ASIAN FEMALE/ AFRICAN AMERICAN MALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are an Asian female, what most attracts you to African American males?
Their facial features | 45%
Their physique | 12%
Their attitude and personality | 32%
Their education & cultural values | 11%

Assuming you are an Asian female, what most dissuades you from relations with African American males?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 13%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 64%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 23% 		Assuming you are an African American male, what most attracts you to Asian females?
Their facial features | 62%
Their physique | 13%
Their attitude and personality | 15%
Their education & cultural values | 10%

Assuming you are an African American male, what most dissuades you from relations with Asian females?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 6%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 81%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family and friends. | 12%

I'm really atracted to Asian women, but I'm not sure many of them find black men can be respectful to them. I hope to change that attitude if it exist.
Indyy66 Indyy66@hotmail.com    Saturday, February 23, 2002 at 20:54:03 (PST)
To kwp,

Only time can answer your questions about the person's interest in you. You could look at some things like:

1. has he made efforts to learn more about your language and culture
2. does he want to meet your friends and family (and does he want you to meet his friends and family)
3. does he act the same way around you whether you are with a group of people or just the two of you
4. does he treat you with respect and makes time to be with you

There are more things to list but I think you understand what I'm getting at. I want to try to have a relationship with an Asian woman someday and I'm sure there will be some cultural differences to sort out, but on the whole I think all women want the same things from their men, love, fidelity and respect.
Thaihorse    Friday, February 22, 2002 at 15:03:49 (PST)
KWP,

Nice post; however, I have one question. You stated:
--------------------
"The only downfall would have to be if he is dating me for me, or just dating me because I'm "different and exotic"
--------------------
You see, it's this part "if he isdaitng me for me"; You mentioned it as a downfall-- why? What's wrong with daiting a girl for who she is? Or did you mean "if he is NOT dating me for me"? Just curious, that's all?
Casual Dreamer    Friday, February 22, 2002 at 14:06:54 (PST)
kwp:
I don't think a brotha would be interested just because you're exotic looking. After all there are other types of exotic women available. Black women for example can be pretty damn exotic themselves and sexy as hell too!!!
jus what i'm thinkin    Friday, February 22, 2002 at 13:57:10 (PST)
I've always found African-American men appealing. Their whole persona is attractive and exciting. I've always dated African-American men, but the only downfall would have to be if he is dating me for me, or just dating me because I'm "different and exotic".
kwp    Friday, February 22, 2002 at 09:16:59 (PST)
I'm a Black man who's been married to an Asian lady for 17 years. I like this site, especially because it gives me a chance to respond to polls.
d dreadesdca@hotmail.com    Tuesday, February 19, 2002 at 14:33:57 (PST)
To Pokey,

Thank you for your words of support. I was wondering, would you mind e-mailing me sometimes, I would like to hear more about your experiences in Japan and I would like some advice on what things to bring with me, what kind of things to expect and what are some things to do and not do while over there.

I am struggling with trying to learn Japanese, I can read and write it somewhat (I don't know enough kanji yet) and my speaking skills suck!

I blew a Japanese course last semester so now I am starting over on my own and working with a tutor, specifically on speaking. I would like to stay in Japan on a long-term basis but I am concerned about how well I could manage there without having a strong grasp of the language yet. I assume living there would be the best environment to learn the language, but I am a little afraid of "total immersion" at this time.

Any advice or insight you are willing to share would be appreciated.
Thaihorse THAIHORSEyancy@netscape.net    Monday, February 18, 2002 at 18:53:52 (PST)
Hi Thaihorse,

Enjoyed reading about your experience. And yes, you hit the nail right on the head. Being in work/school situations with Asian women, they're able to see you for who you really are as a person. In bars/clubs there's not much opportunity to get beyond the surface, so a lot of impressions in those places are based on stereotypes.

I've been involved with some Asian women over the last several years -- the bulk of those relationships coming from the time I spent living and working in Japan (and my return visits there). Some of the women even told me that they had certain impressions of me as a black man upon first meeting me. But once they got to know me and see me for who I was, they stopped thinking of me as a "black guy" and started seeing me as a guy who they were attracted to because of my personality.

(I myself became surprised at how, after awhile, the black thing DIDN'T matter to them at all. Sometimes when walking down the street THEY would be the one to take my hand, either completely oblivious or just not caring about the stares from passerby).
Pokey    Sunday, February 17, 2002 at 10:07:33 (PST)

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