ASIAN FEMALE/ AFRICAN AMERICAN MALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are an Asian female, what most attracts you to African American males?
Their facial features | 45%
Their physique | 12%
Their attitude and personality | 32%
Their education & cultural values | 11%

Assuming you are an Asian female, what most dissuades you from relations with African American males?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 13%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 64%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 23% 		Assuming you are an African American male, what most attracts you to Asian females?
Their facial features | 62%
Their physique | 13%
Their attitude and personality | 15%
Their education & cultural values | 10%

Assuming you are an African American male, what most dissuades you from relations with Asian females?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 6%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 81%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family and friends. | 12%

To: "Think brothers"

You never did answer my question of "Why do you belive that WHITE MEN are DESPERATE for Asian women?".

Your answer to me was:
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"Did you read some post one idiot wrote about Looking for asian who want mandingo di** that's an example of what i'm talking about. Isn't that sad or what?
Most posts seems like I have to have an asian woman or else ( i will be dead)!"
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But let me ask you "Think Brothers", what does that have to do with WHITE MALES, for the person you're talking about sounds as if he was Black? My exact statement was:
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"What makes you think WHITE MEN are DESPERATE for Asian women? I mean, yeah, I do see them with Asian women quite a bit, but I don't think they're going out of style either. Can you please elaborate on your statement?
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And, yes, "think brothers" you've answered the question of why you perceive black males as being desperate, but you've not explained "what attitudes WHITE MALES have exhibited to make you feel that they are desperate too". Your statement was:
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"My main points of this post is that brothas are now getting desperate like White men for Asian Women" [excerpt from: 'Think brothers'].
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I'm not saying you are right or wrong, I just what to know what makes you feel that way. I'm pretty sure any Asian female on this poll, who dates white men, or white male reading this message, would want to know. I'm curious too. please explain in full so we can see if you really know what you're talking about.
Casual Dreamer    Tuesday, October 23, 2001 at 10:44:27 (PDT)
Yadda, yadda, yadda. One Asian woman comes on the board and says she's dated one Black man and you are all falling over yourselves trying to defend her. Depsite the fact that she said she's now with an Asian man due to parental pressure.

Or maybe its that she said "hey the rumors in bed are true". Maybe that's it, an Asian woman said Black guys are good in bed and she's got you all panting like dogs. Like I said she's one to give advice to other Asian women. And let's just assume her bf is indeed of the same ethnicity but then again if any of you know Asian parents, if she dated a Black man, she pretty much has card blanche to date a martian at this point and her parents will accept it.
Black men don't need hand-me-downs    Tuesday, October 23, 2001 at 09:32:43 (PDT)
JUST MY 2 CENTS:
Are you Japanese?
Well, in this world, there are all kinds of people. Sometimes, a LITTLE politeness can go a long way (even if it is "fake" as you alluded). I'll take it; after all, being a Black American, the politeness I received from Japanese people is a whole lot better than rude chumps in America who make excuses not to like a certain type of people when the REAL reason is that they are racist/prejudiced.
El.Sr.de SEA JUSTO    Tuesday, October 23, 2001 at 07:01:48 (PDT)
In response to
thinkbrothers:
My, how people can amaze me! I read your post and about the only thing I can agree with was the part about mail order brides. Your post is as close "ignorant" as some of the others I have read. During my studies for my Masters Degree, a professor of mine once told me, "Always "ground" your argument so it can't be picked apart", something you have failed to do. First off, you imply that us BLACK AMERICAN men(as you say)are so ignorant we can't distinguish between states and countries,Chinese, Koreans ect.That comment was so outragous that it doesn't even warrant a reply. You lost 1000 points on that one. That's about as stupid (yes a harsh word, but fitting) as me saying all English people drink tea and play cricket. People, don't let this individual fool you, there is plenty of racial prejudice in merry ole England. It evens goes as far as discriminating within their own groups (whites vs Whites, blacks vs blacks ect). I once lived/worked in England for 11 years so I think Im qualified to make that comment. So you found and married an half asian woman...wow congrats, so have many others. The issue at hand deals with ALL aspects of Asian/Black relationships (all over the world as each country may have different views/outlooks) not just some black man in England who married his highschool sweetheart who happens to be half asian.Contrary to what "you" think, brothers here in AMERICA or anywhere else I have lived, don't have a fetish for Asian women like the majority of white men do. We explore relationships with any race and it's always a taboo subject (and a problem to the "other" man) because of the racism and the garbage that you are throwing out your mouth. It's as if others feel it's a threat to them if blacks/asians co-mingle and date or whatever. Whatever is not understood is feared. I must say even brothers like you (and I use the term brother loosely) have fallen into this trap with all your usless rhetoric. The most disturbing part about your post was a comment on how slavery must have damaged the black AMERICAN man's brain. Hmmmm, let me see, I wonder where your uninformed black butt originated from. Learn your history...black slaves were dropped off everywhere from the Virgin Islands to China....and oh... England too. Yes the black man in America is different from the one in England and you are different from the one in Africa. It's called growing up in different cultures/societies. I'm sure I could find 1000 Africans who think you and the rest of the blacks in England are total idiots, but would that mean I'm suppose to support their claims, No! Get a grip, it's obivious you have some growing up to do (and some schooling) The one good thing about America is everyone (even idiots) are entitled to their opinions. It's just a shame that this board is not being utilized to it's fullest potential. To all the others, I'm sorry for taking up to much space, not contributing much to the subject at hand. One last thing...No, women are not commodities, no matter what race they are but your thinking is. Don't even think about attacking us "brothers" here in America, cuz "we ain't having it" We have been around too long and endured too much pain and hatred to just pick up our bags and leave. Next time post something that could "help" someone instead of your slanderous remarks. Once again folks I'm sorry.


BlackMan in Japan    Tuesday, October 23, 2001 at 02:40:09 (PDT)
Gees,

Lets not be so egoticial, stop thinking that the world give a S**t about whom you date, You can root a goat for all I care. 99% of the time interractical couples thinks everybody is looking at them because they are different, but believe me, its probabely the big snot stuck to your face that they were staring at.

Let it be, stop analysis, spread free love...life is too short to care about the opinions of others.

Just some observations from a tiny, submissive asian martial arts expert/goddess from Down under.
Ambrosia F**Kme@hotmail.com    Tuesday, October 23, 2001 at 01:12:18 (PDT)
Hey folks, my name is bruce,and I am a black american male, I see that the comments of my ex-girlfriend "asian honey/Los Angeles" has caused quite a stir at this site, well for all of the regulars here, I'll break down a few things...1st of all we had a great relationship years ago when I was 20 and she was 18, but her dad (not so much her mom), was quite the "traditional type"or what the intelligent people here know better as racist a**hole, anyways she broke up with me and I was crushed,I felt betrayed so I didn't talk 2 her for a few years...she later contacted my mom then myself, we met up again in jan. 2000 she told me how sorry she was 4 breaking up with me for the wrong reasons...anyways, she has a new boyfriend now and I try to respect that but she keeps visiting me and forcing me:) to make love to her, I usually don't mess around with gals that have husbands or boyfriends, but this is my ex, and she is so much finer now at 25 than she was at 18 that I can't resist her comming on to me so strongly...and besides I'm very single...sure maybe I'm wrong for sleeping with her,but part of me still loves her very much, too bad huh?...I guess I'm just the quite hopeless romantic. I'm actually a regular reader of this site, I know that there are a lot of racist dicks out, but I also she a lot of bright, down to earth, overall good people out there also, so 2 each of you live life to the fullest,keep an open mind, and let's try to love 1 another o.k. if not, then bite me:) p.s. My best friend is half japanese and half white, I'm cool with everyone not a racist bone in my body...casual dreamer you rock!..and my exes new boyfriend doesn't really care for blacks people too much, so I enjoy giving to her that much more:) c-ya folks. (long letter huh?)
Bruce/ Los Angeles    Tuesday, October 23, 2001 at 01:04:56 (PDT)
To "Think brothers"

You said "There was a post by Asian honey/ Los Angeles in which she mentioned that she used to go out with a Black guy but now with an Asian Guy. Are you guys nuts or what? are you saying that she can't even go out with someone of her own race? despite the fact that she admitted going out with one of us but discontinued due to parental pressure. I don't think that it is a crime to love and respect your parents, is it? please stop vilifying the poor lady!"
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My I ask you "WHAT IN THE LIVING HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?!" I never spoke against Asian Honey for dating within her own race, and I never spoke against her for trying to please her parents... in fact, I never said she was trying to please her parents by dating an Asian guy ("trying to please her parents" was a statement made by someone else (person being 'just my 2 cents') --- I simply spoke against this person's accusations. My exact statement was "She never said she was dating the guy to please her parents, nor did she infer it in any short of way".); furthermore, I didn't see anything on this poll in which "Just a a friend" has said anything pertaining to what you are talking about. WHERE IS YOUR MIND TODAY?! GET YOUR HEAD SCREWED ON STRAIT, WILL YA!

And about this statement, in which you've said:
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"As for me, i met my wife when I was 15 and she was 14 at school. we are together since( i am 28) blessed with 2 children.

Obviously i had a few problems with her parents at the relationship early stage due to the age and not colour! but that was in the long past".
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THANK YOU FOR ILLUSTRATING MY POINT! Yes, the point I was trying to make when I wrote about how "other things are possible" as in referring to why Asian Honey's parents may not have liked her boyfriend who was Black. Thank you!

You said that "My wife told me about Goldsea, she read some post and was shocked! when i read some of these posts as well, i realise most people here are American" Well "Think Brothers" Goldsea is an Asian-American web site, what did you expect to find here, a bunch of people from England?; If that was so, it would me more likely named "Goldsea:Asian-English Supersite" wouldn't it?

Hey, 'Think Brothers' you made this comment, I'll assume it's directed towards me since I'm the one who finds nothing wrong with "mail order bride" services.
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You comment was: "For people to think there is nothing wrong with mail order bride is simply unbelievable! to me this is just like another slavery! Are you a lamer or something? i'd rather chat up a woman at the shopping centre or a library than purchase one!.
Have you no shame in buying another human being to come and cook and serve you"
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As I've told you, I've never used a mail order bride service; however, I have done some looking into it (way before this topic came up) to find out just what they were.

Point #1: The term "mail order bride" service is actually, misleading, because it gives one the impression that all they have to do is send money to the company, pick out the girl they want, and then she is dropped off at their doorstep like a package. NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH!: The fact is, so called "mail order bride" services, work more in this fashion: The guy contacts the company and sends them money for the "addresses" or "contact info." on the girl of their choice. The company complies and sends them the info.. The guy then tries to contact the girl he has chosen. If the girl wishes, she will contact the guy to let her know she is interested...and if all goes well, a relationship developers, and then the possibility for marriage. Get it?! YOU ARE NOT PURCHASING THE GIRL HERSELF, BUT THE INFORMATION OF HOW TO CONTACT THE GIRL YOU WISH TO MEET.

Point #2: There is no guarantee that the girl is going to like or even love you --- and even if a long-term relationship develops, there is still the possibility it could go sour, and she's free to leave the relationship at her own will. And to "Think Brothers" despite your popular belief that she is now enslaved to you, SHE IS NOT INDENTURED TO THE GUY IN ANYWAY -- at least, not by U.S. law (I don't know how things are in your country). And by if any chance a marriage develops, and she decides wants out, than the laws of your country as pertaining to ending a marriage will apply.

So, to "think brothers" your idea that when you use a 'mail order bride' service, you are now entitled legal ownership of the female you've paid to CONTACT, as if she is some pathetic pice of property to be used at your own will, anyway you choose, is completely bizarre and absurd!! SO I SUGGEST YOU CHECK YOUR ALARM CLOCK AND WAKE UP!!

And as for your "In fact I think slavery has done so much damage mentally that most cannot think right" statement, as pertaining to African-Americans, I THINK YOU NEED TO TAKE A SERIOUS LOOK IN THE MIRROR!!
Casual Dreamer    Monday, October 22, 2001 at 18:06:21 (PDT)
To: Just my 2 cents,

You say that I am truly a dreamer because I seem to think "Asian Honey's parents may have had other problems with her Black boyfriend besides his race". Hey, there is something seriously wrong with you, and I think I know what it is --- Apparently you're the narrow-minded type: You think things are strictly the way you see them, rather than the way they really are, ignoring other possibilities when the opportunity to have another opinion, or point of view, presents itself. As a quick recap, Asian honey's statement was this:
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"the primary reason I discontinued the relationship was due to my parents, but that's a long story"
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SHE NEVER SAID WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN HER PARENTS, HER BOYFRIEND, & HERSELF; therefore, it's fair (and the keyword is "FAIR") to say that "WE REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED" hence, IT'S FAIR FOR US TO ASSUME ANYTHING WE WANT --- I mean, whose to say, but her and the people that was involved in the situation...right?

Now, don't get me wrong, I understand just why a person might see it in a way that would suggest that Asian Honey's parents may not have liked her boyfriend due to his race, for I thought the same thing when I first read her post; however, because she never actually told what happened, I also realized that we, the readers, really and truly don't know what the situation was...do we? I'm not saying Asian Honey's parents didn't like her boyfriend due to his race, I'm just saying other things are possible --- and they are.

I'm not going to take this any further, for I belive my point is imminently clear. I just wish that you --- just my 2 cents --- would open your mind a little more, and see things for the way they are, instead of the way you want them to be.
Causal Dreamer    Monday, October 22, 2001 at 14:29:22 (PDT)
JustMY2Cents,

Yes I agree with you that family DOES matter, but sooner or later you must go and start your own family. And who you choose to start your family with is your decision, and not your parents. The most important thing in any relationship is love. I believe as long as you love the person then what others think about your relationship shouldn't matter. Yes there are many other women out there but there is only one who's made just for you. I think it's stupid to give up on someone you love just because his/her family won't accept you. Just because you get along with someone's family doesn't mean that person will be the right person for you.
azn sweetie    Monday, October 22, 2001 at 14:09:53 (PDT)
Thaihorse:
good luck on your exam, what your musical goals ???

SlipperySlope    Monday, October 22, 2001 at 08:21:58 (PDT)
In response to:
Casual Dreamer and Just a friend

Did you read some post one idiot wrote about Looking for asian who want mandingo di** that's an example of what i'm talking about. Isn't that sad or what?

Most posts seems like I have to have an asian woman or else( i will be dead)!

There was a post by Asian honey/ Los Angeles in which she mentioned that she used to go out with a Black guy but now with an Asian Guy. Are you guys nuts or what? are you saying that she can't even go out with someone of her own race? despite the fact that she admitted going out with one of us but discontinued due to parental pressure. I don't think that it is a crime to love and respect your parents, is it? please stop vilifying the poor lady!

As for me, i met my wife when I was 15 and she was 14 at school. we are together since( i am 28) blessed with 2 children.

One more thing, i am not an American. I am a Black English and she is Chinese Scotish.

Obviously i had a few problems with her parents at the relationship early stage due to the age and not colour! but that was in the long past.

My wife told me about Goldsea, she read some post and was shocked! when i read some of these posts as well, i realise most people here are American!

They usually think Europe is a state!
African is a state
Indian people are Taliban
Chinese is Korean (vice versa) etc!

For people to think there is nothing wrong with mail order bride is simply unbelievable! to me this is just like another slavery! Are you a lamer or something? i'd rather chat up a woman at the shopping centre or a library than purchase one!.

Have you no shame in buying another human being to come and cook and serve you?

One thing that i realise from these guys is that even though we are the same colour, we differ in so many ways!

Most of us here in England certainly have different priorities and values than our black siblings in America!

Infact I think slavery has done so much damage mentally that most cannot think right!

Women are not a commodity!


thinkbrothers T    Monday, October 22, 2001 at 05:20:38 (PDT)
To Casual Dreamer: You are truly a dreamer if you think Asian Honey's parents had any other problem with her Black boyfriend besides his race.

And to SEA JUSTO: Japanese people are very good at being polite on the outside and being very hateful on the inside. It's almost worst than someone just showing out-right that they are racist.

To Azn Sweetie: No, that's not good enough, when there are millions of other women out there, just as beautiful, nice and kind who have families who will be accepting and loving. I don't know why people try to act like the family doesn't matter. They raised you your whole life and will have strong influence and cause turmoil and unhappiness. No, sorry, that's not good enough. Everyone knows that relationships require more than just love and happiness. There needs to be deep down security and supporive family members, unless you don't mind just running away from your family.


thanks again!
JustMY2Cents    Sunday, October 21, 2001 at 18:06:28 (PDT)

To: Jah Caribbean man

You thought "this site was designed for Asian Women and Black men who wanted to discuss issues at a higher level, and maybe find friendship or love, as the case may be"...right? Well, that may be...but to be fair and impartial about it, the title of this forum is "Asian Female/African-American male relationship". It does not specify that it's only for the reason you mentioned; therefore, it's fair to say It's also for "ANYBODY" who has an opinion about the topic (and the issues of that topic) at hand, regardless of their opinion, good or bad...positive or negative. Got it? I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't like all the negative shit being thrown about with in this poll either, for I'm an African-American male who is interested in women of Asian descent...and I, too, think negative statements are bad...but then, again, people do have a right to their opinion(s). See ya'.
Casual Dreamer    Sunday, October 21, 2001 at 17:36:52 (PDT)

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