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ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
The Truth about Asian American Fathers
or many Asian Americans the most gratifying moments of the Salt Lake City Games weren't seeing Apolo Anton Ohno and Michele Kwan winning their medals; they were seeing two Asian American men being recognized as key forces in the lives of two exceptional American Olympians. How often does that happen in the American media?
Each time the TV cameras came in tight on Yuki Ohno and Danny Kwan rinkside, U.S. TV audiences saw two distinct images of Asian American fatherhood. Yuki was emotional, vocal and aggressive. Danny was impassive, silent and tentative. Some viewers might have felt cognitive dissonance. The faces of both men were unmistakeably Asian but neither evoked the familiar stereotype of the cold, stern taskmaster frowning at their kids' shortcomings.
Of course Danny Kwan and Yuki Ohno are fathers of exceptional offspring. But are they exceptions that prove the rule, or is the stereotype based on distortions born of nothing but ignorance? Do AA fathers help their children mature into well-adjusted, successful adults or are they just another obstacle in the path of young Asians seeking a place in American society?
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 06:03:18 PM)
Amy Yueh,
If I had a daughter...That's why I'm saying I don't think I could handle it. Unlike immigrant parents who can double think that their daughters will be virginal till marriage. Having acclimated to USA culture I know my hypothetical daughter will be sexually active before her 20th birthday.
And with my genes she will be quite attrative and quite the slut also. A terrible combination. I'm losing hair just thinking about this.
AC Dropout
Monday, June 03, 2002 at 06:43:35 (PDT)
AC Dropout:
Do you really think I would have told my dad I'd become sexually active when I was in college? Are you NUTS? That's one of those things it's best that he didn't know--don't ask and don't tell.
I am married now so it's pretty much understood that my husband and I are "sexually active." I highly doubt my dad is pulling his hair out and lamenting to my mother "that man is violating my daughters womanhood." If you had a daughter, would you honestly do that?
Amy Yueh
Wednesday, May 29, 2002 at 06:19:54 (PDT)
Okay--let's redefine it:
Kid's appreciate you for the most part between birth and age 12. Between ages 13-22, they only appreciate you for money and a roof over their head, but otherwise they think they know it all. Around age 25, as they get out into the real world and have to deal with politics at work, challenges of marriage, dating and money management, it occurs to them their parents are knowledgeable again.
Some kids figure it out sooner than others do.
Hank Lewis
Tuesday, May 28, 2002 at 06:51:13 (PDT)
My Dad is a very nice man--just VERY QUIET AND STOIC! It makes my mom nuts because she loves to talk and socialize while he just likes to sit on the couch and read or clean his pool. He does like to eat meat and drink beer, so anytime my husband is barbecuing, he's sitting on a lawn chair on the patio with a Tsingtao in one hand and a plate of ribs in the other.
He does talk a lot to his little granddaughter though. I like my dad the way he is and I have a lot of respect for him.
Julie Zhou Lewis
Thursday, May 23, 2002 at 10:56:00 (PDT)
Amy Yueh,
If you have pictures of your father before and after you became sexually active, do you really think Rogaine and Propecia could have helped him out.
AC Dropout
Wednesday, May 22, 2002 at 13:24:33 (PDT)
Hank Lewis,
"If Julie and I are any indication, the appreciation usually kicks in after age 25"
So what do your do from age 4 -25. That's 21 years of being unappreciated.
AC Dropout
Wednesday, May 22, 2002 at 13:23:10 (PDT)
"I would loose all my hair if I ever had a girl, because I know there would be scummy guys like me out there. And I have a pretty high opinion of myself."
Well, fortunately there's Rogaine and Propecia to help you out, hon!
Amy Yueh
Tuesday, May 21, 2002 at 06:17:18 (PDT)
AC Dropout:
I guess you figure no efforts by parents to develop their kids into strong, capable people will go unpunished, eh? We can only hope that some of the things we do will be eventually appreciated. If Julie and I are any indication, the appreciation usually kicks in after age 25.
Good luck to you.
Hank Lewis
Monday, May 20, 2002 at 06:37:10 (PDT)
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