ASIAN FEMALE/ AFRICAN AMERICAN MALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are an Asian female, what most attracts you to African American males?
Their facial features | 45%
Their physique | 12%
Their attitude and personality | 32%
Their education & cultural values | 11%

Assuming you are an Asian female, what most dissuades you from relations with African American males?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 13%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 64%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 23% 		Assuming you are an African American male, what most attracts you to Asian females?
Their facial features | 62%
Their physique | 13%
Their attitude and personality | 15%
Their education & cultural values | 10%

Assuming you are an African American male, what most dissuades you from relations with Asian females?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 6%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 81%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family and friends. | 12%

Speaking as an African-American male, I find asian women extremely attractive, caring and supportive. Just the love the sight of them!!!!
Gee geefigee@aol.com    Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 10:57:44 (PDT)
It made me very happy to read the comments from Chang and the other women who have posted recently. I feel encouraged to know that under the right circumstances, an Asian woman would be willing to consider a man of color as a suitable mate. I have often felt that the workplace or an educational setting would be the likely place where they both could meet and be allowed to have suitable time to observe and get to know one another. For a long time I have felt that I would possibly receive a better response from Asian women who have not been "Americanized" and tainted with the stereotypes and prejudices most people have over here. Now I don't think that matters at all, people everywhere have their own views and hang-ups. If she is the right one (and is open-minded and mature) you'll soon see that and if something is meant to happen then it will.

Everyone take care and please keep the discussion going, I like coming here again!
Thaihorse THAIHORSEyancy@netscape,net    Thursday, June 13, 2002 at 07:22:40 (PDT)
I totally agree with Ben (posted on April 29) regarding not only the Asian family that sometimes will have problem with their daughter is dating or marrying a Black male, but also the guy family also have the same problem with their son dating/marrying an Asian woman.
I am speaking from experience. I am an Asian female, from Malaysia, married to a Jamaican guy. My family accepted him from the beginning and really loves him like their own son, but his family, especially his mom, totally against our marriage, and now won't even talk to me or him. She criticized my background, my culture, my religion, my parents, ..everything...

Anyway, I won't go into detail, but we are happily married, has been 1 1/2 years, and those years are the best time in our life!

I just want to let you all know that those issue about parents disagree with their kid's choice of partner, goes both way, to the Asian family and also to the Black family..
elin    Wednesday, June 12, 2002 at 10:48:08 (PDT)
I was reading your post and totally agreed with both recent articles about how the images of black men are misrepresented by the way that most of them dress, talk and act. True the movies and television has helped to paint a negative image, but most of this negavity still comes from thier own personal attitudes. I'm an Asian lady, well educated, hard working and very close to my family and community. I don't see a real big problem with dating outside of my race, but I'd never consider dating a black man that I feel isn't presentable to both my family and friends alike. Most black men that I have contact with are well educated, with good communications skills, and nice but that's only a very small percentage. I don't have any experience with the blackness issue, but too many black men always appear that they've just jumped out of a rap video with gestures and dress that I find to be both immature and sterotyping. My boss is a black man and he's the most intelligent man that I've ever met, has a wonderful personality, extremely well spoken and is generally both a handsome and nice individual. But how many black men are like that? I don't view him as being "too white" he's just worked hard to get where he is today. Why blacks are critical of other blacks that are willing to assimilate through hard work just doesn't make sense. It's like they (blacks) don't want anyone to be successful if they too can't share in the rewards of success. I was told just last week by a black collegue that he's about to leave his wife (who's black) because of her unwillingness to learn more about the African culture. I was stunned by this fact! Being Chinese my culture is a very important part of who and what I am, and I'm proud to proclaim this fact to the world. I have friends that would not mind dating a black man, but only the right type of black men, not the hip hop, or ones that can't speak without saying, "you know every other sentence.
It was really good to read the truth about the plight of black men especially from the mouth of a black man.
Chang    Wednesday, June 12, 2002 at 05:54:20 (PDT)
I think I can agree with most of what Eric says. I know there is a whole lot of pain still left in the black community, so much still unresolved even after the first African were brough to the US. But we have to take a look at how far we have come, too. (We did not get where we are today for accepting handouts!)

First of all, I am an African American woman who choses to acknowledge all her ancestory. I have been seen as an oddity in the family and among my peers (of all races!) because I have a tendancy toward going out with Asian men. They think I should go out with a black man because I am black. At the same time, they don't let the boundaries discourage them from dating anyone they want. Funny, isn't it?

Second, there is nothing wrong with a preference. If you have a good sense of your cultural identity and your mind hasn't been clouded by what the media tells you your preferences should be, then do what suits you. A preference does not mean the person is automatically shutting their doors to others. As long as the physical doesn't outweigh the emotional or mental part of the relationship. Besides, I wouldn't want to waste my time pursuing a guy who wasn't interested.

I am so glad I found this website. Hell, the Asian American community has the same problems as we do! We could learn a lot from each other.

To the Asian women on this board, I am so glad to see women of other races not being discouraged by the media stereotypes of black men. It's disheartening to see that many of us get overlooked as potential partners because of the lies. Thanks for taking care of my black brothas.

Joy    Tuesday, June 11, 2002 at 23:20:09 (PDT)
I believe that our hearts want what it wants, regardless of social taboos.
photosforyoutosee    Tuesday, June 11, 2002 at 21:35:09 (PDT)

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