Asian Air Imagemap

GOLDSEA | ASIAMS.NET | ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES

AA MEN SEEK OUT NON-ASIAN WOMEN
(Updated Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:38:55 AM)

sian women are only interested in non-Asian men and don't give Asian men the time of day. That's the reason cited by many AA men for dating and marrying non-Asians. A minority of AA men say they simply find non-Asian women more physically attractive or more appealing in terms of personality, values and interests.
IR Couple
The new pairing?
Whatever the reasons, the rates at which young Asian men are dating and marrying non-Asian women are quickly approaching the rates at which Asian women are outdating and outmarrying (about 38%). Some Asian women are complaining that they aren't getting a fair shake because Asian men have been brainwashed by media standards of desirability.

     What are the real reasons for so many Asian men seeking out non-Asian women? How do Asian women really feel about this trend? Who benefits most from it? Will the trend continue? We want to hear your views.

This interactive article is closed to new input.
Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.

Asian American Videos


Films & Movies Channel


Humor Channel


Identity Channel


Vocals & Music Channel


Makeup & Hair Channel


Intercultural Channel

CONTACT US | ADVERTISING INFO

© 1996-2013 Asian Media Group Inc
No part of the contents of this site may be reproduced without prior written permission.

WHAT YOU SAY

[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
After reading a lot of the posts about AFs marrying out and AMs marrying in and how AMs are the best lol :) This is what I have to say:

It's not the Asian culture that tells the AFs to marry WMs. That I can guarantee 20000.999991% lol. It's the society around us that make AFs think that Gods (probably started during the wars where White soldiers came to party there way through the war, just kidding all wars suck). So this mentality has passed on to the weaker generations of AFs. I mean parents that teach and force their children to marry WMs are probably either really retarded or have really low self esteem. And it's usually the (weak generation) mom's that do that because most Dad's, well at least the ones i know don't really encourage it and don't really pay attention. The society tells us that if you wanna be in you gotta be part of the white people. I'm not saying this to the smart enough and proud AFs out there, but to the ones that know what I'm saying already but won't say it.
Another thing it's not that they feel some sever inferiority complex but because the "society" oh sorry, i mean "white society" that tells them so.

AMs like myself, are encouraged and sometimes forced to marry AFs. That's the way it is. Because mostly AMs if following the tradition "should" stay with their parents for a certain time after marriage as for the AFs they're free to go not because it's the "you're not my daughter type of thing" (we're not dogs you know!) but because in the Asian culture and tradition the AFs go and stay with the AMs in his family or the AFs come into the AMs family.

And there are no tendacies between which Asian country outmarries the most. Who the hell came up with that! that's called generalizing to pal!

As for AMs being the best :) I personally agree lol. But I also believe that everyone is equal! Peace out guys!
Astralius    Wednesday, September 18, 2002 at 07:53:57 (PDT)    [213.41.186.112]

just a correction...in the previous post , i said

'i do know a lot of Koreans (probably most or the majority of them) and chinese who would disown their children for outmarrying. '

actually wat i was saying is most of the koreans i know wouldn't agrre w/ their kids outmarrying. I 'm afraid my words would be miscontrued as a generalization
JJH    Wednesday, September 18, 2002 at 01:34:35 (PDT)    [203.162.132.187]
Asian brother: "It's really sad that so many AFs can only get these dorks. I was in SF pho shop the other night and saw an AF paying the tab for the dinner...."
-------------
Yes, it is kind of sad. I was walking in Time Square over the weekend and found some Asian girl staring at me. I was with my girlfriend, who's white and about 10x better looking than her. This Asian girl was with this White guy who's about 6 inches shorter and looked like a freakshow. She was no prize herself. But it's still sad. I caught her looking at me and she was walking towards us, and later by us. I noticed that she must have been around 6 inches shorter than me and smaller than my girl who's around 5'8". I'm around 6. She looked away quickly when I saw her staring in embarassment and actually tried to hide her midget boyfriend it seems. I didn't think much of it until I read your post. I'm not bragging but honestly she looked like she was drooling when she saw me, or maybe it was the fact I was with my girl, dont know. She would never be my type anyways. In a way I'm glad she's got someone. But why must so many AF settle for substandard Whites, I don't know. It's just sad, very sad. I just hope we AA as a group will improve our self-esteems in time.

I'm not trying to get even with AF with my posts or with my gf, really. I guess I need to make a point. I know that many AF wants and still wants to date a guy like me...even some sellouts. And for a while I only wanted an AF, but certainly not anymore, even if things don't work out with my current gf. I just feel my experiences need to be shared for what it's worth. It really does fit the bill on this forum and others here it seems. It's just too bad.
NYC AM    Tuesday, September 17, 2002 at 22:40:58 (PDT)    [24.90.169.63]
Okay, something happened today that made me laughed, yet left me kinda pissed. If you couldn't tell by my previous post, I am fairly dark skinned. I don't have the "African Features", but my hair is naturally kinky. Nappy if you will. Well, I recently got my hair relaxed. I mean it is bone-straight. I have talked to AMs (as friends) before, but I was just getting all this attention. One Asian guy was really cool & even gave my his ph#, but before I left he said something to the effect of, "I've never talked to an Indian girl before". W.T.F??? I have never had Asian guys just FLOCK to me like that before, yet suddenly when I look like one of those dark-skinned Middle Eastern women, they take more notice. Why? What's the difference between a Black girl & a dark-skinned M.E. girl???
Sammi    Tuesday, September 17, 2002 at 22:38:41 (PDT)    [64.216.218.119]
2 Kool

I know what you mean and I hate that. I think what happens is that some non-AFs ruin it for the rest of us. However, I'm sure there are plenty of WFs who don't give AMs a chance but yet the AM seem to keep giving the WFs a chance. I have a couple of girlfriends that are Latina and they used to tease me a lot about dating Asian guys but never said a word when I dated a BM, WM or LM. Their reasoning was because they just don't find AM attractive. These same girls all have different tastes though...some won't date BM or WM, while some won't date LM and they, themselves are Latin. It's all just a matter of individual preference. But then again, I have a couple of BF friends who date all races and find AM VERY attractive but are discouraged b/c AM won't approach them. These are very attractive girls too. I think it just boils down to the fact that if a guy is attracted to a girl, no matter what race, he should try to talk to her. If she shoots him down, he may not even know why but it may not be racism. That is, unless, she just comes right out and tells him it's b/c he's Asian. I can't imagine most girls would do that, not even my Latina friends. One big problem is that AM happen to be shier than WM, BM and LM in general and I think that's why they don't get more women. I don't think it's b/c they aren't attractive...they're just not as aggressive as most American women are used to men being. I've met some AM while I'm out and they'll speak but when I speak back, they just smile and it's like they are scared to say anything else. Why are so many of them so shy?
CaliGirl    Tuesday, September 17, 2002 at 22:12:07 (PDT)    [63.233.90.222]
Does anyone think that men of color (AM or BM) only want WFs because they think that WFs are weak? I hear a lot of other women talking about how "If you tell a White girl to jump they say how high" or "Black/Asian women are overbearing and bitchy". Do men really see WFs this way?
Sad 'N' Afraid    Tuesday, September 17, 2002 at 22:10:08 (PDT)    [64.216.218.119]
Rare Stuff

That is soooo sad! I'm serious. Almost brought a tear to my eye. I hate to hear stuff like that. It's almost like she's ashamed of herself and doesn't want you to feel that shame. Unfortunately it seems like she doesn't understand that you are proud of what you are, even if she isn't. What city do you live in? Are there many Asians where you live?? Does she also get upset if you have Asian friends? What's the purpose of a white daughter-in-law? Is it so your children will look more white? If so, then she's also saying she doesn't like your looks, right? I know it's a lot of questions, I'm just amazed at the self-hatred I hear about on this website!
CaliGirl    Tuesday, September 17, 2002 at 22:00:22 (PDT)    [63.233.90.222]
Saying It Like It Is

Uh, ok, I was with you all the way up to the point that you said Asian men are the best men on this earth. Gotta differ with you there. No particular group of men are better than the other... just different. I date all races and have met nice guys and jerks in ALL of them. I know you're probably just kidding but I just wanted you to get a female's point of view before the ego blows out of proportion. :-)
OH, also...the reason white guys don't say as much about black men, at least in my opinion, is for a couple of reasons. For one, I think they're used to it now. And don't think WMs are all happy w/it, just like all BFs aren't happy about it either. I think people just don't talk about it as much since it's so common. Secondly, many of these same WM that would say something, tend to be intimidated by BM due to the stereotype that BM have a more aggressive nature and would more than likely beat them down if they said anything to them. Also, I think more WM and BM have each other as friends so they're more accepting of it. I know many BM and WM that don't have any Asian friends so it's easier for them to be mean to Asians. Finally, typically BM are bigger than Asian men and that's another reason why WM probably feel ok to persecute AM but won't say anything to a BM. Again, just my thoughts.
CaliGirl    Tuesday, September 17, 2002 at 21:53:13 (PDT)    [63.233.90.222]
TTBUCWW

That's pretty sad. From your post, it sounds like you and your friends are very shallow and superficial. You only like the way Latinas look when they're young? I imagine JJH will be all over this one...since you're generalizing. JJH, where are you?? :-) Anyway, sounds like you're just using Latinas for a piece which makes you less of a man. If that's your feeling, it doesn't sound like you respect women of ANY race.
CaliGirl    Tuesday, September 17, 2002 at 21:47:31 (PDT)    [63.233.90.222]
JJH

Thanks for the explanation! I understand it's only your point of view, but it does shed some light on the subject. One thing you said did bring up another question...sorry. You said that the sons are expected to carry on the purity of the race. Aren't daughters capable of this same feat? If they marry an Asian man, then that keeps it pure in the parents minds as well. Do they just not care at all about their daughters? Is that the bigger picture??

One last thing...you said, "And let me tell you, you are showing your ignorance and dumbness by making that shallow generalization." I feel that's a little uncalled for. Yes, I may be ignorant but not dumb. I'm ignorant about certain cultural things b/c I'm not Asian. I would be expected to be ignorant on such things until I learn, which, by the way, is EXACTLY why I'm asking. If I chose to remain ignorant, THAT would be dumb. I don't say that every person of a particular race does something but I may say "in general" b/c if that's what I see then to me it is "in general" from my point of view. Don't be so quick to judge! Again, thanks for your input.

PS...I have heard from a couple of Asians that I know make the comment about their own people being so eager to be accepted by whites. That's one source for me thinking it's such a large number.

CaliGirl    Tuesday, September 17, 2002 at 21:42:53 (PDT)    [63.233.90.222]
Ladies and Gentlmen,
One of my buddy online I have is a white women friend. She is 6 foot tall. I know her for a while now. One time over the summer, i send her my picture and she think i was cute. lol =) And just last week I instant message her and ask her a question. What I asked her was, "if she like Asain guys"? And what she said to me was that, she does. I then ask her what she likes about us, and she told me that there is an air about [us] that she likes, then she said, we are mysterious and tend to keep things to ourselves. She also said she likes our skin and eyes. The reason why I asked is b/c I want to know how non-asain think about us. And I am surprise to hear her say such good things about us.
I'm 2 sexy for my eyes    Tuesday, September 17, 2002 at 20:09:26 (PDT)    [162.83.151.218]
In my humble opinion, I think why asain likes to be around white is b/c they are, in general, more civilized, peaceful, respectful, and polite. But not all are.

Another thing is that I know everyone have preference, I was wondering, if anyone here has any preference.
what goes up must [u know    Tuesday, September 17, 2002 at 19:11:44 (PDT)    [162.83.151.218]
TTBUCW,

I has to do with diet. There is a big focus on beef in Mexican diet.

A lot of Mexican women also become big because of child-bearing.

If you look at the Asian women who have more than 3 children, they will look just as big.

I still like Latina women's face more than white.

The lighter Latinas (Mediterranean looking) have a very sophisticated features.

The mextiza Latinas look feintly Asian and is very yummy looking as well.

You hardly find ugly Latinas, even the fat ones sometimes look good.
so hot    Tuesday, September 17, 2002 at 18:58:23 (PDT)    [64.130.235.33]
To my brothers,
Life is life, everyone has one and is living one. It don't matter what others does as long as your happy with you own. Be cool with who you are, and enjoy life to it's fullest. There are a lot of things in our society that we do not like and like it to change but as individual we can't do that. Yes, we can make a difference but to make a big difference, we need a lot of people. People shape society. Remember my brother, live life to it's fullest.

All you guys here are great individuals, remember each and every one of you here are special and unique. No one can replace you. If a women don't want you, then who cares. There are plenty of fishes in the sea, you'll just catch one some day. It'll happens, i promise. Remember, my brother, you are special and there is only one of you in this whole wide world. Remember this for i am your master.
life to it's fullest    Tuesday, September 17, 2002 at 18:36:01 (PDT)    [162.83.151.218]
"now that your tone changed a lot but i was fed up by the previous post. you said ' i think i agree'blah blah."
"but it's Ok now. i appreciate your new post." Just another AF

Uh, well, I don't appreciate your new post. Did I ever say that I take back the fact that I agree with my man? No, I did not retract that. I just said I have AF friends and do not hate them like you tried to imply, so don't get besides yourself. If you didn't like the fact that I agree with my man, you can keep on not liking it, cause my point still stands.
LuckyLady    Tuesday, September 17, 2002 at 12:04:22 (PDT)    [165.134.91.59]
Why should it matter what AM do interracially? Most will either go for Whites or other Asian ethnicities. They might make allowances for some Hispanics if they look white, thus why should we care about their obvious white fixations?

There are other more interesting Hispanic, Black and ethnic whites who would be more than willing to date Black women. And you don't have to look Blasian, biracial, or like Beyonce to grab their attention. Phd was right, most are too limited in their outlook.

So it's silly to moan about their lack of interest or hesitancy because of whatever, familial, social, personal prejuidices, and cultural hangups they have. It would be healthier to cut them loose and indulge in better fare.
look elsewhere    Tuesday, September 17, 2002 at 11:38:52 (PDT)    [65.114.179.225]
Third Eye,
I totally agree with you on this one [10X more, big difference].
2 hot 2 cool off    Tuesday, September 17, 2002 at 11:13:41 (PDT)    [162.83.151.218]
"Sometimes I have sex with WFs, but in the back of my mind I know some are dirty. It would probably take another millenium before WFs figure out that AMs are the best man on earth."

Why so long? Doesn't your own experience suggest that reality is already here?
Deng Ai    Tuesday, September 17, 2002 at 11:03:19 (PDT)    [198.6.73.7]
Saying It Like It Is,
Well said, I think most asain men in general agree with most of what you wrote. Ask huu76 for some advice on this subject. He seems to know this topic well.
So huu76,
what do you think about this man's post? He stated that most white women are racist and won't give asain men the time of day and yet go for, well read his post and you'll know what i'm talking about. Even though asain men in general are better boyfriends. On the contrary to his opinion, huu76, your opinion is that you thinks wf, in general, think that asain men are more loyal to af and it is why they don't make any moves or have any interest in us. You also think that b/c we also don't make any moves, so our chances of getting a white women are much more slim. But this is just silly thinking and it's not proven true. Anyway... Huu76, if your attracted to non-aw [wf, i guess] then it will be sad to think that non-asain women don't give you that attraction back. This will make you heart broken, right?
2 kool    Tuesday, September 17, 2002 at 10:40:04 (PDT)    [162.83.151.218]
JJH's Response to: Caligirl

Caligirl wrote:
"Why does it seem like Asians are about the only culture that is so hell bent on getting their children (especially daughters) to date Whites when other races don't seem to care as much?? Do they feel some severe inferiority complex as a race or something?"

JJH's response:
"And let me tell you, you are showing your ignorance and dumbness by making that shallow generalization"

What's wrong with Caligirl's statement? This is the whole point and the topics of discussion, the reason why we're having this discussion at all. Why knock someone who chooses to address the issue? Why do associate Asians closer to whites than Black/Latinos etc? I don't agree with you. What you say makes no point whatsoever other than reinforcing what she's stating. I think you're the igorant one, or perhaps you have issues with being Asian.
NYC Asian guy    Tuesday, September 17, 2002 at 10:12:23 (PDT)    [208.252.30.254]
In general [<---this key word here] white women are pretty. They have nice eyes and hair. But there are also beautiful latin and black female too.
2 hot to cool off    Tuesday, September 17, 2002 at 06:16:59 (PDT)    [162.83.151.218]
Alpha,
Maybe you should read more and see my views on AF attractiveness.
It's too bad their not as nice on the inside as they are on the outside.

I guess only your circle of friends are mature and have opinions that count. The rest who don't agree don't count right? Ass!
Alpha. Hah, maybe Omega male.

To all hung up on revenge,
If you can date who you like and at the same time stick it to the man/bitch, then why not. If you can have it both ways, then by all means, go for it.

I wouldn't date some non-AF I didn't like just to make a point. That's unfair and shows low self-esteem. Suddenly a lot of images come to mind.
huu76    Tuesday, September 17, 2002 at 01:32:59 (PDT)    [64.231.98.171]
Azn-Pride

You are so silly!! I'm lost! I'm not sure if I know what message you're sending. hehe Is it the whole uproar that we were all linked into a while back with you-know-who?? :-) If YES, then I do get it! haha I'm curious, do you live in LA??
CaliGirl    Monday, September 16, 2002 at 21:44:03 (PDT)    [63.233.24.115]
Valley Chinese Dude

That's really sad to hear...about her having a fetish. Hope you don't think all BFs are like that b/c we aren't. Don't give up on them. :-) While I don't necessarily have a preference for AM, I do like them. But I like them as much as I like Black, White and Latin men. I believe in equal opportunity dating and don't think of any group of men as any better than the other...just different! But you know what they say...variety is the spice of life!! haha
CaliGirl    Monday, September 16, 2002 at 21:37:48 (PDT)    [63.233.24.115]
Light Green Eyes,
Please chill with the BS you are talking. There will never be a majority of biracial over monoracial blacks or whites. There are 10 times more monoracial groups of black or white people than biracial people through the world over. So please stop the nonsense.
Third Eye    Monday, September 16, 2002 at 21:24:04 (PDT)    [66.105.208.217]
Cali girl:

You posted:

"Why does it seem like Asians are about the only culture that is so hell bent on getting their children (especially daughters) to date Whites when other races don't seem to care as much?? Do they feel some severe inferiority complex as a race or something?"

Although the question is not directed at me, my speculation is that may be in terms of culture / social status, some asians feel close to whites more so than latinas and blacks do whites. On the other hands, those people want to totallly assimilate to mainstream society. Think about it. If something is very out of reach to you sometimes you won’t try to get it. But the more may be closer the more you want to assimilate. I may not put it very well though but that’s how things are. as for the reason ther are people who want their daughter to outmarry rather than their sons, i think it has to do w / the traditonal asin mentality. son is considered to be responsible for continuing the line of ancestry, while daughters after getting married don't live w/ parents anymore
so there's a saying like daughter is not really our kid. It just displays a mentality that want to retain the pureness of race, not exactly a sellout attitude. if the parents are really sellout, they would want their son to outmarry equally as they their daughters.

i do know a lot of Koreans (probably most or the majority of them) and chinese who would disown their children for outmarrying. I think it’s bad…but that’s another story. From my experience, the asians who are more likely to go out of their way to outmarry tend to be filippino, (not in big number though)..

And let me tell you, you are showing your ignorance and dumbness by making that shallow generalization.
JJH    Monday, September 16, 2002 at 21:20:57 (PDT)    [203.162.19.135]
I'm Chinese/Vietnamese and dated Asian Women and Latinas. I gotta admit Latin Women are physically better looking when they're YOUNG. Most of my boyz agree, and most of them date Latinas. If you live in Monterey Park (Los Angeles), you know what I mean. There is nothing but Asians and Mexicans (real fine ones!) here. But boy, once they pop out that first kid, it's down hill from there. You look at a girl's mother, and that's what the girl will look like in about 20 years.

However, I prefer Asian Women, at least we have something in common to talk about (yeah right!). Talk??? Let's get down to business! Break me off some!

Seriously I do prefer Asian Women, just can't put it in words.

Late!
Straight-up Asians!
TTBUCWW    Monday, September 16, 2002 at 20:56:06 (PDT)    [66.214.177.69]
This is how I feel,

I agree with you on your statements. I generally believe white people, especially white women, are very messed up in the head. Most white women are racist, but then they would go for black guys. WFs would even go for dirt poor black guys to be cool. It's funny, WMs will get mad at the few AMs that are with WFs, but WMs won't do s*** with all the numerous BM/WF couples. WMs worry about AMs taking higher paying jobs, but these WMs will overlook all those BMs that make millions of dollars in sports in addition to having trophy white wives. Sometimes I have sex with WFs, but in the back of my mind I know some are dirty. It would probably take another millenium before WFs figure out that AMs are the best man on earth.
Saying It Like It Is    Monday, September 16, 2002 at 19:58:38 (PDT)    [66.19.193.42]
wow, I never saw so much on a simple topic before. me myself being a mixed person ( korean/black and hispanic) this is all very intresting to me. I look black but I have long straight hair. if I want it curly that means lots of moose lolz. my last bf was Korean. I think AM date outside the race for a number of reasons. but the most important is that they like the person. SO it doesn't matter which race they are right?
Twonie AnGeLsReLm8318@hotmail.com    Monday, September 16, 2002 at 18:26:07 (PDT)    [68.101.189.168]
I would like to thank everyone for their feedback (yes, you too "Alpha"). It's cool!!! However, "Light_Green_eyes", what did your comment have to do with my question???
Sammi    Monday, September 16, 2002 at 17:31:12 (PDT)    [64.216.223.145]
CaliGirl,

it's not just a racial but likewise cultural issue. Marrying into the society "above" oneself. The task for AMs in such cases like mine is always to learn how to think/feel the own thoughts/emotions and remain independant.

Yes, she has married a white guy and tried to disguise me as a hapa with the intention to get a white daughter-in-law. Luckily we don't understand each other, so she has only few influence on me and none on my taste.
rare stuff    Monday, September 16, 2002 at 15:40:18 (PDT)    [193.159.24.22]
"I find it kind of sad that so many AMs seem to consider dating only WFs if they decide to date outside of their race and they don't seem to give a lot of other deserving races a chance."

Hey, have you ever think about how we [AM] might feel? Maybe....just maybe, we might feel the same way about you girls, not giving us all a chance too. I also think that the reason why wf came up so many times on this board is also b/c there are many that are also here.
2 kool    Monday, September 16, 2002 at 14:53:52 (PDT)    [162.83.151.218]
Someone (yea you!) wrote,
"I guess then, by your reasoning, ALL women -- black, Asian, white, hispanic -- should go to white guys then, huh? WHATEVER."

Alright go ahead and get a dose of the clap and we'll see who'll mouth off then. You are a real funny guy. Have fun with your next trick buddy.
Political Observer    Monday, September 16, 2002 at 11:47:50 (PDT)    [167.230.38.7]

NEWEST COMMENTS | EARLIER COMMENTS