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AA MEN SEEK OUT NON-ASIAN WOMEN
(Updated Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 06:02:26 PM)

sian women are only interested in non-Asian men and don't give Asian men the time of day. That's the reason cited by many AA men for dating and marrying non-Asians. A minority of AA men say they simply find non-Asian women more physically attractive or more appealing in terms of personality, values and interests.
IR Couple
The new pairing?
Whatever the reasons, the rates at which young Asian men are dating and marrying non-Asian women are quickly approaching the rates at which Asian women are outdating and outmarrying (about 38%). Some Asian women are complaining that they aren't getting a fair shake because Asian men have been brainwashed by media standards of desirability.
     What are the real reasons for so many Asian men seeking out non-Asian women? How do Asian women really feel about this trend? Who benefits most from it? Will the trend continue? We want to hear your views.

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WHAT YOU SAY

[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
To: lordt78, Midwest student

Granted, some women may not know what they want, like where to go for dinner. We make the best guess what suits their fancy at that moment, only to get beaten down because we chose French when they suddenly wanted Italian as the entrée comes to the table.

But how well or poorly you treat a woman will get you the kind of woman that wants the certain kind of treatment you put out. If you treat a woman well, those who appreciate to be treated well will gravitate towards you. If you treat a woman poorly, those who need to be treated poorly – for one reason or another – will gravitate towards you. You won’t get both kinds – the ones who want to be treated well and the ones who need to be treated poorly – to gravitate towards you at the same time.

So the question is: do you want a woman who appreciates being treated well, or do you want a woman who needs to be treated poorly?

Midwest student: If you’re anything like your email alias “nicechineseguy,” you’d probably fail quite pathetically at treating women poorly. Just be yourself. The ones who can appreciate being treated well will gravitate towards you.
Repost    Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 03:09:16 (PST)    [66.92.1.200]
AM with Non-AF message boards...correct? Hmm. Alot of women here have asked the same old question of:
"Why do AM seem to be only interested in WFs' more than other Non-AFs?"
Would you all like to really know this answer? Just look at the picture to our left. That should be answer enough. This is not really about AM and any other Non-AFs'? Don't you get it? Its mostly about AM who dig WFs'. Am I hallucinating? Or does anyone else see this too? Just how many Saudi or Egyptian women are actually featured and discussed? The closest thing you may hear is something like this:
"Yes, I dated a hot latina once" etc
What gets me is that I did not have much knowledge of the Asian cultures before finding this website, and travelling around the world most of my life. Now it has been made very clear that AM are really only interested in WFs'. The city I currently live in has AM. Do they approach Saudi or other women in the MidEast? How about Hispanic? Nope. They don't. And when I have gone to the opera or a Wine Tasting the only interracial couples there? AM with WFs'. And for the most part? The women are polite mostly and will carry on a nice conversation. The men are usually always extremely arrogant, stuck up and rude. This is okay. I love interracial relationships and I think they can be remarkable. There is no need for anyone to be arrogant, or think they are better than someone else. I just think its ironic because I see many AM gripe that other Non-AFs' do not give them the time of day. That is a big lie. I have even seen the excuses of "The women have to be very pretty and slim" I am very slim and attractive. I also personally know plenty Saudi women who are also very attractive too. They like AM and we have discussed the way most AM close themselves off to AM/AF or AM/WF only. If this is the way they choose then why do they have the nerve to write griping paragraphs that no other women ever give them the time of day? And sometimes they blame it on AFs' not doing this or that? The town I live in is very prejudiced and mostly White population. I attend college here and have encountered many AM who are also extremely arrogant and prejudice to Non-WFs' on and off campus. One AM approached me in the library and had the balls to quietly ask me if I was a "bin laden" imagine that? What did he think he was? He claimed it was only because I looked "exotic" Well needless to say, these experriences I have been dealing with are making me think twice when it comes to dating into certain cultures.
whatever    Monday, December 23, 2002 at 12:56:37 (PST)    [209.214.169.59]
What sort of woman wants a guy who treats her like crap? That makes no sense. I would rather be treated respectfully by a gentleman
East Timor girl    Monday, December 23, 2002 at 08:41:31 (PST)    [209.214.171.62]
Rosita11215,
Thank you, i love you too. When is our first date?

Midwest student: Pay not any attention to Rosita11215, she's a female she doesn't understand. A lot of women actually say they want a nice guy but are naturally attracted to guys who are "not so nice" ones, so bear in mind.
lordt78    Wednesday, December 18, 2002 at 11:56:43 (PST)    [140.212.205.41]
lordt78:
I could not disagree with you more. The only kind of woman that would be attracted to a guy exhibiting that kind of behavior would be one with self-esteem problems, if not, then someone just looking for a quickie who would just use a guy then move on. And someone who boasts about all the women he dates is just telling me he doesn't need the time of day from me...and won't get it!
Rosita11215    Thursday, December 12, 2002 at 15:27:06 (PST)    [64.152.166.195]
Wow, thanks you all. I think what you said are probably all very true. However I have another question. I just want to see what other asians think about sex before marriage. Or even sex in highschool. With the lack of stable romantic relationship, I find my views slowly turning more and more towards sex before getting out of highschool. The "American Pie" mentality is getting a steady hold on me. I know as an asian immigrant, when I was in middle school I couldn't even imagine sex before marriage, then slowly in jr. high sex changed to something with the one you find. Now in highschool, I slowly find myself adjusting my views on sex to even highschool level.
Midewest highschool stude nicechineseguy@hotmail.com    Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 18:50:21 (PST)    [12.216.243.49]
"How is the world outside of mid-west highschools like?", asked Midwest student.

A whole lot better than what you have over there, that's for sure.

No wonder you chase after White girls more. Look at where you're at.

California beckons you....

Discover your true Asian self here, and meet gorgeous Asian women like you've never seen.
Westside boi    Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 15:13:59 (PST)    [208.48.177.5]
"Most if not many of us find Black women attractive"

I don't really know how much truth there is to that. I have an AM boyfriend now. Before I met him I dated AM. Most of them made it very clear that they were not attracted at all to Black women. I think at first glance they must have mistaken me for being something else. I had to tell them that I was a Black woman with mixed background (my grandmother, and grandmothers grandmother etc) Its almost as if they didn't believe me or something. I think alot of AM do not realize that many Black women have mixed background, and some do not always look like they'd expect. The boyfriend that I have now accepts me for me. I do however know that there are some AM who are open minded and are interested in Black women, but there are few who will approach one and show visible interest.
rose red@<-<---    Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 07:06:53 (PST)    [199.35.38.207]
To: Midwest student

"The endless cycle doesn't do well on adolescent love and heart breaks."

Dude, you're 17. Have fun. Heart breaks are not worth it.
Repost    Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 04:11:32 (PST)    [66.92.1.200]
Midwest student,

The reason why they're friends with you is because you acting like a "wuss". I'm not saying you are, however what you need to do is tease them more, stop spending too much time on the phone with them cut it short and hang up. Don't call her often. Also, never give her any advice, by giving them advices she'll only see you as a lowly "friend". Act confidence mix in with humor, be a little cocky. (don't over do it). Date other women and tell them about it. Show them that you the man! Don't be too nice, women will walk all over you. Never tell a woman (verbally) that you're interested in her.
lordt78    Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 10:39:28 (PST)    [140.212.205.41]
Midwest Student,

I think your e-mail says it all. If the "nice guy" schtick isn't working for you, what's wrong with being a bit bad-ass? Black men get white women because they are so intense about it. It is no lie to say that most women would rather avoid dating them either due to fear of backlash or out of racism. There is much less of that kind of racism against Asian men, yet they succeed and you don't. They still get white women because they have nothing to lose. They just go for it. You should follow their example, especially since you live in the backwaters of America... you have no choice. good luck, brother.
Just do it,dont look back    Monday, December 09, 2002 at 17:18:31 (PST)    [128.253.186.46]
Laynee,

Hey, I'm an Asian man and I will tell you that many if not most of us find Black women attractive, especially the attractive ones. Most AM are more open-minded than you think. Asian men are normally very polite in manner and non-forward. Such is the culture and actually is a sign of respect. The Asian culture is not keen on talking much or sticking your nose out. A more subtle approach is preferrable.

If you like a guy over there, you should show it, but subtlely. The demeanor is different than American men. Don't expect a "hey baby" or anything too forward. It would be considered impolite. It's just the culture norms. You may have more adimirers than you think.

Good luck! Hope you don't stay alone too long.
NYC Asian Am dude    Sunday, December 08, 2002 at 20:19:00 (PST)    [24.168.129.121]
First off, I'm a seventeen year old high school student in Missouri. I recently stumbled onto this site and it drew a lot of my interests because it discusses many topics which I always pondered about but could not discuss with anyone due to the lack of asians here. I know this is getting off topic, but hang with me here :). Personally I say I have no preferences to women. However, I find myself chasing more often after white girls. As a highschool student. This could be due to the fact that there are just more white women in my life. However, the problem I find is that most of the times the whites that I chase after become great friends with me. They can talk to me for hours on end, but often times will not think of me as anything more. It almost seems as if the idea for them is immpossible. Looks wise, I think I'm decent. I'm six foot two and bench 220 pounds. (so highschoolish, but I guess I'm in highschool). However, recently it's really been getting to me. The endless cycle doesn't do well on adolescent love and heart breaks. What is the reason? Any comments? How is the world outside of mid-west highschools like?
Midwest student nicechineseguy@hotmail.com    Sunday, December 08, 2002 at 17:32:34 (PST)    [12.216.243.49]
I am a Black female living in Taiwan. I consider myself attractive, fun and easy to get along with. Asian men are polite to me but seem not to EVER approach me. What do Asian men think of Black women? Must I spend my entire time here alone?Any tips or suggesstions on dating or should I just settle into a life of isolation while I'm here? I would be interested in getting feedback.
Laynee joliej84@hotmail.com    Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 06:35:18 (PST)    [168.95.19.27]
To: Rosita11215

A nerdy bookworm, huh? Well, in a few years, you’ll own your own house, if you don’t already. And maybe that apartment building or two, where you’ll collect rents from those non-bookworm types who ostracized you for being a bookworm. Oh, but you won’t be without problems. Like having to decide each morning which car to drive – the Mercedes, BMW, or Porsche. ;)
Repost    Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 05:50:00 (PST)    [66.92.1.200]
I am a Latin female of mixed heritage. I find Asian men attractive because we share common life experiences being minorities, yet our cultures are different so that makes for interesting discussions. I am always interested in seeing life from another's perspective.
I also admire intelligence and placing value on education, something that is not always easy to find among men (or women) in general. Sorry if I sound like an elitist but this is me! I am kind of a nerdy bookworm and have been ostracized by this too all my life.
Just my thoughts.
Rosita11215 aali2@mindspring.com    Saturday, November 30, 2002 at 06:36:11 (PST)    [63.210.220.165]
WF,

Yes, minorities have been known to stick up for one another because we've experienced much of the same racism and classism that exists.

I would like to ask you politely why you wrote "I'm glad for you that you don't experience AFs the same way I do- snobby, judgmental and stuck up" YET in the sentence BEFORE this, you wrote "Talk about generalizing an entire group and being prejudiced."
How Oxymoronic    Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 13:32:10 (PST)    [208.48.177.5]
Pinky, a lot of AFs probably do get along with you better because you are also a minority. It seems like a lot of AFs on a lot of boards here just hate WFs with a passion. Talk about generalizing an entire group and being prejudiced. You're lucky, I'm glad for you that you don't experience AFs the same way I do- snobby, judgmental and stuck up.
WF    Monday, November 25, 2002 at 06:53:34 (PST)    [207.183.118.60]
Green Jade,

That is exactly what I notice. There are at least a celebrity couple with an AM/WF (Bruce/Linda etc) There are no LF/AM famous couples, or Middle eastern/AM famous couples or even any famous BF/AM couples. Isn't that wild? Because these sort of couples do definitely exist in the real world, but there are no famous couples like this mentioned or ever featured.
East Timore girl    Sunday, November 24, 2002 at 04:33:12 (PST)    [205.188.208.43]
Most AW seem to be easygoing women. I have met so many, and this has been my experience. I do honestly think they feel more compfortable with women of color. I am a woman of color. I have never experienced any nasty animosity from them. I do think it really depends on how you treat people. If you treat people with respect and decency, you will recieve that in return. I am not a woman who walks around with her nose sticking in the air. I try to practice and think in a humble way. Having this way of thinking and believing changes alot of things. It makes it easier to get along with alot of different cultures of people. I also try not to limit myself. I try to widen out my fellowship with BW and WW as well. People are people. We all bleed red, and we all have the ability to feel love and hate. Everyone wants to be treated with respect. Noones deserves to be mistreated.
Pinky    Thursday, November 21, 2002 at 21:33:07 (PST)    [64.12.96.105]
I'm a PuertoRican female. I went to NY for the first time to see my bf. Hes an AM who lives in a predominantly Asian community. I didn't get any mean stares from anyone. Everyone was pretty cool. I pretty much have no problem with AFs. I get along with them, as well as with the men. I have however gotten dirty comments and stares from Black and PuertoRican men and I could care less anyways. Everyone else didn't seem to have a problem with us holding hands and kissing. When we are together we sorta tune everything out anyway :P
LaTiNa    Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 15:58:24 (PST)    [205.188.208.43]

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