ASIAN FEMALE/ AFRICAN AMERICAN MALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are an Asian female, what most attracts you to African American males?
Their facial features | 45%
Their physique | 12%
Their attitude and personality | 32%
Their education & cultural values | 11%

Assuming you are an Asian female, what most dissuades you from relations with African American males?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 13%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 64%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 23% 		Assuming you are an African American male, what most attracts you to Asian females?
Their facial features | 62%
Their physique | 13%
Their attitude and personality | 15%
Their education & cultural values | 10%

Assuming you are an African American male, what most dissuades you from relations with Asian females?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 6%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 81%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family and friends. | 12%

Hello!

It seems the postboard has slowed down some, so I have a question I would like to post. (and I seem to have lost contact with someone who may post here, so I would like to see if I can get in contact with them over here).

Why do some of us feel that we can not do enough to satisify our parents? I love my parents, but I always seem to get the worst fortune when I place their wishes above my own. I am very subservient to their sway, I don't have a problem with that; I usually recieve good fortune in the end. But I always know that I have to be dragged in the fire before anything is resolved to their satisfaction. And yet, if they ask me to do anything for them again, I will do it without question or complaint. (at least none they can hear!) :)


I value my parents wisdom and I will readily admit that theirs is superior to my own; but why is it that I feel so trapped and useless when I am summoned to execute their requests? When I went to school, I was known as a excellent student, as a teacher's assistant I was requested by many teachers; I was even asked to help teachers in the Bachelor Degree program while I was still going! But when I see my parents, I can only think of the tests that I did not do good on, or what I don't know. I want to be the best in their eyes, and yet I always feel like I can't be good enough for them or do anything right for them.

Does anyone feel me on this?
jamerican_me delewis7@yahoo.com    Friday, December 21, 2001 at 01:18:07 (PST)
Most of the time I find that Asian women date only Asian men- due to family obligations or they're dating White men. Both have to be "professionals" meaning suit,tie & briefcase to work. Wich pretty much leaves me out as a Black man who totes a video camera to work...though I AM a professional...
irubya irubya@yahoo.com    Thursday, December 20, 2001 at 21:18:55 (PST)
Hello to everyone out there. I've been reading the things on your site and it's been interesting to hear from everyone. I think I have a little experience in the area of Asian/African American relationships. I am currently living in Japan as part of the US military and I am seeing a japanese woman. I've seen alot of the interracial relationships between not only blacks and japanese but also whites,phillipinos and spanish. I don't know if it is because we are all living here together but we are all mixed up. I've never seen so many mixed couples in my entire life. The beautiful thing about it is that everyone is not hating each other. I can't speak for everyone but I think some of the things that are attracting all the american men to these women is a combination of things. First of all japanese women tend to be very caring and considerate to their male friends. Second,they are extremely feminine and take very good care of their bodies and really take pride in their outside appearance. Third, very few of them are overweight and for the most part they are very healthy. I'm from Philadelphia and dated black, white and spanish women before and I can say from my experience that they(japanese women) tend to be a lot more affectionate than most women. Depending on who you talk to that can be a plus or minus. For instance in public they'll stick to you like glue and always want to hold your hand and when I say that I mean everytime without failure! That's with black,white or whatever else they happen to be with. I must say there is a certain sexiness to having something different and new from yourself that adds to the relationship. You're constantly learning about each other and trying to feel each other out. Sometimes my girlfriend and I just put our hands together and look at the difference and wonder how can we be together but we are. I think it's amazing. As for perception of our relationship,sure there are naysayers but it doesn't divide us. It's all on the individual. Asian and Black relationships are thriving and from what I can tell will continue to do so. I know just about every guy Iknow that goes home to states either to visit or permanently has been singing the praises of Asian women to all their friends back home. Not only blacks but whites as well. Take a look at pop culture and you see things of Asian orientation everywhere from the popularity of asian women in videos(especially hip-hop) and the explosion of people wanting kanji or "japanese letter tattoos". TV, Lucy Liu who is considered one of the most attractive women on television has men of all types lusting after her. I think I recognize the phenomenon more because of my situation but surely its been there for a long time. I'll finally bring my message to a close by saying that Asian/Black relationships are wonderful and can be lasting if both people want it. Asian women and culture are beautiful and can be embraced by all. Asian/black...a match made in heaven!
Big Mike25 azsoyboy@hotmail.com    Thursday, December 20, 2001 at 19:55:17 (PST)
I am an African-American male who happens to adore Asian women.I have had some very good relations with many Asian women,and some not so good,but that's life.It is not that I reject Black women
(or any other women),but I prefer what I prefer because that is me! It's sad that in todays racial climate,you can't be with whom you want without negative comments from someone or other. If you find somene you like,and who likes you,go for it!
steve c carrier_steven@hotmail.com    Thursday, December 20, 2001 at 11:08:10 (PST)
Stacy:
Nice story, thanks, good luck !
the visitor    Tuesday, December 11, 2001 at 08:56:42 (PST)
Hey Neokat,

You wanted some advice about what Asian language would be good to learn? Well, I don't know what nationality you are, but I'm American, and when I was in high school, the word I got from my guidance counselor, was that "Japanese" is a good language to learn because the U.S. does a lot of business with Japan. I guess that's true, because, where I live now, the only Asian language that is offered at the local university in my town, is Japanese.

As for your race, Neokat, I have no idea, but I'm African-American, and have lived in both, the northeast and the southern part of the U.S., where most of the Asian people I've came into contact with where either Chinese or Korean...so those are some more choices you may want to consider. Oh, by the way, I've heard many different Asian languages, in my lifetime, and personally, I like Hangul (Korean language) the most (I like the way it sounds).

Good luck!
Casual Dreamer    Friday, December 07, 2001 at 17:17:36 (PST)

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