ASIAN FEMALE/ AFRICAN AMERICAN MALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are an Asian female, what most attracts you to African American males?
Their facial features | 45%
Their physique | 12%
Their attitude and personality | 32%
Their education & cultural values | 11%

Assuming you are an Asian female, what most dissuades you from relations with African American males?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 13%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 64%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 23% 		Assuming you are an African American male, what most attracts you to Asian females?
Their facial features | 62%
Their physique | 13%
Their attitude and personality | 15%
Their education & cultural values | 10%

Assuming you are an African American male, what most dissuades you from relations with Asian females?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 6%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 81%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family and friends. | 12%

hey confused,
I know what you mean when you say that. I live here in the midwest and I see it happen everyday when they say "I don't date black guys" Most of the time here, they don't give you the time of day, unless you have alot of money. Alot of it is family acceptence, from both sides. Some of it is how black people is precived in society on how they "living the sterotype". I know alot of asians who would date black people like myslef, but they perfer not to.
lance99 laurent99_1999@yahoo.com    Monday, May 13, 2002 at 07:24:35 (PDT)
I am currently married to a Taiwanese women. I, like a lot of brothers, never paid Asian women any attention, prior to going to Taiwan on business about four years ago. I’ve been told by my wife, who has yet to let her family know about us. That her father basically categorized blacks as un-intelligent and poor. As a result, they were to be avoided. Being black and in Taiwan is still however, quite an experience. I found most Taiwanese to be quite curious about blacks, since they usually only see on TV in our usually stereotypical roles.

From what I know, my wife is atypical in the extreme. While she has dated Asian and black; she now only has interest in black men. I’ve traveled for four years to several foreign countries and have found that being black can be very good, depending on where you hangout after work. My favorite place is RnB Hip-Hop clubs. Brothers can find a lot of love in places like these where a large percentage of the patronage is clearly black friendly.

While back in the USSR(US that is). I began to notice far more attention from Asian women. My assessment of the situation was that this attention was always there and that I never noticed.

While its clear that a significant percentage of ALL races consider black to be something to be avoided. I believe that there are more than enough women of other races available, for brothers not so hung up on the “baby got back” problem that keeps a large percentage of black men from even noticing those that are interested and of another race.

Moving along to the point. My forty-two years on planet earth cause me to conclude that Asians ARE one of the most RACIST races of people on the planet. They tend to be far more entrenched in their culture and are far more sensitive to cultural perception.

However people are still people. RACIST is a built in self-preservation mechanism that will not stand the test of time. Human physical attraction will eventually make race a non-issue in a few lifetimes.

Despite the fact that all human are more than 99.9 percent the same at the DNA level and a 1.5% difference constitutes a new species. Black will continue to be loathed in this way for some time.

But, as you no doubt already know; blacks are veterans at dealing with this issue. I’m not pleased that my wife has yet to notify her parents and plans to do it via a letter. But I can handle that. I’ve dealt with far bigger issues in my life. I’m too old to let the un-informed and totally entrenched to keep me from happiness.

Spend a little time looking at women of other races and a brother will eventually figure out that all races of women are beautiful in their own way.

We can’t change those that hate us. So why try?

On the issue of asking Asian women how the feel. While in Taiwan, I noticed a very peculiar habit of these women that initially turned me off. I’ve always operated on body language. I never bother with a women who gave me no positive body language. However, the women in the club there would display far more subtle indications that they were interested and then go completely cold when I approached them. I might also add that this characteristic was also observed in other races of females.

Why is this? In the Asian community, “Saving face” is extremely important issue. As a result, they will not always truthfully tell what they really think.

So! Take your time. Don’t try to rush it. Just let it flow. I saw my wife in the club on several occasions and never made any major advance other than to talk to her on occasion without getting too personal.

I know that everyone can not met a women in a club and expect her to show up again. However, I believe that there are many other situations where something similar to this is possible. I’ve noticed that even if they like you they will not give any indication for some time.


Obviously,

This is only my opinion!

Black Male sthomas369@attbi.com    Sunday, May 12, 2002 at 22:57:27 (PDT)
To Confused:

I agree with you that there is something wrong with this picture. As one of the "too enamored" BM's that post on this site I wouldn't expect you to give my views much wieght, but I agree that any of us seriously considering a relationship with an AF has to look realistically at what we are trying to get into.

I won't waste anyone's time here discussing the preferance of white skin in Asia. Whites have had hundreds of years to develop the myth of white superiority all over the globe and the affects are still being felt today.

I already know that the odds are greatly against me of having a realationship with an Asian woman. I have to find someone who has gotten over her own prejudices and perceptions, then we will have to deal with her family and friends and Asian and American society as well. Hell, I should just forget the whole damn thing, it's too hard and no one is worth going through all that kind of trouble for.

I love Asian women, but they are not the ultimate experience on earth, no one person or thing is. I don't believe in letting others tell me whom I can or cannot be with and I still have faith in human nature. As time goes on and people experience other cultures and see that we have far more in common than different, I honestly think things will get better. Our generation is pretty screwed up, as are several of the ones before us, but I think eventually the young people will get it right.

And lastly, since I have been observing/studying Asian culture very closely for the last few years I know for a fact that it is far from perfect and most Asians know this as well. It's just a matter of holding out for someone who can deal with living the kind of life they want with whomever they want, someone who will tell society to take their prejudices and hang-ups and stick them where the sun don't shine!

Needless to say, these people are very hard to find, but as I said earlier, I still have hope (and maybe a little fear since I saw 'Audition' last night) :)

Anyway, that's my "two-cents" on this topic.
Thaihorse    Sunday, May 12, 2002 at 13:08:51 (PDT)

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