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ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
AA MEN SEEK OUT NON-ASIAN WOMEN
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 06:02:28 PM)
sian women are only interested in non-Asian men and don't give Asian men the time of day. That's the reason cited by many AA men for dating and marrying non-Asians. A minority of AA men say they simply find non-Asian women more physically attractive or more appealing in terms of personality, values and interests.
The new pairing?
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Whatever the reasons, the rates at which young Asian men are dating and marrying non-Asian women are quickly approaching the rates at which Asian women are outdating and outmarrying (about 38%). Some Asian women are complaining that they aren't getting a fair shake because Asian men have been brainwashed by media standards of desirability.
What are the real reasons for so many Asian men seeking out non-Asian women? How do Asian women really feel about this trend? Who benefits most from it? Will the trend continue? We want to hear your views.
This interactive article is closed to new input.
Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
This week, I just went to lunch with 4 girls I met.
They were all from different nationalities: an Armenian, Mexican, Persian and Guatemalan.
They were all attractive young girls. They were not the high maintenance type though.
I must say that I went out of my way to treat all of them, esp. the Armenian and Persian girls. I treated the latter 2 like princesses, because I have a thing for this culture.
But, it is definitely an experience I will never give up. Looking forward to more...
Asian guy who opened up
Friday, October 18, 2002 at 23:03:34 (PDT)
[64.130.235.33]
can't be both and Fari,
Also, I am saying this because one of my professors I regularly talked with in my old junior college was a funny Iranian guy. Again, he said the same thing in that if his daughter were to intermarry out of the Iranian race, he preferred it to be an East Asian.
I also had a friend (chinese-american guy) whose gf was the daughter of some Turkish ambassador. When they went to vacation in her home in Istanbul together, her parents did not say or do anything against it.
There are some Iranians (such as the soccer star, Khodadad Azizi) who look no different from East Asians.
I know
Wednesday, October 16, 2002 at 17:52:06 (PDT)
[64.130.235.33]
Fari,
Chetori? Man khob hastam. Dost man hasti.
I think that Persians in the USA are more open to intermarriages than compared to Arab Muslims. Because, for one thing, the Persians I know are not very religious (save for the Iranian Jews).
I am only saying this because when I visited Shiraz and Isfahan, the parents of some daughters offered to marry their girls to me in exchange for my "official" conversion to the Alevi (Shiite) sect of Islam and that I pay them $50. Of course, I declined.
I asked some young Iranians at the University of Shiraz what they thought of Asian men, and one girl (Monireh) said she has not seen too many ugly ones. She complimented my facial features and skin tone.
I asked them again, if their parents would object to a Chinese son-in-law, and they only said that Persian parents would only object if I was black.
Mersy. Huda Hafiz.
I know
Wednesday, October 16, 2002 at 17:35:16 (PDT)
[64.130.235.33]
I know
You said:
'They would definately prefer us over blacks and Hispanics. Even some prefer us over whites'
And:
'Not all Persians are as close-minded and racist as you state'
So which is it? Because it..
can't be both!
Tuesday, October 15, 2002 at 04:25:48 (PDT)
[213.52.200.140]
I know,
Yes there are some Persian parents that may accept more than others. As a whole in general? No. That is shunned and is seen as an abomination. I am sorry that you do not fully understand. I am a Persian woman. I think I should know my culture. Don't you think? I know my culture, my people. I don't need you to explain to me the ins and outs of my people. My parents are like many others that disapprove. I am only speaking from the truth.
Fari
Monday, October 14, 2002 at 09:59:37 (PDT)
[64.12.96.105]
Fari,
I know a lot of Persian parents who wouldn't mind having an Asian son-in-law. Usually, those who have lived here for a long time can see that East Asians are not altogether different from the Middle Easterners in financial/academic background and an Eastern moral outlook.
They would definitely prefer us over blacks and Hispanics. Even some prefer us over whites.
Not all Persians are as close minded and racist as you state. In fact, I think they are more open minded and less religious than the Arabs and Pakistanis in the USA.
I know
Sunday, October 13, 2002 at 23:16:54 (PDT)
[64.130.235.33]
"Not the white nor Mexican girls gave me similar treatment."
This is funny I think, because where I am in the bay area of San Francisco, it is mostly the White and then latina babes who give me the eye. I feel that Eastern European babes are receptive but play a little harder than the first two types. That is they won't outwardly give me any signals and expect me to make with all the preliminaries. Same with the Iranian women, they'll look but act aloof. Oh well, I just play the cards as they're dealt.
Cruiser
Sunday, October 13, 2002 at 22:06:09 (PDT)
[64.12.96.105]
I think the article and the comments are all interesting. Honestly, I am attracted to White girls (blonde or brunette) and Latinas the most. Blonde hair and blue eyes easily catches my eyes and attention... and Latinas are just CALIENTE!
OF course I'm not a sell-out because I am attracted to Asian girls, also. But my attraction to other races probably stems from the fact that I am a 4th generation Chinese American (I'm more American than some of my White friends believe it or not!), I can pass as either part White or part Hispanic, and I can speak semi-fluent Spanish.
In addition, I tend to like girls with big beautiful eyes.... and Asian girls generally have smaller eyes.
Perhaps I might be more attracted to Asian girls if they were portrayed differently in the media. I like the looks of Britney Spears, Mandy Moore, and even the hot latina stars Paulina Rubio, Shakira, and Thalia. The most famous Asian Americans in the entertainment industry look too stereotypically ethnic in my opinion (think Lucy Liu).
However, I guess I can't help who I'm attracted to... I'm just attracted to White and Latina girls.
4th gen. Chinese guy aznawkdd@aol.com
Saturday, October 12, 2002 at 19:49:24 (PDT)
[138.23.90.64]
Any Aisan men out there who would be interested in dating a Black/Native American woman?
E-mail:
Lovelyn_vh@excite.com
Love Lovelyn_vh@excite.com
Saturday, October 12, 2002 at 14:56:13 (PDT)
[64.12.96.39]
I got this Persian girl's phone number (don't know if it is fake?). I really thought she was Mexican until she wrote down her name and number for me. I thought it was strange already, because no other Mexican girl had ever looked into my eyes like the way she did. When I saw she had an Iranian name, I felt flattered. I like this culture. I got other girls numbers too (3 other Persians as well), but it is this particular one I am going crazy for.
How long should I wait to call her in order to not appear too desperate?
I was walking throughout campus trying to meet girls, and of all the different races and nationalities I talked to, it is the Persian, Armenian and Russian girls who gave me the delicious looks in those eyes.
Not the white nor Mexican girls gave me similar treatment.
Just observing from what I see. The funny thing is that the 3 groups I mentioned (Persians, Russians, Armenians) come from nations where very strong and friendly relations between them and China exists. Could this be why they are more open to us Asian guys?
Besides, there were some emperors from the Tang dynasty who did have Persian concubines. I am only following in the footsteps of an ancestral tradition.
Whatever it is, I don't want to miss out on that chance with this girl.
She is in my mind
Saturday, October 12, 2002 at 02:06:59 (PDT)
[130.182.129.104]
Converted one:
Your post displays pathetic shallowness. I'm quite surprised about what you said about asian women cos most asian women i know are smart and one can always have a deep exchange w/ them. Remember that there are good/not so good people in every race. You go for the girl, but not race/ethnicity. A good girl is worth attention regardless of what race she is.
Azn Pride
Friday, October 11, 2002 at 19:11:27 (PDT)
[203.162.23.89]
Myself as a Persian woman this expresses alot in all honesty.
In our struggle for success and respect on foreign soil, we have adapted the segregationist mentality that plagues this country. A country that has hailed the "equality" flag from misconception.
Now Iranians have become afflicted with this virus that spread across all minority groups. We try out best to fit the European white mold, believing it to be the highest form of existence. We boast about our history and poetry, about our artists and mathmaticians, yet we have abandoned the true nature of our identity in ourder to gain social acceptance. In an attempt to act and look "normal" we sun other races, viewing them as lower specimens. We believe that Arabs are dirty, Jews are conniving, gays are disgusting and blacks are ignorant (I personally do not believe in this way) Persians feel complemented when mistaken for French or Itallian, but show great aversion to being mistaken as Arab or Chicano. We deem ourselves superior to all of Asia because of our "Aryan" ancestry and great Persian Empire. Even among our own people, we praise the fair, light eyed, and light haired over the siaah sookhtehs. But just as the white supremacist attitude views other minorities as inferior, it also views Iranians and middle easterners as inferior]
for ex.The Esfahni boy gets nose job, plucks his eyebrows, and changes Babak to Bob so that his colleagues will think of him as one of the guys.
In self defense, many of my Persian friends claim that they are not prejudiced because they have an Arab/Latino/Black/East Asian/Gay/Jewish friend. A relationship with an individual representative of a group does not equate acceptance of the group as a whole. Nor does it compensate for the racial slurs, jokes and remarks that slip from our tongues time to time.
I know there are some Asian Korean, Chinese,Japanese excetera.that are probably nice men. My parents and family friends would have my head taken off almost literally if I go to that extent in my life. I do wish that I could be brave enough. I am not so brave to date interracial. I do obey my father and mother no matter the cost. I wish I could change this, but I cannot. Because this is a fact and a necessity.
Fari
Friday, October 11, 2002 at 15:52:47 (PDT)
[64.12.96.105]
Media conditioning is definately a part of it. I think that any Asian man or woman wo denies this isn't being honest with themselves. I mean, look at Japanese women. They're 300 miles removed from Hollywood, yet they eat up the images of the blonde blue eyed Leo Dicaprio hollywood model. If it affects Asian women all the way over there, it MUST affect us AAs here, male or female. I will admit that I find beach blonde types really attractive, even though I prefer Asian women.
Being Honest
Thursday, October 10, 2002 at 10:29:26 (PDT)
[128.253.186.46]
Curious Wow:
Personally, I think asian women are the most beautiful, but I'm open minded and I can be physically attracted to women of all races. As for looks, AF get my vote. But as for personality I find LF to be the most funny,outgoing and openminded of all women.
After asian women, it is LF that I'm all for. To answer the questions,I like the mixed looking ones like J.Lo. The pale and blond girl don't do much . Christian Millian is very pretty too!
A korean guy
Wednesday, October 09, 2002 at 19:47:17 (PDT)
[203.162.121.75]
hey apppleman:
can you post under one nick?
falkg
Wednesday, October 09, 2002 at 15:59:02 (PDT)
[203.162.133.88]
I used to date asian women exclusively, but once I opened my eyes and dated non-asians, I found that I'm much more attracted to white and latin women. Their personalities are more dynaamic and compatible with mine. The asian girls I dated were too conservative and it was had to have deep intelligent conversations with them. And most of them are very insecure. And to be honest, the sex is much better with the white girls I have been with. I still love my asian sisters and my heritage, asian women just don't do it for me.
Converted one
Wednesday, October 09, 2002 at 13:20:40 (PDT)
[198.81.27.8]
NYC Asian Guy,
This is where the saying "when one want's you then everyone does and if one doesn't then no body will", applys here. Although I exaggerated a little, but you get the picture.
get your mack on!
Yup, your right. 2 can play that game, we can too. WORD UP!!!
2 kool
Tuesday, October 08, 2002 at 20:57:38 (PDT)
[162.83.147.50]
Curious Wow,
I'm just not attracted to asian womens.. but I am to womens of other race. They don't have to be white to get my attention. Middle eastern, latina, white, blacks and mixed are all fine, they are all beautiful. I am no sell-out but I am just physically attracted to these women other than my own. Just don't know why I don't like my own women, can't explain it but that's how it is with me.
[I was just wondering, what kind of Latinas are you attracted to? Is it the ones that have White skin or do you like all kinds of Latinas??? ]
Dark skin, white skin (light skin) are all nice. Latinas with olive skin complexion are simply gorgeous. Sometimes it depends on who you meet. I've seen beautiful dark skins latina as well as light skin.
AppleMan
Tuesday, October 08, 2002 at 12:01:16 (PDT)
[162.83.147.50]
[We've omitted many posts that persist with the same old "level the playing field" thread. Take a hint unless you like posting to ether. --Ed]
[Let's get beyond the "'cause AF are doing it" discussion. Do AM go into IR purely to level the playing field? Or are there other factors at work too? Media conditioning? Rivalry with other males? Availability? Cultural compatibility? We'll omit all the 'cause AF do it" posts for the next several months. They've become so repetitive as to be *yawn* Zzzzzzzzzzz.... --Ed]
"But I’m not sure what the percentage of Asian women is who actively seek out Asian men. You don’t think it’s zero, do you?"
it's definitely not zero. I know as much AF who actively seek out AM as I've seen 'sellout AF' , if not more( even much more).
AF(18)
Monday, October 07, 2002 at 21:16:32 (PDT)
[61.11.245.5]
Repost:
Fantastic post I must say! You 've made a lot of cogent and valid points.
ANd I really think you're a such cool guy!
AF(18)
Monday, October 07, 2002 at 21:10:23 (PDT)
[61.11.245.5]
I was just wondering, what kind of Latinas are you attracted to? Is it the ones that have White skin or do you like all kinds of Latinas??? I'm not Hispanic or Asian, but I would just like to know.
To the AMs that have a strong preference for WFs, what is it that puts uthem above the other races of women?
These seem like fun and interesting topics!
Curious Wow
Monday, October 07, 2002 at 18:04:42 (PDT)
[64.216.223.124]
I think Deng Ai has :
1) A bad experience with an Asian woman
2) Mommy issues
This explains why no one has ever seen him post anything positive about his Asian female counterparts.
Don't be mad at him.
Simply pity the fellow.
Psychologist
Monday, October 07, 2002 at 14:06:29 (PDT)
[208.48.177.3]
A common misconception:
"AF CAN date men of any race whereas the AM can ONLY date AF"
I've heard this from so many AF, I can almost laugh. I think as long as AF continue to believe this they will continue to value AM less. I suppose it's just a suply & demand thing.
I didn't come on this forum to bash AF, for there are many that love AM. I really do not hold any contempt for AF. I just wish increase the confidence of the AM a bit, offering my own positive experiences with non-AF. Mostly I'd like to shatter that myth that the AM is only good enough for the AF (denoting inferiority, i know..). I believe the AF will eventually appreciate the AM more if she realizes that we actually have much to offer and can be desirable to women of other races. Sometimes I wonder if we AM would love the AF so much if we didn't recognize that men of all races appreciate the AF.
All this hopefully can help trenscend that inferiority complex many Asian suffer from. Mostly I'm trying to help and offer a positive perspective of an AM, an AM who's always had his pick of female admirers.
NYC Asian Guy
Monday, October 07, 2002 at 13:54:34 (PDT)
[24.90.169.63]
Repost wrote:
"But I have two choices. I can use those scars as my passage to hold onto the pain and bitterness, justifying my contempt towards all Asian women. Or I can look at those scars as a reminder what bitterness is borne from such contempt, and that I have a choice not to propagate that. I chose the latter."
The above was a very mature and respectable post. It's obvious coming from a guy who's been there, done that and have a great deal of wisdom. But let me say this to you, "would you advise you younger brother to only seek out AF for dating, given what you know and what he's faced with?"
I unlike you have a great deal of experience as well when it comes to dating. I must say I wouldn't advise my young Asian brothers to focus of Asian girls alone. Such is self-defeating. I think people should recognize that there's more to Asian pride than to date only one's own kind. And when it's an accepted fact that a large percentatge of the AF population in the US would rather not date you. It's just being smart, not being hateful or harboring some contempt. I personally love Asian women, and in particular those who love Asian men. But given the ratios, it does not justify the AM dating the AF only, for he will have a good chance of being alone. On the other extreme the AF will continue to enjoy her deemed "superiority." I know this is silly but such seem to be case. Why deal with it if one does not have to. Why travel 2nd-class when one has the opportunity to go 1st-class.
Many AF date IR to date up. I've never really known of any AM who do that, although many do date interracially. Have you noticed that very few AF actually come to this site and contradict guys like "HUU76"? They seem to know the score, even those AF who love AM know that many if not most of their AF sisters do not prefer AM. For an AM who's got plenty to offer, why market to ONLY to a select group, especially when that group is possibly the "least" likely to accept you. "And let say this, "women do the choosing." It just seems like common sense to me. I do not believe I'm writing this out of contempt in any way. I've lived and I've learned. I've simply learned that as an AM with plenty of options, I achieve greater success and a greater quality of life by diversifying my options, when it comes to women.
NYC Asian Guy
Monday, October 07, 2002 at 13:41:03 (PDT)
[24.90.169.63]
Hell, forget all percentages, preferences, and all that mess... None of that Asiangirl hating because they are with a non-Asian guy... Us Asian men need to hook up with all these non-Asian broads... 2 Can play that game!!!!
Get your game on my AA brothers...
get your mack on!
Monday, October 07, 2002 at 13:06:47 (PDT)
[208.228.183.2]
{I guess you can't give me a good argument, so rather than do that, you say all the stuff I wasn't, which is fine, thanks a lot. Anyway if your leave, take care, have a good life, and good luck in school.}
no. it is you who always twist the words around, an example is how you put words into my mouth
[Wow, all those negativty in one whole paragraph, thanks a lot. I guess, these are your steortype of asian guys after all. These are the same one, why some asian womens sold-out too](it is you who have in your head this stereotype, not ME!)
Not that I can't argue w/ you but it is you who have serious problem w/ reading my post OR you twist my words around all the time intentionally. That is why I don't give a shit about you. You sound petty like a woman..
WOW you are a graduate,...I 'm a little surprised...!!!
AF
Monday, October 07, 2002 at 10:14:10 (PDT)
[61.11.245.5]
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