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ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
AA MEN SEEK OUT NON-ASIAN WOMEN
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:38:55 AM)
sian women are only interested in non-Asian men and don't give Asian men the time of day. That's the reason cited by many AA men for dating and marrying non-Asians. A minority of AA men say they simply find non-Asian women more physically attractive or more appealing in terms of personality, values and interests.
The new pairing?
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Whatever the reasons, the rates at which young Asian men are dating and marrying non-Asian women are quickly approaching the rates at which Asian women are outdating and outmarrying (about 38%). Some Asian women are complaining that they aren't getting a fair shake because Asian men have been brainwashed by media standards of desirability.
What are the real reasons for so many Asian men seeking out non-Asian women? How do Asian women really feel about this trend? Who benefits most from it? Will the trend continue? We want to hear your views.
This interactive article is closed to new input.
Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
I agree there are sellouts in every race. There are always going to be people that deep down inside that hate what they are. The sad thing is, these people make the mistake of having children. People who distribute self hate should not be allowed to reproduce. It only populates the earth with more of these zombies walking around with Severus Fryus of the Brainus
(born with a natural lobotomy)
Rat Fink Abubu
Sunday, September 15, 2002 at 07:38:05 (PDT)
[152.163.189.233]
Hmm. Is it average for an Asian?
You know what? It is probably extremely difficult to find out, because the number of Asians on the continent is so low..
B/C I am more inclined to think the average is my height at least, since most Asians, who are probably Chinese/Korean are around my height 5'9" and above and below.. but there are *many* above.
Some waay above, and it's not very rare.
How do I know they're Chinese/Korean? One, because of looks.
Hahaha, yes. It is not the important factor, however, because the important factors are:
1] I hear them speaking Chinese or Korean.
2] I am at a gathering of Chinese or Korean.
lol
I only have much experience, or, comparatively more experience, with these brothers, unfortunately, so can't comment on the rest of yas ;)
PS yes I have been extremely sleep deprived over the past week and a half so forgive me if I seem stoned or whatnot
Captain of the Stars
Sunday, September 15, 2002 at 02:29:32 (PDT)
[63.162.229.2]
Asian Brother,
I agree. You guys don't know what you're missing. I dated an East Indian girl and she was an extremely wonderful partner. Perfect in just about every sense (looks, brains, also very caring).
Have any of you guys notice that CNN's Rudi Bhaktiar (or whatever) is one hot Persian kitty.
This is how I feel (AM),
I agree with some of your points. Yes, white girls are easier going and less maintenance. I don't know if they're as untouchable as you might think.
Kind of odd, my selfish reason for dating non-AF is to say "F*** You" to asian female society. It's like an added bonus. Not only do I like non-AFs more, but I get to flip AFs the one finger salute too. Truthfully, I only get kicks when a AF/WM-BM-etc couple are present. I guess it's different strokes for different folks.
Anyway, you have interesting views.
huu76
Saturday, September 14, 2002 at 20:48:46 (PDT)
[64.231.98.171]
Candy Lips,
I disagree. For one thing, most Chinese men in the USA agree that Latinas are the most beautiful. We have a connection with them in that many of us are not too far removed from the immigrant experiences and both groups are family oriented.
We like Middle Eastern and Hindu women too, but they rarely "date out." I find the most connection with them because they are also an Eastern people and they think like us in many ways too. We usually attend the same schools, colleges and work in the same places as these people.
We are not all that crazy for blondes. Many homely-looking girls are blondes.
I like non-WF and non-AF
Saturday, September 14, 2002 at 18:25:35 (PDT)
[64.130.235.33]
The bottom line is that when two mature people connect, they create their own world for a while - race will not be an issue.
I know because I am an Hispanic woman who fell madly in love with an AM.
The outcome? when we met, I was married - and still am. I had to break it off (provoked by something he did, but ultimately because of my situation), but it's been over a year and I miss him terribly.
Only Love is Real
Saturday, September 14, 2002 at 06:38:33 (PDT)
[208.63.251.146]
This Is How I Feel (AM) said, "I think half white half black women are very sexy".
Maybe I'm reading into this too much, but it's almost like saying that the white in them makes them more beautiful, than other BFs, in some kinda way. Are you not attracted to darker skinned Black women? I'm not trying to start any trouble, I wanna know what AMs think. What about Naomi Campbell, India Arie, Lauryn Hill, Tatyana Ali, Roshumba Williams, or Kelly from Destiny's Child? Do AMs find them to be ugly or something? Again, I don't want to cause trouble or ill feelings, but I am curious. The obsession that AMs have over White women is alarming & scary. I mean it's like we're at AM/WF Couples poll part II! Do AMs want to truly be with non-AFs in general or do they just want to be with WFs & nothing else?
Sammi
Friday, September 13, 2002 at 16:59:53 (PDT)
[64.216.218.30]
lucky lady:
i understaand it was may be one of your reckless posts that you didn't seem to think before saying. What i was wondering was actually why you feel it necessary to point out the fact that your b/f think aw are unactractive and many chose to date Wm only. now that your tone changed a lot but i was fed up by the previous post. you said ' i think i agree'blah blah. i think bringing up something like that is pointless, unless...you like what he said about AWs. it was clear you enjoyed saying what you said in that post. A lot of Afs are quite gorgeous and not sellout.
but it's Ok now. i appreciate your new post.
Cali girl:
get your point. also, i think some AF going out w/ white wouldn't qualify as sellout either. why would a wm or wf hook up w/ asian or black is nver considered a sellout while the situation is reversed at other race people? it's unfair. i just want lucky lady to have a more profound insight into the sellout matter. a black or white female may accuse asian women as sellout for dying their hair while it's the same thing they do.
justanother AF
Friday, September 13, 2002 at 16:16:00 (PDT)
[203.162.120.75]
Candy Lips:
You wrote:
"I don't really think that it's racism because I see Asian men look at other non-AFs (apart from Whites) all the time, but they are too busy trying to get "revenge". "
It's not really like that. Honest. Seriously I've seen so many ugly white guys with AFs, it's funny. We're not trying to get revenge. I could care less honestly. Personally I get much more than my share of female attention, including black girls, etc. It's just that many of these loser AF talk about WM as they were gods, and then you meet their lame boyfriend, who otherwise would not be able to get a date. :) You just have to laugh. We're just pointing out the obvious. And you simply do not see AF with really dorky BM.
NYC AM
Friday, September 13, 2002 at 12:56:22 (PDT)
[206.100.103.66]
Someone wrote
"Dating a white woman is my way of saying "F*** you!" to white society."
That is so rude. Hopefully the next time it happens the lady will spend the evening watching white guys and leave you in the cold.
It'd be really cool for her to start criticizing your outfit and then argue against every issue you bring up.
Political Observer
Friday, September 13, 2002 at 12:55:58 (PDT)
[167.230.38.7]
This Is How I Feel,
You said in the post from 9-12-02:
"Dating a White woman is my way of saying 'F*** You' to White society"
I want to thank you for being honest. There are a lot of AM, on here, that could get Tony awards for tap dancing around the truth. You want to get back at WMs (you said it yourself). I'll bet my life that half the guys on here feel the same way and don't have the meat 'n' potatoes to admit it.
You Got Balls
Candy Lips
Friday, September 13, 2002 at 11:14:22 (PDT)
[64.216.219.39]
I remember having heard a Japanese immigrant living in Kazakhstan said once: "There were no other Japanese in my district..." So he married a white-skinned Russian woman. There are also lots of similar examples (including people whom I personally know) which explain the outmarriage of AMs realistically.
When I was younger my mother repeatedly told me to behave like a white who has accidentally become a bit "too dark" and marry a typical white woman. As a result of this sort of experience I believed I would automatically gain a higher social rank if I would marry a white woman. My mother's reitinerated words "Give them a chance" had a certain impact on my psyche. She also argued in a typically Christian way, emphasizing that I would become isolated if I didn't marry a white woman.
rare stuff
Friday, September 13, 2002 at 10:10:05 (PDT)
[193.159.24.116]
justanother AF
From your post stating: " I don’t think MANY asian women are sellouts and brainwashed as you claim. There are sellouts in every group, in blacks as well. There are black female who dye their hair and bleech their skin"
I just read your post and I agree with you. However, if you are also going to point out that there are "sell outs" in every race, I think you left out the obvious fact that many, if not most, white men and women tan to become darker than they naturally are. They also get colagen injections to make their lips seem more full...which is ironic because that used to be the very thing they used to mock blacks about, their larger lips. Now they're trying to copy those too! Not saying I have anything against whites but I think some things don't qualify as "selling out". Just because someone dyes their hair or tans or whatever, doesn't necessarily mean they are suffering from self-hatred. They just may see something that they feel would make them look better...no matter what race is born with that feature.
CaliGirl
Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 20:58:49 (PDT)
[63.233.27.82]
PhD...
You may want to see my post from Sept. 3. You'll need to go back about 5 pages but I think you'll find it interesting!!
Not Wanting 2 be left out
Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 20:48:52 (PDT)
[63.233.27.82]
"Are their only White and Asian girls on this planet? Maybe if you would open your narrow or racist mind a bit or two, you might be surprised there are many non-Asian and non-white women that may be interested in you."
An interesting observation. Many Asian Males haven't even considered your suggestions. Well I for one, would like to give it a try. I think we should discuss the finer points over dinner.
Asian Brother
Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 19:15:23 (PDT)
[152.163.189.233]
Hey NYC man,
I'm sorry that you have to put up with so much crap from AF. I am an AF myself but I would never disrespect an AM. Don't worry, we're not all sellouts! :)
Bonkers(aka AA) scarygreengiant@yahoo.com
Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 16:23:46 (PDT)
[134.126.204.202]
PhD,
Excellent points. I do think that many Asian men are too obssessed about white women. But therein lies my attraction to them. On top of their being very beautiful, society tells me that white women are 'untouchable', that they are the enigmatic entities that are beyond my reach. Remember that human beings always want what they cannot have.
I do want to add, however, that I have dated non-Asians that weren't white. One Indian woman and one Hispanic woman. I think half white half black women are very sexy. If a good catch came along, I would definately try to kick some game, you know? I'm a man. But I also wanted to stress that one of my main reasons for being attracted to white women is that they are a 'challenge' to me, not in a personal sense (I get white girls checking me out all the time, I do date them occaisionally), but in a societal sense. Not sure if that makes sense to you, but I guess I can describe it like this:
Dating a white woman is my way of saying "F*** you!" to white society.
Dating white women is also an expression of my individuality. I feel free, I feel like I can be just an individual if I'm with a non-Asian, free of my racial stigma. I guess it's sort of a temporary escape from my reality.
Those are my selfish personal reasons for being attracted to white women. There are cons and pros of dating every race, for example:
Dating Asian women makes me feel in touch with my culture and traditions, and I feel a sense of solidarity with them. But dating them also makes me feel bound down by racial lines.
Dating white women makes me stand out, and lets face it, they are a status symbol. Asians think I have mad charm and game if I'm with a white girl, and at the same time, its an act of defiance against white men. They are also very low maintenence, easy going, and genuine. I love that. But sometimes they are ignorant about certain things, and can be shallow and insensitive.
Dating black women DEFINATELY makes me stand out =). As a young person who strongly feels the need to stand out as an individual, this is great. They are sensitive, genuine, and sweet. On the negative side, they can be slightly narrow minded, at least in terms of seeing the big picture. I feel that black folks generally tend to view the world solely through their African American existence. But Afro-Americans who have travelled abroad can be more open-minded.
This is how I feel (AM)
Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 15:38:35 (PDT)
[128.253.186.46]
NYC Asian Man,
When I said I don't speak for all Asian men, it was in response to the Tooth Fairy's suggestion that I would tell my kids that no Asian man would find them attractive.
The whole point is that some Asian guys, like me, are just more attracted to WF. We're not trying to get back at AF nor are we going after WF because we have low self-esteem.
Also, I would not date a WF simply because she's white. She also has to be attractive and not be annoying.
You claim that I have "negative sentiments towards Asians." Please provide some evidence. The Tooth Fairy would like you to believe that but it's simply not true. According to you, an AM is a sellout if he's not equally attracted to AF.
It's AM like me who don't get bent out of shape by AF/WM couples because we know we can date WF and because we're not interested in AF, it's no loss to us if they date non-AM.
S.U.A.G.
Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 14:47:08 (PDT)
[12.221.106.26]
PhD,
That goes back to Asian men trying to get back at AF/WM couples with WFs. There are tons of beautiful Hispanic, Black, and Middle Eastern women who would date AMs. AMs give them no attention because they have an agenda. They are trying to keep score. Also, why do you think they always bash the WMs (calling them fat, blad-headed, Asiaphiles). I don't really think that it's racism because I see Asian men look at other non-AFs (apart from Whites) all the time, but they are too busy trying to get "revenge".
Candy Lips
Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 14:04:11 (PDT)
[64.216.219.11]
Just Another AF,
I'm not sure if all those responses for me were really from you (or imposter), but I understand your point and really, I put women first, no matter their race. So, I have nothing against you or other AF. My man does not bash AF. I said he doesn't understand why so many AW that we see out, are overwhelmingly choosing WM; some choosing WM over AM in a heart beat, without even a thought.
Look, forget the Pocahontas thing! I think she's pretty. I think I'm pretty, but obviously I look different than the cartoon character, in person. I cannot give another look of another BF that could compare to mine, maybe Nia Long, but I'm lighter than Nia Long. But, I am not here to argue about whether or not Pocahontas is beautiful.
And, really, I'm not here to argue. I respect you as a woman first; I think women have to stick together. My AF friends are good to me and I'm good to them. Some were raised in their native countries and still struggle with expressing themselves, as is the norm in America, and I often help them with that, so I am not offended by someone thinking I don't like AF, because I know that is not true.
PhD,
I wouldn't concern myself with where the AM's dating concentration is. Any AM you would want in your life, is an open-minded one; one who is not bound by what society tells him he should like and find beauty in, but makes his own decisions, and has his own interests. So, if you are finding that their concentration is not on you, and ONLY on WW, I think it says quite enough about that AM, and you shouldn't find him interesting anyway, in my opinion.
LuckyLady
Thursday, September 12, 2002 at 11:34:03 (PDT)
[165.134.91.59]
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