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GOLDSEA |
ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
AA MEN SEEK OUT NON-ASIAN WOMEN
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:38:55 AM)
sian women are only interested in non-Asian men and don't give Asian men the time of day. That's the reason cited by many AA men for dating and marrying non-Asians. A minority of AA men say they simply find non-Asian women more physically attractive or more appealing in terms of personality, values and interests.
The new pairing?
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Whatever the reasons, the rates at which young Asian men are dating and marrying non-Asian women are quickly approaching the rates at which Asian women are outdating and outmarrying (about 38%). Some Asian women are complaining that they aren't getting a fair shake because Asian men have been brainwashed by media standards of desirability.
What are the real reasons for so many Asian men seeking out non-Asian women? How do Asian women really feel about this trend? Who benefits most from it? Will the trend continue? We want to hear your views.
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Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
Dont ask me why, I dont know,
I had something similar happen to me too. I am quite good looking and built, and every once in a while I get some average looking AF trying to showboat her fat WM. Hehe... It's pretty f***en annoying, isn't it?
Anyway, I'll tell you what you could do. I did this to a AF/WM couple the other day.
I was walking down Santa Monica Blvd (3rd St Promenade) having a smoke while my gf was in the Diesel store buying a pair of jeans. A AF/WM couple with a baby came rolling by with a baby stroller. The AF was desperate trying to get my attention while the WM was a large, hirsute guy with an arrogant look on his face, like "I'm f***ing your sister" or something. Haha. I put out my cigarette and smiled as they walked by. Just as they were passing me, the woman pulled her husband back by his hand and started looking at the store display RIGHT next to me, as if to say "take a good look at us. bitch". I leaned toward the baby and said, "Say, that's a really adorable baby! What is it?"
They seemed totally taken aback by my approach, and after looking at each other several times, the AF said in a TOTALLY Fob-bed out accent, "Wat do yoo meen?"
I replied, "I mean what is it? Is it Chinese? Mexican? What? Is it adopted? It looks very unsusual." I said all this but failed to ask if it was white, on purpose. I mean, come on. Any moron can figure out that its a hapa baby, just look at the parents. But I did this just to throw them off. Hehe...
As the woman replied in her heavy accent, "She's Chinese and 'American'", my gf, a totally hot AF, sachayed out in her 4 inch heels. She's very slender and about 5'8" w/o heels (I'm 6'1"). A total knockout, btw. What perfect timing! =D
The AF had a look of embarrassment and disbelief on her face, and was also pissed off cause her fat WM was staring at my girl. My girl totally gave both of them the snob treatment as she grabbed my hand, turned on her heels and started walking away without saying anything. As I was dragged away, all I could mutter was a "nice talking with ya... cute baby!"
At the time I didn't realize that the events that unfolded might have embarrassed the woman and her fatman, but now that I think about it, it was hilarious!! Even tho the 'diss' by my girl was not 'planned' either, per say, it worked out beautifully. Maybe you could use that approach to throw them off when they try to showboat.
Some AFs with WMs are jokes.
Monday, September 02, 2002 at 09:47:55 (PDT)
[128.253.186.46]
Robert,
If you are willing to make a commitment to marry her then I suggest that you run off with her to marry her in a different state or something. If she is going to continue to cry and be saddened on how her mother treats her then it is best for her to get away. Psychologically, it is what's best for her. IF you want a happier life with her in the future, it is to my most honest opinion that you do something about this now. This may even affect on how she will raise your future children. That is if you're planning to have kids.
Good luck with your girl.
And don't ever let anyone discourage you to marry her just b/c she is black. She is a woman either way you put it, therefore, she is very sentimental when it comes to family and love.
Some people might disagree, but women do show their sentimentality more often then men.
Good luck.
Ray
Monday, September 02, 2002 at 09:29:21 (PDT)
[68.96.110.59]
To: Azn-Pride
I think we’re going off topic here but I do appreciate you bringing up your points. My original post you’re referring to is a thread to Thoughts… on Asian men not being represented in the media. But you’ve brought up an excellent talking point.
What you’re seeing is sector marketing. Diet Coke ads are targeted at the population that will drink a diet soda. They’re not in the space of trying to have people abandon raisin bran – more like abandon Diet Pepsi. Gatorade touts itself as a sports drink, but besides some electrolytes, it’s garbage. Have you ever tried Pocari Sweat? I think it’s from Japan, and from the contents, it’s definitely much better as a post-workout drink than Gatorade.
The slim and fat factor I think it’s quite a bit different than just what people see on TV. In most part, teenagers are more likely compete with each other to be thin than how much Gatorade they can drink. So with being thin, there’s definitely more of a peer-reinforcement than which soft drink you drink. Unless, of course, you’re s guy who drinks Dr. Pepper. In that case, you may be afraid of what your peers think of you even though you’re straight. Then it’s not just the media; it’s peer-reinforcement.
Sorry, when I mentioned the 80% number, I was referring to the 80/20 rule in sales and marketing. It’s not a number to say that 20% are Asians. The 80/20 basically states that 80% or your results come from 20% of your effort. It’s another way of stating diminishing returns.
“So what if society changes and now every race is equeal in numbers, would they [producer] then have an equal amount of blacks, asain, spanish and whites on t.v? ans "Yes", according to you.”
No, I never wrote that there will be an equal percentage mapping of race representation in the media to align with demographic distribution. I don’t know if we’ll have x% representation it the media when US population becomes x% Asian. What I’m certain about is that the advertisers will be sensitive to the fact that there’s a demographic layout and will adjust their advertising accordingly, to the best of their abilities, to maximize their profit. There’s a big different between racial representation in the media and profit. Commercial advertisers are in the business of making money, not representing races.
And if you look at the picture Anna and the King, it really wasn’t a movie geared solely to the Asian population just because it starred Chow Yun Fat. It was a remake of an old film, The King and I. But with many white women I know, the film made them notice and think about Asian men more. Do you think the media intended to pump up Asian men to non-Asian women with that film?
Further, just a few years ago when Sino-US tension was high, culminating at the air accident, there were a series of anti-China films like Spy Game. But in the past year, tension is now turned towards the Middle East, so we start seeing more terrorist pictures. So don’t take it personally. The US public has a short memory span.
Repost
Monday, September 02, 2002 at 02:29:57 (PDT)
[66.92.1.200]
“Repost, regarding your question...let me re-phrase what I said earlier, "Please re-read my post. I said that it is considered safe in the media to portray Asian female/Non-Asian male relationships." Repetition can work wonders.”
I keep rereading what you wrote and I can’t find anywhere that listed mainstream pictures with a lead Asian actress and a lead non-Asian actor. Mind if you tell us where to look? If repetition works wonders as you say, I’m sure you wouldn’t mind repeating yourself, would you?
”Bro, you don't have any jurisdiction on telling me what is or isn't considered an answer. The same way that I don't have jurisdiction on telling you the same thing. Respect that.”
Sure I can respect what you call your proof. If what you do in proving your point is 1. state an assumption (brunettes are brainwashed so they dye their hair), and then 2. state your conclusion (brunettes are dye their hair because they’re brainwashed), then that’s the your logic, and you’re fully entitled to your logic.
”It was a figure from a statistical survey. Surveys are given to willing volunteers, man. Their arms weren't wrung to put pen to paper. “
But what is the population of sampling? Did the conductors say “Oh, there’s a bleached brunette, let’s go and ask her”? Well, if that’s the case, wouldn’t you say the “statistics” are skewed?
“I never said people didn't have a choice. I say that advertant and subliminal media messages exist that shape our lives...for better, and sometimes for worse.”
No, what you said on 8/26 was:
“Without the media, there would be no sell-outs.”
So which is it? Do we have a choice or not?
“The majority of brunettes that do dye their hair are influenced by the media that blonds have more fun. Haven't you heard that one? Or are you a FOB?
No, what wrote on 8/26 was:
“Most WF's are brunettes, but the majority of them in America (about 60%) dye their hair blond as they are brainwashed daily by the media that being blond is better.”
So, the US has about 260 mil population, and say, half of them are women, and half of the women are brunettes. And with your figure, 60% are brainwashed to think that blondes are superior. That’ll make about 38 million women – brunettes only, not counting black and Asian women – that are brainwashed to think being blonde is superior.
Haven’t I heard of that one? No, I have not.
Am I a FOB? Yes, I am. Which brings up another point. What’s wrong with not being born in America? Should I be brainwashed to feel that being ABA is superior, and that I, along with all my other fellow Asian brothers and sisters who were not born here, should feel inferior to you? Or are you brainwashed to feel superior to non-US born Asians for the simple fact that you’re born here?
“…we are brainwashed sub/consciously in thinking that if it's White, it's Right.”
Speak for yourself. You may be brainwashed to think white is right, not all of us are brainwashed to think white is right.
“Where were you when the whole Abercrombie and Fitch episode took place?”
Chill out. Advertisers don’t spend billions of dollars just to piss you off. I haven’t even heard of Abercrombie and Fitch until I read about it on Goldsea. The first time I saw an A&F store was a month ago in New Orleans. Looks like another cheap Old Navy. Oops, did I bring up another sore spot?
Repost
Monday, September 02, 2002 at 02:29:37 (PDT)
[66.92.1.200]
CG:
I think upbringing and culture are overrated. If those were compelling reasons for people to be together then an Asian guy should marry his sister since they have so much in common. Yikes.
The lack of AM/WF couples on the street and in the media only has the ability to convince WF that AM won't date them and AM that WF aren't interested in them. But it can't actually change what AM and WF are attracted to. That seems to develop earlier in life and seems to be immutable.
S.U.A.G.
Monday, September 02, 2002 at 00:13:58 (PDT)
[12.221.106.26]
For all the Asian men, non-Asian women in long term relationships,
I've been kind of wondering, how long did it take you to get together? If it was a long road, what were the reasons why it took you so long? I've already established that my 'pal' has commitment issues, but I don't want to drop everything completely. We are like two peas in a pod and it's at the point now where other people see us as together and I don't quite understand why we haven't at least tried. Just the other day, I was hanging out with another good friend of mine. My "pal" comes over and the first thing he asks my other friend is "how's you wife and kids?" I didn't really pick up on it until my married friend essentially explained it's a 'jealous guy thing'.
Joy
Sunday, September 01, 2002 at 22:02:43 (PDT)
[218.219.48.172]
Curious Girl,
Feels good to be missed :). I've been really busy over here. I still have the same old issues with my 'pal'.
Joy
Sunday, September 01, 2002 at 21:55:31 (PDT)
[218.219.48.172]
I forgot who made the following comment, but I'd like to offer a diffrent take.
"Without the media, there would be no sell-outs.
We'd be dating within our own races."
I tend to see media as a tool to perpetuate a certain ideal. In the media, we don't see positive images of Asian males with white women because whoever is at the top wants to maintain a certain status quo (someone has to approve the scripts and okay the funds to make movies and tv shows). Isn't it funny how media never represents the real truth? In the real world, there are tons of examples of Asian men intermarrying black and white women in the 1800s. Were they affected by the media? Probably not. A man had to get married to a woman and that was that. I don't think they worried too much about political correctness or identity issues. Being a "sell-out" is a very new concept, I think.
Joy
Sunday, September 01, 2002 at 21:38:40 (PDT)
[218.219.48.172]
"I am Chinese-American and no way a meek nerdy guy. I talked with my best friend (who is Japanese-American) and he tells me he gets the same experiences. You see, those sellout Asian women would not rub it off on the weaker or more nerdy-looking Asian guys. They do it to the more tough or good looking ones."
Yesterday I was in an extremely heavy Asian area (not Chinatown) and happened to notice an AF/WM couple walking in front of me at a stop sign. I already spotted them many feet away so I made it a point not to even look at them. Well the WM kept staring and staring at me until our eyes finally met and he locked on. I quickly averted my eyes as I think he wanted attention or something so I naturally did not want to comply. Another time another AF/WM at a red light stopped next to me and the same thing occurred. He turned his head 90 degrees to make sure that I saw and acknowledged. I don't quite understand this behavior.
By the way, back at the first place, I counted 4 AM/WF couples to that one AF/WM couple. It seems that those numbers are indeed increasing although I understand that if I went downtown to say Union Sq. the AF/WMs would be completely overwhelming. It does seem that the AMs are appreciating the non AFs though. Just people watching.
True Brother
Sunday, September 01, 2002 at 14:48:59 (PDT)
[152.163.189.233]
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