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AA KIDS ADVANTAGED OR HANDICAPPED?
(Updated Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 06:00:26 PM)

sian American parents push their kids to get A's and enter top colleges. Kids grumble and moan but ultimately thank their folks as they graduate from top universities and prosper in fields like medicine, business and tech.
     At least, that's the rosy picture painted by statistics and proud family anecdotes.
     The nation's highest-ranked school districts and private academies look like magnet schools for Asian American students. The numbers get even better at the university level. In California Asians outnumber Whites at UC Berkeley (41%), UCLA (40%), UC Irvine (57%) and UC Riverside (48%). In other UC campuses and virtually all ivies Asians outnumber all other minorities combined, making up 17-35% of students.
     Not bad for a minority comprising barely 4% of the U.S. population.
     Academic success translates to overrepresentation in professional and managerial slots -- twice the rate of the general population, according to Census Bureau figures. But look beyond the raw numbers and the picture dims. Asians are virtual no-shows in the high profile worlds of media, entertainment, politics, arts and sports -- the fields that, for better or worse, dictate the worldview of Americans.
     It's the old tree-falling-in-the-forest problem. If we aren't on prime time is our success real?
     Our low visibility can be blamed on discrimination. But some of us question the blind pursuit of traditional avenues of success. If more parents would just let kids find their own paths, we'd soon see Asian American leaders, icons and superstars, they argue. We need to raise more big imaginations, big talents and big personalities, they contend, and fewer high-wattage drays. Play more, grind less, is their prescription. Others believe Asian parents are on the right track, that in a white-majority society the smart minority strategy is to shoot for quiet success.
     Are we turning out too many heavy lifters and not enough heavyhitters? And are Asian American parents to blame? What's your prescription for a brighter future for the next generation of Asian Americans.

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WHAT YOU SAY

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Bamboozled,

I think the list is hilarious (even if it's from a book). I can definitely relate to it. My parents thinks I'm a failure since I can't play an instrument (I killed two violins and a piano before they told me to quit) and I ALWAYS get an "B+" in math where as all my other grades are A+ or an A. *sigh* It seems all Asian parents are really tough, ne?

I'm gonna remember the list so I won't turn out like my parents when I have a kid ^^
SVZ
   Wednesday, April 16, 2003 at 14:28:12 (PDT)
Bamboozled, I noticed your list is almost word for word identical to the one in my sociology book. You might want to add the reference (since plagarism is unethical and illegal).

Try: Ng, 1998:42 and Chan, 1999.
seeing your perspective
   Sunday, March 23, 2003 at 12:49:47 (PST)
Parents should encourage their kids to do volunteer work, get involved with community events, help the needy....to be less self-fulfilling and more active in the affairs of the human race.
Bot
botr70@yahoo.com    Saturday, March 01, 2003 at 19:40:59 (PST)
I know personally several "kids" (who are mostly now grown up) whose creative desires and artistic ambitions were quashed by well-meaning, but misguided parents. The circle of friends of my parents were mostly immigrants from humble beginnings, who through their own hard work and perseverance, carved out their own slice of the American dream here.

Of course, they couldn't see anything wrong with the path they had so boldly blazed, and that things like sports, art, and other activities that did not directly affect one's grades were distractions that should be minimized. The only approved type of non-scholastic activity was playing a musical instrument.

For the most part, all these "kids" went on to productive adult lives, but many still regret that they did not participate more fully in the peripheral experiences that make a life fuller and more enjoyable.
"B" as in "bictory"
   Thursday, December 12, 2002 at 23:06:12 (PST)
Hi Curious girl,
Well, being that our little boy is only 15 months old, we are still in the "raising" process.

We do expose him to both cultures, my husband speaks to him in English and Chinese and when I count or say things, if I know the words in Chinese, I will point to the object and then say it in both languages.

So far, he has not dealt with the prejudice or the identity issues that come with being a , for lack of better term, Hapa child, but I am trying to prepare myself by reading different experiences .

I have just written a draft for a bi-cultural kids book to bind for him for Christmas explaining where mommy and daddy came from and some of the different things their cultures have and his favorite things from each culture.

I do think we are lucky to live in a huge multicultural area as DC, so he is around many different races and mixes. Check out some fo the Hapa sights online and they have some great articles written by Hapa children and adults on growing up.
hannybunbun
   Friday, October 25, 2002 at 10:32:17 (PDT)
Is there anyone here that is a member of an Asian/White marriage that could offer their experiences on how they have raised mixed children?
curious girl
   Sunday, June 23, 2002 at 18:09:12 (PDT)
How can I up my reading speed?
All of a sudden too much to read
   Thursday, March 14, 2002 at 23:26:02 (PST)
Here's a joke to add some humour into this subject (and no offense intended):

How to be a Perfect Chinese Parent (from the second generation perspective)

1. Be a little more lenient on the 7PM curfew.
2. Don't ask where the other point went when your child comes home with a 99 point grade on his/her report card.
3. Don't "ai-yoh" loudly at your kid's dress habits.
4. Don't blatantly hint about the merits of Hah-phoo (Harvard), Yale-uh (Yale), Stan-phoo (Stanford), and Emeh-I-Tee
(MIT).
5. Don't reveal all the intimate details of your kid's life to the entire Chinese community.
6. Don't ask your child, "What are you going to do with you life" if he/she majors in a non-science field.
7. Don't give your son a bowl haircut or your daughter two acres of bangs.
8. Don't try to set your kid up on a date in anticipation of their poor taste or inept social skills.
9. Incorporate other phrases besides "Did you study yet?" into your daily conversations with your children.
10. Don't ask all your kid's friends over the age of 21 if they have a boy/girlfriend yet.

How to Be a Perfect Chinese Kid (from the first generation perspective)

1. Score 1600 on the SAT.
2. Play the violin or piano on the level of a concert performer.
3. Apply to and be accepted by 27 colleges.
4. Have three hobbies: studying, studying, and studying.
5. Go to a prestigious Ivy League university and win enough scholarship to pay for it.
6. Love classical music and detest talking on the telephone.
7. Become a Westinghouse, Presidential, and eventually a Rhodes Scholar.
8. Aspire to be a brain surgeon.
9. Marry a Chinese-American doctor and have perfect, successful children.
10. Love to hear stories about your parents' childhood...especially the one about walking 7 miles to school without shoes.

Did you like that? Smile.

Bamboozled
   Wednesday, January 23, 2002 at 14:09:59 (PST)

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