ASIAN FEMALE/ AFRICAN AMERICAN MALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are an Asian female, what most attracts you to African American males?
Their facial features | 45%
Their physique | 12%
Their attitude and personality | 32%
Their education & cultural values | 11%

Assuming you are an Asian female, what most dissuades you from relations with African American males?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 13%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 64%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 23% 		Assuming you are an African American male, what most attracts you to Asian females?
Their facial features | 62%
Their physique | 13%
Their attitude and personality | 15%
Their education & cultural values | 10%

Assuming you are an African American male, what most dissuades you from relations with Asian females?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 6%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 81%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family and friends. | 12%

To Elronin:

Thank you for the advice. I understand what you are saying and I will definitely take it to heart.

I have been interested in Asia and Asian culture for most of my life, I have read many books, seen many films and talked extensively to people about Asia whenever I've gotten the chance.

Of the many different cultures in Asia I believe that I "click" most with the Japanese culture. I feel I do understand it to a greater extent (even if I don't always agree with its reasons.)

I agree that Japanese women shouldn't be my only reason for interest in Japan and that never was the case. However to me, women still are a great mystery at times and I assume Asian women are no exception to that rule.

I have taken extensive steps to make the time to properly study the Japanese language and culture and to continue to improve my job skills to prepare myself to live and function within another culture. I admit that I think about the possibilities of having a relationship with someone because I haven't had love in my life for a long time. I am lonely at times, but not desperate enough to jump into a meaningless relationship based solely on sex or other superficial concerns.

There is something deep within me pulling me to the Far East, I can't explain what it is but I believe it is similar to your own reasons for going there. Unfortunately, I won't already be completed or fulfilled before going there and I sincerely hope that along with fulfilling some intellectual and spiritual needs that I will also eventually find compainionship over there.

Anyway, thank you again for you advice.
Thaihorse THAIHORSEyancy@netscape.net    Wednesday, June 19, 2002 at 08:44:09 (PDT)
This is a fascinating topic. Thank you for sharing it.
Niger-Congo    Tuesday, June 18, 2002 at 16:30:24 (PDT)
I am a black male who finds Asian women just as fine as my black sisters.
Rob bigballer57@hotmail.com    Tuesday, June 18, 2002 at 10:29:12 (PDT)
Well Thaihorse, I recommend that you learn a specific language. How do you choose which one? Study the different asian cultures. Not just the culture, but get translations of historical documents and fiction about the area. Find out which culture "clicks" the most with you.
For me, I went to Japan for Japan. Not for Japanese women. I ended up with a Japanese wife. If you make a woman your goal, you will lose site of all that the culture and language has to offer.

The BIGGEST thing you can do is assimilate into the culture. Down to wearing the clothes everyone else does. Speaking the language. Keep in mind, that being able to SPEAK a language doesnt make you fluent. In every culture there is certain body language associated with certain words.
Basically what I am saying is BECOME where you are living. Don't give up what you are. Just become something more. Attempt to think in that language. In fact, don't think. FEEL.

Sometimes as Black American men, we have a hard time becoming part of another culture as we havent developed our own too deeply due to the difficulties of slavery. But I notice that Whites don't have that problem as much.

Anyway, dont make women your focus and you'll be fine.
Six-Ten Black Male elronin@insight.rr.com    Monday, June 17, 2002 at 17:25:17 (PDT)
Joy, thank you for your wonderful post. It's nice to hear those sorts of words from a Black woman. I am a Black man married to a Japanese woman. I have been attacked verbally by other Black women about it. Some have even gone so far as to saying I was deficient sexually so I had to find someone easier to please. And its funny. The same type of women who didn't want a guy who was a bookworm, did well in school and wasnt into hip-hop and hip-hop fashions, and spoke proper Englsih most of the time were the ones that attacked me over my choice of partner. Oh well. That's life I guess. I'll keep living.

Again, it's nice to hear from a Black woman with an open mind.
Six-Ten Black Male elronin@insight.rr.com    Sunday, June 16, 2002 at 16:09:40 (PDT)
I had a question that I hope some of you will help me with. When living in Asia, are there different kinds of activities that men should learn about to be able to have more opportunities to interact with Asian women? I know I'll never learn to like shopping, but I know women like to dance, attend plays and cultural events, play musical instuments, exercise etc. But are there are few activities that are of particular interest in Asia that it would be good for men to learn more about? I know each woman is an individual and some of these answers will be different. I also know that it's best to focus on things you have a real interest in, but I was curious just the same. I hope that a few of you will respond.
Thaihorse    Sunday, June 16, 2002 at 09:57:08 (PDT)

NEWEST COMMENTS | EARLIER COMMENTS