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ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
WHAT DO WF LIKE BEST ABOUT AM?
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:51:58 PM)
hen many people see a pretty white woman with a good-looking Asian man the question that pops into their heads is "Why's she with him?" more often than "Why's he with her?"
It's only natural. We've been told so often about the desirability of white women that we simply presume that an Asian man too would find a pretty white women desirable. But we are left to guess at her possible motives for being with him. Not that there aren't hundreds of thousands of handsome, charming and successful Asian men who, by all rights, should be attractive to women of any race. But we are all too aware that American society has built up many negative preconceptions about Asian men that would take extraordinary consideration, some special X factor, to overcome.
The many examples of famous AM/WF couples (Mr/Mrs Yo-Yo Ma, Ming Tsai, Scott Oki, Charles Wang etc), don't really help, merely reinforcing the common presumption that the AM must be wealthy and able to provide an exceptional degree of financial security, material comfort or social status. Another common suspicion is that he must be unusually charming, cultured or sexually gifted. Then there's the old standby -- that the woman must have some odd fixation on Asian men or Asian culture.
Of course intellectually we know better. Just as there are many independent-minded Asian men who see through blonde bimbo stereotypes to the real qualities of white women, there are white women who ignore stereotypes about Asian men. Which leads to the question: What's the real draw? Is it the black hair? educational level? smooth skin? cultural values? upslanting eyes? personality and character traits? Here's a chance for white women who love Asian men to set the record straight.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
repost -
not trying to brown-nose...just stating my observations. i already have a girl.
JK -
i lived in taiwan for 5 years. mandarin was my first language. and i know the culture fairly well. it looks like you're the idiot.
iconic
Thursday, October 03, 2002 at 12:47:45 (PDT)
[63.251.83.104]
"Hey welcome back, youngster. How’s school going?"
obi-wan repost, now i am the master, fear the darkside! actually california is cool. i think i might actually stay here, probably to your chagrin. :D the atmosphere is differently a change for the better from the southeast.
darth villageidiot
Thursday, October 03, 2002 at 01:11:54 (PDT)
[65.184.81.113]
iconic,
"i would argue that the MAJORITY of asian men born and raised in asia demonstrate this chauvinistic behavior."
Have you lived in Asia? If not, I think you know nothing about what it's like over there. I don't give a damn if your dad treated your mom bad. What I care about is your stupid stereotypical thought. If you think many Asian men treat women as if they were their pets, you are an idiot.
JK
Wednesday, October 02, 2002 at 10:24:09 (PDT)
[128.61.67.29]
To: villageidiot
Hey welcome back, youngster. How’s school going?
Repost
Wednesday, October 02, 2002 at 02:40:50 (PDT)
[66.92.1.200]
To: iconic
“american-born asian men tend to be more enlightened”
Gee, here we go again, advertising yourself at the cost of your Asian brothers who weren’t born here in the US. But if your form of “enlightenment” is brown-nosing the next white girl, you’re definitely more “enlightened” than many of your Asian brothers, both Asia-born and America-born. It’s bad enough to hear non-Asian people belittling Asians; it’s a total shame to see an Asian belittling other Asians – just to butter-up to a woman.
“you ought to be trying to change reality through your own actions.”
The reality is that Whitie chick, as she claimed, is already married. Whatever butt-kissing you do won’t change that.
Repost
Wednesday, October 02, 2002 at 02:40:25 (PDT)
[66.92.1.200]
To: Whitie chick
“I happened to meet one who was enlightened and a feminist.”
You married a woman?
“They expected women to be subservient.”
I don’t know how you can say that we’re this way. In fact, many of us prefer having the woman on top.
Repost
Wednesday, October 02, 2002 at 02:39:35 (PDT)
[66.92.1.200]
my experience with AM has been nothing but completely pleasant and wonderful.
i've dated guys from Indonesia, Taiwan, China, Malaysia and Vietnam. all have been DIRECT imports except 1. i've not noticed any inequality in the way they treat women. maybe some of the experiences other WF have are in other areas of the country.
by the way....i live in austin,texas - so that might explain some of it. the city is full of intelligent, forward-thinking individuals.
anyway....i have found from my experience that AM seem to approach relationships with a general respect and are very upfront.
any thoughts on that?
wf-25
Tuesday, October 01, 2002 at 13:28:28 (PDT)
[66.90.196.221]
whitie chick said -
"I myself had observed the behavior of many Asian men and was decidedly turned off. Their chauvinism and Confucianist ideas were totally bizarre and gross to me. They expected women to be subservient. It was insulting to me."
what's wrong with that? she didn't say ALL asian men - she said MANY asian men. and depending on her circumstances, this statement may be ENTIRELY correct.
i've observed this behavior as well, although in my experience, american-born asian men tend to be more enlightened.
and by the way - this is the way that my dad treats my mom -- like . i would argue that the MAJORITY of asian men born and raised in asia demonstrate this chauvinistic behavior. i have observed on MANY occasions when i visit taiwan. asian cultures tend to be patriarchal. fortunately, i was born and raised in the US so i know better.
whitie chick stated her opinion based on her own experiences. stop flaming her because you refuse to accept reality. you ought to be trying to change reality through your own actions.
and read her statements carefully. MANY does not equal ALL. y'all need to take a course on logic.
iconic
ojanimal@yahoo.com
Tuesday, October 01, 2002 at 07:52:58 (PDT)
[63.251.83.104]
aznm -
i posted those pics because i thought other readers would enjoy seeing some of the sights of europe.
as i said in my post, i want to encourage people here to check out eastern europe not only for the ladies, but also for the sightseeing, etc. eastern europe often gets ignored because so many people want to do western, which is a shame.
i didn't put those pictures up to get rated. in my most recent post, i never asked to be rated either. i know i look good. the album is there so that people who want to look at the pictures from my trip, can. it's also there so that i can share the pics with my friends.
believe me -- my ego is not driven by my looks; it's driven by my record of academic, athletic, professional and social accomplishment. accordingly, and admittedly, i have a rather large ego, which i think not entirely unfounded. but i consider my looks incidental.
you don't have to look at the pictures. no one's forcing you to. several of the readers have written me individually in appreciation of the pictures, and have said that they will make eastern europe their next destination.
do i threaten you? speaking of emotional problems - you should look within. we are men of action...jealousy does not become us.
by the way - you didn't put up your email address so i couldn't write you personally. as well, you need to improve your written english -- otherwise, you come off as rather fobbish.
iconic
ojanimal@yahoo.com
Tuesday, October 01, 2002 at 07:28:12 (PDT)
[63.251.83.104]
Whitie Chick,
I am also married to an AM - and I have to say I have not in the least had your experience with AMs and certainly wonder where you live and in what kind of surroundings you are meeting these AMs you speak of.
I read your post to my husband who asked " If she thinks so little of Asian males, why in the hell did she marry one? And why does he tolerate her attitude towards his race ?"
I must admit to wondering the same...
HappyClam
Monday, September 30, 2002 at 19:31:34 (PDT)
[12.217.192.139]
"and the other guys who keep doing this, have severe emotional problems. I hope that you can truly begin to see it and get some psychological help for it."
i think it's a case of them overcompensating for feelings of inadequacy growing up asian and all the pressures and racism associated with being asian. heck i can say i understand the feeling coming from the same background, but come on it's the 21st century! join the rest of the world and get on with life and screw the negativity, life's too short for that. you think about it, in the long-run we're all going to be old and wrinkled (hopefully) so what does it matter where you are on 1-10? because one thing for sure you can look forward to is that we'll all end up 1 in old age, or if you're the die young and leave a beautiful corpse type, then for sure the worms and maggots will have their day with you. so with this reassuring thought, just go ahead and live everyday to the best you can and screw everything else that gets in the way of you being happy. all this BS with looks or social expectations or shyness is just BS, none of it means anything ultimately in life.
villageidiot
Monday, September 30, 2002 at 17:56:51 (PDT)
[65.184.81.113]
White Chick,
So I wonder how many white men truly accept your feministic ideals? Given that white men consider themselves so liberal, but still occupy 95% of the CEO posts, 100% presidential terms and the richest of top 50.
FOP
Monday, September 30, 2002 at 12:42:32 (PDT)
[139.95.250.2]
White Chick,
If you don't have a reasonable amount knowledge of Confucianism (knowledge acquired thru the biased western media doesn't count), don't blame Confucus in vain. The Bible blames the falling of mankind on a woman called Eve. You don't find it bizarre?
FOP
Monday, September 30, 2002 at 12:39:40 (PDT)
[139.95.250.2]
I don't think so, and Twistie,
You two are soooo right about chicks like Whitie Chick! Her SN is the PERFECT fit for her. Not all Asian men fit the categories and assumptions she puts us all in.
completely agree
Monday, September 30, 2002 at 10:23:59 (PDT)
[152.163.188.5]
Ionic,
Why are you still so concerned if people find you attractive or not? I have to agree with the Village Idiot. I don't see what the big deal is really. You are honestly worried whether people are happy with your looks. Yet, I have seen you post your pics on other sites as well and ask if they find you attractive. Don't YOU like your looks? Because that is the important thing right? I have seen you try to pretend like your so arrogant and pretend to be the conceited type. I doubt seriously that this is some attempts to only pump your 'ego'. I think there lies a deeper issue with you and the other men that keep asking us to rate your looks. If you will notice, the women here are not concerned. The women are confident in their own skin and aren't all caught up in everyone elses opinions. You Ionic and the other guys who keep doing this, have severe emotional problems. I hope that you can truly begin to see it and get some psychological help for it.
AznM
Sunday, September 29, 2002 at 23:26:43 (PDT)
[152.163.188.5]
Whitie chick,
Unbelievable. Just because you are married to an AM, you automatically receive a license to dog on all AMs? What behaviors are you talking about? How many AMs do you personally know? You can't just judge AMs based on assumptions. I am very liberated and believe in all women's rights. You prove to me that many WFs are still ignorant by judging a few AMs at a distance. We only make up less than 2% of the male population in the U.S., yet you stereotype us all. If I lived in China and met a few WFs, I would think they are a bunch of racist bitches.
I don't think so
Sunday, September 29, 2002 at 12:55:39 (PDT)
[66.19.193.97]
Whitie chick,
huh, oohhh kaaayy.
And who wrote this "American society has built up many negative preconceptions about Asian men." You're an irony in the making.
twistee
Sunday, September 29, 2002 at 11:33:46 (PDT)
[162.83.147.128]
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