ASIAN FEMALE/ AFRICAN AMERICAN MALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are an Asian female, what most attracts you to African American males?
Their facial features | 45%
Their physique | 12%
Their attitude and personality | 32%
Their education & cultural values | 11%

Assuming you are an Asian female, what most dissuades you from relations with African American males?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 13%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 64%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 23% 		Assuming you are an African American male, what most attracts you to Asian females?
Their facial features | 62%
Their physique | 13%
Their attitude and personality | 15%
Their education & cultural values | 10%

Assuming you are an African American male, what most dissuades you from relations with Asian females?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 6%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 81%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family and friends. | 12%

It is good to see that this web site has been restored to it's original format. I visited a couple of weeks ago and I was confused on how to use it properly. I also began to worry that people would stop writing and that the exchange of ideas, opinions and true stories would stop. I came back, determined to try to write something anyway, to try to keep the "conversation" going. I'm glad to be able to still contribute, but also to see that things are getting back to normal anyway.

I recently heard from another poster on Goldsea and hearing of his marriage to a Japanese woman and how things are working out made me feel very good. It helps me very much to know that I am not alone in how I feel and that want I want (a love relationship with an Asian woman) is very possible! I know at times it will be difficult as well, but I feel the reward of a successful and happy marriage still outweigh the hurdles of getting through the minefields of upset family and friends and a generally racist society. In time, the people that truly love and care about you will accept this special person in your life when they see how happy they make you and accept that you two are going to stay together, no matter what!

I will keep visiting this site, contributing when I can and I will keep seeking out advice, inspiration and friendship from the other posters on this board. I'm so glad we still have this place to meet and exchange ideas at.
Thaihorse THAIHORSEyancy@netscape.net    Sunday, April 28, 2002 at 03:49:00 (PDT)
I like Japanese women. If there are any cute Japanese women out there who want a well-educated (I'm a research scientist) and truly intelligent black boyfriend who is also good-looking then send me some email.
JazzDaddy jazzlovedaddy@hotmail.com    Saturday, April 27, 2002 at 20:57:10 (PDT)
To all who read this.

I am a Black male. I am also 6 feet 10 inches tall. I am VERY physically intimidating. I lived in Japan for 8 years.
Let me tell you, since I read the book Shogun, I had wanted to go to Japan. When I got to college, I met a girl who was Japanese. I had the biggest crush on her. She liked me and we were friends. I never knew she felt the same way I did because I never gave it time.
You see, here in the U.S., because of the media, we have this "If you like them, & they like you there will be instant romance" idea. In other countries, it sometimes takes much more time to develop a relationship with someone. Because really, how well can you really know someone unless you talk with them and spend time with them.
To add to that, other cultures have different signals to indicate whether or not someone likes you. Someone mentioned that asian women smile a lot. Sometimes it's just being polite, othertimes its a face saving gesture, saying, "you're sweet but not my type". Unless you talk TO them, you will never know.
Many Black men try to talk AT a woman when they're interested. When I say talk "at", I'm talking about "spitting game" at someone. That's the wrong approach, especially with someone from a different background.
For the Black men out there interested in Asian women, I suggest you talk to them. But don't talk about yourself excpet in response to something they say. We DO tend to be overagressive sometimes and dont mean to be.
Begin by asking her open-ended questions such as "What did you think of the movie Titanic?" It is a question that needs more than a yes/no answer or a linear response. Example, "What's you favorite color?" only will give you a one word answer sometimes.
We sometimes talk overmuch about ourselves or our experiences. Try asking her about herself and her experiences. You'll be surprised.

Now if you've gotten past this point and you think you might be meeting her family, start learning as much as you can about the languge and culture. Noone wants a son-in-law they cant talk to.
You WILL also have to go out of your way to make sure you don't present them with any stereotypical behaviours. But for us, that is par for the course. Story of our lives. (for some).
But above all, be PROUD of who and what you are, but don't get hung up on it. Example, some Blacks (read african-americans) are so caught up, that they won't consider listening or watching anything that doesnt have blacks in it or recording it. That's just plain ignorant. But since you are here, I don't think that's you.
I am married to a Japanese woman & we have 2 sons who are beautiful.

To the person who mentioned about the Sambo books. Those aren't sold anymore and African American culture is getting a good hard look in Japan. But I'll speak more on that later.

Oh, by the way, most asian women DON'T know martial arts. So don't ask them.

Six-Ten Black Male elronin@insight.rr.com    Saturday, April 27, 2002 at 12:52:17 (PDT)
If any asian women would like to meet a cool black 26yo male, email me at slickattire@yahoo.com
Jay thomas slickattire@yahoo.com    Thursday, April 25, 2002 at 21:31:15 (PDT)
You know what I love best about black men? They are strong and aren't afraid to speak up and stick up for me in public. They are handsome, articulate, intelligent and vocal. They protect me; I feel so safe when I am with them. This has been my experience in dating black men. I'd give out my email to you single guys, but my husband would not be pleased by that.

Lotus Blossom in the U.S.    Thursday, April 25, 2002 at 14:32:35 (PDT)
Muhammad:

I also used to believe that black men didn't like us. I grew up in central L.A. and the children there used to call me ugly all the time. I can't tell you how many times I was beaten up and spat at. When I was 8 I had a crush on a fellow student but he didn't like me ... at all.

Today I know differently and I am happy to have realized that many black men do like us.
Soul Searching    Thursday, April 25, 2002 at 14:03:41 (PDT)
to My Life:

Not all Asian women are like that. There are many that are open-minded and **loooove** black men. Please don't be turned away because of your bad past experience. My good friend is dating a sweet and cute black man and I have never seen her so happy before.

From talking to many Asian women, we thought black men didn't like us.
Freckled Face    Thursday, April 25, 2002 at 13:53:03 (PDT)
to Todd Parks

You are soooooooo cool! My good friend (she's Chinese) is currently dating a really cute and sweet black male. She told me this the other day: "once you go black you never go back." I think they've been talking about marriage. I can't wait til they have kids........will be soooooo cute!
Freckled Face CF    Thursday, April 25, 2002 at 13:44:42 (PDT)

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