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ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
The White Perspective on Asian Americans
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:51:37 PM)
hey're our neighbors, buddies, allies, enemies, clients, bosses, employees, lovers and spouses. Many of us have more daily contact with Whites than with other Asians. Consequently, we often feel we know them better than they can ever know us. Maybe that's at the heart of our frustration as Asian Americans. They are as ubiquitous and pervasive as the air we breath while to them it seems we are eternal curiosities, outsiders, exotics.
Bridging the gap?
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And so we sometimes find ourselves lashing out with nasty generalizations about the people we blame for all that seems wrong with American society and, more specifically, our place in it. They are ignorant, shallow, boorish, smelly, sneaky, treacherous, malicious, dumb, weird -- in short, all the labels we feel have been so unfairly slapped on us.
But even as we hurl such epithets we cannot forget the countless acts of kindness, warmth, generosity, friendship, passion and love that we have enjoyed from these very same people. As our anger and frustration subside, we recognize that our fates are inextricably intertwined, not merely in sharing a world, a nation, a society, an economy, a culture -- but often in sharing even our most intimate lives. One in five of today's Asian American marriages are to Whites. And contrary to the imbalance of the past, the ratio of new AM/WF marriages to new AF/WM marriages is steadily approaching unity.
So we naturally have a strong interest in decoding the other side of the equation. Understanding is a two-way street. Fortunately, there are Whites who have enough interest in us as individuals to share their perspectives on us and on their interactions with us. This page is for those who -- as corny as it may sound -- have chosen to serve as bridges.
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Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
Albiyes,
What are you talking about? Your in some serious need of help. I think you've lost it big time. LOL
PS You wrote as if all of us here should know you. I've been following these boards for a while and don't know who the hell you are.
Can we get some Prozac in here please?!?
Proud 2 b Azn (AM)
Thursday, October 10, 2002 at 22:35:51 (PDT)
[64.228.39.111]
What do whites think of Asians?
I have a variety of emotions ranging from hatred to love. I repeat again and again, I had an asian stepfather who was a complete asshole. And it seems to me that many of you stereotype yourselves as upstanding citizens, victims of an evil white society. In actuality it is you who refuse to examine yourselves and your perceptions of society.
You are the selfish ones. I have repeatedly stated that my grandfather was in a concentration camp along with Japanese Americans. But this does not matter to you. Because you can do no wrong. Blame it all on the germanic American without ever examining the issues. Not a single one of you has ever done anything about what I have said. Because all you care about is your own "yellow" ass.
He has a fetish for Asians... Did you ever think that maybe I missed my step Grandmother who you bastards stole from me because you couldn't keep your dick in your pants.
If you think you understand politics in the United States think again. I have read your site and it has only shown me a deeper picture of what a bunch of assholes you are.
All hapas hide their white ethnicity. Every single one I've met. Many don't even know what kind of white. Because whites aren't allowed to have an identity. If they do you call them racist.
I am 1/16th black. My great Grandmother had a bastard child while she was married to my great grandfather. Where do you put me in your "white oppressor" politic? You and your affirmative action. I never benefited from that. I was not allowed into the Graduate program because I was white.
I could never understand you... Yeah right I listened to all the bitching moaning and whining of a half Filipino half English stepfather, who thought he was Malcom X, for five years. But that never mattered to anyone. No, you assumed that I was the priveliged white boy. My mother declared bankruptcy after he stole 400,000 and headed off to Australia.
I didn't consider you to be a yellow belly before. Now, I am beginning to change my mind. You want to keep reliving the past?
Go back to asia and take your bilingual education with you. Just leave your women because they are the best sex this country ever had!!!
Albiyes
Monday, October 07, 2002 at 19:13:07 (PDT)
[68.98.93.175]
Why do so many posters here seem to comment that white people are all brought up in well to do families, with mom and pop going to the country club and collecting Ivy league applications for Junior, and all brought up with little hardship and lots of money?
I know I am not the minority growing up! There are MANY poverty or working class white people too. Many of them are very educated also and with college degrees that I know of, and working as waiters.
An Indian friend of mine commented on our housing communnity where we live. The majority of people here are professionals and doing very well. He said "wow, you are the only "pale face" here!" I am a minority as a Caucasian person here.
That is a wrong assumption many people have. I may be spared from the humiliation and hurt of feeling what it is to be an Asian person with prejudice against me, although I do get my share of prejudice and hurt being in a IR, but poverty is something that affects us all. I cannot think of one Asian person I know or socialize with that is not wealthy, although I know there are also plenty, yet I can think of many whites. Poverty is common to all races..whites are not excluded.
hannybunbun
Wednesday, October 02, 2002 at 16:35:26 (PDT)
[207.172.11.148]
[This post was moved from Annoyances of AA Life. --Ed]
curious girl,
Listen little Darlin,You haven't had your jobs stolen away from you. You don't know what its like to be a man bringing home the bread for the family, and having it ripped away. I didn't want to mention this, but this really really gets me so freakin mad. I have just started working 3rd shift, theres a new pack of foreigns that just got hired. One of them has absolutely no skills at all and he clocks in late every day. I even found out that guy stole my two dollars in the break room. I heard from the guys on the loading docks that he is getting a RAISE! Can you believe that! This guy wears white velcro sneakers and can't even tie his own shoes! This is the same guy that can only say the word "Hello"! WTF MAN! I deserve some respect and recognition for my freakin work! I come to work every single day. This annoys me into no end. Sometimes I feel so fed up I don't know how to control myself! I feel like I'm gonna completely lose it! What do you do when you feel like this? How do I learn to control myself around these people?
its me again, whining
Wednesday, October 02, 2002 at 15:11:59 (PDT)
[205.188.208.134]
"Do your white guy and girlfriends accept you for who you are? That’s nice. Your future employer won’t."
Depends on who your future employer is. Universities including this one at the University of Colorado would prefer to hire Asians, Asian Americans and foreign nationals because they are so much better than many white American students. You ask any white American professor in science and engineering or business and economics, they would tell you precisely that. The majority of the engineering faculty hired during the past five years were either Asians or born abroad...mostly Asian countries
"Neither will most people who you’ll see/meet outside of school in the real world."
Real America is not the real world.
White Professor
Tuesday, October 01, 2002 at 12:25:33 (PDT)
[128.138.108.142]
[Proud 2 b Azn, your post has been placed on Barry's True Stories page. This page is for white perspectives on Asian Americans, not vice versa. --Ed]
"i don't support anyone on the basis of race. neither do i discount anyone. i evaluate people on an individual basis. i don't call other asian dudes my "brothers" because, other than the fact that we may have similar facial characteristics, we often have nothing else in common."
You sure do sound like a product of Liberal-politics, upper-middle class American Suburbia.
I'm sure that your white-bread highschool faculty and your father with a good paying job and your homemaker mother told you to treat everyone on the basis of personal merit. That is some sage advice, for sure. The only problem I have with that train of thought is that it's takes race and race relations SO TRIVIALLY. White people in the burbs have the luxury of choosing WHEN to participate in these games of feigned liberalism. They can choose to date a black or Asian, but hey, if their parents object, they always have the option of not bringing them home. When they go home for break, they do not have to deal with people of varying backgrounds. They have their trust funds and lives set for them. It’s all very simple for them – mingle with the minorities (read: “prepare yourself for the real world”), ‘go slumming’, then come back home to start some job Dad set up for them
I am in my final year at an Ivy League university, one that most people in this country would envy. Many white students here preach precisely what you preach, but wouldn't generally dare allow non-whites to step in their inner-sanctum. Sure, you get the occasional Asian or even black in their Greek organizations, but rarely are they handsome or influential. From the looks of it Iconic (I saw your picture folder), you look like a frat boy or some familiar incarnation of that sort. And let me tell you VERY objectively – you hardly qualify as an Alpha Male. If you’re very good looking, then I’m freakin’ Markus Schekenburg, Tyson Beckford, Won Bin, and Rick Yune rolled into one, I swear. I mean, you’re obviously in great shape, but your face is plain. An Asian John Doe.
An alpha male has all the necessary qualities for male dominance; physical presence, charisma, social skills. I fit that description well; I am 6’2.5”, very fit, positive/cheerful, quite good-looking if I say so myself (my apologizes if I sound conceited), and am generally popular with men and women of all races here at my school. I would have been a prime candidate for a big-time, big-pimpin’ white frat, don’t you think? Afterall, I am a tall, good-looking, outgoing minority guy. However, I chose not to enter the Greek system after my first year Rush experience. Most of the Asian brothers I encountered in the Greek system during rush were plain, one-dimensional. They were quite stereotypical. They were not necessarily dorky, but definitely the clean-cut, boring, nerdy types that did not think outside the box. If anything, I’ll bet they did Bio and math homework for the white brothers in return for introductions to plain looking white girls. I knew that I would never be allowed to rise in the ranks. An Alpha Male who also happens to be a minority male is called a THREAT in this society. Greek President? Forget it. I ran instead for Class President, naively hoping that the liberal atmosphere of Student Government would cloak me from the upper-class snobbery and racism of the Ivies. Needless to say, I was defeated by a wide margin by my opponents - a rich Jewish kid and a blonde haired WASP Golden Boy, who ultimately won. Go figure. I probably spent 3 to 4 times as many hours handing out fliers, campaigning, shaking hands with students. Us Asians have a long way to go, as far as getting to the top of American society. Perhaps we never will, in the state we are in. If we had the wealth of the Jews, the Gung-ho spirit of blacks we might be able to force our way into the spotlight. But so far, not all of us are wealthy, and we definitely do not have the cohesiveness nor the indomitable spirit of black people.
Getting back to my point, I get the feeling that you have adopted (or were indoctrinated into) the white suburbanite way of thinking about race relations. No matter how big a fit you have, no matter how much you scream into the ears of Asians and others that you are ‘Iconic’ the man, not defined by race or ethnicity – you will ALWAYS be defined by your race. Do your white guy and girlfriends accept you for who you are? That’s nice. Your future employer won’t. Neither will most people who you’ll see/meet outside of school in the real world. You’ll ALWAYS have to prove to them your worth before they accept you. That is the price you must pay for being a minority man.
You live in your own little world created with your inconsequential, quasi-educated, SUPREMELY myopic suburban-race politics. To detach yourself completely from Asian Americans is a meaningless act. You surely have nothing to gain, and perhaps a lot to lose. If you align yourself with whites, they may accept you as one of them (Since from the looks of it, you are no Alpha-male threat… btw I will extend a pre-emptive apology, just in case you have a superb personality and other good inner qualities. But seriously, I don’t think you’re physically striking.), but in all likelihood, you won’t become the leader of the pack. If I were to try to get into your social circle w/o brown-nosing, I would probably be snubbed. Your lady friends might take a liking to me, but your guys sure won’t. But so far in my life, this hasn’t been the case with Asian Americans that I’ve known. When it comes of complete and total acceptance as a human individual, you’d be surprised how much you and other AA’s might have in common.
Why do I say all this? It’s because I was a sellout too. I always had my looks, body and charismatic presence, and the popular kids in my HS (who were almost all white) took a liking to me. The hot white girls were all over me, and the guys let me join their social circle. As a nervous Asian boy that wanted to fit in, it was very flattering to know that the popular white kids wanted me to hang out with them. Me, out of all the other Asians and even many other white kids. I totally bought into this over-inflated sense of importance and even started to think that I was superior to others, especially other Asians. I only dated white girls and only hung out with white guys. I thought that other Asian kids would never understand. Ever. Believe it or not, my main excuse was that almost exactly what you preach today in regards to race. “I only make friends and date based on personality and character. All my friends just happened to be white, because they had the best personalities.” That’s what I said, anyway. (By the way, I’d like to thank the Academy. And my agent too.)
All this changed when I was roomed with an Asian guy in my freshman year. He was a truly charismatic Korean boy called Kwon, or Chris. He was a strikingly handsome guy, about 5’10”, well-dressed, fit, and well liked by his peers. Especially the Asian kids. White kids liked him just fine, but he was a total hit with the Asian kids. I was amazed by how effortlessly he could charm the people around him. When he chose to, he could even get the white guys here (who are very arrogant) to warm up to him. Many pretty white girls had a crush on him, but he was always faithful to his Korean girlfriend. While I lived with him, this is what I realized: my relationships with the white kids, though sincere in intention, were always somewhat contrived. We had fun together, but getting past the drinking, skirt chasing and partying, we couldn’t connect. That’s when I decided to make some new friends. I met many more Korean and other Asian kids on campus, and found that despite being the whitest Asian kid for miles around, they were sincerely interested in getting to know me. I went drinking with them, ate the pungent foods that white people would gag at. We talked about our parents and the humours aspects of the East/West culture clash in our respective households. In short, we could relate. I eventually grew apart from my white friends by my sophomore year, and now most of my good friends are Asian (My girlfriend is still white; I cannot leave her just b/c she isn't Asian... We have too much of a good thing going and a great past few years together.).
I still wear Abercromibe and Fitch. I like to listen to 80s and 90s rock. I still have many white friends. I don’t believe in isolationism. If anything, I like to think of myself as the bridge between the Asian and white population here. But I am one of the few, the truly proud. A reborn Asian.
If some big-time banana, former cracker-worshipping (I say that in good humor) Asian kid from the Northeast can relate to other Asians from widely disparate backgrounds, then surely you can. Unless you were raised by white parents or something. =)
I hope you don’t take this as an attack. It’s more of a wake up call.
Barry (AM, 23)
Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 01:28:27 (PDT)
[128.253.186.46]
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