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ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
AA MEN SEEK OUT NON-ASIAN WOMEN
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:38:55 AM)
sian women are only interested in non-Asian men and don't give Asian men the time of day. That's the reason cited by many AA men for dating and marrying non-Asians. A minority of AA men say they simply find non-Asian women more physically attractive or more appealing in terms of personality, values and interests.
The new pairing?
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Whatever the reasons, the rates at which young Asian men are dating and marrying non-Asian women are quickly approaching the rates at which Asian women are outdating and outmarrying (about 38%). Some Asian women are complaining that they aren't getting a fair shake because Asian men have been brainwashed by media standards of desirability.
What are the real reasons for so many Asian men seeking out non-Asian women? How do Asian women really feel about this trend? Who benefits most from it? Will the trend continue? We want to hear your views.
This interactive article is closed to new input.
Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
I think we all have to understand there is a natural discrepancy when it comes to AM dating non-A and AF dating non-A. The fact is, an AF can be dumb, ugly, short, uneducated and speak no English, she will still get a date with a decent white guy. The same can not be said the other way way. An Asian guy has to have all the goods in order to date non-A(generally, realistically speaking of course) Thus, your decrepancy. In fact, I am surprised the gap isn't bigger, let alone, closing in. And don't forget AM, percentage wise, we already date more outside our race, than black men, believe it or not. Not bad, when half of us, are fobs anyway. That means, the 20 to 30 somethings are making these numbers. Only a very small percentage of black men actually date outside, and typically those are the successful and most visible ones.
Personally, I don't know if it's this year or what, but I simply feel that non Asian girls are way more cooler these days then they were 5 or 10 years ago.
amtra
Wednesday, September 04, 2002 at 20:23:42 (PDT)
[64.165.210.53]
I think many of us Asian men are seeking out women of other cultures because we feel slighted by the Asian women"
- Just Commenting
In my case, I've always had a thing for White women. My most intense affairs have been with White women and I always remember them for it. I'm not quite sure what it is about them but it just seems so natural to be involved with a nice White female. My past few relationships have been with Asian females and since I'm now between women I think I might set my crosshairs on another White woman this time. I don't do it out of any animosity toward AFs but I know that I have nothing to feel guilty about. It's all good.
Asian Brother
Wednesday, September 04, 2002 at 17:56:31 (PDT)
[205.188.209.140]
Not wanting to be left out,
Are you jealous or something? Whats your problem? Men can be attracted to whomever they like. Why should they have to change their views to please everyone? Especially you? I think you are envious and have problems.
Joy,
Why such an angry hostile attitude? I didn't say anything offensive. I don't really know what your deal is either. I get so tired of people like you that want to argue all of the time. Geeze. What a waste of time!
curious girl,
You and I are not much different, whether you want to believe it or not. I have read some of your other posts. You come from a family that is not so accepting just like mine. I don't know why you think your better than me somehow. Guess what? You are no better than me. Actually, I read something about you being overweight, and being a brunette? So I really don't think your some beauty queen. So don't flatter yourself dearie.
And to whomever called me Marsha Brady?
Marsha Brady happens to have been the babe of the 60s'. So I take that as a compliment. And I must also add that if you have a picture of me then it must be at least a year old. I don't deal with chatrooms anymore or bother to post pictures to lonely, weak guys like you. Sorry hun.
Smooches.
Kathleen
Wednesday, September 04, 2002 at 14:00:44 (PDT)
[64.12.96.39]
Just commenting, I read many posts by other AMs that say the same thing, especially on the Gender Divide board. Do you think that some AMs seek out non-AFs just to get back at AFs? Or do you think that some AMs have given up on AFs and prefer to date non-AF's? And is there another category of AMs that like both AFs and non-AFs but prefer non-AFs?
curious girl
Wednesday, September 04, 2002 at 12:24:59 (PDT)
[206.34.216.7]
"I think that anyone who feels a need to parade their b/f or g/f in front of others in order to elicit a jealous response is suffering from insecurity."
-- Here's my deal. I am attracted to non-Asian women. I would not parade a white or other woman in front of others, I am too modest for that. But I will walk with my head held up high. I only deserve the best I can get. I will not keep my head down because I have a white gf or something like that. Perhaps that could be construed at snobbery. I'm sure that most of this is a misunderstanding.
I think that most of the time when an AF/WM couple walk with their noses up in the air they are just being defensive for fear of being insluted for dating each other. Its a simple defense mechanism. On the other hand most AF who are show-boating sellouts make a spectacle of themselves in public (talk loudly, make out in public). They do it b/c they want to be seen. They will do everything in their power to make eye contact while holding their WM's hand. That happened to me in a mall only last week, and I looked her dead in the eye and snickered and looked away laughing as I shook my head. The AF seemed bothered by it. I think that giving them the "whatever dude... you are such a desperate loser" look will work perfectly in most cases, at least with sellouts.
Amused Guy
Wednesday, September 04, 2002 at 12:08:14 (PDT)
[128.253.186.46]
I'm all about the halfies. =)
I love biracial black women, white/middle eastern and white/hispanic mixes. Well, not that I've been with many (just one persian/white), but I still find them mesmerizing!
=)
Wednesday, September 04, 2002 at 12:01:32 (PDT)
[128.253.186.46]
Not Wanting to be Left Out!! :-):
Welcome to the real world.
Men and women alike are made to feel that being White makes a person somehow superior to others.
You can thank the media for this.
There are men like myself however, that appreciate ladies of color like yourself even more.
Thoughts...
Wednesday, September 04, 2002 at 10:12:45 (PDT)
[208.48.177.3]
Just my two bits:
I think many of us Asian men are seeking out women of other cultures because we feel slighted by the Asian women.
Just commenting.
Wednesday, September 04, 2002 at 07:33:26 (PDT)
[198.38.46.71]
Curious 1,
I'm surprise your still writing to me. I thought I had blown you off with my stand the other day. But I'm happy your still willing to talk. I apologize if I had insulted you and wf dating am. Hope you [and her] don't take it personally.
Where I lived I don't see many Af/Wm and AM/non-AF couple. Only once in a blue moon I see a few in the city and that is about it. But I do see way more AM/AF reationship. My point from my stand is that you just don't know who is going to back stab us. It could be an AF as well as non-AF. To me, none can be perfect and both can turn their back on us [and appreciated us].
I do agree there are AF who snub AM with their non-asain partner and think they have gotten something better.
[There are also those AF/AM couple that snub other AM too]
But.... there are also Non-Asain female/non-Asain male IR partner that does the same. The reason why they take more notice of Af/non-AM pairing is b/c physologically, it is their kind and [they care about it as well] it is why it bother them [these guys here]. This also show that they still like AF, if not they wouldn't care.
I appreciated you sticking for your AM and whole-heardedly defend him when he is insulted. Like I said in my post to you on the other board, I am happy to see this from you and girls like you [defending AM]. If you were my girl-friend and defedning me, there is no-doubt in my mind that I would also whole-heardely defend you in any situation we are in. But.. like I have in my paragraph up there; it is true that both non-AF and AF can turn their back on us and both can love us [i.e you]. And I just don't blame or appreciated one side. It's both, if you know what i mean!!!!!!
Lastly-thanks for sharing though. I appreciated your post, sharing information where we can both learn from each other.. [if you want an appologize letter, just ask i'll have it for you =) ] Thanks!!!!!!!!!
Peace-out, time for me to take a break, hot dayzzzzz are over.
Azn-Pride
Wednesday, September 04, 2002 at 07:13:12 (PDT)
[162.83.150.226]
To: Thoughts...
If you can’t answer any of my points, just say you can’t answer them. There’s no need to hide behind the ABA-superiority attitude. You’re only giving a bad name to ABA’s who are indeed intelligent, logical, and truly attuned to their Asian culture. Asians with self-confidence, both American-born and non-American-born, don’t have the need to segregate. It’s a shame that you do. And you’re complaining about A&F for what, being racist? That’s a little hypocritical of you, isn’t it?
Repost
Wednesday, September 04, 2002 at 01:00:35 (PDT)
[66.92.1.200]
Just out of curiosity...is this the AM Seeking Non-AF board or is it the AM Seeking WF board?? I'm just wondering b/c it seems like everyone's comments are directed at WFs when they speak of non-AF and there are plenty of other women from other races that are attracted to AMs. Unfortunately, I'm beginning to get the impression that the men on this board are only attracted to WFs. If that's the case, then it should be titled differently. Aren't there any men in here that are attracted to Black, Latin or Mixed females?? Or is it all about the WFs??? I hope not!
PS...A couple of posts that made me think this way are from "NotConfusedAsianDude" and "trowa in montreal" plus a few others I have seen posts from in the past.
Not Wanting to be Left Out!! :-)
Tuesday, September 03, 2002 at 21:30:37 (PDT)
[63.233.24.4]
I think that anyone who feels a need to parade their b/f or g/f in front of others in order to elicit a jealous response is suffering from insecurity. It's kind of sad. Does anyone ever see this behavior with AM/WF couples or only AF/WM couples?
"Anyhow, I'm far more occupied with the numerous glances from WFs than anything else =) .. At the end of the day, who cares? I think just being yourself is important and subsequently WFs notice such personality traits."
Very well said! I also think just being yourself is important. Being comfortable and confident with who you are is very attractive. It's much healthier to focus on yourself and what you have to offer than on who other people are dating.
curious girl
Tuesday, September 03, 2002 at 11:19:32 (PDT)
[206.34.216.7]
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