ASIAN FEMALE/ AFRICAN AMERICAN MALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are an Asian female, what most attracts you to African American males?
Their facial features | 45%
Their physique | 12%
Their attitude and personality | 32%
Their education & cultural values | 11%

Assuming you are an Asian female, what most dissuades you from relations with African American males?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 13%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 64%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 23% 		Assuming you are an African American male, what most attracts you to Asian females?
Their facial features | 62%
Their physique | 13%
Their attitude and personality | 15%
Their education & cultural values | 10%

Assuming you are an African American male, what most dissuades you from relations with Asian females?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 6%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 81%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family and friends. | 12%

I don't seem to be able to get over my ex. We have been broken up for 2 yrs now. I still can't get her out of my mind. I know she was the one for me, I can just tell. I was always there for her when she needed me to be there. I still love this woman so much. I call her on the phone asking for another chance, she just tells me she doesn't want to be in a committment. I know shes the one for me. I feel like we are soulmates. I can tell she still loves me too. I would help her out with money whenever she needed rent or car payments, clothes, food or anything. I just don't understand why it has to end. My brother says shes not the one for me. He says I am being used by her. But I can tell shes a good woman. She has something about her that tells me that shes the one for me. I can't even look at another woman without visualizing her. I have had chances to be with someone else, but something inside me won't let me. Shes all I think about 247. I can't get her out of my mind. I call her on the phone and she acts like we are just friends sometimes. Then when she needs me financially, she pours her heart out to me. And I can't help but want to protect, and be there for her. I know she doesn't have anyone to be there for her. We have spent some special times together. She has told me she wanted a real relationshp, not a bunch of games. I don't want to play any games. I want something real with her. I have never wanted to committ before, to any woman. Now I feel different. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I want to take care of her and give her my heart. People keep telling me over and over that shes not the one for me. But a man knows when a woman is that special one. Don't you agree fellas?
I mean, at least it feels that way. If anyone has any insight on this please let me know. My heart feels like its breaking when I think about it. I can't take it sometimes. I don't know what to do. If anyone has insight on this, please.
Darryl M.    Thursday, May 16, 2002 at 00:53:53 (PDT)
I'm sad to read about the negative experiences of some of the fellas here.

Well, I have a close friend named Wes. He's African American. He and I have been friends forever and we dated for awhile. Though we stopped dating, we remain close friends. He's so handsome, charming, sweet and intelligent. And I miss him. And I will always love him.

We never felt like there were cultural or racial differences at all. His mom and I got along great. I'd go over and she'd teach me how to make the best chili and hamhock and greens. And my family love him. They just wanted me to be happy more than anything. And Wes was practically family. He spoke some Chinese (I taught him) and used chop sticks better than me. And my folks were disappointed when we didn't work out.

Well, anyhow, he relocated to Japan for work. There he met and dated a *whole* bunch of Japanese women. (Actually, he dated lots of Asian women here too.) Heck, it made me mad jealous. Well anyhow he's now getting married and his fiance is about to have a baby. And though I'll always love him, I want him to be happy. I know he'll make a wonderful daddy and a great husband. She's really lucky.

So this is my story and I think Asians and African Americans are very similiar in many ways and have a lot of love to share with each other.
Lotus Blossom    Wednesday, May 15, 2002 at 02:49:22 (PDT)
Before I begin I just wanted to say a friendly hello to all the posters on this site. I've been observing this site for quite sometime; and many of the poster strike me as intelligent individuals willing to have open worthwhile dicussions on various topics revolving around their communities which is absolutely great.

Anyway I feel like sharing some of my personal life regarding this poll I myself is currently in a 5yr relationship with a beautiful asian originally from Vietnam and when we met we just connected perfectly however her parents especially her mother was totally against the relationship. Her mother explained that it was okay to be friends with Blacks but not to date them without really explaining why; well that erupted into a arguement that eventually involved her father stepping in and expressing his opinion he explained to her that blacks were considered low and that me being black wouldn't be a suitable fit for her. They tried to reason with her promising that they would gladly except the next person she chose to date as long as it wasn't me.

It strange how people can depise you so much without even getting to know you. Another thing I found so interesting was how her father so quickly categorized me as being low. I am definitely well rounded as a person and can more than provide for his daughter if need be probably more than he possibly could but because I'm black that can't be the case. I've heard on occasion how some people percieve asians to be somewhat wealthy I think some people have to understand that does not reflect many asians. I've lived among asians for most of life and I know this isn't the case although some stereotypes sometimes have a shred of truth to them many asian people are just average middle-class citizens making a living not the rich tycoon type like in the HK movies. I really think that all ethinc communities should work collectively to make this world a better place for you and for me and forget about social classification

PEACE!!

Newcomer from Canada Ontario
Newcomer    Tuesday, May 14, 2002 at 22:46:58 (PDT)

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