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ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
The White Perspective on Asian Americans
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:51:35 PM)
hey're our neighbors, buddies, allies, enemies, clients, bosses, employees, lovers and spouses. Many of us have more daily contact with Whites than with other Asians. Consequently, we often feel we know them better than they can ever know us. Maybe that's at the heart of our frustration as Asian Americans. They are as ubiquitous and pervasive as the air we breath while to them it seems we are eternal curiosities, outsiders, exotics.
Bridging the gap?
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And so we sometimes find ourselves lashing out with nasty generalizations about the people we blame for all that seems wrong with American society and, more specifically, our place in it. They are ignorant, shallow, boorish, smelly, sneaky, treacherous, malicious, dumb, weird -- in short, all the labels we feel have been so unfairly slapped on us.
But even as we hurl such epithets we cannot forget the countless acts of kindness, warmth, generosity, friendship, passion and love that we have enjoyed from these very same people. As our anger and frustration subside, we recognize that our fates are inextricably intertwined, not merely in sharing a world, a nation, a society, an economy, a culture -- but often in sharing even our most intimate lives. One in five of today's Asian American marriages are to Whites. And contrary to the imbalance of the past, the ratio of new AM/WF marriages to new AF/WM marriages is steadily approaching unity.
So we naturally have a strong interest in decoding the other side of the equation. Understanding is a two-way street. Fortunately, there are Whites who have enough interest in us as individuals to share their perspectives on us and on their interactions with us. This page is for those who -- as corny as it may sound -- have chosen to serve as bridges.
This interactive article is closed to new input.
Discussions posted during the past year remain available for browsing.
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
All these differences in ethnicities is a great breath of Fresh Air and a Big Relief when one comes to the adult realization that the people, our families, who we grew up with were of our own ethnicity and WERE ASSHOLES!
My best friend is Asian. She is nice, smart and fun to be with. When she is down, I love to be there for her.
My boyfriend is a White, Anglo-Saxon
Pagan tho. He's a loving break from my loveless, meshuga Jewish family. He's decent, kind and loving.
Tovah Goldberg
tovahgoldberg@yahoo.com
Monday, January 13, 2003 at 09:08:43 (PST)
[207.5.235.199]
Im a white man in the military in Hawaii. Growing up in a largely black and hispanic neighborhood I banned together with other whites to assert my identity. I also had plenty close to 30%
Asian friends. Because of the hostility of the other groups (Blacks, Hispanics, and Hasidic Jews) I never regarded much difference between us.
With my time in the military and especially my time spent in Hawaii I have noticed many very dark undertones to the Asian American community I had never seen in New Jersey. I have noticed extreme hostility and resentment, and general scorn for white culture. One incident hurt me very personally. I was walking to the train station that required me to go through a neighborhood. Five guys in a pick up truck pulled up and splashed me with beer. they said you in the wrong place Haole boy than threatened me with a beatdown. (five against one?!) This is after spending the last 2 months in the Jungles of the phillipines helping to rid the Basilan region of Abu Sayeff. That was the first time I uttered an ethnic slur about anyone in my life.
I know this is one incident but many other whites have talked about the same thing. What do Asians think should be done to mend the relationship?
njnative187
Sunday, January 12, 2003 at 07:14:15 (PST)
[67.192.171.56]
"What disturbs me is the view that physical attractiveness is the measure of a person's worth."
Of COURSE it is, numbnuts! Physical pedigree is an indication of good genetics, good potential for father/motherhood. It is US.
I agree that it is very shallow to judge people solely on physical attractiveness (for mere sexual things that is the ideal situation, but not for relationships), but to completely repress or denounce physical attractiveness in favor of non-tangible things such as personality, wealth, influence, etc. is equally naff.
If my woman doesn't give me wood, then I can't be with her. I'm a man. And if I don't get a girl wet when she sees me, then I understand. I don't want to waste time trying to woo her.
Of course, all these factors work TOGETHER. Otherwise, only the seriously beautiful or wealthy/powerful people would EVER find mates, and 85% of the human race would be left with very calloused right hands. Hehe...
Be Honest
Saturday, January 04, 2003 at 22:09:49 (PST)
[172.169.164.144]
Hank Lewis,
I can't help but agree with everything you wrote. What disturbs me is the view that physical attractiveness is the measure of a person's worth.
Red,
How do you tell if an Asian man is trying to be 'less Asian'? Maybe he is just trying to be himself, but you hate him for not conforming to what you consider 'Asian'.
It's probably true that there are AM out there who do try to be 'less Asian' (which is dumb and futile - an Asian can't make himself 'less Asian'. He can't alter his genes.)
'Asianness' is not about confining yourself to a static culture or lifestyle. E.g. questioning some of the values of the older generation (of whichever Asian culture you stem from) and choosing to go your own way does not make you 'less Asian'. It might make you an Asian non-conformist or even some kind of social pariah but you're still 100% Asian.
One of the myths of Orientalism is that Asian cultures are static, homogenous and unchanging, while Western culture changes over time.
Again, how do you decide whether a guy is trying to 'less Asian'?
Political Observer
What exactly do you mean by 'socially less Asian'? It sounds like you are trying to put Asians into a box. How can drawing such boundaries be good for anyone? Doesn't every individual's identity change over time, anyway?
query
Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 19:03:06 (PST)
[144.132.5.8]
One generalization which I am personally getting tired of is the notion that Caucasians who mate with Asians are somehow the "rejects of White Society." (and vice versa for their Asian mates.) This has been said by some AMs & AFs, some WMs & WFs and various others who post to this site. It's gotten quite old because nothing new is being added and it's become the biggest cop out in the world for those kinds of posters here.
The individuals who keep on making these gross generalizations have prejudices through which they look at Asian/Caucasian transethnic unions. When they scan the crowds for mixed couples, their eyes automatically track towards those couples who are less than average looking while overlooking other transethnic couples who are better looking. The unattractive couples are the only mixed couples they want to see, so they filter out the others because of their prejudice.
This is no different than what I hear from some Caucasian men and African American women who love to generalize that "All White Women who get with Black men are fat, ugly and rejected by White men." They intentionally overlook those who don't fit into their world view because to include all mixed couples would mean that they would have to look into the dark hole of their hearts and would be faced with their own prejudices. Not many people are brave enough to admit their own faults, let alone admit that they are bigots.
The truth is that among mixed couples, there are couples who are both "attractive, those where one member has a greater appearance-attractiveness than the other and those where both are, at best, homely. This is no different than we would find under same-ethnic couples.
Even the previous paragraph is "colored" by one other prejudice that each person has to deal with on their own: what is your individual definition of what is "attractive" in a person physically? Despite all the scientific efforts to quantify this, the truth is that there are societal, familial, historical and cultural factors which influence peoples' tastes.
Perhaps the Asian woman whom some Asian men reject as "plain" is seen as "attractive" by the non-Asian man she's with because his views of what's "attractive" are different than those Asian men who had rejected her. Plus, there are probably other Asian men out there who would find her attractive as well, but for some reason she hasn't met them. You can change the ethnic lables in the previous sentence for any ethnicity which would apply.
Think about it...
Hank Lewis
Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 13:39:06 (PST)
[161.159.4.35]
Red,
Hate is a strong word and it can sound awful. Please stop the hate.
lokiloki
Monday, November 11, 2002 at 22:03:30 (PST)
[162.83.147.41]
I am not at all attracted to Asian Men who try to be 'less Asian'. Its very undesirable and doesn't fascinate me at all. I have absolutely not one ounce of respect, love or regard for people like this. I truly hate them.
Red
Monday, November 11, 2002 at 08:07:19 (PST)
[152.163.188.36]
Thomas Kehoe,
you wrote
"ive been going out with my girlfriend for 2 years"
Ah, young love. Isn't it splendid :)
You're only 16 but you're definitely miles ahead of Albiyes.
you further wrote:
"but i feel a a strong tie with asians, i think of them as on the same level with intelligance, the cultures may be very different, but in alot of ways or more alike then any other two, and we basicly in my opinion r the closest related races,"
Just out of curiosity do you have an asian tatoo and eat asian cuisine for breakfast. If so, you need to start eating more cherrios and pancakes.
I admit there are fewer social disconnects between whites and asians because we don't have all the bad luggage that white and black relations have. It's really too bad because I'd like to see better relations amongst all americans regardless of race.
Normally when talking to asians they focus on the present, education and family ties. Unfortunately my african americans friends tend to focus on the past (etc. slavery, jim crow laws). This causes too much friction especially when it's a social gathering. I understand a lot of it but it causes a strain sometimes when you just want to chill out and be pleasant.
What kind of name is Kehoe? Do you live in hawaii?
Anyway, it would be better for asian americans to retain their identity and stop trying to be socially less asian.
Political Observer
Monday, October 14, 2002 at 15:11:14 (PDT)
[167.230.38.7]
hello, u know im a 16 year old, male (white) and i frequently talk to my asian girlfriend, who left japan when she waz 4 years old, i talk about how she feels like an outsider, i try to tell her things that will make her feel better, etc., and ive noticed, not to seem racist or anything, but i feel a a strong tie with asians, i think of them as on the same level with intelligance, the cultures may be very different, but in alot of ways or more alike then any other two, and we basicly in my opinion r the closest related races, i would except an asian into my family alot sooner then a black person or an indian, etc. its just the way i feel, ive been going out with my girlfriend for 2 years now, and were really close, i think asians and whites should come together, but i dont think whites and asians can come together until asians think of themselves as asian americans and embrace their new identity, and whites embrace there old identity as europeans, not just americans, anyway i found this interesting
Tom
Thomas Kehoe
skerapotumas@aol.com
Friday, October 11, 2002 at 18:22:36 (PDT)
[205.188.209.72]
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