ASIAN FEMALE/ AFRICAN AMERICAN MALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are an Asian female, what most attracts you to African American males?
Their facial features | 45%
Their physique | 12%
Their attitude and personality | 32%
Their education & cultural values | 11%

Assuming you are an Asian female, what most dissuades you from relations with African American males?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 13%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 64%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 23% 		Assuming you are an African American male, what most attracts you to Asian females?
Their facial features | 62%
Their physique | 13%
Their attitude and personality | 15%
Their education & cultural values | 10%

Assuming you are an African American male, what most dissuades you from relations with Asian females?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 6%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 81%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family and friends. | 12%

To Joy,

Thank you for the advice. I hope that you will e-mail me sometimes to tell me more about your experiences in Japan.

I have a couple of Japanese pen pals and I know 2 Japanese people living here in the states. I am enjoying getting to know their families and getting to know them better. It is taking time and we have had a few misunderstandings already (though we quickly recovered from them!)

I am a firm believer in the "Golden Rule" and I am glad that you feel it is the best way to go. I know that I will do my best to assimilate into Japanese society as well as in any foriegn country I happen to visit, but I already know that if I do marry an Asian women she will be a little "different" anyway if she loves me enough to defy conventional wisdom (and her family and friends) to marry me! In return for her love, devotion and sacrifice I will give her all of my love and devotion and make whatever sacrifices are necessary for her as well.

It also sounds like I will be spending time at amusement parks, looking at dolphins and seals, going on picnics (and shopping!) I looked at a website for Odaiba. Well, I did say I was willing to make sacrifices--I'll go shopping with her if she wants me to :)
Thaihorse THAIHORSE@netscape.net    Monday, June 24, 2002 at 08:24:29 (PDT)
Six-Ten Black Male,

First, thank you for your kind words. You are likewise encouraging to me! I've said before that many of my family members, although they don't say, are very much against my associating with Asian men.

Just something to think about here. Said you thought black men have a more difficult time assimulating into a different culture than whites? Hum . . . that's very interesting. Actually, I have always found the reverse to be true. Of all the blacks and whites living in Japan I have met, I have noticed blacks having a far easier time living here than whites. In my experience, there just seemed to be far more complaining about things blacks already were used to in their countries.

I think the problem African Americans experience is a sense of being a bit resistant to assimulation. Some of them figure society has taken so much from them already that they'd be damned if it took away their cultural values, too. I think it is because of slavery that we do have this strong connection to our culture and identity and we are very stubborn to 'assimulate' because in some ways, it is seen as a threat.

To Thaihorse,
I am so glad you want to come to Japan. I definately agree that there are lots of men who come over here for the women--and they end up becoming very disappointed. But you have to be careful, because the shallow attraction can work both ways. There are many Japanese women out there who are very interested in superficial relationships with black men. (There are lots of guys from Africa who pretend to be Black American so they can pick up these women).

Even if you are not coming over to Japan just for the women, I sense that you may still hope to find a soulmate here. My word of advice is to remember the golden rule. Treat other people the exact way you would want to be treated. Even if you are making friends, having a clue about another person's culture and being interested in learning about others is going to make your stay here far more pleasant. I mean, living in America, who would ou get along better with, a person who was interested in the superficial aspects of your culture or the person who wanted to know everything about you?

Oh, and you asked about special activities if you were to meet a nice Japanese woman here? Disneyland and Disney Sea. Definately. (ha, ha ha!) And a place called Odaiba.
Joy    Saturday, June 22, 2002 at 00:31:10 (PDT)

NEWEST COMMENTS | EARLIER COMMENTS