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ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
WHAT DO WF LIKE BEST ABOUT AM?
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:52:02 PM)
hen many people see a pretty white woman with a good-looking Asian man the question that pops into their heads is "Why's she with him?" more often than "Why's he with her?"
It's only natural. We've been told so often about the desirability of white women that we simply presume that an Asian man too would find a pretty white women desirable. But we are left to guess at her possible motives for being with him. Not that there aren't hundreds of thousands of handsome, charming and successful Asian men who, by all rights, should be attractive to women of any race. But we are all too aware that American society has built up many negative preconceptions about Asian men that would take extraordinary consideration, some special X factor, to overcome.
The many examples of famous AM/WF couples (Mr/Mrs Yo-Yo Ma, Ming Tsai, Scott Oki, Charles Wang etc), don't really help, merely reinforcing the common presumption that the AM must be wealthy and able to provide an exceptional degree of financial security, material comfort or social status. Another common suspicion is that he must be unusually charming, cultured or sexually gifted. Then there's the old standby -- that the woman must have some odd fixation on Asian men or Asian culture.
Of course intellectually we know better. Just as there are many independent-minded Asian men who see through blonde bimbo stereotypes to the real qualities of white women, there are white women who ignore stereotypes about Asian men. Which leads to the question: What's the real draw? Is it the black hair? educational level? smooth skin? cultural values? upslanting eyes? personality and character traits? Here's a chance for white women who love Asian men to set the record straight.
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WHAT YOU SAY
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Derek:
Dude, that is twisted! It is exactly the fact that language is so powerful and convey the emotions and intent of people that make certain words offensive to certain people. When people use language offensive to Asians and you think nothing of it, it serves to solidify the racist elements in our society. Sure, there are some people who use naively use certain words without offensive intent; those can be dealt with accordingly by instruction on the social connotations and racist history of such language. Naive and "good-natured fun" using seemingly harmless language have a way of growing into racist jokes and remarks--witness little kids making fun of others (ching-chong noises and making slanty eyes) growing into adults making racist jokes, spreading stereotypes, and bashing Asian countries.
AM Jedi
Tuesday, July 30, 2002 at 16:26:15 (PDT)
Although I usually prefer Korean women, sometimes I meet a white girl who's just so cool I have to ask her out. Sometimes they do look at me weird like, "uhh... yeah right", but there are those who are intrigued to see what an Asian guy has to offer... and I never disappoint. ;-)
MJK
Monday, July 29, 2002 at 19:05:44 (PDT)
In my humble opinion, one should choose what offends them personally and what does not. Is one word or tv show or movie "supposed" to offend a whole group of people? If you're offended by the term "Oriental" then make a point of saying "Excuse me but I prefer to be called Asian-American", it's well within your rights. Everyone deserves basic respect from others. I sometimes don't know what the correct term to refer to black people is, whether it's "black" or "African-American". I would leave it up to them to decide which they prefer to be called, as not all blacks come from Africa.
curious girl
Monday, July 29, 2002 at 14:00:53 (PDT)
On the subject of "Asian" vs. "Oriental":
I remember one time, when I used the word "negro," an African American became very angry. It is a correct term in the context that it was used, and the dictionary meaning was not derogatory at all, but it didn't matter. She was offended and nothing anyone said could change her mind.
Another time, I used the term "WASP" and a White male friend got really upset. When asked why, he said WASP meant "White Anglo Saxon Protestant Pig." Now wouldn't that require an extra "P" in the acronym? Again, it didn't matter. He was determined to be upset no matter what.
What's the point? The point is that these people above are too easily influenced by the use of language. And why should that be? Language is a tool invented by humans to be used by humans. Words serve us. We decide what they mean. They have no power of their own beyond what we assign them. We are the ones who possess power over language. The people in my examples didn't understand that. They treated language as something that had power over them.
It is the same with "Asian" versus "Oriental." When people use either one of them, the term itself never offends me, because I am the master of language and I have total control over the meaning I choose to perceive in words. The content of what they're trying convey *may* offend me, but not the trivial matter of specific word usage.
Derek
Monday, July 29, 2002 at 11:49:14 (PDT)
speaking finger:
I have to agree with "Deng Ai"...
I feel that people like to go out of their way to find/label things as offensive...just so that they can make a statement...
"Oriental"...Honestly I doubt that it is really that big of a deal...
Don't dig too deep into any word...you won't find treasures...
Larrii Kong...Deng Ai's FOB younger sister...
Friday, July 26, 2002 at 12:46:09 (PDT)
"Terms like chink, gook, and slant eye are meant to offend, whereas oriental is not. Don't tell me you can't tell the difference between a compliment and an insult."
dude, you're either FOB (which the name deng ai no doubt is) or you've been smoking crack if you don't know the connotation for which they're used under.
speak to the finger
Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 23:16:33 (PDT)
indoazn - thanks for the compliment. the gathering is a good idea, but i think most of you are west-side, in which case, have a great time. i wish i was still in sf.
iconic
ojanimal@yahoo.com
Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 20:52:19 (PDT)
Well it's been a long time since we actually discussed what WFs like about AMs.. any WFs here want to put in their two cents?
I myself have just always found Asian men attractive, of course not every single Asian man, but just in general. I've never had any "Asian fetish", I think you just can't control who you're attracted to. I'm attracted to Asian men both for their physical beauty and their strong characters.
curious girl
Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 15:25:09 (PDT)
Showtime,
Showtime maybe your right about the guy from 70's show, I was talking about the 80's show guy and he is asain. I never seen the 70's show guy before and so I don't, my fault dude.
But you look mixed or something, I don't think you asain. Maybe a little right?
3d
Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 15:24:14 (PDT)
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