|
|
|
|
|
GOLDSEA |
ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
The Truth about Asian American Fathers
or many Asian Americans the most gratifying moments of the Salt Lake City Games weren't seeing Apolo Anton Ohno and Michele Kwan winning their medals; they were seeing two Asian American men being recognized as key forces in the lives of two exceptional American Olympians. How often does that happen in the American media?
Each time the TV cameras came in tight on Yuki Ohno and Danny Kwan rinkside, U.S. TV audiences saw two distinct images of Asian American fatherhood. Yuki was emotional, vocal and aggressive. Danny was impassive, silent and tentative. Some viewers might have felt cognitive dissonance. The faces of both men were unmistakeably Asian but neither evoked the familiar stereotype of the cold, stern taskmaster frowning at their kids' shortcomings.
Of course Danny Kwan and Yuki Ohno are fathers of exceptional offspring. But are they exceptions that prove the rule, or is the stereotype based on distortions born of nothing but ignorance? Do AA fathers help their children mature into well-adjusted, successful adults or are they just another obstacle in the path of young Asians seeking a place in American society?
This interactive article is closed to new input.
Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
CONTACT US
|
ADVERTISING INFO
© 1996-2013 Asian Media Group Inc
No part of the contents of this site may be reproduced without prior written permission.
|
|
|
|
WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 06:03:17 PM)
David Blackthorn,
Oh my, sounds like your father in law is a little off balance. He was going to accuse you of rape, sounds like pretty radical behavior.
Maybe if your relation with your father in law or mother in law improves, you can find out what they about their daughter sleeping with an employee. As an employer, I know I wouldn't be so indifferent to an employee having sex with my daughter. That's like a fast track to the unemployment line in my book. Who knows, maybe he hated that employee as much as he hated you.
Maybe over time he will come to terms with your marriage. We can always be optimistic about these things.
Do you give your father in law any business at the detailing shop. I know its form of bribery. But sometimes Benjamins speak louder than words.
AC stands for Andersen Consulting, which doesn't exist anymore. I used it cause my very first post was in the glass ceiling section of goldsea.
AC Dropout
Thursday, June 20, 2002 at 12:51:57 (PDT)
I have read several posts in different parts of GoldSea (D. Blackthorn's, Eric Hammer's True Story, etc.) where it has been said either by an AF or a WM dating an AF that their fathers viewed any AF who dated a WM as a "whore" or a "slut" or something to that general effect. Is this something common? I ask this because my Dad never acted like that, nor have the dads of several of my girlfriends. Maybe it has to do with location or something. Can any AA dads with teenage/college age daughters sound off on this please?
Brittany Nguyen
Thursday, June 20, 2002 at 08:32:29 (PDT)
AC Dropout:
I emphasized consentual because my father-in-law was yelling he was going to the police to say I raped his daughter at the time of her response to him on the phone. One of his ploys to break us up.
I am basing my comments about his reaction to her involvement with her dad's former employee on what she said his behavior was. She said he pretended nothing was going on--like he didn't care at all.
You're right about what you said about brainwashing/deprogramming. My father-in-law would need some serious deprogramming that I don't think even the CIA could do. He hates White men with Asian women, Gays, Blacks, Hispanics, Chinese and Japanese. He once said the only thing he would take from them is their money when they come into his business (an auto detailing shop). What can you do?
By the way, what does "AC" stand for in your name?
David Blackthorn
Thursday, June 20, 2002 at 06:10:50 (PDT)
David Blackthorn,
Immigrant Fathers will be immigrant fathers. You can't ask them to forget their life time of experience to conform with your needs.
That's like if I had a father in law who was a KKK or Black Panther, and I ask them to give up the premise of their hate. I would need some serious CIA brainwashing techniques to acheive those results. Like that infamous brainwashing drug TTTTT (Till They Tell The Truth).
What's with the emphasis on "consentual." I never questioned that. Sounds more like your trying to deal with the fact she seduced and raped you or something, or vise versa.
How do you know what your father in law was thinking when his employee was sleeping with his daughter. Or is it your wife's interpretation which you are basing your conclusions on.
AC Dropout
Tuesday, June 18, 2002 at 15:34:20 (PDT)
AC Dropout:
Yeah, Dina and I did have CONSENTUAL premarital sex. However, we were being responsible adults--I wore a condom and she was on the pill. To paraphrase Paul Masson, we were going to have no child before our time.
Also, neither Dina nor I were virgins when we started dating so it really wasn't an issue for us, just her dad who was constantly thinking we were doing it long before we ever did (we dated a year before we became sexually intimate.) However, the guy she'd lost it to was a Viet-American guy who worked for her dad, but somehow his obsession over his daughters virtue didn't materialize then. Where was all of his acrimony when that guy was f***ing his daughter?
I feel badly for my father in law sometimes. The guy went through a rough patch back in Vietnam. His family lost everything they'd worked for over there and came to the US with nothing but the clothes on their backs and a few family jewels they were able to smuggle with them.
They lived in a run-down tenament for 10 years while he built up his business into a success and after saving a lot of money over that time, moved into a nice house in the burbs they bought with cash--no mortgage. The guy accomplished a lot in his life despite this, but somehow his bitterness over events that happened in the land of his birth have made him into a hateful old man.
I really would rather have civil relatioins with him, as would his alienated children. However, some folks find it easier to hate because it's what they're used to. Letting go of that hate requires them to change and that's something a lot of older people fear.
David Blackthorn
Monday, June 17, 2002 at 06:44:34 (PDT)
NEWEST COMMENTS |
EARLIER COMMENTS
|