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GOLDSEA |
ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
AA MEN SEEK OUT NON-ASIAN WOMEN
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 06:02:27 PM)
sian women are only interested in non-Asian men and don't give Asian men the time of day. That's the reason cited by many AA men for dating and marrying non-Asians. A minority of AA men say they simply find non-Asian women more physically attractive or more appealing in terms of personality, values and interests.
The new pairing?
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Whatever the reasons, the rates at which young Asian men are dating and marrying non-Asian women are quickly approaching the rates at which Asian women are outdating and outmarrying (about 38%). Some Asian women are complaining that they aren't getting a fair shake because Asian men have been brainwashed by media standards of desirability.
What are the real reasons for so many Asian men seeking out non-Asian women? How do Asian women really feel about this trend? Who benefits most from it? Will the trend continue? We want to hear your views.
This interactive article is closed to new input.
Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
Village idiot,
Thanks for the compliment on my post, I onlky say what I feel and what is right, In my world there is no time or space for bigotry and racism. We may be of different races and cultures but essentially deep down we are all the same, We all want two things -ACCEPTANCE AND LOVE.
I hope you find those two things in your lifetime. If you already have-you are lucky.
I feel in this crazy world we live in if you can find someone who loves and accepts you no matter what creed or race -go for it-who cares what anybody else thinks??
Best wishes
Leah joie_77@yahoo.com
Monday, November 18, 2002 at 08:05:55 (PST)
[24.138.12.39]
Pinky,
I agree with you 100%. No one wants anyone from any race to put down their culture,We want to learn from it and grow, That is the beauty of being in multi cultural/interracial relationship-the learning is endless and any ethnocentricism you may have acquired in the past goes totally out the window when you discover and learn new ways of doing things. I illustrated this in the second papragraph of my first post.
My point was that people should be with someone(of another culture) because they care for the person and want to learn about them, share their life with that person-not because they dont like their race. And also that cultural adaption is infact a postiive thing but not at the expense of denying your culture or roots.
Leah joie_77@yahoo.com
Monday, November 18, 2002 at 08:02:37 (PST)
[24.138.12.39]
who cares- exactly, rub it in their faces. Those AFs would love to see their behavior get to you. When you're out with your man, hold his hand tightly, hold your head up high, and smile because you know you are happy with your man and he is happy with you. :)
Also I think a lot of AFs think it's okay for them to date WMs but when the tables are turned they don't think it's fair.
just curious
Monday, November 18, 2002 at 06:48:39 (PST)
[207.183.118.60]
Just curious and just for the fun of it, does anyone know of celebrity or famous AM/WF couples other than Bruce Lee and Linda ?
Green Jade
Sunday, November 17, 2002 at 19:10:50 (PST)
[24.42.210.246]
lite brn eyes,
just rub it in their faces. they are being racist, they deserve it. I find that the AFs who have the most problem with AM/WF are the sellouts (who have such low self-esteem that they have to validate themselves thru WM mates, and thus feel that their identities are threatened when they see AMs with WF or others) and the hardcore Azn ladies who just dont have any exposure outside Asian circles and are just ignorant.
who cares.
Saturday, November 16, 2002 at 17:48:16 (PST)
[128.253.186.46]
Lite brwn eyes: I'm sorry to hear about your experiences. I think the answer to why they treat you like that is either racism or jealousy, or both. Maybe they're jealous that a non-Asian woman "stole" one of their own from them, or they think inter racial relationships are wrong. That is SO RUDE to laugh and point and then speak about you in another language, I guess they never learned any manners. How does your boyfriend react?
You said that you got more mean looks when you died your hair lighter, maybe they're jealous because they wish they could have blonde hair too. Or they're jealous because you're pretty. Don't let them get to you. I try to just ignore them. I don't let insecure and jealous people get to me.
just curious
Friday, November 15, 2002 at 11:33:04 (PST)
[207.183.118.60]
to wf:
I feel ya . I dated a wm and i get the same experience from wf. one time a wf goes w/ a friend she points at me and talk nasty things about asian women. i was really pissed off. but forget it and move on just like what i did...there are so many better things for u to enjoy.!!!good luck
asian angel
Friday, November 15, 2002 at 09:55:04 (PST)
[203.162.132.171]
just curious,
Yes I do have that problem. I have been with my bf for a year. It seems like the Afs don't approve. They give me really dirty looks and laugh and poke fun in their language. I don't know why it seems like they take it alot harder when a non-Af is with an Am. I just don't understand really, because I have abslutely nothing against Afs. I also notice they seemed to not have such a problem with it when my hair was dark black. When I highlighted it? They acted really disgusted with us as a couple. Restauraunts, movies etc.
Lite brwn eyes
Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 13:29:44 (PST)
[64.12.96.105]
Do any of you non-asian women that are dating an asian man find it hard to get along with or be accepted by asian women? I do and I'd love to hear your input.
just curious
Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 09:39:32 (PST)
[207.183.118.60]
Leah (joie_77@yahoo.com)
i love you! that was a wonderful and well written post. it's good to see that sense and sensibility hasn't disappeared from this day and age. you go girl; you got true wisedom.
villageidiot
Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 15:33:05 (PST)
[65.184.81.113]
Leah,
No. Just as I stated clearly in my comment, there is absolutely nothing wrong with adapting to a culture and wanting to be accepted into it. I think that is wonderful. The things that I don't agree with are being ashamed of ones culture to the point of denying it in a relationship etc. Like similar examples of what I mentioned. Like if he were to be like,"I hate Chinese people. I hate Chinese food. I think Chinese women are unattractive" or "Asian people get on my nerves. I hate being near them" and this is an Asian man who is Chinese with Chinese parents. I think that is ridiculous and very hard to respect someone who thinks in such a way.
Pinky
Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 11:14:22 (PST)
[205.188.208.43]
Hi this is a great article and interesting subject. I think Asian men are a REAL JEWEL to the American /Canadian culture. I hate to generalize but its true that the majority are loving,hard working,caring and gentle family men. They have values that alot of caucasians lack.
I think some of the part of the reason asian men are dating non asians is that they want to assimilate into the american culture so to speak,. They want to feel accepted and learn the american ways.That is not bad in itself to adapt and adaption to all cultures is a positive thing.However what they need to realize is that we want them to be proud of their culture as well. We (non asians)want a confident man who loves his family,culture and ethniticity and is willing to introduce us to it. Not someone who wants to deny or disgrace his culture.
They also may feel the need to exercise their masculinity as a man and America is more understanding per se of sex and experimentation before marriage than is the asian culture. Not saying that asian men are using these women but perhaps those natural biological urges are there and need to be fullfilled as they do with all human beings, in a relationship. When we like someone we want ot be close to them. Its pretty simple.
I have no problem with innterracial dating and would do it in a heartbeat if I was interested in the person.but I would do it cause I liked the man not as a status symbol or because it was cool so to speak. We all w ant to fit in and learn but we should also be proud of where we come from and our origins. Whats not to be proud of with the asian man? Hes wonderful!!
Sorry it was so long I had alot to say.
Leah joie_77@yahoo.com
Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 14:30:49 (PST)
[24.138.12.39]
I like Asian Men with FOB accents. It is such a huge turn on. My boyfriend has a strong accent and there is just something about it that is so adorably cute! He speaks and understands english okay. I still love the way his voice sounds when he prounounces his words! There is just nothing on this earth like it.
:) in love
Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 10:22:19 (PST)
[152.163.189.231]
Hi Pinky,
I think your right. The thing that attracts me most to Asian Men is their looks, personality then their pride in their culture. I had a similar experience like yours. I recently broke off a relationship with a guy I was just getting to know. We had a really great vibe between us. He kept telling me that his eyes are rounder than most Asian Mens eyes. I could not understand why he would always go out of his way to point that out to me. I find his eyes to be incredibly beautiful in shape. He was also like your situation, telling me that the food and people from his culture sucked (I won't mention what Asian Ethnicity he is, because he comes here to the goldsea sometimes and I don't want to give him away. He might get embarrassed) Anyways, I was completely turned off by all of that. I think it made me lose interest in him. I am proud of my culture and my people. I want to be with someone who feels the same about himself and his culture.
Anonymous Woman
Monday, November 04, 2002 at 07:30:21 (PST)
[152.163.189.233]
pinky,
really really like your post
hk guy
Friday, November 01, 2002 at 05:55:55 (PST)
[203.38.35.238]
I think the trend will continue. It's a fact: more Asian women marry out than Asian men. Whatever their reasons, I am not judging them. I think Asian men are becoming more mainstream and non-Asian women are FINALLY taping into a resource that has previously been unknown. Asian men are beautiful, inside and out, and have been overlooked by media and mainstream America. I think some open minded non-Asian women are seeing the potential of Asian men. They are beautiful, kind, loving, hard working and have great family values. The things women of all races want in a man. Asian men have been overlooked for a very long time but I think they may finally be getting the recognition that they deserve. GO my Asian brothers! You have got what it takes. Don't let the media fool you. You are deserved by more than just what your parents expect! It is not wrong, it is the natural course of events. It's not a "Yellow Fever" thing, it is a beautiful thing.
Factor X
Wednesday, October 30, 2002 at 19:52:49 (PST)
[64.12.96.39]
Wow!!! Is there a cease fire or something? Where is everybody?
Third Eye
Wednesday, October 30, 2002 at 12:05:50 (PST)
[66.105.208.193]
Are there any proud Asian men here? Are there any Asian men that are proud of Asian culture? I have always been attracted to Asian men. What attracts me the most? Physically of course, and then whats on the inside. Next what truly attracts me? The culture. I think there are so many beautiful Asian cultures. You can go almost anywhere and find a boring white or black guy with boring american culture, and hispanic culture is almost everywhere you look as well. I am not saying its bad, but its common almost nowadays. Asian Men? Like Korean, Japanese, Thai, Vietnamese, Chinese? and others? They are such intriguing and beautiful cultures that I would love to learn more about. I am tired of seeing Asian men who want to prove how Americanized they are. There is nothing wrong with being born here, and a part of American culture. But what is wrong with being proud of who you are, and sharing that part of you with an American woman? For example...this chinese guy I was seeing said to me,"I absolutely hate chinese food and chinese woman are not attractive. I also don't really like chinese people, that why I have mostly white and black friends now." That really made me feel differently towards him because, it was like he was trying to prove some point. My ex was from Thailand. The thing I loved about him is his not being ashamed. He shared with me his culture and language and history. I in turn did the very same with him. It made it so special.
Pinky
Tuesday, October 22, 2002 at 11:03:12 (PDT)
[64.12.96.39]
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