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ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
AA MEN SEEK OUT NON-ASIAN WOMEN
(Updated
Wednesday, Jan 22, 2025, 06:38:55 AM)
sian women are only interested in non-Asian men and don't give Asian men the time of day. That's the reason cited by many AA men for dating and marrying non-Asians. A minority of AA men say they simply find non-Asian women more physically attractive or more appealing in terms of personality, values and interests.
The new pairing?
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Whatever the reasons, the rates at which young Asian men are dating and marrying non-Asian women are quickly approaching the rates at which Asian women are outdating and outmarrying (about 38%). Some Asian women are complaining that they aren't getting a fair shake because Asian men have been brainwashed by media standards of desirability.
What are the real reasons for so many Asian men seeking out non-Asian women? How do Asian women really feel about this trend? Who benefits most from it? Will the trend continue? We want to hear your views.
This interactive article is closed to new input.
Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
so hot,
"You hardly find ugly Latinas, even the fat ones sometimes look good."
This, I hope you know is fetishism talking. it's all good.
Chilling.................
Thursday, September 19, 2002 at 05:29:19 (PDT)
[162.83.147.128]
You know what asain really thinks about white women? We think that most of them are sluts. The way they talk, act, dress and other ways tells us. When one person said dirty, it sound almost right. People in general wants stability when they get commited. That is why some asain men rather go else where or within [hmm]. But..asain women, as for now, are not like that. We don't know yet, what the future holds for them. People in large numbers shapes society.
P.S my intuiation tells me that now, here on this board, there are more black women. But there are some watch birds out there. =)
Mr.clean Mr.clean
Thursday, September 19, 2002 at 05:20:56 (PDT)
[162.83.147.128]
why are asian brothas scared to ask out women of other races? im pinoy and lived in hawaii and portland but living in new zealand for now. Over here its samoan and other polynesian guys who seem to get the most attention from women of other races. maybe its cos there the biggest or play rugby and good at sports but samoan guys dont seem all that different in features from some of us asians but they still get admirers from white women and women of other races. my friend a samoan trainee theatre medical technician here who is engaged wit a black woman from america they make a very awesome young couple and other samoan friends married white women. i know two tongan guys who married mixed race south african women. samoan males here remind me of black males in the states when it comes to interacial marriages/dating but samoan women are not as downplayed as black women or asian guys in that dept. i believe that us pinoys are the ones who outdate the most from the asian male population and i just cant seem why society cant get over this mental block about asian guys. youth culture these days has the hip hop and sports as the popular themes and i believe thats why asian men dont get much attention. c'mon brothas lets break this wall down. if i see an attractive woman from another race and she catches my attention you damn sure i will give it a try. theres no hurt in trying brothas.
Pinoy from Hawaii
Thursday, September 19, 2002 at 00:53:35 (PDT)
[210.54.70.36]
NYC Asian guy
BLESS YOU!! Thanks for your post to JJH. You see I posted another one afterwards. And you're right. I'm asking b/c I DON'T know. All I've heard from AFs I have met is how they don't like AM and the few AM I know say their sisters are told to date and marry WM, while they are told to date and marry AF. I just didn't understand this coming from one's own parents. I guess it could explain why the AFs who only want WM think that way. I personally am very fond of AM and can't understand why any Asian parent WOULDN'T want her daughter to marry an AM...seems like she'd be in great hands to me. I know I am! My boyfriend is Chinese and I'm mixed black, white and Native American. I wouldn't trade him for the world!! :-)
Thanks again, NYC Asian guy. I'm learning!!
CaliGirl
Wednesday, September 18, 2002 at 22:48:06 (PDT)
[63.233.26.179]
look elsewhere
Awesome post!! You made a lot of sense and I highly agree!
CaliGirl
Wednesday, September 18, 2002 at 22:41:12 (PDT)
[63.233.26.179]
what goes up must [u know
"In my humble opinion, I think why asain likes to be around white is b/c they are, in general, more civilized, peaceful, respectful, and polite."
As opposed to what? What race can you not say this same thing about? Following that reasoning, shouldn't Asians like ALL races? I don't know any race of people you can't say this about. Especially the 2 dominant minorities in this country...blacks and latins. I've found both groups to be very friendly and less prejudice than most whites as a whole. I think the Asians who think this are barking up the wrong tree.
CaliGirl
Wednesday, September 18, 2002 at 22:40:34 (PDT)
[63.233.26.179]
I'm 2 sexy for my eyes
Quick question...what does her height have anything to do with what you are asking?? Just wondering. Seems like a lot of AM on this board keep bringing up their non-AF's heights. Is that supposed to make AF's jealous or something? I don't understand. Some of the AM on here seem obsessed w/female's height. Any AF's on here care to comment??
You asked other non-Asians opinions about what she said...well, for starters just be careful she doesn't have an Asian fetish. She likes your skin and eyes? Hmmm...not sure what to make of that. I guess it's supposed to be a compliment. Why were you surprised to hear her say such good things? Why would you even ask her if she likes Asian guys? If you bring it up, it usually means you have an issue w/it. You don't have a White fetish goin' on, do you? I guess my only comment is that I hate when a guy of another race asks me if I like his race. It's a little immature. If he's interested, he should just talk to me the same way he would women of his own race. I happen to date all races so if I don't like him, it's usually b/c of his approach or b/c I find him unattractive, not b/c of his race.
CaliGirl
Wednesday, September 18, 2002 at 22:34:21 (PDT)
[63.233.26.179]
Sad 'N' Afraid
Although I'm not a WF, I think I can somewhat answer that for you. I do think many BMs (can't really speak for the AMs) have come to generalize that WFs are mentally weak. Have you ever heard the term of the "strong black woman"? It refers to BF strength of character and typically she doesn't let men run over her and she's also known not so much for being bitchy as you said but for being very independent and emotionally strong. I don't know...perhaps a product of dealing not only with racism but sexism too all her life. I can't speak for AFs either b/c I'm not one. I do have some BM relatives and friends that have all joked about "playing in the snow" as they put it. They say they date WFs strictly for the fact that they will do anything when it comes to the bedroom and that they are extremely easy and take a lot of crap from guys. I personally have some WF friends who are like this. What I've noticed is that it doesn't seem to be the fact that all WFs are like this but I have noticed a lot of WFs that strictly date BM ARE like this, my girlfriends included. Again, I don't really know why...perhaps just them being naive, I guess. But YES, I have heard this from almost every BM I know that dates WFs. I also notice when I see them out that they are very obvious when it comes to checking out other women in front of their girl. I see it almost daily.
CaliGirl
Wednesday, September 18, 2002 at 22:28:43 (PDT)
[63.233.26.179]
CaliGirl,
where I live (rural Europe) there's the only chance to marry at all equal to marrying out. My mother would also be disappointed if I even hung around with a Asian person. "Good" Asian males marry out (-at least that's what she thinks). My mother (if I were a Middle Easterner I would punish her therefore...) would like to have blond (!) grandchildren. Fairly impossible because I'm probably "too" pure-bred for that.
Another reason for a white daughter-in-law could be herself as an individual. I don't know about my mother, she's an extreme liar in any case at all. But she's very complicated. So I guess I cannot find any sensible reason for marrying into white society, except MONEY. My mother is talking about money, day in, day out. (So much that avarage WM would vomit on her, too!) Since I'm "too" Asian for many jobs I might be endangered by financial problems. This way, I could easily get from racist (my mother) to another (employer). So until a couple of years ago I was still looking out for a rich WF...then I realized I had been thinking like a hooker though I have always remained the same celibate, even during those times.
Physically, there's no doubt, I've always been attracted to women with normal (darker) skin. And I was never ashamed of admitting this fact.
rare stuff
Wednesday, September 18, 2002 at 17:29:54 (PDT)
[62.158.89.162]
Sad 'N' Afraid,
Yup, ur absolutely correct. We, men of colour (or whatever), do in fact see WF as weak and disposable. Don't be sad, that's just the way it is.... and don't let the boogie man get you.
boo.
kimchi d'evil
Wednesday, September 18, 2002 at 16:52:31 (PDT)
[205.188.209.140]
I have big sideburns and a killer fro.
My pants are too big and I like plaid.
I'm so skinny and pale that I look like an AIDS patient.
Who am I?
2kool,
I think you should go back and read my posts. Chance of AM/WF(in this case) getting together is only lower because it occurs less frequently. I don't think our success rate is worse, as a matter of fact, I think it's higher. If AM are like me, it just takes more work from the other side (subtle hints are no good if they're extended to every guy in sight) to get us going. But when even the faintest interest is reserved only for us, then watch out, cause here we come.
Alpha,
I think you have selective reading when it comes to my posts.
huu76
Wednesday, September 18, 2002 at 15:41:03 (PDT)
[64.231.98.171]
CaliGirl,
First i want to say thanks for your info. You seems to state as if all or most white females don't give asain guys a chance and that most BF or all will. From what I've seen and experience, i am going to say that this is not the case. I think there is a few from every group that are fond of us. [just as if there are some AM that are fond of women from every group] Before, I came to this site, I had no idea black female would even consider to date or is interested in us. So big surprise when I see a few that are.
In my days, I've see white female/asain male couple from times to time. And yes, I agree, there are racist white women out there. I have encounter some in my early days. There are also some racist Latin female too. Growing up, I remember them making racist remark, such as, "chink chunk" to asain people walking down the street in their neighborhood. In general, if asain go to black or spanish neighborhood they tend to get pick on. That is why most choose not to live there. But.........I think in general, non-asain [women] these days are more open minded then they were, say, five years ago. I happy to see that society is at least, changing for the better.
"If she shoots him down, he may not even know why but it may not be racism."
No, he is not that stupid or naive to not at least have some clue. In his mind he may think that it is racism but it reality it may not be. He don't know the girls so he can't make valid judgement and say that she is racist. But if she knows the girls from a distant [not exactly close friends] he would have some idea by the way she treat others.
"That is, unless, she just comes right out and tells him it's b/c he's Asian."
Mature one's won't do that, ignorant and dum ones will.
You, for example is a great person and I don't think you are racist. Sometime you might get offended by some of our post and wrote ugly [bad word, i mean it in a lesser degree] one's back in defense but that's ok. We can all understand how human behave in certain situation.
"I've met some AM while I'm out and they'll speak but when I speak back, they just smile and it's like they are scared to say anything else. Why are so many of them so shy?"
Ya, I see. I sometime feel this way myself. I don't know exactly why and it's hard to explain it. It's just the way most of us feel inside our hearts. We have inner feeling that I can't even describe.It may not even be the culture, b/c i am pretty americanize and have an outgoing, enthusiastic personality and yet sometime i'm still like that.
p.s to all you women out there. Society is in no one-man's controll so we can't blame the good ones out there. And I have nothing against any one.
2 kool
Wednesday, September 18, 2002 at 14:14:24 (PDT)
[205.232.102.18]
'lucky lady:
i don't think another AF imply you hate AF. but id o agree there was a change in your tone.
however why do you have to even bring it up that your b/f think afs are unattractive and a lot are sellout?
and you seem satisfied about it.
unless you have problems w/ AFs to a certain extent.
no one focce anyone to chage point of view. it's just sad to see ther are people narrowminded and shallow to look inside the matter.
JJH
Wednesday, September 18, 2002 at 13:51:28 (PDT)
[61.11.245.6]
2kool,
I need to have a heart before it can break. I'm rather ruthless and cruel when I need to be.
If a girl's not interested, why pursue her (no means no right?). It's a waste of time. Even if you like her and she doesn't. You might as well bang your head against a tree for a while.
If a girl is interested and shows you might have a chance, then chase her if you're interested.
Yes, WF probably think we're all these stupid toadies that only have eyes for AFs.
Why does non-AF automatically mean WF? non-AF is everthing but AF. IF you've read my posts before, I've dated non-AF who aren't white.
huu76
Wednesday, September 18, 2002 at 11:10:35 (PDT)
[207.164.88.163]
Why is everyone here so ashamed of having fetish. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. If i have fetish, I am going to be proud of it. Why not, what is wrong with it? I just don't understand. I also know everyone here has preference, and some of you ladies and gem here are to embarass to reveal your fetisism.
If someone has perference for X race and are also attracted to other race. So does this make them fetisism to x race? Just wondering.
2 wrong don't make a left
Wednesday, September 18, 2002 at 10:28:06 (PDT)
[205.232.102.18]
"I'm not trying to get even with AF with my posts or with my gf, really. I guess I need to make a point. I know that many AF wants and still wants to date a guy like me" -- NYC AM
Get off your high horse, buddy.
Sounds like you're going out with a White woman for shock factor.
If not, why would you care how another Asian girl (or any girl for that matter) was looking at you?
You say you're trying not to get even with AFs, but it sure points otherwise.
I feel sorry for your girlfriend.
NYC AM 2
Wednesday, September 18, 2002 at 08:56:05 (PDT)
[64.130.204.9]
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