was walking by."

WTF?! You mean you were dating her, and Annie starts starting at other better-looking WMs than you. Don't you get jealous? I have never met any man brag about going on a date, and tell everyone that their date was starting at everyone else except you with lust. Rob, you have real problems if Annie stares at everyone else with interest except you.

you said:
"At the same time, she couldn't keep her eyes off of other white men."

Same BS you're saying before. In this context, you were dating Annie, and then you mention that Annie keeps her eyes on other WM. No level-minded guy would put up with his GF staring at other men, but Rob doesn't mind at all, and seems to like it. This is BS garabge.

And, finally, to recap "Rob is truly pathetic!" post.

Rob - December 05:
"You asked me if Lisa would prefer an ugly white man to an "attractive" (I put it in quotes because Lisa isn't attracted to AM--though other AF are) Asian man. You then asked if she would date a guy who looked like Newt Gingrich over Rick Yune. My answer is that she would wait for an attractive WM. "

"she just prefers WM, good looking WM"

Rob - November 29:
"She knows that she is beautiful, which is why some people get angry when they see a beautiful couple like us together "

Which contradicts what Rob wrote on December 20:

"I'd probably have to (in all honesty) lump myself with those ugly guys. "

"she doesn't place much emphasis on looks. Which makes me think I'm a very lucky guy. "

"Lisa sees through my lack of physical beauty"

Rob, it's been one full month you've been on this board. Your wasting everyone's time with your lies. You obviously have too much free time on your hands to be posting all these lies, and post more lies that lead to nowhere. You have way too much free time posting worthless garbage here; there's no way you have the time to spend with a real girlfriend.
B. Lee
   Sunday, December 22, 2002 at 21:06:44 (PST)    [208.58.197.194]
Huu:

Actually, a bitter and weakminded guy like you cheapens the AM image…Fortunately, I am happy you don’t represent AM as a whole.
Loser!(<-----Huu 76)
   Sunday, December 22, 2002 at 20:46:34 (PST)    [61.11.245.6]
Sharon,

Goths have their roots in medieval europe and I must admit its unusual for an asian to develop a cultish following for such a morbid cause. Rememeber that anything that doesn't conform (be it the fat kid, nerd at school) always get ridiculed wherever you go and i'm sure you'll experience it from white people too being the only asian among them. It seems to me that your preference for WM is based more on common interests in music and the Goth cause than race. What happens if there was a real cool asian guy into the Goth scene and have the same taste in music, would you consider him? Anyhow, good luck to you in your immersion of white culture.

Rob:
To quote you "My point is that not everyone is honest with their true feelings. It is my belief that Annie always preferred WM, but society forced her to keep her preference silent...blah..blah "

Yes sometimes people are in denial. Deep down I feel, Annie, Julie and Lisa (or Jane, Stephanie, Linda, Margaret, Kylie, Kim, Ingrid, Monica, Jennifer, Alison, Lucy, Karen, Charlotte, Caroline)couldn't quite cut the mustard with Asian Men so had to settle for leftovers.
Polyglot
   Sunday, December 22, 2002 at 16:32:20 (PST)    [203.29.131.4]
Rob,

I am an AM who have been involved in a few IR. I have been in relationships with Jewish, Italian, and Irish women in America.

I also own a few BMWs. One of them a late model BMW before globalization diluted the workmanship. Not to mention a degree in Neitzche philosophy from a prestigeous university in the USA with a majority of white people. So I know a thing or two about Germans.

I too am puzzled why "white" people consider me an "outsider." I am a tax paying American citizen. I am usually more knowledgeable about America than most people born in this country.

I even dated a girl of German-Irish stock in the mid west once. Her father was a KKK member...maybe not KKK but some white survialist group in the midwest. His daughter fell in love with me because she said no one had ever made her that way before. She thought is was some ancient asian bedroom secrets. But in all honesty it was the Joy of Sex, 3rd edition.

But I had to leave her. And last I heard she was with a Korean American who went to my highschool. Small world.

All WF who have dated me said they preferred AM for at least one of these qualities:

1) Good lovers
2) Body hair on all the right places
3) Intelligent and responsible

These women were all open minded people, who had had terrible experience dating white males. They would tell me stories about how they were left emotionally barren.
AC Dropout
   Sunday, December 22, 2002 at 15:14:34 (PST)    [24.136.115.189]
huu 76:

No my tag is not a self-portrait...It's waht i'm thinking about you. i'm not unaware of the marriage rate but im not a sad loser who pays too much attention to an issue yet pretends to not give a rat's ass about it. I have a life. Unlike you, I don't have to be bitter about it. So sad, very sad for you.

Again, you UTTERLY FAILED to adress my points by giving some untrue assumptions about me(due to your lack of self-defense)...all u can come up w/ now is ersatz arguments...I wil not argue w/ you anymore, huu 76. But I truthfully feel sorry for you, Brother!
Loser!(<-----Huu 76)
   Sunday, December 22, 2002 at 14:40:40 (PST)    [61.11.245.6]
Leave huu 76 alone!,

Why don't you date Huu76 and put him out of his misery then.

God knows the man needs to get out more. IR or otherwise.
AC Dropout
   Sunday, December 22, 2002 at 14:38:57 (PST)    [24.136.115.189]
Sharon,

When I was in highschool I hung around many asian club kids and goth kids. I called them BAT (Brigdes and Tunnels) because they lived outsided Mahatten and every night the complain about getting across the BAT.

But let's get a few things straight. You like WM, because you like WM. It has nothing to do with into Goth, Heavy Metal, Hip Hop, New Wave, Ska, or whatever obscure clique we got ourselves involved in as kids.

Let's look at this more closely and why some people are pointing to this blantant hypocracy when it comes to IR.

"color is not an issue and for them not to be narrow minded and uniformed."

- this is nice and liberal view to have

"but I won't be looking in their direction. Why? Because I am happy with WM"

- but here is underlining contradiction of personal preference. Every quality you listed are race specific blonde hair, blue eyes, etc.

How do you plan to teach your children to be colorblind, when you can't even get past your own color blindness.

Look if you were really into Goth. How the F*** would they even know your hair color. Most Goth kids dye their hair pitch black.
AC Dropout
   Sunday, December 22, 2002 at 14:34:14 (PST)    [24.136.115.189]
huu 76:

No my tag is not a self-portrait...It's waht i'm thinking about you. i'm not unaware of the marriage rate but im not a sad loser who pays too much attention to an issue yet pretends to not give a rat's ass about it. I have a life. Unlike you, I don't have to be bitter about it. So sad, very sad for you.

Agian, you UTTERLY FAILED to adress my points by giving some untrue assumptions about me...all u can come up w/ now is ersatz arguments...I wil not argue w/ you anymore, huu 76. But I truthfully feel sorry for you, Brother!
Loser!(<-----Huu 76)
   Sunday, December 22, 2002 at 14:33:12 (PST)    [61.11.245.6]
Why is it that everything needs to be put in black or white? Some people are trying to argue by twisting my words and taking everything to its extreme. Lisa looks like Tia Carrere; she is tall, elegant, and very attractive. I (to give an honest assessment), am not very good looking. Someone tried to discredit me by bringing up the previous example of "would Lisa date Newt Gingrich." Of course not! She's not very picky about looks, but she DOES have standards. She wouldn't date Newt based on looks, but instead would wait for a RELATIVELY more attractive WM. Relative to Newt Gingrich, I, Rob, am attractive (ahem...VERY attractive), but relative to a guy who someone of Lisa's beauty would normally date, I am not. Why is this hard to understand? Please stop trying to discredit me with these crazy exaggerations.

lets talk:

"I truly feel that this gender divide should be discussed by ASIANS only. We are the only ones who have the most insight about it, and havent we had enough outside opinions and assumptions on us throughout our lives?"

We're all Americans (or Canadians). I've dated three Asian women, and I know about Asian culture. Why shouldn't I participate in this discussion. After all, its consequences affect me (and Hank) just as much as they would affect an AM. And what about AF who date us? Don't you think their opinions should count?
Rob
   Sunday, December 22, 2002 at 13:17:28 (PST)    [32.100.71.136]
This is directed to the Asian guys who moan and groan on this topic:

I'm a young Asian male that works in the Hollywood studio system. If you want Asian females to respect you, then drop the wounded Asian male persona, it's tired and pathetic. Get a freaking grip on your personal reality! Here's a hint: Someone's attempt to break you down can easily be turned into something positive. So if someone knocks you down, find the strength to pick yourself up and fight back.
For those of you who don't feel I've been through those wars, think for a moment about the industry I work in and the flak that I have to deflect. Remember, this is the industry that perpetuates that stereotypical crap! I refuse to be knocked down by the top brass, and many respect me for that. Sometime in the near future, I will get my point across through my projects. I will show all of you the entire scope of Asian men and women: Good, bad, sexy, undesirable, agressive, passive, young, old, relationships between Asian men and women, etc. There is light at the end of the tunnel for us. Hang in there.
In the meantime, quit feeling sorry for yourselves and become proactive. Reach out to your friends, communities, clubs, etc. Promote awareness and togetherness. This is what will open up Asian females to you, RESPECT.
Hollywood has opened my eyes, but then again, I'm a very agressive guy. That's why I don't have any problems talking to any female, race open. I have female execs asking me out to dinner. You can have this too, just readjust your thinking. It will all be good.
I'm sure your Asian sisters will appreciate this.
AsianHollywood
   Sunday, December 22, 2002 at 12:00:35 (PST)    [63.233.29.138]

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