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GOLDSEA |
ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
The Truth about Asian American Fathers
or many Asian Americans the most gratifying moments of the Salt Lake City Games weren't seeing Apolo Anton Ohno and Michele Kwan winning their medals; they were seeing two Asian American men being recognized as key forces in the lives of two exceptional American Olympians. How often does that happen in the American media?
Each time the TV cameras came in tight on Yuki Ohno and Danny Kwan rinkside, U.S. TV audiences saw two distinct images of Asian American fatherhood. Yuki was emotional, vocal and aggressive. Danny was impassive, silent and tentative. Some viewers might have felt cognitive dissonance. The faces of both men were unmistakeably Asian but neither evoked the familiar stereotype of the cold, stern taskmaster frowning at their kids' shortcomings.
Of course Danny Kwan and Yuki Ohno are fathers of exceptional offspring. But are they exceptions that prove the rule, or is the stereotype based on distortions born of nothing but ignorance? Do AA fathers help their children mature into well-adjusted, successful adults or are they just another obstacle in the path of young Asians seeking a place in American society?
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 06:03:21 PM)
Here is something which should be
discussed on goldsea.
For the complete article:
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/134413955_fancher03 .
It's a wonderful article. Its beginning reads like a direct
reply to 80-20's e-mail:
"After the 1998 Winter Olympics figure skating finals, MSNBC
headlined: "American beats out Kwan." .... Just a few days
ago, an almost IDENTICAL headline appeared. ..."
Seattle Times' FIRST apology was issued on 02/23. It was entitled:
"An Apology":
"A headline in yesterday's Sports section, written quickly
on deadline, offended many readers, and for that we
apologize. The headline on our lead story about the gold-
medal skating performance of Sarah Hughes was in two
parts: a main headline, "Hughes good as gold" and a
secondary headline, "American outshines Kwan, Slutskaya
in skating surprise". Readers called to complain that the
secondary headline implied that Michelle Kwan was not an
American. While that was not intended--the writer was
attempting to find another word for "Hughes" in order not
to repeat her name in the second head--we apologize for any
misunderstanding."
Former Seattle asian
Friday, March 08, 2002 at 19:16:48 (PST)
I never had any relationship with my father and now as I think about it, I don't really need him for anything important. Eveything I needed my mother gave it to me. He's more concern about his relatives over in Cambodia then he is of us. We do not like them one bit. F***en pricks are always hinting/asking my dad for money and when we ask for a few bucks for shcool books, he'd get all annoyed. I guess my dad fits the image of a chinese father who doesn't show any effection towards his kids.
Mr. Hann
Friday, March 08, 2002 at 17:33:36 (PST)
Additionally, I think that it's important for asians born in this country (or any other country that the main language isn't their parent's native language) to learn their parent's and grandparents language. I can't emphasize this enough because the first step towards understanding your parents and knowing that they love you. I don't think white, black fathers are any better or worse than asian fathers (part of this is media based..but more on that some other post..lol). I was born in the US (ABC) and lucky for me I can speak my parents and my grandparents language (though with a slight brooklyn accent according to my dad..lol). Having meaningful conversations with your parents goes a long way in self love and self confidence..unfortunately most of the americanized asian women I've known don't even know their own language...how can your father/mother convey their love to you if you can't even understand what their language? how can you develop a positive relationship with your father if you can't communicate with them? that is the problem with why asian women go out with white males (among other things), those who immigrate here is another situation. Basically, I still think it's funny how some asian people think that white people make better parents or better fathers is just kidding themselves or better yet lying to themselves but it's their cross to bear not mine cuz I've made it a priority to speak to my parents and communicate with them...On a side note..my political statement of the day is that don't believe the hype about the media portraying or even buying into self hating asians about how their fathers are so this and that...when it comes down to it, unless you talk with them and understand how they grew up you will never be able to love yourself and understand where you came from...
Ghost Writer NYC
"Revolution is the fuse that ignites change"
Ghost Writer NYC
Friday, March 08, 2002 at 16:13:07 (PST)
Oh please--does everyone on this entire board get their image of life from tv? Everyone, TV LIES! The images you see on tv of white people are, in fact, no more accurate than they are of Asians! White families have been tripping over the feeling that we should all be living in nice big houses in the 'burbs for decades, because guess what? We're NOT. We're also not all randomly sleeping with multiple partners or getting drunk Friday nights or whatever else you were thinking. If you don't have any source besides television to go from, I highly recommend that you don't imagine that you know ANYTHING about ANY race or group.
schiavona
Friday, March 08, 2002 at 10:49:31 (PST)
I think what parents of all ethnic groups need to strive for is BALANCE between Love/Affection and Discipline.
To set it up for you on parenting styles (all you management types would love this!):
Discipline w/o Love/affection = Authoritarian
Love/Affection w/o Discipline = Permissive
Neither Discipline nor Love/Affection = Negligent
Love/Affection w/Discipline in balanced measure = Noble
Most White Parents Fall in the Permissive Category, while most Asian Parents fall in the Authoritarian category. Negligent Parenting is uncommon among both groups, but not as common as the other two types. Noble parenting however is very rare among ANY ethnic groups.
So, let's learn from each other--White folks, CRACK THE WHIP more on your kids and Asian folks, CUT LOOSE and don't be so freaking anal!!!
The Golden Mean
Friday, March 08, 2002 at 09:58:46 (PST)
I really don't understand Asian girls. They are spoiled rotton. They complain that their fathers are strict and uncaring. These girls have no idea that their fathers push them so they can succeed. These spoiled AFs don't realize that many white fathers don't give a damn about their daughters. You can see it on television everyday. The white father abandon his family, and the daughter grows up without a father figure. She then is starved for attention from males so she haves sex with multiple partners at an early age. Asian females should appreciate their fathers for steering these girls in the right direction.
Just Another AM
Thursday, March 07, 2002 at 19:20:02 (PST)
I would have to say it all depends on upbringings. Though my dad and I have our lil father-daughter "disputes", he is one of the most nurturing fathers I've seen in my generation. Through all the difficult paradigms, my dad worked hard to give his family a better life. By watching him go through all these obstacles for his family, we (the kids) know our part in life. We have learned to appreciate everything he has done for us, if not, more. I wouldn't even compare my dad to any other dads because every family is different.
Happy AA Daughter
Thursday, March 07, 2002 at 13:53:05 (PST)
I just wanted to say that I have the greatest dad in the universe, and I feel like the luckiest daughter. My family is chinese, but he was born in Cambodia, and I was born in Vietnam. We moved to the U.S. in 1989. He's always supportive of me and reminds me that I can do whatever I want to do, even though I am a girl. He got me involved in sports, art, and whatever before I went away for college.
Now, I am dating a black man, and he welcomes my boyfriend with open arms and they get along well. He does show effection, and he loves his family dearly. He works hard to provide for us. It saddens to hear about all the negativities regarding Asian fathers.
Proud AA woman
Wednesday, March 06, 2002 at 15:57:31 (PST)
You people watch TV and automatically think all white parents are fun...yup they go on family trips every sunday sit at the dinner table eat an all american meal and talk about how school was today...hahahhaha this is media you dumb asses...sure some do it but the majority doesnt...the majority has no time for their children b/c of work work work...and theres nothing wrong with asian parents...statistics show it...asians are getting great jobs such as lawyers, doctors...you people want everything the whites have...you want to look up to them ... idiots
phil the thrill
gex83@yahoo.com
Wednesday, March 06, 2002 at 10:13:59 (PST)
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