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GOLDSEA |
ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
The Truth about Asian American Fathers
or many Asian Americans the most gratifying moments of the Salt Lake City Games weren't seeing Apolo Anton Ohno and Michele Kwan winning their medals; they were seeing two Asian American men being recognized as key forces in the lives of two exceptional American Olympians. How often does that happen in the American media?
Each time the TV cameras came in tight on Yuki Ohno and Danny Kwan rinkside, U.S. TV audiences saw two distinct images of Asian American fatherhood. Yuki was emotional, vocal and aggressive. Danny was impassive, silent and tentative. Some viewers might have felt cognitive dissonance. The faces of both men were unmistakeably Asian but neither evoked the familiar stereotype of the cold, stern taskmaster frowning at their kids' shortcomings.
Of course Danny Kwan and Yuki Ohno are fathers of exceptional offspring. But are they exceptions that prove the rule, or is the stereotype based on distortions born of nothing but ignorance? Do AA fathers help their children mature into well-adjusted, successful adults or are they just another obstacle in the path of young Asians seeking a place in American society?
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 06:03:19 PM)
Hank Lewis,
I can see it now. The year 2022 and Helena Lewis post the following,
"My dad made me lift weighs and sit in deep horse stances as a kick. Now I got thick thighs. Its all his fault for pushing me so hard ..... yada yada"
Kids get sick all the time from age 2-3. That when the mom's immunity wears off and the kid needs to develop their own. Better stock up on the Kleenex and Children's Tylenol.
I would loose all my hair if I ever had a girl, because I know there would be scummy guys like me out there. And I have a pretty high opinion of myself.
AC Dropout
Monday, May 13, 2002 at 15:18:13 (PDT)
I agree that it is an age thing. Adults, in general, can be really affectionate with toddlers...but as the kids age, they desire to be more independant. The cute talks and plays they once had when they were little, will be perceived as childish with age. I think that's why the affection fades.
be
Tuesday, May 07, 2002 at 14:48:00 (PDT)
AC Dropout:
I hope not. I'm trying to raise Helena to be a Daddy's girl--even as a baby she knows it. She was sick recently and was fussy as all get out to her Waipoi, her mom and her Aunt. However, as soon as I got home, my wife handed her to me, I held her on my shoulder, she calmed down and went to sleep. Julie was NOT amused to say the least.
I won't lock Helena up in the house, but I will send her to Kungfu class and Chinese School. I'm also going to teach her to swim and lift weights. Why? So that way she'll be healthy, look good and be able to kick the crap out of any boy, White, Asian or whatever else who tries to disrespect her! (Yeah--overprotective Dad here!)
Hank Lewis
Tuesday, May 07, 2002 at 10:33:37 (PDT)
Hank Lewis,
It's a generation thing. In about 20 years or so your daughter will say the same about you on Goldsea:
"My dad would not let me out of the house...yada yada...He was a dictator at home....yada yada...I can't believe he treats my child like a diamond."
Can't you see it coming? ^_^
AC Dropout
Monday, May 06, 2002 at 13:07:45 (PDT)
Thanks Be :) Also, Hank Lewis, I agree with you. My Asian FIL is the same. No affection or good words for my husband and his brother, but yet he loves and adores our baby boy, his grandson. He holds him and brags on him and plays with him. My husband just smiles and whispers to me "He never held me once, not even as a baby!" and he is thrilled that our newest little generation is getting this physical affection and positive attention.
Another quick comment, I sometimes post under HB, if I am in a hurry and do not want to write out my nickname Hannybunbun. Just so you know my posts are consistant and genuine.
Hannybunbun (HB)
Monday, May 06, 2002 at 13:04:51 (PDT)
On a more postive note about my father, it is amazing how some men who are total bastards towards their kids are so kind, sweet, loving and encouraging towards their GRANDKIDS. Every time I see how he acts towards my daughter and how he brags about her to STRANGERS in places like Wal-Mart or a local Chinese restaurant I am flabbergasted.
I guess no father is ever too late for redemption.
Hank Lewis
Monday, May 06, 2002 at 06:42:35 (PDT)
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