|
|
|
|
|
GOLDSEA |
ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
Truth About Asian American Mothers
noble, selfless woman who swallows hardship and drinks tears to put away every tasty morsel for her beloved offspring. She is the omnipresent nurturing bosom, a bottomless well of encouragement and sympathy, the tirelessly cooking and cleaning hands.
The dark side only comes to light when an offspring betrays the filial impiety to defy her will on any life decision. The saint transforms into an implacable fury tormenting her offspring with bitter nagging, violent tantrums, spectacular public outbursts, followed by a bone-chilling show of indifference.
So say some.
In fairness, mothers of all stripes have been accused of saddling kids with the hopes and regrets spilling over from their own lives. For example, Jewish mothers too have been depicted as loving tyrants bent on controlling their offspring's choice of schools, careers and mates. But no example of maternal domination seems to match the Asian mother for the intensity of her will to own her children's lives.
But how much of such traditional notions of Asian motherhood has survived the transpacific crossing? Have Asian American mothers evolved away from the prevailing stereotypes of Asian mothers -- for better and worse?
This interactive article is closed to new input.
Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
CONTACT US
|
ADVERTISING INFO
© 1996-2013 Asian Media Group Inc
No part of the contents of this site may be reproduced without prior written permission.
|
|
|
|
WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:58:50 PM)
My mom has her good and bad points on many of the same issues.
Good: She watches our daughter while my husband and I are at work. She loves her to death and always wants to be with her, care for her and play with her.
Bad: Anytime we ask her to watch Helena for us to have a night out as husband and wife, she yells at me, saying we're being selfish, bad parents who don't care about her granddaughter.
Good: She had no problems with my dating and marrying a Caucasian man, being very open to him and his family and doing everything to make him feel comfortable with us.
Bad: She will criticize him when she sees him eating American food sometimes, saying he's going to be fat when he gets old or criticize him when she thinks he's playing too roughly with Helena, despite Helena laughing, smiling and being happy with her daddy.
Good: She will always invite us, my sister and brother-in-law, even Hank's parents and sister, to dinner and cook up a big ol' batch of potstickers, rice, etc. and feed everyone like crazy.
Bad: She will then berate my younger sister in Chinese in front everyone about how she's so whiny and let's her husband tell her what to do too much.
Bottom line: My mother is my mother. I have to take the good with the bad. Plus, Hank tells me stories about his mother (who comes across to me as the sweetest woman in the world) which tells me that that all mothers have certain tendencies to do the things you've described.
Julie Zhou Lewis
Monday, May 20, 2002 at 06:20:18 (PDT)
In their own crazy way they show us their love in care in methods alien to mainstream America. But it is these idiosyncracies that make Asian American mothers a valuable asset to the Asian American Community. For without them, the neurosis of obtaining sucess would not be imbue in the next generation.
AC Dropout
Monday, May 20, 2002 at 05:51:18 (PDT)
It's all true, it's all true.
I hated my mother for meddling in everything. She died last year. That's when I started remembering how much she used to do for me, all the things she sacrificed when she decided to keep me even though she didn't have a husband.
If you have living mothers, make the effort to look past the meddling to the love that makes her care so much about every aspect of your life. That will make it easier to take. And you won't feel so awful when you lose her.
Regretful Son
Sunday, May 19, 2002 at 21:02:21 (PDT)
Lets see now, my mom nags me all the time about studying. That's all
Tag
Sunday, May 19, 2002 at 19:36:19 (PDT)
NEWEST COMMENTS |
EARLIER COMMENTS
|