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ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
The Truth about Asian American Fathers
or many Asian Americans the most gratifying moments of the Salt Lake City Games weren't seeing Apolo Anton Ohno and Michele Kwan winning their medals; they were seeing two Asian American men being recognized as key forces in the lives of two exceptional American Olympians. How often does that happen in the American media?
Each time the TV cameras came in tight on Yuki Ohno and Danny Kwan rinkside, U.S. TV audiences saw two distinct images of Asian American fatherhood. Yuki was emotional, vocal and aggressive. Danny was impassive, silent and tentative. Some viewers might have felt cognitive dissonance. The faces of both men were unmistakeably Asian but neither evoked the familiar stereotype of the cold, stern taskmaster frowning at their kids' shortcomings.
Of course Danny Kwan and Yuki Ohno are fathers of exceptional offspring. But are they exceptions that prove the rule, or is the stereotype based on distortions born of nothing but ignorance? Do AA fathers help their children mature into well-adjusted, successful adults or are they just another obstacle in the path of young Asians seeking a place in American society?
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 06:03:17 PM)
David Blackthorn,
Sound like your wife father is a racist. I doubt I would do that to my daughter.
But in any event you did have pre-marital sex with his daughter. What if you got her pregenant prior to deciding you were going to marry her. That is the problem with fathers of daughters.
Sure I had premarital sex. But my parents knew that as a guy I could walk away from the situation as an option. A girl is not that fortunate when dealing with problems like that.
AC Dropout
Friday, June 14, 2002 at 11:13:45 (PDT)
AC Dropout reminds me of the father of a gal I was dating a few years ago named Diem (who used an American name, Dina). She was of Viet ancestry, but born here and spoke with a Southern Belle accent.
Her dad was pissed off when he discovered she was dating a White guy. He didn't care that I was a degreed professional with a good job and no debt. He didn't care that I was a decent man who treated his daughter and her family with respect. All he saw was a pink face and he thought "American GI messing around with Viet Hookers."
He told her that her dating a White guy was making herself into a whore like those who hung around the US and French soldiers in Saigon. He was convinced she was going to come to him one day, pregnant with an illegitimate mongrel child, swearing he would cut it out of her to kill it. He was so obsessed that a number of times he called me up at work, at home, on my cell, etc. screaming "You're trying to f*** my daughter, you White bastard!"
One day, Dina overheard him on the phone yelling at me, so she grabbed the phone and screamed "That White bastard has ALREADY F***ED YOUR DAUGHTER! Many times in fact. And HE WAS GOOD, OH YEAH! VERY GOOD!" before slamming the phone. Suffice it to say, that did nothing to ingratiate her with her dad or me for that matter.
We eloped in Vegas not long after that, have two beautiful kids who see their grandma, aunts and uncles all the time (both sides of the family.) However, they have never seen or met their maternal grandfather because he still sees his daughter as a "whore."
The guy isn't doing so good anymore either. He disowned another daughter because she married a Chinese-American guy and a son because he came out as gay. You'd think his kids' accomplishments (all six have college degrees and are a doctor, a lawyer, an accountant, a dentist, a real estate agent and a college professor) and their sense of loyalty to each other as family would mean something to him, but apparently not.
David Blackthorn
Wednesday, June 12, 2002 at 11:59:08 (PDT)
ABT guy,
This is America, the land of the young. You think your parents could have managed your sexual activities to their expectations.
Junvenile or not, it is a reality in this society, that parents cannot control their kids' sexual activities.
AC Dropout
Thursday, June 06, 2002 at 09:25:08 (PDT)
Texasian,
China. Maybe YesAsia has it.
AC Dropout
Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 14:47:40 (PDT)
AC Dropout: you are one overdramatic guy. lighten up. Maybe you need spiritual guidance in order to develop your own moral compass so that you can be an honourable person and successful father. Your last few statements sound juvenile in my honest opinion. If you had kids, you are the parent and have the responsibility and power to shape their growth and character. They don't have to grow up to be a goon if its a son, or a slut if its a daughter IF you choose to behave like a real man with them throughout their growing years. just my two cents man.
ABT guy
Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 13:05:09 (PDT)
MIBTD:
HA HA HA HA HA!
It is often said that Parents pay back their children for all the grief they gave them by becoming Grandparents, allowing the grandkids to consume as much junk food as they want, stay up late, go to fast food places, give them money, and overall spoil them in ways that they NEVER did them and then sending them back to their kids to deal with the aftermath.
I think Helena will have only supervised visits with her Grandpa and her Waipoi!!!
Hank Lewis
Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 13:02:35 (PDT)
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