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ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
WHAT DO WF LIKE BEST ABOUT AM?
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:51:57 PM)
hen many people see a pretty white woman with a good-looking Asian man the question that pops into their heads is "Why's she with him?" more often than "Why's he with her?"
It's only natural. We've been told so often about the desirability of white women that we simply presume that an Asian man too would find a pretty white women desirable. But we are left to guess at her possible motives for being with him. Not that there aren't hundreds of thousands of handsome, charming and successful Asian men who, by all rights, should be attractive to women of any race. But we are all too aware that American society has built up many negative preconceptions about Asian men that would take extraordinary consideration, some special X factor, to overcome.
The many examples of famous AM/WF couples (Mr/Mrs Yo-Yo Ma, Ming Tsai, Scott Oki, Charles Wang etc), don't really help, merely reinforcing the common presumption that the AM must be wealthy and able to provide an exceptional degree of financial security, material comfort or social status. Another common suspicion is that he must be unusually charming, cultured or sexually gifted. Then there's the old standby -- that the woman must have some odd fixation on Asian men or Asian culture.
Of course intellectually we know better. Just as there are many independent-minded Asian men who see through blonde bimbo stereotypes to the real qualities of white women, there are white women who ignore stereotypes about Asian men. Which leads to the question: What's the real draw? Is it the black hair? educational level? smooth skin? cultural values? upslanting eyes? personality and character traits? Here's a chance for white women who love Asian men to set the record straight.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
Asian bubba
How is it possible to have a "mestiza"baby when you are Asian with a white girl? You're not Native American.
Get a clue
Wednesday, October 30, 2002 at 21:27:42 (PST)
[205.188.209.170]
eastern european girl,
I have once been a merchant vendor in Moscow. I was originally from Guangzhou, China. They are really prejudiced against Moslem peoples there. I really hate it when I was mistaken for Uzbek. But, it is worse when Armenians and Georgians get mistaken for Chechen.
dah sveedanyah
Tuesday, October 29, 2002 at 15:28:19 (PST)
[130.182.195.153]
There are so many types of Slavic beauty. You have your Poles/Czechs who look like Germans, the Russians that look like Swedes, the Southern Slavs (Hungary, Croatia, Bulgaria) that have Tatar (Turkic/Persian/Asian) blood, and Euro-Siberian mixes. As far as Europe goes, Slavic women are the most diverse in terms of facial features. And many are really hot.
Nice....!!
Monday, October 28, 2002 at 17:14:57 (PST)
[128.253.186.46]
eatern-european girl:
Czechs!!!! *DROOL*
Lol... j/k babes. But Czech women are very pretty. These eyes don't lie; I've been to Prague.
Nice....!!
Monday, October 28, 2002 at 17:11:08 (PST)
[128.253.186.46]
Adobo (Masarap yon pare ko),
I am also a Fil-Am married to a typical looking blonde, blue-eyed "puti." My parents wanted me to marry a "pinay." It took them a while before they realized that people are people no matter what. We've been together for four years (married for two) and we are having our first "mestiza" in five months. Good luck to you and your lady.
She was a barbie model and I am just your average-looking "pinoy." I asked her one time what attracted her to me. She said that I was respectful, honest, and all the positive stereo-typical characteristic of the asian man.
Asian Bubba
Monday, October 28, 2002 at 16:16:22 (PST)
[205.188.208.10]
Hmmm..
Well, I wish I knew. I'm one of those Asian males who is currently dating a blue eyed female. I've dated both Asian and Caucasian before, and honestly I don't know what it is about being Asian, but I can tell it does factor in. I believe that its virtually impossible to escape stereotypes completely. But thats not necessarily a bad thing (since when is being intelligent, well mannered and cautiously respectful negative?). As far as physically? Well, I am of average height (5'10). I have an athletic build, and the rest (hair, eyes, nose, cheekbones...etc) are pretty much aligned with the typical asian male.
I think that the biggest draws do come from the stereotype of being "smarter" with higher values toward education than other cultures (the woman I'm dating now has her masters), As well as the people who have dated me being just plain curious. In the end, I think it all factors in, and as with most things in life it's more about what you do with what you have than what you've been given in the first place.
Lu
SuperLu@juno.com
Monday, October 28, 2002 at 00:49:13 (PST)
[67.195.61.190]
Hi Emma,
As a fil-am currenly involved with an irish-am woman, I think I understand the fear real or imagined that parents feel for their son who is in a relationship with someone not of the same ethnicity.
Their concern is more about cultural clashes that will be involved and less than an issue about race. Speaking for myself, I had a conservative upbringing where you respect and obey parents without question and the also told me to strive to become a model citizen. In my parents view, to be involved with a foreigner, they were afraid that I will compromise the Asian values that they imbibe to me and my siblings. They feel that Western culture is too liberal. It took some effort to convince them that my girlfriend is a good person and that judging a person based solely on stereotypes on race and culture will make them just as guilty of racism as other people that had pre-judged them. Speaking of stereotypes, they also have this mistaken impression that white women are sexually liberated and loose, that she will just use me and leave me eventually. I have to tell them that being sexually loose is not a monopoly of white women only, there are just as many sexually liberated Asians as well.
Don't be swayed by people who spoke ill will about your relationship. I've heard just about every put down from "friends" and relatives that our relationship will not work.....but we're as strong as ever. We've been together for four years now (with plans of getting married next year), I guess we have proved all the naysayers wrong.
Keeping a relationship and making it grow is tough as it is, moreso if it's an interracial relationship. It takes a strong commitment, love, respect and communication to make it work. It's difficult, but it can be done...........
Adobo
Sunday, October 27, 2002 at 23:29:49 (PST)
[210.16.69.102]
From Prague to Moscow: no, I am originally from Czechoslovakia :-)))), but yeah, I like Russians, I have a lot of friends who are originally from the former Soviet Union (some are not Russian). And I like Russian folk culture. I don't like Russian Mafia (a lot of our - meaning primarily eastern-europe incl. Russia - problems would be solved if they didn't exist...sorry just had to point it out). Are we good model materials and sexy? Thanks, that's great. I only hope that's not the only reason you guys like us also... :-) Otherwise thanks for your compliment. I have to say I share your sentiments on this one, one of my favourite celebrities is Katia Gordeeva, she is a Russian figure skater and I think she is so pretty! So is Oksana Baiul, she is another skater from Ukraine. But other European (and non-European) girls can be pretty too. Beauty, really, is a subjective thing. But for me, personally, yeah Russian and Slavic and Hungarian girls seem very pretty. And guys also. How about you, where are you from? Have you been to Europe?
Nashville girl, I agree with you! Your post seems to be very thoughtful and intelligent. I think that most important in a relationship is mutual love and respect, and like you say, this is more important than the ethnicities of the two partners. As long as there is mutual love and understanding, I think one doesn't need to worry too much. Problems can arise when the two ethnicities sometimes start to conflict... but if the two partners are intelligent and genuinly care about each other, they should be able to resolve their differences without too much pain. I wish good luck to you and your husband. Take care everyone,
eastern-european girl
Sunday, October 27, 2002 at 21:39:12 (PST)
[64.228.36.61]
Why cant I, as a white woman, be attracted to and love who I choose regardless of what ethnic background he may have? A genuine, kind, loving, honest man is rare these days.. and if I find one .. and he happens to be asain.. who cares?? I dont see what the big deal is, myself.
I dont think either my AM husband or I should have to justify our relationship to others .. and .. how dare they even question us?!?!
I hope there are men and women of every background who agree with me.
NashvilleGirl
Sunday, October 27, 2002 at 03:36:10 (PST)
[204.30.58.215]
east-european girl,
Are you Russian? I must say that of all white girls I have seen, they are by far one of the more hot and prettier ones. They are all model material and in good shape. They know how to dress and take care of themselves even more so than the white girls of USA and Western Europe.
From Prague to Moscow
Saturday, October 26, 2002 at 23:34:50 (PDT)
[64.130.235.33]
I happen to like blondes. I don't like the big titted ones with bad tans and tattoos, a la Pam Anderson, but I do like the gentle innocence that a cute blonde face portrays. Esp. if she has brown or green eyes. Blue eyes (esp. very intense blue or gray-blue) sometimes give off the impression of coldness. Of course, you can't judge a person's character by hair color or looks, but that is the first initial gut reaction I get.
Blondes have 'warm' faces
Saturday, October 26, 2002 at 23:15:34 (PDT)
[128.253.186.46]
I love my fil-am fiance, who was my childhood sweetheart and first boyfriend. It never phased me that he was asian - I just liked the way he looked and treated me and his good heart. Now we're grown up and engaged but I wonder why his parents (who always liked it when we dated when we were very young) are suddenly having trouble accepting me as the future mother of their grandchildren -- too many negative stereotypes against white American women? Please shed some light for me!
Emma
Friday, October 25, 2002 at 13:57:24 (PDT)
[192.147.58.6]
Eastern European-Girl, what nationality are you;if you don't mind me asking. I think Scandinavian women are so sexy.
Far East in America
Friday, October 25, 2002 at 12:14:45 (PDT)
[138.16.131.240]
"AM's hearts are also big " thanks for your input; it's good to see that there are still some people out there who keep some sense in their mind.
eastern-european girl
Thursday, October 24, 2002 at 16:15:38 (PDT)
[64.228.102.121]
White Females are as human as every other women.
Well, white women do find asian men attractive. I'm just an average guy about 5'9 and have charmed many white females. It is not to show off. All you need is charm and charisma by being nice and cheerful to them as you would with an Asian woman or Latin woman and Black women. If you talk to them, you will discover that there are not alot of difference between them. I'm currently in a relationship with three gorgeous white females and have not even spent a dime to get a kiss. I did not mean for it to happen this way, but it just did. They liked me so, I gave it a chance. It's complicated and I can't go over every detail. WF's are good kissers as if you could almost feel your hearts intertwined into one heart beat. And they are not materialistic.
Just a Freshman,
I hear you man. Just go for it! I must warn you though that in some relationships with some white females you will experience pressure from their parents. My ex-girlfriend never even told her parents about me because they just wanted her to date caucasians. Some parents don't care what race their daughters date, but some do so please remain calm when their parents don't like you. When she likes you, she will choose you not who her parents want.
Peace...
Peace out
Tuesday, October 22, 2002 at 19:37:32 (PDT)
[68.96.110.59]
SWF 30 in love with AM,
Thanks for the comment. But... is this how most women think. Are they so shallow for lust to soely basis this on relationship? And only stick with the guy for this reason. Is this the only reason why you wouldn't go back to white men. I'm just courious about how most girls think. And "YES, I'm pretty BIG, and not weak either.
courious mind
Tuesday, October 22, 2002 at 09:53:03 (PDT)
[162.83.150.43]
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