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ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
AA MEN SEEK OUT NON-ASIAN WOMEN
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 06:02:26 PM)
sian women are only interested in non-Asian men and don't give Asian men the time of day. That's the reason cited by many AA men for dating and marrying non-Asians. A minority of AA men say they simply find non-Asian women more physically attractive or more appealing in terms of personality, values and interests.
The new pairing?
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Whatever the reasons, the rates at which young Asian men are dating and marrying non-Asian women are quickly approaching the rates at which Asian women are outdating and outmarrying (about 38%). Some Asian women are complaining that they aren't getting a fair shake because Asian men have been brainwashed by media standards of desirability.
What are the real reasons for so many Asian men seeking out non-Asian women? How do Asian women really feel about this trend? Who benefits most from it? Will the trend continue? We want to hear your views.
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Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
I hope everyone here knows that this is asian men/non-asian women board. Everyone here should focus more on these two groups of people, and forget the rest. Please talk about other stuff on other appropriate forum, this is not the place for it.
Latin women do, in general, preffer or like asian men. B/c I remember one of my friend was a latin women and she told me that some of her friend who, by the way are asian, told her that she looks asian. [she also told me she likes asian guys] And she is in no way at all asian. Not one asian blood in her. She btw hang out with asian, like, and look like us. And most of them, latin are like this [no problem with hanging out with us]. They are in general very friendly toward asian men. And the irony is that, there are also many asian men that also look, speak, act like them. Speak, meanning they speak spanish and fluently too.
latin women all the way
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 21:54:53 (PDT)
[162.83.147.128]
[Good point. This is a discussion about AM with non-Asian women. All this extraneous jawing ends here. --Ed]
[Get real
"Asians in general are much more peaceful, civil, ambitious and respectful than other races."
Sorry but I have to disagree
[NYC Asian Guy
"I just choose to live my life and be happy. I'm no sellout, but I'm no puppy dog for the AF either. I respect others who respect themselves. But there are many AF and some AM who do not. Hopefully we can all recognize this fact and work to improve the self-image of those people and future generations."
All I can say to this is THANK YOU!!! :-) Thank you for being at least one person who isn't offended by reality.]
cali gril,
So are you offended by the reality 'asians in general are more peaceful, ambitious, civilized, respectful"?
(*the key word is IN GENERAL)
If you disagree w/ it because you think it is stupid generaliztion I think you should do the same w/ the generalization about asians having too much self hate. If the self hatred in asians is just too blatant impossible not to ignore, other positive aspects of us must be equally noticable ,if not more and no question about it . Every race has their strenghth and weakness. If you focus only on the weakness and emphasize on it while neglecting other positive aspects, you are biased towads that specific race. It would be pathetic to see only the negative things while being blind to the vantage one race has. You feel free to genralize asains when it comes to ugly characteristics while being hard pressed to do the same when it comes to their positive traits.
What would you think if I state: "blacks commit so much crime that it would be hard not to ignore."?
I hope you don't take my reply as an attack. I only want peace.
AF(18)
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 21:34:54 (PDT)
[61.11.245.6]
too much generalizing,
From experience, I agree with you 100%....... well almost. Where I lived, I've also find a lot of Latin women that are open minded to Asian men, in general. The great thing about it, aside from them being open minded, is that they are very, extreamly beautiful and sexy. They are hot hot hot...... whooooo hooo. Can't get over how hot latin women can beee....... [phrase] makes my teeth sweat just thinking about them.
AM are on a roll
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 21:15:51 (PDT)
[162.83.147.128]
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Everyone should chill out. Caligirl is a good person. Let's not all get into a little hostile over some stupid post. Just give her a chance and you'll see that she is a good person deep down. She may not be asian but she respect us a lot, in away, she is like our sister. We should give her the same respect as she does to us. If we all take a minute and think about this, she is better than most women we face, including our own women who abandon us.
Chill for a sec and think
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 20:44:59 (PDT)
[162.83.147.128]
AF(18),
"I don’t understand this. I've gone to other forums and I don't really see many AM who dislike and diss AF like in here."
Pathetic isn't the word for them. I think your giving them far to much credit. I completely agree with what your saying. Take a step back for a second and look at it this way. No matter what is being said. It's not a reflection you but on the people who are saying whatever it is they want to say. If they want to hate and hurt people that's their business. I'm definately not saying it's right but it has nothing to do with you as an individual.
Most of these people who hate only see one side of the coin. When they see a AF/WM couple they automatic draw their own conclusions and think...she's a sell-out who hates AMs as well as her own culture and he's (whatever you fill in the rest). The thing is these AMs who are hating don't know these couples. They could be the nicest people in the world and they still wouldn't care. I think that's beyond sad that people have to fall for this kind of immaturity. It seems as if they're trapped in a grade 2 kind of mentality.
Proud 2 b Azn (AM)
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 20:38:27 (PDT)
[64.228.123.99]
I just want to bring this up. There are a lot of foreigner that goes to China each year. This however, is not something new, it has happen 20 or 30 years ago. But... now it is happening much more frequent. I believe the number of foreigner in or visiting China are in the millions. There are people from countries like Africa, England, France, Russia, Italy, Norway, German etc, that goes there. The number of people from these countries that goes are on the rise; so my only conclusion is that there are also lot of interacial couples [marriage] there too.
World View
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 20:06:12 (PDT)
[162.83.147.128]
Cali girl:
**First I apologize for calling you dumb.
I don't know while you claim to have very few AF friends so why are they so open to tell you they don't like AM? Do they tell you directly or you heard it from other people. because i think its' just too stupid for a woman to say outright to someone who is not her friend that she hate people of your her race.I'm not sure what you said is the truth or not but I never think asians are the *only* race to suffer self hatred and I never have problem dating asian women.
As for your quote from the asian mother forum, I've read that sometime ago. Why don't you brigh up several ohter posts like that to back up your argument? You seem to be the type of person who would take things at face value based on not many experiences you've had w/ asians. I don't know why you always bump into the selfhate asian group, but I'm asian and I think i might know more asians than you do. I don't see that asians are the only race hell bent on outmarrying.
The topic of that forum seem to be on asian mothers hell bent on forcing their kids to date within their own race though. If this is not widespread phenomenon it wouldn't even be a topic on this forum.
If you think you are brutally attacked, then I would be sadistiscally tortured at the moment. LOL
you are oversensitive. And DON"T LIE. I didn't attack NYC Asian guy here. What you call reality (the fact that asians are the *ONLY*race to have self-hatred)need to be considered agian. How much can you *confidently* confirm it is reality?
I ask you. How much asians have you known for you to assure it is a reality? {error #1}
"While I don't think ALL Asians are rude, I have noticed that the ones that have been extremely rude are typically older and seem to be either FOBs or have a really heavy accent and don't speak English very well"
although I agree there are rude people in every race, I don't think there is a correlation btw ENglish skills and rudeness. They may be impolite and still have a hard time assimilating into american society but once they are,they will change.They might be clueless as to how to interact w/ people in a totally new enironment compared w/ their native country. But it doens't mean FOBSare less educated and more prone to swear or attack people.
"You then go on to attack Mr. Clean by saying, "If anything, i've seen a lot of slutty blacks. (it is not a generaliztion, i'm speaking from my experince)." Wow! I'd sure like to know how you found all these BFs that are slutty and you say you know from experience. Sounds like you have a SERIOUS dislike for BFs or blacks in general. "
DON"T LIE!! I didn't attack Mr. cLean.
And show me the part where I stated my 'fetish ' for white women!!
As i've said before in my previous post, I've dated women of all races and I never stated a preference for white women. I've said I like chinese, korean, hapa and persian chicks. Just because BF is not in my preference it means i have a dislike for BF? And I dated BF. If not, i wouldn't get to know those slutty BF. then agian, may be I hook up w/ the wrong group ...i don't know.It seems to me though many of the blacks women are like that, just like how you from your experience know many asians w/ self-hatred(what you call reality).What you said is ridiculous. Btw, I have the *impression* you seem hell bent on pointing out asian women are whitewashed and only want white men. WHy???...
"When you say "That's why we outperform all other races in schools, less likely to be involved in criminal activites.", you can also attribute this to the low number of Asians in America. I'm sure China, Korea, Japan, etc. aren't crime free."
What a weak argument!
In every crime statistics, they show the percentage of people who committed crime in an ethnic group, not the number of crimes committed by that group. The population of an ethnic group has nothing to do with its crime rate. Following your logic, then white would be the ethnic group that commit the highesst crime rate in America cos they are the largest group. If that is the case, its crime rate must be staggeringly higher than any other ethnic group.Blacks are the group that commit the highest crime rate. So they must be the largest group here, right? DOn't be naive! Wake up to that reality about black people.Don't be blind.(that's what You tell me to do with what you call the reality that asians are the only race to have inferiority complex). You don't erase your stereotype about asians as being self hate yet in the same time expect people to dispell the fact blacks are the largest to commit crime.
Hey, can you show me the part where I "attacked" NYC Asian guy? I just can't seem to find out instead of the post where I argue/ him and give him my opinions. Did I call his name or insult him?Is that called attack? wow...Now you may be one of the fussy, much ado about nothng women.If IJ were attacking him, I guess you are nuking me right now :p hehe
"I guess I should just put on those blinders that 6"1 Korean guy and some others are already wearing and naively believe the world is perfect and no one sells out or is ashamed of what or who they are. "
You're lying again. I know there are asians who hate themselves for who they are. But asians are not the *only *group of people to suffer sever inferiority complex as a race. Could you find where I said no one is ashamed of who they are and I state that the world is perfect? Yes it is not perfect but it is not all black /all white. It seems iyou think asians are the *only people w/ self hatred. That is not dumb, but too naive to say so.
You are so blind to reality that you see the world through generaliztion. You refuse to see reality yourself.
[I happen to know for a fact that there are many BM who date WW b/c they either think they are easy, think it improves their spot in society (dating up), have low self-esteem and a self-hate problem, and b/c some of them happen to date BFs along w/WFs and may be w/a WF b/c they just genuinely like that person. So what's your argument now? I didn't realize that by asking a question, a person could get so riled! Hmmm...perhaps I hit just a little too close to home for you. Did I strike a nerve there? Got a WF fetish, do ya? lol]
[PS...Uh, you also show major immaturity by attacking NY Asian Guy just b/c he happen to agree w/me. I guess people aren't allowed to agree w/others either anymore, huh?]
SOme of your reasoning are just hopelessly ridiculous and immature that I don't think I should bother to give a reply.Not that I can't But I don't think it's worth it.
You seem to be more articulate and made quite a few good points. But now, I'm sorry you sound like a little girl. That is why I will not argue with you anymore, baby.
6'1 korean guy
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 20:01:28 (PDT)
[61.11.245.6]
AM has woken up:
You seem to have bad experiences w/ women.... …Or you don’t get my point. I didn’t imply that ‘WM get the best and Am the rest’ as you are thinking. Many AF just don’t take relationship with WM seriously. Why you think the fact AF get married w/ AM tell you that Am is the final option? If this is the case, they wouldn’t marry AM in the first place and end up getting married w/ a white guy. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. And no, not all AF who end up getting married are old and used. If they are old it would be much easier for them to hook up w/ some loser WM than w/ an AM that surely would reject her. Lol
Hm…I’m thinking about how some AF got into a dilemma w/ dating. If she once date white then end up marrying an AM, some view them as considering Am the final option. But if she dates exclusively AM than end up marrying an AM meaning she would have to totally avoid white , she might be viewed as a racist.
All I can say is there are AF who love AM and it is real discouraging for them to witness dislike AM reserve for women of their own race, just like what some AM experience w/ Am hating AF.
All 4 non-AF:
You’re serious? I know some AM who are just like you, they date other race women but don’t think about marrying them. anyway I think this is the reason people date all other races. It is natural for us to want to know more about people of various backgrounds and cultures. But in the back of their mind some people don’t take these relationship seriously and they think people of similar background are best choice for them. Just be careful someone like Am has woken up will accuse you for considering AF as the final option.:p j/k
Bob:
Well I wouldn’t go out with any AM who think AF are used car, much less marry an Am who think settling down w/ Af is an obligation. If they don't have interest in women of their own race, what's the point in considering any relationship w/ them?
AF(18)
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 18:08:26 (PDT)
[61.11.245.6]
Cali girl:
"While I don't think ALL Asians are rude, I have noticed that the ones that have been extremely rude are typically older and seem to be either FOBs or have a really heavy accent and don't speak English very well."
FObs don't speak good english but it doesn't mean they are rude.
"you can also attribute this to the low number of Asians in America. I'm sure China, Korea, Japan, etc. aren't crime free."
CaliGirl
Of course. No country is crime free but actually the crime in those countries are ususally known to be much lower than in america and european countries.
"But ok, if you feel the need to bring that up...OK. Yes, there ARE plenty of BM who do chase WW just like many WW chase BM. Happy? I'm open enough to admit what I see, unlike you. I happen to know for a fact that there are many BM who date WW b/c they either think they are easy, think it improves their spot in society (dating up), have low self-esteem and a self-hate problem, and b/c some of them happen to date BFs along w/WFs and may be w/a WF b/c they just genuinely like that person. "
some AF go out w/ non-Am cos they genuinely like the person. So don't tell me all of them are sellouts. I've got BF friends who complain about BM selling out, just as AM do w/ AF from time to time.
If that argument works for BM it does for AF too. So no right to call both asian adn blacks self-hating people.
"Here's part of his post...
"My mother is totally pro-White-washing. she creeps like a dog in front of all people whom she considers to be powerful, especially whites. She hates Asian males and all people who are neither White nor White-washed. Although I'm an adult, now, she is still remarkably shocked when she watches me reading in a book about Asian people."
"
duh...what you are doing is ridiculous...I've read this already in the mother forum...If anything, try to post 10 similar posts , OK?Now I think may beI'm going to black website and find a comment about WF by BM w/ a white fetish to quote them here.haha
"Korean guy and some others are already wearing and naively believe the world is perfect and no one sells out or is ashamed of what or who they are. "
What you said is totally ridiculous. You are putting words into people's mouth. No ONE said that there is no one sellout or ashamed of who they are. DOn't twist the words around. Some people just reacted to the inappropriate comment made by you. I don't deny there area sellout asians but it's totally wrong to label asians as'the ONLY race to have suffer inferiority complex". Are you going to take everything at face value like that?
as far as your comment about asians are concerned, People think the probelm lies at 'asians are the *ONLY* race to have severe self hatred'.
i don't want to pick a fight,but yes,As you've said, as far as I am concerned, a nerve get wreck.
Bob:
No i didn't imply AM are docile. If AM are comforatable dating Non-AF, I don't think there is anything wrong w/ it. If one limits his choices, he refuses to get to meet a lot of great people.
I just don't think AM should accuse AF from time to time. If the're happpy w/ a non AF i 'm happy for them. But if they turn out to hate AF then they're no different tahn those sellout AF. It's not healthy to have that 'AF syndrome' where AM accuse AF as a whole after having bad experiences w/ some AFs. That whittle down the chance for other son-sellout AF to pick an AM
It is preposterous to label one group of people as having severe self-hatred, because even though thereis a number of self-hate people, it goes against human nature that people don't have love for themselves. Consciously or unconsciously, AF in general still like men of their race the best. Research found that women are attracted to men who have the same/similar body odor w/ their fathers. And women probably tend to be unconsciously attracted to the men of their race.
AF(18)
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 15:04:03 (PDT)
[61.11.245.6]
Caligirl,
That mother of the Asian guy must have been a housegirlf for some European family in her youth.
As Robert the Bruce, Kingg of Scots, said in the movie Braveheart said to his Traitor father, "My (her) hate will die with you (her)."
To hell with the Uncle Tom leeches from the old generation. We are the New Types, the proud. We are Asians. No one can keep us down.
Proud Asian Man
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 12:37:39 (PDT)
[128.253.186.46]
"These people are the true puppy dogs."
How do you know this. And what you wrote further up, is it your assumption? If you haven't notice this board is non-asian female board and asian men. Did you read the sign..........
sign on the front door
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 11:55:11 (PDT)
[162.83.147.128]
ladies and Gems,
Chill out, everyone. No more hostility and take a chill pill. Everyone in this world is great. No one is better than anyone. Have an OPEN MIND for everyone, so life can be fair. Life already is complex don't make it any worst.
Chilllll pilllll
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 11:49:45 (PDT)
[162.83.147.128]
Caligirl,
"Don't know if this is just a coincidence or what. When you say "That's why we outperform all other races in schools, less likely to be involved in criminal activites.", you can also attribute this to the low number of Asians in America. I'm sure China, Korea, Japan, etc. aren't crime free."
I don't want to start an argument and I have nothing against you. But think about it this way, look at whites in this country. I'm sure they are the group with the largest number in term of population in comparision with any other group. But.... yet they aren't more involved in crimes or have low standard in education. Infact most of them are way up there; in term of living standard. Hmmmmmmmm.....
p.s .. I'm sure China, Korea, Japan, etc. aren't crime free either. If it was it would have been perfect and human being, in general, aren't perfect.
something's not right
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 11:40:04 (PDT)
[162.83.147.128]
cali girl,
Yes I agree, I must admit once I too was a little white washed. But then I realized the only way to gain true respect is to love your roots.
Now I expect white people to kiss my ass (Just kiddin). LOL.
But its true what you say.
SOG
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 11:30:24 (PDT)
[216.239.163.156]
My fellow asian brothers,
Hey, if you guys just take a minute a think about this. There are just as many white women that chase asian men as asian men are in chasing white women. Or for that matter, black women chasing asian men as many asian men are in chasing black women, etc ,etc
Yes, Latin women included, I remember this latin women who i was working with, told me she had crush on asian men. I get along with her pretty well, she is friendly, nice, and beautiful.
I also remember myself in high school; there was a friend of mine who is only interested in black female. We'll I don't know how he is doing right now. But hey, I hope he is doing well with his women he is searching for.
Anything is possible in this world. So my fellow asian brothers, don't limit yourself in the dating game. You all can get what you want. Remember if the person is worthy [personality wise] and there is an attraction, then go for it. Don't let anything hinder you; and nothing can!!!!!!!
Follow your hearts
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 11:24:50 (PDT)
[162.83.147.128]
Ladies and Gentlemen;
I think, some of us hit some soft spots with these women on this board.
Touchy
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 10:55:19 (PDT)
[162.83.147.128]
CaliGirl wrote:
"While I don't think ALL Asians are rude, I have noticed that the ones that have been extremely rude are typically older and seem to be either FOBs or have a really heavy accent and don't speak English very well."
Well, it's true with Chinese people. I don't know about Koreans, but Japanese people are usually very courteous. That's why typically Chinese restaurants are not know for their service. This is even more severe in China. Most of the clerks that work in the stores are terribly rude, unless of course you are white, then their tune changes completely. I don't know if it is because they fawn over white people or just want to have them spend more money. Although my guess is they worship white since if you are an Asian American, they'd still treat you poorly.
"When you say "That's why we outperform all other races in schools, less likely to be involved in criminal activites.", you can also attribute this to the low number of Asians in America. I'm sure China, Korea, Japan, etc. aren't crime free."
Well, it's a fact Asians outperform other races in academics and are less likely to be involved in criminal activities. The statistics are all based on averages and medians, so the size of the Asian American population shouldn't matter.
Deng Ai
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 10:51:49 (PDT)
[198.6.73.7]
"I've seen AF who would not date Am but there might be more WF who wouldn’t date AM. Some AM (just a few sellout) make it look like WF are saint to them. Pathetic. These people are the true puppy dogs."
We'll you can also say that there are Asian men who wouldn't date asain female. But.... there might be way more white men that wouldn't date them.
But.... I do get my fair share of white females. They can be really friendly, more than most asian females I know. I personally, perfer non-asian women, just as many asian women don't perffer asian men.
face the fact
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 10:46:05 (PDT)
[162.83.147.128]
Telling it like it is,
I guess I misread your "not give it up so quickly" to mean not showing much interest. Many apologies.
Deng Ai
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 10:40:44 (PDT)
[198.6.73.7]
CaliGirl wrote:
"I had WF friends who dated BM but referred to them as N***ERS behind their backs and didn't think I'd care since I was part white and not a man. But I did care, which is why I didn't remain friends w/these women."
You know I don't think the term n***** has the same meaning it did say back in the 60s. Nowadays that term is used more as a term of endearment amongst friends more than anything else. Just like when BM talk about their bitches, I don't think they think their women are sub-human.
Heck, I have even heard many Asians refer to their other Asian friends as n***** (or n****as). I doubt white women, or any women for that matter would sleep with men whom they believe are beneath human.
Deng Ai
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 10:35:56 (PDT)
[198.6.73.7]
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