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GOLDSEA |
ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
AA MEN SEEK OUT NON-ASIAN WOMEN
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 06:02:29 PM)
sian women are only interested in non-Asian men and don't give Asian men the time of day. That's the reason cited by many AA men for dating and marrying non-Asians. A minority of AA men say they simply find non-Asian women more physically attractive or more appealing in terms of personality, values and interests.
The new pairing?
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Whatever the reasons, the rates at which young Asian men are dating and marrying non-Asian women are quickly approaching the rates at which Asian women are outdating and outmarrying (about 38%). Some Asian women are complaining that they aren't getting a fair shake because Asian men have been brainwashed by media standards of desirability.
What are the real reasons for so many Asian men seeking out non-Asian women? How do Asian women really feel about this trend? Who benefits most from it? Will the trend continue? We want to hear your views.
This interactive article is closed to new input.
Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
Thanks,
Not too sure if you're being cynical or what. But I've got a question about that comment.
Is it because WM are stronger or is it because AF are mentally weaker?
Hmmm, from my experience, I'd have to say it's the latter.
huu76
Monday, October 07, 2002 at 07:07:03 (PDT)
[64.231.98.120]
Cali girl posted:
"Thank you very much.
...
Thank again!!"
?? Not to rain on your parade or something but does the fact that AF sell out has a lot to do w/ you genuinely wanting to thank someone for pointing it out? It seems the sell out in AF has a lot to do w/ you. I 'm sure you will thank S.U.A.G for his recent post.you...well...kinda weird.
S.U.A.G:
"Most AM date WF for different reasons than AF date WM."
i don't get what you are saying. ??? are you saying their reasons are different because AM go IR partly to get back at AF...A statment like that sell us AM short. I disagree...AM go IR for the same reason WM, BM, WF, BF, AF...do. There are people who sell out and those who don't give a hoot about race. IMO the IR matter is much more simple than most people think.
"Preferring one does not mean hating the other."
no one said you particularly hate brunette or AF.
"I don't think I've accused AF of anything, except perhaps hypocrisy. "
But you're a hypocrite hahaha
An AM
Monday, October 07, 2002 at 02:59:05 (PDT)
[203.162.121.60]
To: the flip side
Not meant to catch anybody; I’m just not sure if he realized the “flip side” of his statement.
Repost
Sunday, October 06, 2002 at 22:37:00 (PDT)
[66.92.1.200]
To: CaliGirl
Your Mexican girlfriends are lying. One can always find a Mexican man who is non-possessive and have a checked ego. And when you do present a few of those to your girlfriends, your girlfriends will list some other reasons, like they speak with an accent or do not have a PhD. The only reason they won’t list – also the one that is the truth – is that they don’t like Mexican guys. There’s nothing wrong with a Mexican woman preferring non-Mexican guys. Just don’t blame all Mexican guys as if it were the guy’s fault.
Repost
Sunday, October 06, 2002 at 22:36:47 (PDT)
[66.92.1.200]
To: S.A.U.G.
Not trying to be picky here, but how valid are your statistics? You mentioned that it’s a personal study. So to get the 2% white women who seek out Asian men, your sampling must have included at least 50 white women (one of who will seek out Asian men; therefore; 1/50 = 2%). And even if you have one from your 50 sampling, that’s not a really accurate sampling. The 51st can also seek out Asian men, so your percentage will almost double – 2/51 ~ 4%.
You mentioned that there are 15% of Asian women who would absolutely not date Asian men, yet there are only 3% white women who fall into this category. You also mentioned that there are 2% white women who seek out Asian men. But I’m not sure what the percentage of Asian women is who actively seek out Asian men. You don’t think it’s zero, do you?
Kudos to you for stating your preference. If only more Asian men and Asian women who prefer non-Asian have the courage to do the same instead of blaming each other, we’d have a lot less hatred going on in our society.
Repost
Sunday, October 06, 2002 at 22:36:36 (PDT)
[66.92.1.200]
To: Deng Ai, et al
It’s not that I don’t have any scars from the type of Asian women you guys write about. You know, the ones who think Asian men are lucky to be with one of them, and they’re normally used to “better” guys. Heck, I’ve dated one; I should know first hand. But I have two choices. I can use those scars as my passage to hold onto the pain and bitterness, justifying my contempt towards all Asian women. Or I can look at those scars as a reminder what bitterness is borne from such contempt, and that I have a choice not to propagate that. I chose the latter.
If you’re sitting in a room with a bunch of Asian guys, just look to the guy on your left, then look to the guy on your right. One of them will prefer Asian women. What do you think your contempt towards Asian women will get you? What do you think your contempt towards Asian women will get for that brother of yours, the one who prefers Asian women? The hate card is easy – really easy – to play, but is it a responsible card to play?
A woman is not going to like you because you like her. You’ve got to have something that they like before they like you. Do you think contempt for Asian women is a quality that will induce liking from non-Asian women? There are so many of you who, in one breath, can condemn Asian women and turn around and idolize non-Asian women. To the non-Asian women, you’re nothing but cheap attention. All they have to do is pop into Goldsea and you’d stroke their egos.
If women don’t have to earn the privilege to be with you, then you’re really not worth very much to them. That goes for all women – Asian and non-Asian. There is a concept that even if a woman is white, black, or whatever else non-Asian that you fancy, she still has to prove herself worthy of you. Unless, of course, you don’t think you’re worthy.
Repost
Sunday, October 06, 2002 at 22:36:21 (PDT)
[66.92.1.200]
Cali girl:
Although it might be better for me to stop posting, I think I forgot to adress the post where you said you apologized some people, me included. I'm sorry for this. actuallly i didn't intend to start a fuss, I just felt a little discontent when I see someone that seem so hung up on the ugly trait of some people in the asian group yet so quick to deny good things that group have whch is kind of contradictory. Probably I was a bit delusional w/ you cos I had enough experiences w/ some (I said 'some')non AF who is committed in IR w/ AM yet seem to be threatened by AF or something which is why they are nitpicking w/ their faults or at least very keen on pointing out the bad things about them.
btw,I think the world would be a much better place if we really try to get to know each other and withhold from drawing quick conclusions judging from some small groups of people we met.
Peace!
s.u.a.g posted:
[I don't think I've accused AF of anything, except perhaps hypocrisy. When someone suggested that most AM thought WF were slutty, I simply quoted what an AM friend of mine said to the contrary a few days earlier, but withheld my opinion.
]
Now you can wash your hands of it so easily! LOL
j/k. anyway, the statistic number you list is based only on your experience right? Do you think it could be applied to other people, secifically AM? Because I think dating has more to do w/ you as an individual. Some AM got play from AF, some not. Your case probaly isn't applied to any AM, because you don't represent AM, you're just one of them. anyway, i find AM who get dates from both AF and white women really attractive. don't know if it's true just how i always see it.
AF(18)
Sunday, October 06, 2002 at 13:59:22 (PDT)
[203.162.133.90]
Cali girl:
Although it might be better for me to stop posting, I think I forgot to address the post where you said you apologized some people, me included. I'm sorry for this. actuallly i didn't intend to start a fuss, I just felt a little discontent when I see someone that seem so hung up on the ugly trait of some people in the asian group yet so quick to deny good things that group have whch is kind of contradictory. Probably I was a bit delusional w/ you cos I had enough experiences w/ some (I said 'some')non AF who is committed in IR w/ AM yet seem to be threatened by AF or something which is why they are nitpicking w/ their faults or at least very keen on pointing out the bad things about them.
btw,I think the world would be a much better place if we really try to get to know each other and withhold from drawing quick conclusions judging from some small groups of people we met.
Peace!
AF(18)
Sunday, October 06, 2002 at 13:40:17 (PDT)
[203.162.133.90]
ok, bye bye.
I can't help if you really want to leave. But it's funny that you don't even know me and say that I have problem reading, am nerdy, with problems dating, lack communication skill and inability to comprehend. Wow, all those negativty in one whole paragraph, thanks a lot. I guess, these are your steortype of asian guys after all. These are the same one, why some asian womens sold-out too. Anyway, I don't have anything against you.
I guess you can't give me a good argument, so rather than do that, you say all the stuff I wasn't, which is fine, thanks a lot. Anyway if your leave, take care, have a good life, and good luck in school.
Just to let you know, I am the opposite of everything you wrote about me. I am in school also, not high school like you is, but a Graduate student in college and not nerdy. And I am older than you, 22, lol show a little respect. Bad excuse dude, here.
AppleMan
Sunday, October 06, 2002 at 13:03:51 (PDT)
[162.83.150.234]
Repost,
That is exactly what Deng Ai is saying.
Of course, he won't admit it since he's so pro-non Asian women.
You've caught him now.
the flip side
Saturday, October 05, 2002 at 12:48:29 (PDT)
[64.130.204.9]
Ironic, but true
Sorry...I just saw your post to me. Yes, I do have a few Mexican girlfriends who won't date Mexican men. Their words, not mine, is that they feel their own men are too possessive and that their egos are way out of control. At least that's the reasons they gave me.
To: Deng Ai
CaliGirl,
"Don't be so hard on yourself. I am sure plenty of folks here already know a lot of AFs refuse to date AMs. It's not that what you say isn't true, just that some folks aren't very good at handling the truth."
Thank you very much. I just now saw your post to me (above). I kind of thought that was the case but since I seemed to have offended quite a few people, I felt an apology was in order. You know the old saying "choose your battles wisely"? I didn't intend to start a feud so I chose to apologize even though I know my point was pretty correct.
Thanks again!!
CaliGirl
Friday, October 04, 2002 at 23:14:34 (PDT)
[63.233.90.130]
So, Deng Ai, it's the man's choice to date outside his race? It's a sign of strength? I guess the White men are stronger than Asian men because they are conquering YOUR women folk. Man you're an ass!
Thanks
Friday, October 04, 2002 at 19:14:16 (PDT)
[64.216.223.224]
bad excuse:
well it's NOT my argument for their selling out. I merely mentioned about one dilemma AF might face, how men could always find out sth to criticize women. I never said it is their reason for selling out. And for the record, I never said that you stated any AF are sellout. And I don't deny there are sellout AF. IN my posts, i just want to point out sometimes what you see is not always is what you assume it to be, and it is by no means an attractive trait at all if a man harbor hatred/ anger/negative thoughts. it makes him look bad.
You have serious prblems w/ reading.... No use arguing or even raise anypoint w/ you. I wonder if you are one of the nerdy men who have problems w/ dating. You lack communication skills, or precisely the ability to get what people say.
anyway i'm gonna leave here soon. are you happy now?
S.U.A.G
I never portray AM w/ wf are sellouts. there are AM who date wf cos he doesn't care about race. And those who worship WF yet are biased to other race women. THERE IS DEFINITELY S DIFFERENCE btw these 2 types of man.
I don't know y some of you guys always misintepret what I say, i wonder if you willfully twist my word or not. Anyway i'm just too busy and tired to make it clear that i didn't say this and that.
asian storm:
Thx for clearing it up for me. if someone read my posts, he'll see i didn't intend to accuse AM who sell out or being all in business when it comes to AM selling out.
Hey people, nice discussion w/ you guys here. I intended to leave several days ago, but a couple of posts still make me reply to remain here untill now. I felt tired w/ this talk, to be honest. You're not gonna change the views of some people. I just wish them happiness w/ their non-af women w/o harboring any anger or distaste for other people. I said what I want and I hate being repetitive and engageing in some pointless bicker . I think it 'd be Nice to talk and listen to open ninded and intelligent AM like Repost, sog, asian storm , proud to be azn , etc or anyone i forgot but i just have no time for this forum anymore.I have school work and stuff.
Bye!Take care!
AF(18)
Friday, October 04, 2002 at 15:03:36 (PDT)
[61.11.245.5]
The 95% number is one that I and other AM who date WF came up with independently. This is from personal experiences only, not gleaned from online dating sites and other BS.
The important point is that there's a small number of WF who absolutely won't date AM. There's an equally small number of WF who strongly prefer AM & specifically seek them out. It's important for AM to not believe they are the only WF interested in AM. For the vast majority of WF (95+%), being Asian is not a big deal. It's much worse to be out of shape, boring, jealous, stupid, hot tempered, etc.
The 15% of AF is the most questionable guess-timate since I don't date AF and need input from AM who do, i.e., how many AM think they were rejected by AF simply because they were Asian. But I'm certain the % of AF who absolutely will not date AM is greater than similar WF.
I think Asians are 2% of the population and with much more WF interested in AM than AF are, it would explain why other AMs and I get more attention from WF.
I do agree with Repost that I would be kind of wary of a woman who's interested in me specifically b/c I'm Asian because of whatever conceptions she may have (family-oriented, loyal, other BS). I would be more comfortable if she just found herself attracted to Asians physically as genuine physical attraction is at a more primal level and less influenced than stereotypes.
I find myself much more physically attracted to WF. I consider it a preference. I also strongly prefer brunettes over blondes. Preferring one does not mean hating the other.
I think this is more innocent than being an AM who has dated AF in the past or one who is interested in AF. In that case, it's possible he's dating WF to spite AF whereas I simply don't care.
I don't think I've accused AF of anything, except perhaps hypocrisy. When someone suggested that most AM thought WF were slutty, I simply quoted what an AM friend of mine said to the contrary a few days earlier, but withheld my opinion.
Most AM date WF for different reasons than AF date WM.
I don't think my attitude has much to do with it. The WF need no encouragement from me, certainly not if they're just checking me out. An unattractive WF will get the cold shoulder, too, should she approach me.
Bad reasons for IR:
Revenge (I'll show those AF!)
Stereotype (AM are family-oriented, AF are quiet and obedient)
Inferiority complex/hypergamy
Better reasons:
Physical attraction
Personality/intelligence
Common values and beliefs
S.U.A.G.
Friday, October 04, 2002 at 13:20:24 (PDT)
[12.221.106.26]
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