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ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
WHAT DO WF LIKE BEST ABOUT AM?
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:52:01 PM)
hen many people see a pretty white woman with a good-looking Asian man the question that pops into their heads is "Why's she with him?" more often than "Why's he with her?"
It's only natural. We've been told so often about the desirability of white women that we simply presume that an Asian man too would find a pretty white women desirable. But we are left to guess at her possible motives for being with him. Not that there aren't hundreds of thousands of handsome, charming and successful Asian men who, by all rights, should be attractive to women of any race. But we are all too aware that American society has built up many negative preconceptions about Asian men that would take extraordinary consideration, some special X factor, to overcome.
The many examples of famous AM/WF couples (Mr/Mrs Yo-Yo Ma, Ming Tsai, Scott Oki, Charles Wang etc), don't really help, merely reinforcing the common presumption that the AM must be wealthy and able to provide an exceptional degree of financial security, material comfort or social status. Another common suspicion is that he must be unusually charming, cultured or sexually gifted. Then there's the old standby -- that the woman must have some odd fixation on Asian men or Asian culture.
Of course intellectually we know better. Just as there are many independent-minded Asian men who see through blonde bimbo stereotypes to the real qualities of white women, there are white women who ignore stereotypes about Asian men. Which leads to the question: What's the real draw? Is it the black hair? educational level? smooth skin? cultural values? upslanting eyes? personality and character traits? Here's a chance for white women who love Asian men to set the record straight.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
"True, I see a lot more WM's dating asian women, but why? Growing up with the Navy, I had seen my shares of vulnerable asian immigrant type women suffering domestic abuse in IR's. Never, have I observed that about asian men."
I'm gonna guess that you saw these women/couples in the 1970s/1980s. Well, thats when war brides were beginning to start families. That's also right after the "honeymoon" phase of blissful marriage ends, right? Like, 3-4 years into it, I mean. Those Asian women with redneck GIs had it coming to them. Their main attraction to these GIs was probably the promise of a new, 'freer' life from their wartorn countries, as misguided and ultimately dissappointing as their fantasies were.
From one prison to another they go....
Friday, August 23, 2002 at 00:10:37 (PDT)
Here's an interesting anecdote.
I was born in Asia, and spent part of my childhood there. When I was growing up, I would spend afternoons in front of the TV watching cartoons and eating cookies while my mother would leaf through her fashion/beauty magazines. There are Asian models, naturally, but most of the sponsored ads (Lancome, Estee Lauder, etc.) had white models in them. My mom would nudge me and ask, do you think she's (the white models) pretty? I would reply yeah, sure whatever, being the ignorant/innocent little boy that I was. What I remember now was that she replied "Yeah... white girls ARE very pretty after all...", like she was conceding defeat or something. That may not make sense, but thats what I unconsciously gathered from the tone of her voice.
I still wonder if this was a little glimpse of the inferiority complex that Asians of the old generation had back in the day, even in ASIA? Maybe it was the bombardment of the Western media images or an imprint left by colonialism. I dunno. I could also simply have been envy of the exotic. After all I've heard many white girl say that they wish they were as beautiful as Asian women were. But in was interesting.
Food For Thought.
Friday, August 23, 2002 at 00:07:01 (PDT)
truthexplorer,
Growing up in Asia and Canada unfortunately does not provide an escape from the media portraying the 'quintessential' WF.
Your thoughts on WF brunettes is a product of that, I'm afraid.
The WF ideal is spread throughout most of the world....
Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 18:44:53 (PDT)
Curious Girl wrote:
“Maybe this goes back to the nature/nurture question, are we a product of our genetic makeup/brain coding or are we influenced entirely by our environment? If an AM like truthexplorer grew up in Asia yet felt attracted to WFs, it would seem that that is just what he's attracted to. I wonder if most AMs find WFs attractive because they have been exposed to them all of their lives, both in real life and in the media.”
It’s most probably a combination of both. The media and the environment certainly has an effect, but I don’t think its effects can shift your view too far away from the inherent beauty template so to speak. I know a lot of AMs who are married to AMs would freely admits WFs are much more physically attractive than AFs.
Deng Ai
Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 13:53:19 (PDT)
Truth guy,
I've always had a thing for brunettes too, they didn't need to necessarily be white though. Maybe it has something to do with being around Asian brunettes (read mom)?
Tommee girl,
I think most of the abuse we get fed by the media is from generations past. What better way to keep someone from dating than by making them all appear to be wife beaters.
huu76
Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 10:50:03 (PDT)
Maybe this goes back to the nature/nurture question, are we a product of our genetic makeup/brain coding or are we influenced entirely by our environment? If an AM like truthexplorer grew up in Asia yet felt attracted to WFs, it would seem that that is just what he's attracted to. I wonder if most AMs find WFs attractive because they have been exposed to them all of their lives, both in real life and in the media.
curious girl
Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 08:12:45 (PDT)
Has there been any sociological studies of this imprinting for an ideal mate ?
I have always had this strange attraction to WF brunettes but I grew up in Asia and in Canada ?
Of course there are female beauty/cuteness which is consistent across all societies and races.
truthexplorer
renaissance9999@hotmail.com
Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 00:37:52 (PDT)
I grew up a Navy brat in Alabama, then my father was transfered to a base in California during my high school years. This is where I had my first exposure to asian men and am now living with a wonderful american japanese man whom I plan to marry. Until he came along, I've always been exposed to the "Redneck" way how women are treated. True, I see a lot more WM's dating asian women, but why? Growing up with the Navy, I had seen my shares of vulnerable asian immigrant type women suffering domestic abuse in IR's. Never, have I observed that about asian men.
tommee Beth
tommeesam@aol.com
Monday, August 19, 2002 at 23:03:36 (PDT)
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