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ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
WHAT DO WF LIKE BEST ABOUT AM?
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:52:00 PM)
hen many people see a pretty white woman with a good-looking Asian man the question that pops into their heads is "Why's she with him?" more often than "Why's he with her?"
It's only natural. We've been told so often about the desirability of white women that we simply presume that an Asian man too would find a pretty white women desirable. But we are left to guess at her possible motives for being with him. Not that there aren't hundreds of thousands of handsome, charming and successful Asian men who, by all rights, should be attractive to women of any race. But we are all too aware that American society has built up many negative preconceptions about Asian men that would take extraordinary consideration, some special X factor, to overcome.
The many examples of famous AM/WF couples (Mr/Mrs Yo-Yo Ma, Ming Tsai, Scott Oki, Charles Wang etc), don't really help, merely reinforcing the common presumption that the AM must be wealthy and able to provide an exceptional degree of financial security, material comfort or social status. Another common suspicion is that he must be unusually charming, cultured or sexually gifted. Then there's the old standby -- that the woman must have some odd fixation on Asian men or Asian culture.
Of course intellectually we know better. Just as there are many independent-minded Asian men who see through blonde bimbo stereotypes to the real qualities of white women, there are white women who ignore stereotypes about Asian men. Which leads to the question: What's the real draw? Is it the black hair? educational level? smooth skin? cultural values? upslanting eyes? personality and character traits? Here's a chance for white women who love Asian men to set the record straight.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
Lin from Georgia,
I agree with your comment about more WF's being stationed in military causing more WF/AM couples. I have an interesting story to share.
I had a friend(WF) in college who'd lived in Korea as a daughter of an US Diplomat there. She used to come over to my dorm room and kid about how we should start sleeping together. I was taken back since my experience with WF in my jr. high and high school years were just terrible. I used to get taunted by WF's sexually (I remember this girl who had a locker next to mine used to grab my butt and then run away). I couldn't seem to really pin point what they were trying to do, but they always seemed to want to sexually tease me or try to dominate me in some way. So, obviously I've had bad reaction to WF, although most of my crushes on women happened to be white. Looking back at it now, I think I should have given my friend a chance to get to know me and even love me perhaps. But, how I was supposed to do that when I had baggage growing up with
women who used to taunt me?
I am getting better now, and hope that one day I can really let a WF get to know me and love me, if she show interest.
Cali AM
Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 12:28:05 (PDT)
the hanged one,
Aw come on, you can't seriously tell me that every single white male you see looks exactly alike? Believe me, I think Asian men are incredibly attractive, but I still find white, black, Indian, etc. men attractive too. No one race has a corner on beauty.
curious girl
Sunday, August 25, 2002 at 19:14:12 (PDT)
Hannybunbun,
I agree w/ your point about liking what's different. Whites are the most curious (aesthetically) group of people on the planet. Eye and hair colour vary so much, while the rest of the world is kind of stuck with dark hair/brown eye combinations. It makes you stand out more (hence a lot of men's obsessino w/ blondes). Anyway, it is interesting, but attraction still relies on personal preference.
huu76
Sunday, August 25, 2002 at 18:23:56 (PDT)
honestly, the reason why i think i'm attracted to AM more than WM is because WM all look alike - pasty faced, blond, and blue eyed. they're everywhere.
the hanged one
Saturday, August 24, 2002 at 01:46:00 (PDT)
Here's an observation by somebody who lives in a big military town. Most of the WM-AF marriages are the result of military men being stationed in Asian countries while they're in their early twenties. Now that we've got women in the military, the reverse is starting to happen. WF soldiers stationed in
K(C)orea in their early twenties are marrying asian men.
Lin from Georgia
Friday, August 23, 2002 at 16:19:45 (PDT)
Dear Editor,
What is it that's fabulous about Asian men? It's everything you said. AND it's the cheekbones - don't forget the cheekbones. AND the square jaw. AND the thick, occasionally unruly hair. The mildly misbehaving hair is the perfect contrast to the self-control and the frequently reserved, thoughtful cautious personality. Now, I'll admit some of this is stereotyped. Not all asian men are reserved and cautious. Witness Takeshi Honda, Kim Byung-Hyun, Tsuyoshi Shinjo, and I'm sure many others. But I have to admit I'm SERIOUSLY hooked by the quiet, thoughtful, controlled face and the thick hair with a few locks determined to do their own thing.
Lin from Georgia
Friday, August 23, 2002 at 15:56:27 (PDT)
Curious girl, that is an interesting subject you brought up.
My Asian brother-in-law told me that he had always thought that white females were the most beautiful. His own preference, not a judgement call from me, by any means. When I asked him why, he said he thought it was because when he was growing up in Hong Kong, Madonna was everywhere and there were so many pictures of her and he thought that her blond hair and blue eyes were so unique and beautiful.
He is married to a wonderful and beautiful Asian woman.
My husbands cousin was dating a Korean man and she caught him looking at me at dinner once. I was pretty oblivious until I overheard some conversation and said "Excuse me?" since they were staring at me. She told me that his favorite color of eyes were blue..now mind you I would never check out another person in front of my significant other as he did!....but I think the whole thing is that sometimes we like what we are different from.
I think my BIL was influenced partly because of media exposure too when he was growing up. The West does have a huge impact on setting standards of beauty whether we agree on it or not.
I personally think dark hair and brown eyes are so pretty!They are my favorite. But my SIL almost flipped out when I changed my hair darker once...she said "Why would you want to do THAT?" like it was a horrible thing to have dark hair. And I love her pretty black hair!
hannybunbun
Friday, August 23, 2002 at 13:20:21 (PDT)
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