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ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
WHAT DO WF LIKE BEST ABOUT AM?
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:51:57 PM)
hen many people see a pretty white woman with a good-looking Asian man the question that pops into their heads is "Why's she with him?" more often than "Why's he with her?"
It's only natural. We've been told so often about the desirability of white women that we simply presume that an Asian man too would find a pretty white women desirable. But we are left to guess at her possible motives for being with him. Not that there aren't hundreds of thousands of handsome, charming and successful Asian men who, by all rights, should be attractive to women of any race. But we are all too aware that American society has built up many negative preconceptions about Asian men that would take extraordinary consideration, some special X factor, to overcome.
The many examples of famous AM/WF couples (Mr/Mrs Yo-Yo Ma, Ming Tsai, Scott Oki, Charles Wang etc), don't really help, merely reinforcing the common presumption that the AM must be wealthy and able to provide an exceptional degree of financial security, material comfort or social status. Another common suspicion is that he must be unusually charming, cultured or sexually gifted. Then there's the old standby -- that the woman must have some odd fixation on Asian men or Asian culture.
Of course intellectually we know better. Just as there are many independent-minded Asian men who see through blonde bimbo stereotypes to the real qualities of white women, there are white women who ignore stereotypes about Asian men. Which leads to the question: What's the real draw? Is it the black hair? educational level? smooth skin? cultural values? upslanting eyes? personality and character traits? Here's a chance for white women who love Asian men to set the record straight.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
[Fear Factor Boost, your post was moved to the Asians on TV page. --Ed]
SWF in love with AM,
If you are into a man's "schlong", then I'd rather not be with such a woman. No offense, but I just find it too shallow for lust to be the basis of a relationship. Thanks for the compliment, but I think Asian guys can be loved for more than just that.
AM's hearts are also big
Monday, October 21, 2002 at 23:27:45 (PDT)
[64.130.235.33]
to "SWF 30 in love with AM",
God Bless you! Spread the good word for us!!!! Hehehehehe!
Viet guy in Houston
Monday, October 21, 2002 at 21:01:04 (PDT)
[66.25.51.190]
Hey 30SWF...
If you're with your Asian man, then you should leave the 'S' out of your name, no? Hehe... just wanted to point that out.
Btw, I also agree with the thing about the dick size thing. I'm a Korean American dude, a freshman in HS, and I'm 5'10" with size 12 feet. Which probably means I'll grow to be at least 6 feet. and you know they say about big feet... haha. I've fooled around with girls or touched myself, and when I'm big my wang is about the size of my hand, and my hand is exactly 7.75 inches (I measured it with a ruler). Yeah! I guess it's just me, or Asians these days are definately getting bigger. Most of my friends are not shorter than 5'9", and definately not skinny. I'll be honest, I haven't really had a girlfriend yet, but I look forward to it... I find white girls really cute. In california, surfer blondes are the way to go! =)
Just a Freshman.
Monday, October 21, 2002 at 15:45:46 (PDT)
[128.253.186.46]
Believe it or not, Many Asian men are well endowed, and some much more endowed than white men. I am hooked and I'm never going back to white again!
SWF 30 in love with AM
Sunday, October 20, 2002 at 22:23:01 (PDT)
[172.138.74.49]
I'm not going to mince words, and I am not going to say "I just like them because they're people, culture doesn't count".
I am a white woman who has often been attracted to Asian men *because* of my attraction to Asian culture in general. For one I'm a Buddhist. I haven't had any luck meeting white men who shared my beliefs -- WHO WEREN'T HIPPIES
But in general I am often attracted to men who have a strong cultural identity no matter *what* they are. I am often attracted to Europeans, East Indians etc. too for this same reason. Sometimes even Christian Midwesterners!!
Many Americans don't have a sense of cultural identity.
just me
Thursday, October 17, 2002 at 19:21:35 (PDT)
[207.62.229.164]
Mother Logic,
your comment was really inspiring. I really wish people would stop focusing so much on ethnicity and looks and would pay more attention on the inner person. I'm really happy that you've found so much happiness, it sounds like you struggled a lot and you never gave up. Good luck with everything
ck
Thursday, October 17, 2002 at 10:57:20 (PDT)
[168.215.249.48]
Mother Logic,
Your input are words of wisdom and words to live by. Thank you.
Viet guy in Houston
Tuesday, October 15, 2002 at 22:20:48 (PDT)
[66.25.51.190]
#1: Personality and character traits
#2: Cultural values
#3: Physical attributes
MHPz
Monday, October 14, 2002 at 20:39:53 (PDT)
[66.130.18.192]
Thanks for the inspirational post, now, how old is your daughter? Is she available? And you're right, I've always try to live my life to the fullest regardless of my parental pressures. They kinda gave up hope I'll marry a Corean girl. But after inital disapproving frowns they've gotten used to me dating white gals. Now they don't care. LOL!
Going my way?
Monday, October 14, 2002 at 19:27:05 (PDT)
[64.12.96.232]
I too am a white woman who has fallen for a Chinese guy. This relationship has just begun and he is the first Asian man I have ever dated. In fact I've only dated white men. Not because they are white but because I was attracted to them. Just as I am w/ my current guy. He was born in China, living here now - so I am a little nervous about what his and my own family are thinking right about now. However, I have fallen for him - he is probably the most handsome guy I have ever seen and so far he treats me no different than any other good guy I've dated! Maybe even better. He is very spiritual, so maybe that is why as well...
I really need to bring this up w/ him, but can anyone tell me how Chinese families feel about American women dating their Chinese sons?
I guess everyone is different and I will find out soon enough...
Cornflake Girl
Sunday, October 13, 2002 at 21:20:28 (PDT)
[152.163.189.170]
I am a WF in my late 40's. (old enough to be a mother to some of you). I grew up in a time/place where dating outside your nationality/race was unusual and inappropriate. It never occured to me. If I ever felt an attraction for someone not white, I would have probably thought there was something perverse in the moment. I married at 19 to a young white man. One child now in college. Divorced after 10 years of marriage when our child was 1 year old. I dated 2 or 3 men and then stopped dating for 20 years. I was 29 years old and attractive. I was happy being a mother, sister, etc. Of course, I was lonely for this aspect of life, but being a "good" mother was my life and desire. And, I never really came across anyone in those years who would have been the "right" person for me. I intended to date again "someday" when she grew up.
I met a man who was Japanese, a few years younger. Another odd thing which I never considered. It seemed "funky" to me somehow. I was very out of touch with the world of dating and romance.
This man made me laugh. Not just laugh, but really, really laugh. We talked quite a bit and had lunch. I had never thought of him as "Japanese" or "Asian." He was just "Louie."
I am in love with him for 4 years now. I don't care what anyone thinks. If you want to know why a "WF" would be in love with an "AM" I will tell you. Because he is kind and sexy and funny and when we are together we have so much fun. I slept with him and that was pretty terrific. But, I love him because he is the kindest man that I know, the most generous, and because it is just the way my heart feels. He acts gruff and aggressive at times, bossy, even. So are my brothers who are attorneys, so no big surprise to me. There is no explanation really. After 4 years, my heart is still filled with so much love. Frankly, it is still a strange thing for someone my age and it is for him, as well. Just a little. We may get married eventually. He lives in another city. Why would I want an Asian man? I wouldn't. I would want the best person and husband and that would be him. He was born and woke up to find himself asian. I was born and woke up to find myself white. Whatever our circumstances, we really were just infants who dealt with the life we were given. My advice to all young people is to make the very most of your life and discover what is important to you. It is your own journey. Love transcends culture and race. If it is true love, it is a blessing. If my daughter brought home a young man to marry and he was asian, I would only care that she was happy and they were good to each other and that both worked hard and took care of the other.
Mother Logic
Saturday, October 12, 2002 at 01:13:37 (PDT)
[172.192.95.46]
jeez iconic, i thought with all your online boasting you'd be some stud that would proudly represent us AM. You are ok to be fair. Turns out I as well as my male cousins are much more handsome than you. hahaha. Alpha Male in the other post is right. Physically at least you don't have too much of a claim to be alpha male at all, face wise at least. I ain't gay but i know what the real competition looks like literally. And no I ain't gonna be a fag and post my pic on here so don't bother asking for it. And to get something in wordwise for the topic of this forum, I think the WF/AM couples are increasing these days, been seeing very very good looking couples on campus lately. the women all sophisticated, beautiful and elegant, pretty eyes smiling along with their laughter on the arm of the handsome, confident asian brothers who represent the pride of our people. the cream of the crop. i dunno if i'd go for a white girl because of my desire for the women of my ethnicity, but those examples definitely were very very attractive and made a huge statement to me as well as anybody on campus.
abc guy
Monday, October 07, 2002 at 18:26:36 (PDT)
[65.184.91.9]
I think we, here are being a little too harsh on iconic. Let's all get back on topic and forget this whole incident. Deep down, iconic isn't forgetting his roots. It's within him. He's a good person, and I wish him well. From one brother to another.
appleman
Monday, October 07, 2002 at 16:03:32 (PDT)
[162.83.149.109]
I agree with the editors. Lets get back on the topic. Lets get away from the topic of ionic.
an AM
Monday, October 07, 2002 at 10:10:36 (PDT)
[64.12.96.6]
I think there is definitely a stereotype that Asian men are controlling of their women and treat them badly. I don't know how much of it is true or not, as I've never lived in Asia. I don't know how many people believe this or not. I do know that my Asian boyfriend treats me with the most love and respect in the world. Are there any White females here on this board that can offer experiences with dating Asian men, whether good or bad? Also, for those of you who have lived in or have been to Asia, what are women really treated like there?
just wondering
Monday, October 07, 2002 at 07:58:59 (PDT)
[207.183.117.60]
[Let's get back on topic -- what attracts WF to AM. --Ed]
Iconic,
You think Taiwan represents all of Asia? You think you're better than homeland Asians because you happened to be born in America. Well guess what buddy, that's not true. And your stereotypical thought that Asians generally treat their women worse in Asia is just plain stupid.
JK
Saturday, October 05, 2002 at 11:09:27 (PDT)
[128.61.67.29]
Ironic, do you think you are more enlightened than Asian males from Asia?
Asia
Friday, October 04, 2002 at 17:49:42 (PDT)
[65.29.15.34]
iconic,
Dude, can you say BANANA?
An Asian guy puting down his own culture and people is a BANANA, in my opinion.
You seem to think very highly of yourselves. Oh, well, we all know that those who talk too much really don't have much to show for. I know plenty of
Asian FOBs that would blow you out of the water with their charms, successes, looks and styles despites their funny accents and old-world, unenlightened views. More than a quarter of the people on this earth is Asian; therefore, it is quite presumptious of you to stereotype them all to make yourselves look better in the eyes of WF. I'm a third generation Asian American and I don't even think like you do. What is WRONG with you?.
If you jump all over this forum thinking that you are better than the rest of us, you are dead wrong, dude. You're probably ashame that you are Asian, right?. Maybe because your family situation was so disfunctional that you were not brought up properly. Grow up, man. WF are dime a dozen. You don't have to stoop so low to impress them.
Do you have an Asian friends, at all?.
Probably not.
Sicko
Friday, October 04, 2002 at 13:33:11 (PDT)
[144.189.248.170]
"i lived in taiwan for 5 years. mandarin was my first language. and i know the culture fairly well. it looks like you're the idiot."
What does you knowing mandarin have anything to do with you knowing the culture really well. It's there a correlation? And your father doesn't represent most or all of asian men, ok? I feel bad for your mom, if what your saying about yourself is true. And as for a course in logic, most don't mean all, it means most. And in this case the term most aren't correctly use.
LogicDude
Friday, October 04, 2002 at 12:21:40 (PDT)
[205.232.102.18]
iconic,
Just shut up man!! I think JK and repost are right. You should reread what repost wrote. He has some good points, and JK also has good point. I think every culture is some-what patriarchal, americans' included. Even though american cultural is consider most liberal. Your an idiot, shame on you.
2 kool
Friday, October 04, 2002 at 12:13:19 (PDT)
[205.232.102.18]
Ionic,
Just because you have lived in Taiwan and madarin was your first language does not change the fact that you are ignorant. The fact that you blatantly have nothing disrespect for your fellow asian brethren and culture makes you even more disgusting and worthless. I wonder how your WF feels that she in fact has a WM instead of an AM. Actually, I wonder how WF view that. For instance, what attracts me to WF are their differences. It would be weird dating a WF who think she an AF. Just like your situation. You are an AM that thinks hes a WM.
an AM
Friday, October 04, 2002 at 12:11:39 (PDT)
[205.188.208.10]
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