ASIAN FEMALE/ AFRICAN AMERICAN MALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are an Asian female, what most attracts you to African American males?
Their facial features | 45%
Their physique | 12%
Their attitude and personality | 32%
Their education & cultural values | 11%

Assuming you are an Asian female, what most dissuades you from relations with African American males?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 13%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 64%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 23% 		Assuming you are an African American male, what most attracts you to Asian females?
Their facial features | 62%
Their physique | 13%
Their attitude and personality | 15%
Their education & cultural values | 10%

Assuming you are an African American male, what most dissuades you from relations with Asian females?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 6%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 81%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family and friends. | 12%

Big Brother,
I totally agreed with your assessment! I'm an African, born and rasied in the Motherland (Kenya), but have resided here in the US since I was 16 years old. I'm new to this site, but have observed that the main focus by the majority of the black men here "appear" to this reader to be like you also say "obsessed" with gaining the acceptance of others be it here or abroad rather than engaging in a self-realization process that we all as African peoples need so despartely!
I'm surprised to hear Black men here talking about Africans in Japan "allegedly" attempting to pass themselves off as Black Americans, as though they (blacks) are appalled by that misrepresentation?
If that be the case..then so what? My career has taken me to many parts of the globe and I'm here to tell you that I have encountered Black Americans living abroad and that in fact do the exact same thing! Let's cut to the chase here we all know that "many" so-called African Americans still to this very day attempt to deny thier very beings as peoples of African descent, and perpetrate lie upon lie "daily" to flasely market themselves as Indians, Creoles, Puerto Ricans, and peoples from the islands etc. And, heaven forbide if they happen to have long straight hair, have light skin, light eyes such as hazel, grey, or green. I even know Blacks Americans who love thier last names simply because they sound far "more european". I lived in Japan for four years had a great time there, but not because I was an African, but because I worked my butt off, and just happen to be a good human being! And, frankly the last thing that I ever wanted to do was tell people that I wasn't born in Kenya if ever ask and that I wasn't African. Although, I am a bearer of a United States passport, nevertheless I'm still an African. Like Big Brother stated: Be clear of your own identity, values, and virtues and that much coveted "respect" that we all seek and deserve as human beings will be forthcoming!
Peace Be The Journey!
Geoffrey    Thursday, July 04, 2002 at 09:32:12 (PDT)
To my big brother,

I'm not really sure what to say. I agree with you that you have to love and accept yourself before anyone else will and that ultimately it's your own self-perception that determines how you look at yourself in the world. I'm not looking to argue or prove one point of view over another, I'm just telling you where I'm coming from.

I want to know more about how I am viewed by Japanese society because I want to have a better idea of what I will be facing in trying to live there. I know there is a lot of ignorance and prejudice there but I also think a lot of it is simple misunderstanding. I have heard people say that the Japanese are very polite to foreigners (and that this politeness is due to their thinking others are "too dense" to learn and understand their customs and ways.) I also have heard that some Japanese get suspicious of any foreiegner who does get a solid grasp of the language and culture because they are no longer "predictable".

I can't tell you how much shit I've gone through in my life with white people simply because they can't figure out where to put me. I don't act like a regular "soul-brother" and they eventually realize that if given the chance that I could do their job even better than they can. I'm not showing off, I'm just trying to do my best work. The thing I'm trying to learn is how to better adapt to the enviornments I want to function in. In white society we are expected to be inherently inferior and we are punished for it. We are punished even more if we disprove the lie but somehow give them some other opening for taking action.

I admit that I am still looking for myself. I am not looking for acceptance by the Japanese, no more than I expect it from whites, other blacks, or even from my own father.

I know who I am. What I am doing is taking the first steps to finally accepting that person, someone who has many varied interests and who wants to live his life in many different places, interacting in many different societies.

I'm aware of reality, you and the rest of the world will never let me forget it. I still have hope that I can keep my point of view and still have a good life. We may never fully agree on this but I welcome your views and advice just the same.
Thaihorse (little brother)    Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 10:18:15 (PDT)

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