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GOLDSEA |
ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
The White Stuff: Whiting Wongs & Wonging Whites
hey're our neighbors, buddies, allies, enemies, clients, bosses, employees, lovers and spouses. Many of us have more daily contact with Whites than with other Asians. Consequently, we often feel we know them better than they can ever know us. Maybe that's at the heart of our frustration as Asian Americans. They are as ubiquitous and pervasive as the air we breath while to them it seems we are eternal curiosities, outsiders, exotics.
Bridging the gap?
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And so we sometimes find ourselves lashing out with nasty generalizations about the people we blame for all that seems wrong with American society and, more specifically, our place in it. They are ignorant, shallow, boorish, smelly, sneaky, treacherous, malicious, dumb, weird -- in short, all the labels we feel have been so unfairly slapped on us.
But even as we hurl such epithets we cannot forget the countless acts of kindness, warmth, generosity, friendship, passion and love that we have enjoyed from these very same people. As our anger and frustration subside, we recognize that our fates are inextricably intertwined, not merely in sharing a world, a nation, a society, an economy, a culture -- but often in sharing even our most intimate lives. One in five of today's Asian American marriages are to Whites. And contrary to the imbalance of the past, the ratio of new AM/WF marriages to new AF/WM marriages is steadily approaching unity.
So we naturally have a strong interest in decoding the other side of the equation. Understanding is a two-way street. Fortunately, there are Whites who have enough interest in us as individuals to share their perspectives on us and on their interactions with us. This page is for those who -- as corny as it may sound -- have chosen to serve as bridges.
This interactive article is closed to new input.
Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:51:38 PM)
ttyxterm,
¡§It is difficult for an AM to ONLY write a person ad and be able to convince a WF that he is a guy who is worth her time to respond to!¡§
Then maybe you should try to approach them personally. It sounds like you¢¥re afraid of it, but don¢¥t worry it doesn¢¥t always work out for every guy, and when it doesn¢¥t just think that you found one more way of how not to talk to women.
Talking to women is like learning how to ride a bike, you need to practice a lot and fall hard many times until you learn how to keep a smooth ride.
P.S You do sound a little desperate, funny thing is that girls seem to approach me most when I¢¥m not really looking, they can sense that
Good Luck
TKS
Monday, September 23, 2002 at 06:16:02 (PDT)
[196.40.43.75]
moron -
i didn't say he was ugly, i said that IF he was ugly, then he's f***ed.
i was trying to give him constructive advice. and by the way - i have no weakness.
i just call 'em like i see 'em - sorry, but that's the way this world works. looks matter to most people. and there's nothing i can do about it except to keep looking good.
yeah, i'm ugly. keep believing that.
fortunately for me, the majority of the female 18-30 demographic doesn't think so, if my dating life is any indication.
you said "Asian men should be supportive of one another in the common quest for female companionship"
are you kidding me? so i should support other asian men, just because they're asian? does that imply that i should not support other men because they are not asian?
i don't support anyone on the basis of race. neither do i discount anyone. i evaluate people on an individual basis. i don't call other asian dudes my "brothers" because, other than the fact that we may have similar facial characteristics, we often have nothing else in common.
whether you know it or not, you are a bigot. your belief that asian men should support each other serves only to perpetuate america's perception of asian isolationism.
you make me sick.
iconic
Sunday, September 22, 2002 at 17:41:21 (PDT)
[172.142.92.218]
Hank,
you wrote
"Since the Bay area is around 40% Asian, they can "afford" to hire only Asians because their numbers are large enough to allow this."
That makes a lot of sense dude. Good rationale. Thanks for the info.
Hey you write really cool posts. Keep up the good work.
Political Observer
Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 14:11:50 (PDT)
Just Curious,
there is a large population of asians in san francisco, oakland, fremont, vallejo, san jose and they're pretty well dispersed in san mateo county.
the restaurants in san francisco are very much asian owned and serviced.
It doesn't bother me; I was just wondering.
Political Observer
Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 14:09:16 (PDT)
I mistyped some numbers:
It's around 250,000-300,0000 in a metro area (includes surrounding counties/suburbs) with a population of just over 6 million.
Hank Lewis
Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 06:43:54 (PDT)
Political Observer:
Different regions have different business cultures, even among Asian owned Businesses.
In Houston proper, Whites are a plurality (largest minority) in a city with no single-race majority. Asians are the fastest growing minority in Houston, but they are still the smallest minority (around 5.5% in the city limits, around 7% in the Metro area, numbers around 600,000-800,000 in a metro population of just over 2 million). Necessity and Economics dictate the need for hiring non-Asian workers in successful Asian owned businesses which are too large to have only family members working in.
Since the Bay area is around 40% Asian, they can "afford" to hire only Asians because their numbers are large enough to allow this.
Hank Lewis
Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 06:42:33 (PDT)
Are the Bay Area Asians concentrated in one area. They may well be dispersed in LA.
Just Curious
Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 15:56:11 (PDT)
Hank Lewis,
I hardly notice any non-asians working in restaurants, markets and shops in chinatown, japantown or other asian enclaves. This also includes other bay area cities like oakland, san jose and fremont.
On the other hand cities like los angeles and westminster have hispanics and some white people working in their businesses.
There must be something about bay area asians that wants to keep asian businesses exclusively owned, operated and serviced.
Can someone out there provide some insight.
Political Observer
Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 09:09:10 (PDT)
Viet Guy in Houston:
While technically PF Changs isn't a Chinese restaurant in the traditional sense (the chain's owner/founder is a White guy who likes Chinese food but wanted to give it a more "mainstream feel") your point is well taken.
In Houston, where I also live, I have seen White women and men working at Kim Son's on Westheimer @ Hillcroft, and in some of the Asian food kiosks at many of the local malls. There's also a large number of Hispanics who work in the Asian markets and restaurants here as well.
That griper had no basis to complain.
Hank Lewis
Monday, August 26, 2002 at 10:14:23 (PDT)
TO 'Nina Da Fizzle',
So you're jumping back to our side white girl?? Man, pick a side! To answer your question: of course! I truely believe that to be successful in whatever you do there must be hard work, diligence, perseverance, a little know how, and some faith. I have met alot of stupid Asians and alot of smart Asians; just with any other race. So how did I make Asians look bad?
TO 'AM',
I stand corrected. Thank you.
Viet guy in Houston
Sunday, August 25, 2002 at 21:35:57 (PDT)
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