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ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
The Truth about Asian American Fathers
or many Asian Americans the most gratifying moments of the Salt Lake City Games weren't seeing Apolo Anton Ohno and Michele Kwan winning their medals; they were seeing two Asian American men being recognized as key forces in the lives of two exceptional American Olympians. How often does that happen in the American media?
    
Each time the TV cameras came in tight on Yuki Ohno and Danny Kwan rinkside, U.S. TV audiences saw two distinct images of Asian American fatherhood. Yuki was emotional, vocal and aggressive. Danny was impassive, silent and tentative. Some viewers might have felt cognitive dissonance. The faces of both men were unmistakeably Asian but neither evoked the familiar stereotype of the cold, stern taskmaster frowning at their kids' shortcomings.
    
Of course Danny Kwan and Yuki Ohno are fathers of exceptional offspring. But are they exceptions that prove the rule, or is the stereotype based on distortions born of nothing but ignorance? Do AA fathers help their children mature into well-adjusted, successful adults or are they just another obstacle in the path of young Asians seeking a place in American society?
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 06:03:18 PM)
Hank Lewis,
You know what they say about grand parents and kids...they have a common enemy.
Beware, your dad is just befriending an ally for future wars...
Multiplication is better than Division
  
Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 22:03:27 (PDT)
This isn't really related, but I couldn't find the Hakka board. Does anyone know where I could get a CD of Hakka music for my dad for Father's Day? Thanks.
Texasian
  
Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 18:06:08 (PDT)
Amy Yueh,
"Be sure to use birth control"
I try...but sometimes women say "I love you, I want feel you inside me, it's safe time of the month, etc..." Who am I to argue in the heat of the moment.
If I raised a girl. There is no doubt I would teach her that sex can be used as a tool and that multiple partners is okay.
If I let the women raise her....well she slept with me.
It's 1000% garanteed slut, if I had a daughter. No win situation.
AC Dropout
  
Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 11:59:12 (PDT)
1/2LostSoul,
"he will growth up just like dad"
I'd be forced to kill him and kick him out of the house. Or I'd be forced to kick him out of the house and then kill him. Depending on what kind of trouble he got himself into.
AC Dropout
  
Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 11:18:31 (PDT)
Amy Yueh,
I been with a few virgins. None of them had neuroses. I'm sure you did not have neuroses. I sure didn't have any neuroses.
If women did not know, it hurts the man just as much when women are that tight from the first time. You're literally trying to push apart the pelvic bone with a soft six inches crowbar.
Marriage and virginity. That depends on the couple I guess.
It takes a lot of experience on the man's part to make sure the female doesn't feel too uncomfortable the first time or after a long duration without sex. Knowledge of foreplay, oral, etc. will come into play. Prior to insertion, clitorial climax should be achieved a few time.
"Here's to you having a daughter REAL SOON"
You're an evil, evil person. ^_^
AC Dropout
  
Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 11:16:22 (PDT)
AC Dropout,
You can always have a baby boy..that way he will growth up just like dad (for better or worse). Maybe he will become an MD.
1/2LostSoul
  
Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 09:20:47 (PDT)
AC Dropout:
Be sure to use birth control then. From what I know of guys, usually the ones who are players, sow their wild oats and have several sex partners are the ones who end up having a daughter whom they try to raise as though they were puritans or she were in a convent. Ironically, this tends to bring on the "slutty" behavior.
I don't think that an unmarried woman who is in a long-term serious relationship with a man is being a slut if the relationship were to include sex. The problem is that A LOT of fathers--especially Asian fathers--tend to think that it is, even though they've gotten busy back in the day.
Lastly, most of the guys whom I know (including Asian guys) say that they DON'T want to marry a virgin because they don't want to deal with all the neuroses associated with being a woman's first and also that they don't want to deal with how difficult it is for the woman to make the adjustment to being sexually active.
I know one guy who did marry a virgin who told me that his wife would hardly have sex with him during their first year of marriage because her hymen was so intact that it was too painful for him to insert his penis, no matter how gentle he was, how much lube they used or how much foreplay was engaged. His wife ended up having to see her ob-gyn to have it removed under anesthesia so that they were able to have sex without her being in pain. Several times he lamented to me that it would have been so much easier with an experienced woman because there would have been no pain issues involving sex and they would have been a lot happier earlier in their marriage.
Here's to you having a daughter REAL SOON, AC Dropout!!!
Amy Yueh
  
Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 05:42:34 (PDT)
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