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GOLDSEA |
ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
AA MEN SEEK OUT NON-ASIAN WOMEN
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 06:02:32 PM)
sian women are only interested in non-Asian men and don't give Asian men the time of day. That's the reason cited by many AA men for dating and marrying non-Asians. A minority of AA men say they simply find non-Asian women more physically attractive or more appealing in terms of personality, values and interests.
The new pairing?
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Whatever the reasons, the rates at which young Asian men are dating and marrying non-Asian women are quickly approaching the rates at which Asian women are outdating and outmarrying (about 38%). Some Asian women are complaining that they aren't getting a fair shake because Asian men have been brainwashed by media standards of desirability.
What are the real reasons for so many Asian men seeking out non-Asian women? How do Asian women really feel about this trend? Who benefits most from it? Will the trend continue? We want to hear your views.
This interactive article is closed to new input.
Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
NYC Asian guy:
well...Cali girl is not an AM. And she didn't really mention Af in the first place.
i think what you said was pretty beyond the point, bud. I don't think cali girl target specifically AF for being sellout by dating AM. She's talking about asians who suffer from inferiority complex as a race and asians are the only race hell bent on outmarrying. This is where I have to disagree. Because there are other reasons for outmarrying other than selling out. OF course i'm not going to deny the sellout in the asian community. But I don't like other people to have misunderstanding for asians.
I look at a larger isuue.I don't like it when people portray us asians as puppy dogs who have to kiss up to whites and in the same time harbor severe self-hatred. I want them to respect asians as much as I respect other race people.
korean guy
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 05:40:24 (PDT)
[203.162.19.44]
basics,
I am not sure what 2kool actually wrote, but I assume he was saying that Latina women are more open to dating Asian men compared to other races women which is also true based on my own personal experiences. They would not reject simply me because I was an Asian man (compared to white and black women).
How do you really know who and what Latinas like? Are you Latina yourself?
I don't know about stats for other states, but from the 1997 U.S. Census, 2.6% of Asian men are married to Latinas (compared to 6.6% married to white Anglo women). It is not too far behind and growing.
I know for the Chinese-American men, Mexican/Latina spouses are the third most common ones after white and Japanese-Americans. I am sure the Japanese-American men have a similar pattern. I also know a lot of Filipinos married to Mexican women.
Latinas are not any better attracted to Asian guys than they are to blacks and whites. Everyone is different and you will find some Latinas who have the open mind or even fetish for Asian men. Come out to the better neighborhoods of L.A. and find so for yourself.
too much generalizing
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 00:52:41 (PDT)
[64.130.235.33]
AF (18),
You might be right, but AMs got hormones and feelings too. Everyone would not prefer a used car over a new one.
When we want love and romance, we want it young and genuine, not because of duty and family obligations.
Asian men have been seen as toys and robots for so long. Not all of them are as docile as you imagine.
By coming to this site, I have a feeling that many young Asian guys are waking up and smelling the coffee.
They have something to offer other women (young beautiful ones) as well. And, when they do, there will be a lot of noise.
Bob
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 00:44:18 (PDT)
[64.130.235.33]
6"1 Korean guy & Get real:
I actually thought I was done posting to you as a result of your comment about my original post, BUT, I was just on another board called "Truth About Asian American Mothers" and found this post from a guy named "Asian Male with a question". If you don't believe me, feel free to visit the board yourself. I have heard this type of stuff so many times from AM and so many times from AF that they don't like AMs that it's hard to keep your eyes closed to it and not question it. Sorry, but all this negativity from Asian mothers that I've heard about is kind of hard to ignore. Here's part of his post...
"My mother is totally pro-White-washing. she creeps like a dog in front of all people whom she considers to be powerful, especially whites. She hates Asian males and all people who are neither White nor White-washed. Although I'm an adult, now, she is still remarkably shocked when she watches me reading in a book about Asian people."
CaliGirl
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 00:41:55 (PDT)
[63.233.25.140]
NYC Asian Guy
"I just choose to live my life and be happy. I'm no sellout, but I'm no puppy dog for the AF either. I respect others who respect themselves. But there are many AF and some AM who do not. Hopefully we can all recognize this fact and work to improve the self-image of those people and future generations."
All I can say to this is THANK YOU!!! :-) Thank you for being at least one person who isn't offended by reality. I have nothing against Asians but for some reason it seems whenever I hit a sensitive nerve, I get brutally attacked. I guess I should just put on those blinders that 6"1 Korean guy and some others are already wearing and naively believe the world is perfect and no one sells out or is ashamed of what or who they are. This happens in every race but I only asked about Asians here since it's an AA site. If it was a black site or white site, I would mention it about them as well. He is taking it so personally that I can't help but think it hit just a little too close to home for him.
CaliGirl
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 00:19:11 (PDT)
[63.233.25.140]
Astralius
You said, "CaliGirl, I think you're right. What's with the whites are more civilized blah blah blah... I can't believe my fellow Asians or any other race would make that assumption. Check out the white pot heads lol or skin heads."
Thank you! It's funny how some people here applaud me when I defend AM but when I try to defend BF or LF, I get attacked! Ironically, it seems to be from the same AM who only seem to have eyes for WFs. They look for every opportunity to defend their honor and claim how much better and "civilized" they act compared to AF, BF and LF. How quickly these same men forget that there are WF in the KKK and there are plenty of skinheads around that would just as soon shoot them as see them w/a white woman. But yet they claim how "civilized" white people are???? I'm appauled! I guess that's easy to forget when you are blinded by love! haha Anyway, just a note, I have plenty of white friends along w/black and latin. I don't dislike white people. I'm mixed, I don't hate whites. However, I'm not naive either and I do recognize that not all white people are civilized. Just look at history! Look at the south! I have far more white family members that don't accept me being mixed than I do black family members. I also have had many bi-racial and multi-racial friends who have had problems with white family members and not so much w/the blacks. So for these AM who keep claiming white women are better and are more civil just make me laugh b/c I know better. I had WF friends who dated BM but referred to them as N***ERS behind their backs and didn't think I'd care since I was part white and not a man. But I did care, which is why I didn't remain friends w/these women.
CaliGirl
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 00:09:20 (PDT)
[63.233.25.140]
"Sometimes people date because they want to expeience novelty."
Precisely why I want to date mostly non-asians. I do not want to date an Asian woman seriously until I have had the chance to experience women of many different cultures and backgrounds. This includes women from abroad. I want to move to Europe for about 3 years after I save up some money. So unless I find a real catch, no Asian women for me. They are for marriage. Well, not if they're unworthy though. If I found a great non-AF marriage candidate, I would gladly take the plunge.
All 4 non-AF
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 00:05:26 (PDT)
[128.253.186.46]
Get real
"Asians in general are much more peaceful, civil, ambitious and respectful than other races."
Sorry but I have to disagree. While I'm sure there are many Asians who fit this bill, there are also many who don't. Some of the rudest people I have had the misfortune to come across have been Asian. While I don't think ALL Asians are rude, I have noticed that the ones that have been extremely rude are typically older and seem to be either FOBs or have a really heavy accent and don't speak English very well. Don't know if this is just a coincidence or what. When you say "That's why we outperform all other races in schools, less likely to be involved in criminal activites.", you can also attribute this to the low number of Asians in America. I'm sure China, Korea, Japan, etc. aren't crime free.
CaliGirl
Monday, September 23, 2002 at 23:59:45 (PDT)
[63.233.25.140]
6'1 korean guy
Good grief!! I see I need to hop back into Goldsea to defend myself yet again! You stated "I think cali gil overgeneralize and overexxagerate when implying asians suffer a SEVERE INFERIORITY COMPLEX as a race. If she has to learn because she 'doesn't understand' such a simle fact then i think she' s pretty dumb." 1st of all, you show your immaturity by name calling (error #1). And if you paid attn to my post, you'd notice I was more or less "asking" if Asians were experiencing this. And I didn't have a clue that this was even an issue in Asian circles until I began hearing it from Asians themselves so don't attack me, attack your sisters and brothers!! I'm only going off of what they've told me. So who's dumb?? Also, you asked the question, "wat about those black guys who kiss WW's ass? could blacks be categorized as having extrmely low self esteem as a race." Uh, were we discussing black men w/WW? Didn't think so. But ok, if you feel the need to bring that up...OK. Yes, there ARE plenty of BM who do chase WW just like many WW chase BM. Happy? I'm open enough to admit what I see, unlike you. I happen to know for a fact that there are many BM who date WW b/c they either think they are easy, think it improves their spot in society (dating up), have low self-esteem and a self-hate problem, and b/c some of them happen to date BFs along w/WFs and may be w/a WF b/c they just genuinely like that person. So what's your argument now? I didn't realize that by asking a question, a person could get so riled! Hmmm...perhaps I hit just a little too close to home for you. Did I strike a nerve there? Got a WF fetish, do ya? lol
You then go on to attack Mr. Clean by saying, "If anything, i've seen a lot of slutty blacks. (it is not a generaliztion, i'm speaking from my experince)." Wow! I'd sure like to know how you found all these BFs that are slutty and you say you know from experience. Sounds like you have a SERIOUS dislike for BFs or blacks in general. Well, hey, I've heard that a lot about Koreans although I can't say from personal experience since I don't know any Koreans. I have heard from other Asians that it seems many Koreans don't like Black people. What's up w/that? If that's true, I guess that's why you are attacking BFs so much but I don't understand how you could know from personal experience when it's HIGHLY unlikely you've even dated any, given your obvious distaste for them.
PS...Uh, you also show major immaturity by attacking NY Asian Guy just b/c he happen to agree w/me. I guess people aren't allowed to agree w/others either anymore, huh?
CaliGirl
Monday, September 23, 2002 at 23:43:48 (PDT)
[63.233.25.140]
Deng Ai
You asked, "Hmmm... interesting... why indeed. So, what did you expect the men to do? Stalk the women?"
To answer this, no, I certainly wouldn't expect them to stalk my friends. That would be crazy. I don't believe I in any way insinuated that either. What I'm saying (& I think you could have figured this out) is that when my friends decided not to give it up so quickly, the men became disinterested. Now, sure there could have been other reasons but what they thought and I thought is that they were only after 1 thing anyway and when they didn't get it, they lost interest. You didn't figure that out??
Telling it like it is!
Monday, September 23, 2002 at 23:16:45 (PDT)
[63.233.25.140]
"Many AF date WM but end up marrying AM. That's what matters."
Yeah ok. I guess the AM should be proud to be some AF's last option, like when she gets too old to get a WM. Or when the WM dumps her b/c he's had his fun and whats something serious with a WF. Yeah. That's what matters alright. That is actually the type of AF the AM should stay clear of, far far away. It's kind of like being a backup..picked to go in when all else fails. The AM is much better off finding a woman who will consider him his BEST and NOT his FINAL option.
This AM has woken up!
Monday, September 23, 2002 at 21:47:03 (PDT)
[24.90.169.63]
Proud to be asian(AM):
Nice to see a feedback like yours from an asian guy!
"IR dating is totally normal. I think it's great that both sides are doing it. However, putting down your culture and the people in your culture is sell-out!"
I’m so tired of all the criticism being targeted at AF. I've seen AF who would not date Am but there might be more WF who wouldn’t date AM. Some AM (just a few sellout) make it look like WF are saint to them. Pathetic. These people are the true puppy dogs.
Although it is true that the outmarriage rate create the gender divide, I think besides the fact that asians are the least minority (which i think is a significant factor,only a handful of asians around overwhelmed by whites for you to pick a date), the attitude of a number of anti-AF AM contribute to that GD. Which woman would go for guys hostile to them and who hold negative view about them?The tendency in this forum is to corelate IR with ‘sellout’.Not everyone who date outside their race is a sellout.What is wrong w/ IR anyway? As long as the person don’t forget his/ her heritage and appreciate asian culture, there’s no reason to categorze all of the AF who are w/ non-AM as sellout.
I don’t understand this. I've gone to other forums and I don't really see many AM who dislike and diss AF like in here.
Nyc asian guy:
The problem w/ it is Cali girl see asians as the ‘ONLY’ race w/ severe inferiority complex as a race but i don’t think she necessarily singled out AF. My objective is not mainly to defend AF but…As an Asian (not as an AF) I disagree with that. As an asian i find that comment to be off-putting. I don’t like it when I feel that someone tries to put us asians down (not that cali girl did) , or said untrue things about asians.
AF(18)
Monday, September 23, 2002 at 21:22:37 (PDT)
[61.11.245.6]
The new Miss America is very beautiful. I would like for my children to [kinda] look like that. Her father's White :-( and her mum's Black. I would like to find a BF that could have our kids come out like that except 1/2 Asian! ha ha ha
It's funny that BFs are saying that AMs only want WFs. Whenever I see a BF with someone IR, it's usually a White guy. If more BFs off this website show us some attention on the streets, AMs would indeed respond.
P.S. It doesn't matter if you are light or dark.
Back To The Streets
Monday, September 23, 2002 at 17:21:40 (PDT)
[64.216.222.103]
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