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GOLDSEA |
ASIAMS.NET |
ASIAN AMERICAN ISSUES
LIVING WITH AN ASIAN AMERICAN WIFE
he male ideal of domestic bliss? An American home, a Chinese cook and a Japanese wife, says traditional Asian wisdom.
Today's Asian American man would give the nod to the American home and maybe even to the Chinese cook, but would certainly reject the sexist notions embodied in the supposed merits of a Japanese wife -- unflagging devotion to the husband's comfort and pleasure. What self-respecting man wants to marry a servant instead of an equal partner?
And yet Asian American men do seem to cherish fixed notions of the advantages of marrying an Asian American woman. "They're more willing to give and take and not turn every difference into a confrontation," goes one oft-cited reason. "They sacrifice for the future instead of giving in to every whim," goes another. "They devote more effort to raising kids," is yet another. Other qualities ascribed to Asian wives include patience, diligence, thoughtfulness, sensitivity, faithfulness and frugality.
This glowing image of Asian womanhood may be one reason for the fact that 70% of even American-born Asian men marry Asian women.
But now war stories have begun trickling in from the first big wave of second-generation Asian American marriages. Some evidence deep disillusionment with Asian American wives. "All they care about is money and status," grouse some young husbands. "They put their careers ahead of me and the kids," is another common gripe. Others complain, "They expect me to work all day, then do more than my share of the housework."
Are Asian American wives living up to the high expectations? Or are they shattering those cherished notions about Asian wives?
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WHAT YOU SAY
[This page is closed to new input. --Ed.]
(Updated
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008, 05:51:06 PM)
Princess20
I think its great that AFs feel more comfortable with their sexuality. I know some older generation AF that are totally uncomfortable with it, they are super clean, brush their teeth 4-5 times a day, are emotionally dependent but not physically dependent (want sex).
So its good to know that younger generation are true females with their own needs. This makes marriage life (or pre-marital relations) so much better. The trick is to be open, curious, non-restrictive, comfortable with our bodies.
Heck, I'm 29 and I still need it everyday. I like sex alot, but I know that there are other things to life, but I want a happy marriage where the husband's/wife's needs are being met.
NotNowHoney-maybeTonight
Monday, June 10, 2002 at 12:53:08 (PDT)
AM and Princess(20),
Thanks for your inputs. Just checking my notes.
I don't want to make it into a race issue and I do love my AF wife (she is a wonderful, beautiful and sincere woman). We have always been able to solves our problems, most of the times it is a communication issue (As with most men, I do not communicate enough).
She told me the other night that sex has always been great, but she felt bad that I got angry at her about sex.
I think that the needs for sex are in all of us, it just incorporates itself differently in different people and cultures.
NotNowHoney
Monday, June 10, 2002 at 10:51:57 (PDT)
To "Not Now Honey":
That is not true at all. I don't know about non-Asian women, because all my girl-friends are asian ages 18-22. (but I would assume its the same) From talking to them, I learned that they are very sexual and even more so than men. We have high sexual desires and needs. I myself, an AF, have a VERY high sex drive, always demanding it. hehe. One of my guyfriends told me that a lot of women have a higher sexual need than men. Men will want it more initially, but women will end up wanting it more when the guy falls asleep. I also heard from people that Asians have more sex than whites. Not sure if that is true. But could be true
Princess, 20
Friday, June 07, 2002 at 15:41:58 (PDT)
I've always found white women to be more sexually adventurous. Asian girls are usually uptight and prissy about it.
AM
Wednesday, June 05, 2002 at 14:03:50 (PDT)
I'm an AM married to an AF and we've been having alot of marital problems lately. One of the big problems has to do with sex. I enjoy sex alot and like to try new things. My wife is neutral about sex and is closed in terms of trying new things and straying from the normal routine. She says that it is natural for some women to feel this way and that women normally have less sexual needs than men.
I was wondering if this is true? True for Asian women or true for women in gereral?
NotNowHoney
Tuesday, June 04, 2002 at 06:05:43 (PDT)
I may not be Asian, but Indian, and I have no doubt in my mind that the woman I would have as a perfect wife would be an Asian-American woman because of her attitude as a modest and caring individual. That's all that matters
MK
XMK18@aol.com
Friday, May 03, 2002 at 23:07:07 (PDT)
I think my 2nd generation ABC girlfriend is definatley shattering the stereotype:
1. she can't cook
2. never over dresses, in fact under dresses
3. doesn't like BMW or Mercedes
she's a keeper! I prefer my cooking anyway...
UCSVT
Friday, May 03, 2002 at 01:37:49 (PDT)
IF you want to find yourself a wonderful woman, it comes down to the individual not the race. When it comes to inside beauty, race doesn't make a difference. What makes Asian women outshine others is their physical traits, at least in my preference.
an Asian guy
Friday, April 26, 2002 at 10:11:37 (PDT)
I'm a fourth generation Chinese American. I am not like that: "care only about money and status," "put careers ahead of kids," etc. It's ridiculous to say all ABA women are like that! We are all different and lead different lives: some homemaker, some sensitive, some career-minded, etc. And those comments (they only care about money, etc.) can apply to women of all races, not just ABAs. They also suggest that Asian men marry Asian women for those very stereotypes - the ones that Asian men accuse white men of for marrying Asian women.
Freckled face CF
Wednesday, April 24, 2002 at 01:14:25 (PDT)
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