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ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
AA MEN SEEK OUT NON-ASIAN WOMEN
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:38:55 AM)
sian women are only interested in non-Asian men and don't give Asian men the time of day. That's the reason cited by many AA men for dating and marrying non-Asians. A minority of AA men say they simply find non-Asian women more physically attractive or more appealing in terms of personality, values and interests.
The new pairing?
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Whatever the reasons, the rates at which young Asian men are dating and marrying non-Asian women are quickly approaching the rates at which Asian women are outdating and outmarrying (about 38%). Some Asian women are complaining that they aren't getting a fair shake because Asian men have been brainwashed by media standards of desirability.
What are the real reasons for so many Asian men seeking out non-Asian women? How do Asian women really feel about this trend? Who benefits most from it? Will the trend continue? We want to hear your views.
This interactive article is closed to new input.
Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
Truth Hurts believes in myths.
He also believes in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny too
It happens,
Anglo? Anglo Saxon. Ok. The people in my country are way far from being Anglo Saxons. Your just flat out ignorant. Your Whitewashed, delusional and Not-Asian. Or maybe your a WASP yourself and trying to vindicate something. What a laugh.
AM who is not some Anglo Saxon
Sunday, September 08, 2002 at 10:08:31 (PDT)
[152.163.189.231]
Amused Guy and Curious Girl,
When you are in a IR relationship no matter what the racial combination of the said people involved are, it does draw stares, looks, and most of all, people in other IR relationships seem to notice other ones. You must hold your head up as there is nothing to be ashamed of for being in love with someone of a different race.
Yesterday we were at a rather large shopping mall called Dulles Towncenter and my husband actually pointed out and noticed there were a huge number of interracial couples with children, around our son's age too. We noticed because of similarities in our situations , on the outside anyways.
I think the reasons for stares run from people being curious, to people being offended. I think we are well accepted as a couple as far as where we live, however there are of course exceptions, there is always the disapproving looks and curious stares that last longer than a few seconds that are not always pleasant for our family to deal with, from both Asians and Caucasians.
I will imput that we just returned from a long trip through the South and back home to DC area, and there were many gas stations and restaurants that we got stares at. I do find myself worrying about my family's safety now alot more when traveling in areas that are known to have high racist thoughts or are "Deep South". In fact it is on my mind alot since when traveling we saw no other Asian/Caucasian couples or many IR's of any racial unions.
hannybunbun
Sunday, September 08, 2002 at 05:20:54 (PDT)
[207.172.11.148]
Truth Hurts,
True Beauty is what is on the inside of a person and not on the outside. Many people find this out after they get married and that is why the divorce rate is so high regardless of race. Just because you do not find Black women attractive does not mean that they are not. Maybe Asian females don't go after Asian men because they don't find them attractive.
Truth Hurts
Saturday, September 07, 2002 at 23:50:18 (PDT)
[67.81.178.174]
Truth Hurts: Your comments are rather ignorant and racist, but I'm not here to change your opinion, as you'll believe what you want to believe. I know of a few Asian male/Black female couples, some who are married and have kids, and the wives are not unattractive or stupid. If you like White women and are unattracted to Black women, then great for you, but there's no need to PUT DOWN Black women. That's just PATHETIC.
It Happens: I agree with you 100%. I'm not Asian nor am I White, and I've attracted my fair share of Asian men.
No Tolerance For Racism
Saturday, September 07, 2002 at 18:18:19 (PDT)
[24.100.190.15]
Hmmmm....Truth Hurts:
You are obviously the same coward that has been posting racist Hatemail to the black men and black women on both the AM/BW & AM/BM message boards. You are not so clever. I know who you are. You post the same ignoramus stuff all the time. Its predictable and stupid.
No, its not racist to have a particular preference. But purposely putting other people down in the process, whether these people are Asian,Black,White or Latino: going about it IS RACIST. Of course you are a racist because you feel that Black people are all genetically infererior (in your opinion) aesthetically and in intellect. You are a coward that hides behind various S/Ns'. In your Hatemail to me you told me that you are an AM who hates BW and BM with a passion. Your selfhatred is no better than David Duke or a KKK member. You may write the things you do as a sick joke. Or you may truly be just a sick individual. Whatever the case. What goes around comes around. You will experience whatever evil you give to others. Whether it is verbal or becomes physical. Mark my words. Because that is the way life goes. Its a sure reality.
To All the Normal INTELLIGENT Men and Women here,
You cannot kill racism. You cannot beat it with a stick. You can't win either way. So we all have to stop caring about who is racist, and what they have to say. Lets stop feeding the ridiculous TROLLS on the message boards, and go on about our business.
racism and hatred 1/2Mexican&!/2BlackGuRL
Saturday, September 07, 2002 at 15:36:32 (PDT)
[64.12.96.105]
1. The "TRUTH" is that which is considered factual -- IOW: there is no room for error. Unless you have insight into every possible angle of any situation... at best you can only give (a story -- not THE story) -- relative to your position. Personally, i can't believe anyone is in a position (relatively speaking) to comment that any particular ethnic group is superior, (relating to intelligence, looks, shape, socio-economic status). Quest: Who's opinions were tallied during the "grand calculation" that one ethnic groups was superiority over another in any area of life.
2. My decision: to learn to love myself first before seeking to love someone else. There's more to this comment than what is on the surface. For in my creation there was a (father -- man of color) and a (mother -- woman of color). So then, to love me, i must FIRST have true [caring concern/love] for men of color and woman of color! My thinking it would be the same for everyone.
3. Not to say we aren't capable of loving others outside of who we are -- but ensure you've examined your purpose of heart. Why are you wanting to be with this person -- If i'm seeking to chase a Egyptian lady because she's prettier (to me) than Indian ladies then my heart isn't right.
4. My experiences tell me this isn't a strong enough foundation for starting a lasting relationship. Especially, when one's judgement is derived from a single vantage point (world relative to me). e.g. WF are the prettiest because "Channel 0 (zero)" says so. The biggest danger in seeing things from one vantage point -- you convince yourself you are right -- while the rest of the world sees other angles... SEE what you're missing????!!!
mercy mercymcg@yahoo.com
Saturday, September 07, 2002 at 13:48:16 (PDT)
[172.170.131.251]
Curious Girl: Interesting question, are there some AM’s who date non-AF’s to get back at AF's or because they have been turned off of AF's? Yeah, I’m sure there are some that are like that, I’m also sure there are some that just want to score with a WF. But I think in general, since WF/AM relationships are much more rare, since they have to go through a lot more BS from a society that really doesn’t encourage these relationships, the pairing is typically not just a fling. In my personal experience, both sides of a non-AF/WF relationship have to be pretty committed to make things work. But AM’s being men, are not immune from just looking for a little bit of fun (as are non AF’s!)...
Growing up, I was never around Asians so while I’m very white in some ways, it wasn’t because I rejected being Asian. I admit that I probably fall into the category of preferring WF’s (and don’t get me wrong, there are some beautiful BF’s and LF’s but I don’t seem to run into them that frequently!) but being in the Bay area has exposed me to quite a few beautiful AF’s also. At this point and time with all these different races and ethnicities around me, I’m more interested in meeting a sexy, bright women with a good heart, period. I think it would be foolish of me to say, “I’m only going to date people of my race” or “I’m only going to date WF’s” or what have you. And yet, I still see a lot of that in the Bay area which is why we have the Gender Divide forum! : )) As an AM in the US, all I’ve ever wanted is a reasonably level playing field, for women not to say, “I’m not going to even consider this guy because he’s...” Too many people do that, thinking they know what they want but in reality, these people don’t have a clue. Keep your minds and your hearts open, and I think you’ll find who you’re looking for...
Ronbo (Bay Area/SF) howudoinsf@hotmail.com
Saturday, September 07, 2002 at 10:01:18 (PDT)
[12.81.64.67]
Truth Hurts,
Wow. And I thought I was the controversial type. Who are you to say that we are smarter, and prettier than black women? Okay. Sometimes I have run into trouble with Asian and Black Women. But I definitely don't go around feeling like I am better than them. When I look at Halle Berry or Lucy Liu? I would die for those gorgeous exotic looks. I don't really have black friends or anything, but I know there are some smarter than me.
Listen,
I wanna apologize to Not Wanting to Be Left OUt, and to Curious Girl and Joy. I hope I didn't sound as bad as Truth Hurts. Reading that garbage made me really think. I truly mean it. I hope you guys can forgive me. If not, that alright. I just want you to know that I am sorry for anything I may have said that was rude. I lash out alot at people when I am upset and maybe its not such a good thing. I really don't want to be in the same weak little category as Truth Hurts.
Kathleen
Saturday, September 07, 2002 at 06:00:21 (PDT)
[152.163.189.231]
just commenting... avg height for asian males sure isn't 5'6" these days. I myself am 5'8" and taller than my old man and my male cousins all get to 5'10" to 6'. It's the milk. heheheh
abc
Saturday, September 07, 2002 at 00:36:03 (PDT)
[65.184.91.9]
Even if every AF in the country was single, I wouldn't date one. I'm attracted to WF primarily. I've never gone out with an AF and in my entire life have probably only seen half-a-dozen or so that were even somewhat attractive to me.
So, I'm one AM that definitely doesn't date WF to slight AF, having never been rejected by an AF or felt that they were being taken away from me.
On another note, I've never noticed the AF parading her WM in front of me, probably because I don't look at people I'm not attracted to and that includes AF and WM.
S.U.A.G.
Saturday, September 07, 2002 at 00:08:39 (PDT)
[12.221.106.26]
Truth Hurts,
Have you looked at the interracial relationship board for Asian Men and Black women? Sure looks like there are plenty of Asian men attracted to Black women to me.
Joy
Friday, September 06, 2002 at 19:39:33 (PDT)
[218.44.178.60]
Kathleen,
I like you, you make me laugh, really. Can you tell me where my "angry and hostile attitude" was in my post? I could have sworn I was having a discussion, but I guess you must be an expert at decoding subliminal messages, so I'm sure the FBI would hire you in a minute. ((^o^)) "ha, ha, ha!"
Joy
Friday, September 06, 2002 at 18:55:52 (PDT)
[218.44.178.60]
"Truth Hurts", you can't be serious. Have you been watching tennis? Have you seen Serena Williams in that black leather outfit? That ass? If you can look at that and not be turned on, then you are a racist idiot. Do us a favor and just go away. We are trying to improve the AM image.
"It happens", I couldn't have said it better myself. There are beauties everywhere in different ethnicities.
"Just Rats", just because one moron acts like that, you think that all AMs are seeking revenge on WM/AF couples? With that kind of paranoid reasoning, the only man you'll ever be with IS your gay WM friend.
P.S. Why does the guy in the picture [above] look so gay? If you want to change the AM image, try picking an Asian that doesn't look like fairy.
Yellow Submarine, 23
Friday, September 06, 2002 at 16:08:56 (PDT)
[64.216.219.237]
Some AFs with WMs are jokes:
Your story cracked me up! It was great! It's just too bad that certain AF give all others such a bad name. What are you gonna do right? Just like your life and be the best person you can and try and live a happy life.
NYC Asian Man
Friday, September 06, 2002 at 14:49:56 (PDT)
[24.90.169.63]
"Black women arent' as pretty or smart as White women. Gotta face the facts"
Truth Hurts-racist
Whomever wrote this was with the intention of blatantly being a racist. Preference is preference, that is fine. Why insult? I have so far seen so many Asian Women insulted, and now Black Women too. That is disgusting. I have a white Jewish American mother. And I have a Black American father. I sometimes get mistaken for being itallian or mexican. So, Does this make me only half smart and pretty? Since my mother is white Jewish American? Or perhaps since I look less Black American then I guess that would make me smart and prettier? What a statement for someone to make. Whether this person is white or asian, they have serious issues. It sounds like a supremacist's comment. It is profound how these types of people are always frequenting message boards when it is about interracial relationships. Why don't these people just take themselves to the KKK forums where their digusting views would be more welcome. Whomever wrote this, I sincerely hope that you are not an ethnic minority, because if you are...then you are someone who is a disgrace to your culture and community. I don't know what Asian culture considers to be a Black Woman really. But I have two parents of two different ethnicities and nationalities. I also speak 6 languages fluently. I have found many Asian Men very attracted to me physically. I have a longterm relationship with a man who happens to be Asian. When I showed him the comment made by "Truth Hurts" he really had a good laugh over it.
Mia
Friday, September 06, 2002 at 14:36:29 (PDT)
[205.188.208.43]
I am an AM and I generally find two types of WFs highly attractive.
Brunettes with razor straight silky hair and slightly bronzed skin, a la Shiri Appleby from the TV Series "Roswell". What a total hottie.
Nordic blonde types. Well, enough guys have yapped about blondes, so I'll stop there. But I am more attracted to a sultry brunette than a blonde.
I luv WF
Friday, September 06, 2002 at 14:31:25 (PDT)
[128.253.186.46]
5'6 is average for AM... I guess you're like 30 years old? 5'10 is the average for younger Asians these days.
wtf?
Friday, September 06, 2002 at 13:33:29 (PDT)
[128.61.67.29]
I'm a Black girl who looks like Pocahontas (yes, how she looks in the cartoon movie, that's really the most realistic description I can give of a popular person/image). When my AM approached me, he thought I was Indian, but when I told him otherwise, he did not have a problem as he had dated Black before, as well as Latina, and White (mostly the Greek/Italian-type).
Anyway, about dating AW, he says he never really had the desire, and does find other ethnic women more attractive than AW, but that's not to say that he would not have dated an attractive AW, because I think he would. He's a Hapa, and very very handsome, so he has never had problems getting any dates.
But, he does think it's quite silly the way sooooo many AW go for White guys, and White guys only. I think he wishes they would at least go for more of a variety of races, because by consistenly going for White, it makes them look very brainwashed and self-hating... these are his words, not mine, but I think I agree :)
LuckyLady
Friday, September 06, 2002 at 08:31:11 (PDT)
[165.134.91.59]
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