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ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
WHAT DO WF LIKE BEST ABOUT AM?
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:51:59 PM)
hen many people see a pretty white woman with a good-looking Asian man the question that pops into their heads is "Why's she with him?" more often than "Why's he with her?"
It's only natural. We've been told so often about the desirability of white women that we simply presume that an Asian man too would find a pretty white women desirable. But we are left to guess at her possible motives for being with him. Not that there aren't hundreds of thousands of handsome, charming and successful Asian men who, by all rights, should be attractive to women of any race. But we are all too aware that American society has built up many negative preconceptions about Asian men that would take extraordinary consideration, some special X factor, to overcome.
The many examples of famous AM/WF couples (Mr/Mrs Yo-Yo Ma, Ming Tsai, Scott Oki, Charles Wang etc), don't really help, merely reinforcing the common presumption that the AM must be wealthy and able to provide an exceptional degree of financial security, material comfort or social status. Another common suspicion is that he must be unusually charming, cultured or sexually gifted. Then there's the old standby -- that the woman must have some odd fixation on Asian men or Asian culture.
Of course intellectually we know better. Just as there are many independent-minded Asian men who see through blonde bimbo stereotypes to the real qualities of white women, there are white women who ignore stereotypes about Asian men. Which leads to the question: What's the real draw? Is it the black hair? educational level? smooth skin? cultural values? upslanting eyes? personality and character traits? Here's a chance for white women who love Asian men to set the record straight.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
Asian men like white/latin/persian women mainly for their attractive facial features and better developed (i.e., mature) bodies. Hair color (blonde, red, brown or otherwise) really does not matter much to Asian men.
Aloha
Sunday, September 29, 2002 at 03:25:27 (PDT)
[207.167.96.75]
I think it's ridiculous that you say "American society has built up many negative preconceptions about Asian men." Society just observed the behavior of many Asian men and called a spade a spade.
I'm a White female married to an Asian man. I was very hesitant to get involved with him, not because of his size, skin color or straight hair. I was hesitant because I myself had observed the behavior of many Asian men and was decidedly turned off. Their chauvinism and Confucianist ideas were totally bizarre and gross to me. They expected women to be subservient. It was insulting to me.
However, I happened to meet one who was enlightened and a feminist.
We're blissfully happy. But to this day, I have yet to meet more than a handful of other Asian men that I would even consider going out with, because of their anachronistic views of this as a man's world.
Whitie chick
Friday, September 27, 2002 at 19:45:24 (PDT)
[12.86.31.79]
at the risk of getting flamed, WTF is with all this narcissistic complex on this board? you fellas are acting like a bunch of spoiled super-models; wah,wah am i pretty enough, what's my rating, judge my picture. maybe all the bigotry about us asian guys being gay has their problems with you! i've never seen guys who're more into themselves and get angry at each other to judge pictures then outside of the gay circle than you guys. GROW UP! looks don't mean a thing if you're mature and, yes, TRULY CONFIDENT about who you are as a person. if somebody asks for your picture, then send it private, but posting here on the board and getting worked-up over one another on who's more pretty is just SOO immature.
but don't listen to anything from the...
villageidiot
Thursday, September 26, 2002 at 13:02:00 (PDT)
[65.184.81.113]
More comments about my look is welcome. BTW, I took those pictures in Tokyo, Japan.
ttyxterm
ttyxterm@hotmail.com
Thursday, September 26, 2002 at 01:49:50 (PDT)
[12.236.84.47]
All Handsome AM and All Gorgeous WF,
In one of my earlier posts, I said "I'm NOT ugly!" Well, I really don't have a clear idea about how good-looking or bad-looking I am. So I need your help. I have put up a website that only has 3 pictures of mine.
http://www.geocities.com/iouwonderful/
Could you take a look at them and email to tell me what you think about my look in a scale of 1 to 10? In your email, please let me know if you are a AM or WF. I assume men and women judge look differently.
I have to thank "face it" for his inspiration! "face it", I have nothing against you. I just want to know more about how other people look at me. I just want to have some fun!
ttyxterm
ttyxterm@hotmail.com
Thursday, September 26, 2002 at 01:46:59 (PDT)
[12.236.84.47]
" ... a lot of WF has never thought about the possibility of going out with an AM. It is not that they are racists. It is just because they have never been approached by an AM before! So when a WF searches for her potential mate, she may simply just search for WM!"
Agreed. I'm a young white female who just woke up and smelt the coffee. I grew up in an area where there was next to no ethnic diversity (the country side). After my ex-boyfriend ran off and married a japanese girl he met online, I just seemed to realize that there were a lot more people in the world than 'white guys' - by that i mean there guys that think different, look different and act different. Kinda scary at first, then kinda nice.
Anything goes as long as the guy is nice and cute. I think some people prefer interacial relationships because the person they are dating does not fit the picture of the sterotypical person they hate. If you are of 'x' race and think of a slut, chances are the image that comes into your head is a 'x' race slut (assuming you are thinking generally and not of someone in particular). So, it is only natural for me to think that an asian guy is better.
Well, I've had my share of experiences and human nature tends to overrule any kind of cultural values or ideals. Every one 'asian' male is different. I think it is nice to date men of all kinds, or at least be friends and have a good time together. I am glad I have had the experiences I did, because now I have a better idea of who I can have a good time with. I am looking forward to getting married because I will choose someone I really like and someone with whom I can have a good time with.
I fantasize about asian guys because they are not the big white jerk I think of when I think of 'cheater' or 'liar' or 'looser'. Who knows how things will turn out for me. All I know is that I think my ideal guy *looks* asian - everything else is stuff I need anyway, like companionship and loyalty. I want a super-sexed cutie, ultra-loyal and mega-romantic guy! *sigh* Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me? ^^
SWF, 22 years old
nboudreau@canada.com
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 14:21:54 (PDT)
[24.222.155.247]
Iconic,
You are beautiful...
An Admirer
Monday, September 23, 2002 at 15:04:17 (PDT)
[63.251.83.104]
Iconic,
It is absolutely true that Ukranian and Russian women are gorgeous. In the college I'm in, there are lots of Russian, Ukranian, Polish, and etc. beauties. They are all gorgeous. White females of all nationalities are gorgeous. So are all women of all races.
Women in general are beautiful.
T.C.A. Mechanic
Saturday, September 21, 2002 at 08:11:36 (PDT)
[68.96.110.59]
Iconic,
You wrote: "if you're ugly, then you're f***ed."
Excuse me, but I'm curious how you reconcile this rather offensive statement with the way your own face looks.
Asian men should be supportive of one another in the common quest for female companionship. When you attack others, you only expose your own weakness.
Iconic ugly face & heart?
Friday, September 20, 2002 at 13:10:00 (PDT)
[207.214.44.150]
ttyxterm,
Then why the hell would you ever use onling dating websites if you know that you won't get any responses?
And even if you used it, why talk about it in here acting like it was such a big deal?
To me, it seems like you're too damn afraid to just walk up to white girls and talk to them.
face it
Friday, September 20, 2002 at 12:01:27 (PDT)
[128.61.67.29]
hey everybody -
i just got back from a trip to eastern europe. it was outrageous. we did vienna, budapest and prague.
if you want to see some unbelievably good-looking white women, go to prague or budapest.
the women will give you the ice queen treatment, unless you try to speak to them in their native language (i brought along a little book of phrases). if you look like you're trying, they'll be flattered and much friendlier.
go to prague if you can only visit one city. unfortunately, the jewish quarter was flooded when i was there so i didn't get the full experience. regardless, prague is the most beautiful city in eastern europe. i coulda stayed for a year.
here are some pictures from my trip:
photos.yahoo.com/ojanimal/
enjoy!
iconic
ojanimal@yahoo.com
Thursday, September 19, 2002 at 21:20:37 (PDT)
[172.133.6.47]
"When WFs get a little too much to drink, they are capable of doing anything"
uh, this goes for many females, regardless of race.
what's with the sweeping generalizations?
think, people, think.
iconic
ojanimal@yahoo.com
Thursday, September 19, 2002 at 20:56:29 (PDT)
[172.133.6.47]
ttyxterm -
damn, dude, you are everywhere. you reek of desperation. and you didn't need to mention that you are chinese - it's painfully obvious.
i'm not trying to be malicious, but, truthfully, you come off desperate and very fobbish, which are both no-nos.
just be yourself. but if you're ugly, then you're f*cked. you'll have to do a lot of work on your game. but don't lose hope - i've seen guys rolling with women they had no business with.
by the way, people, this isn't an internet personals site.
iconic
ojanimal@yahoo.com
Thursday, September 19, 2002 at 20:51:52 (PDT)
[172.133.6.47]
To "face it",
This is to reply to your post. I don't want to start an argument with you. This is the ONE and ONLY ONE response to your post from me!
I think you are too naive! Yes too naive! If I guessed right, you have NEVER ever used any online dating websites! There is one FACT/REALITY you have to know: Most guys, even WM, don't receive any response at all. It is especially rare that WF will response to AM just from looking at an AM's personal ad!
Let me explain to you why. First, a lot of WF has never thought about the possibility of going out with an AM. It is not that they are racists. It is just because they have never been approached by an AM before! So when a WF searches for her potential mate, she may simply just search for WM! Second, AM has the stereotype of being not interesting. It is difficult for an AM to ONLY write a person ad and be able to convince a WF that he is a guy who is worth her time to respond to!
"face it", I think you are the person who has to face the REALITY! Maybe you will understand better if you could do some experiments with online dating websites!
Again, Bay Area WF, I'm waiting for your replies!
ttyxterm
ttyxterm@hotmail.com
Thursday, September 19, 2002 at 18:29:22 (PDT)
[12.236.84.47]
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