ASIAN FEMALE/ AFRICAN AMERICAN MALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are an Asian female, what most attracts you to African American males?
Their facial features | 45%
Their physique | 12%
Their attitude and personality | 32%
Their education & cultural values | 11%

Assuming you are an Asian female, what most dissuades you from relations with African American males?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 13%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 64%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 23% 		Assuming you are an African American male, what most attracts you to Asian females?
Their facial features | 62%
Their physique | 13%
Their attitude and personality | 15%
Their education & cultural values | 10%

Assuming you are an African American male, what most dissuades you from relations with Asian females?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 6%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 81%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family and friends. | 12%

To All:
Good to hear some good feelings being expressed by black men as it relates to the many issues being discussed. Let's collectivitely continue to move forward with this process, and not just allow it to be just another "fad". We've been there and done that so many times that I've lost count. Keep the flow!
Michael K.    Sunday, July 21, 2002 at 09:15:33 (PDT)
Roger in Miami:
The discussion is Asian WOMEN and Black men. What part don't you understand ???
Oh, I know, here we come with the politically correct horsesheet. Now I'm going to hear about how you have a "right" to equal opportunity. Well, that's not what's it's all about. It's simply about the fact that there are plenty of places and opportunities to discuss your homosexual relationship and I don't recall seeing a poll about who gives a rat's ass about "alternative" lifestyles. Clearly not speaking for anyone but my self, it's the very last thing I participate here to increase my knowledge of and furthermore I resent having to skip over post about homosexuals when clearly the topic is man/women. Now, that being said for you or anyone else who would entertain the thought of enlightening me on homosexual sensitivity and acceptance etc., please don't waste your time. I've heard it all before and I'm not convinced that pro-homosexuals should impose themselves on every discussion. If the subject is man/woman then that's what it is.
In my opinion your lifestyle is an aboration of nature, I do however support your right as a human being to be treated with the same respect and human rights as anyone else. There are plenty of homosexual websites and somehow I doubt that there you will find heterosexuals there proclaiming surprise that "straight" issues are not being discussed.
Thank you very much and have a nice day.
Joe    Friday, July 19, 2002 at 08:00:31 (PDT)
Very interesting about what attracts asian women to black men and vise versa
JD throb4@hotmail.com    Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 21:19:12 (PDT)
To everyone who responded

I think my comments hit a raw nerve with people here and i apologise if i offended people without me knowing. Often a retaliation only makes matters worse but i feel if i dont say something then i will never clear up the matter.

What BM here failed to realise is that like it or not, there is a huge myth associated with the BM and i have not met one white/asian girl who doesnt admit a curiosity for it. I can see how some BM may take an offence to this, but Im sorry : this is the fact of life. Sure, i also get offended when WM or BM have a curiosity about me being Asian because of the Asian female myth, but i have accepted it and learnt to get on with life. After all it could be worse:I could be associated with being bad in bed and at least Im not, because i cant think of anything worse. Bm are aosscitaed with being masculine, and Asian femalesare associated with being feminine and that has to be good.

However, i dont just see BM as associated with sex, if you read my post carefully I said that the reason why I went to USA forthe first time was not for the BM but for the music scene.

I love RnB and hiphop, and in New Xealand it is non-existent. I have always had a deep fascination for AfricanAmerican history and politics, and although i am not an "expert" in everything, i have read Malcolm X, and Martin Luther Kings autobiographies in great depth ( as well as Bernice Kings books). In Philly, I met some African Amercians (Muslims and non Muslims) and chilled with them, I had the opportunity to have great in depth conversations about racism, stereotypes, the quota system of being a minority etc and for me, this was one of the most enriching parts of my life. I had only seen black people in the movies, and not in real life.

My black friends joked about the "I love chocolate" and made comments about my ass ( I have a Latinas behind) and its all good.

I also found that i had a lot in common with black people, because i grew up in a small town and was always teased about the way i looked and never felt like i fitted in. I love America for the fact that there areso many types of people and i never felt like people stared at me. I am looking forward to the opportunity when i can go back

Also, what i didnt want to mention for personal reasons is that my time with this BM was not just sexual, that was one element only. Before our "episode in the car" we had conversations till 3am about life, growing up etc. This is because my BM friend was adopted from White Parents and so was I (in New Zealand). Both of us have white brothers and sisters and so i felt like i have and always will have a lot in common with him. Secondly i recognised he was wearing Puff Dadd (P.Diddy) clothing and from then on we talked about music, and he made me a CD wih Notorious BIG, Tribe Called Quest etc for me to keep. I am still in contact with him by email.

Anyway, I could go on and on but thats the jist of my argument. I am interested in black culture, and what you guys have to offer, just like the Chinese gave us kung fu, Chinese food, JAckie Chan etc. The sexual myth has existed and still will, and maybe thats because there is an "element of truth " in it, maybe it isnt, but from my point of view I thought there was and that is not so bad, when good sex is essential part of relationships.

Ciao.
I love chocolate responds I love chocolate responds    Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 20:55:41 (PDT)
Wow! Just love this exchange of positive ideas here! I don't want to appear to sound negative, but it's rare at best to read such positive exchanges between black men. As an Asian lady who's currently dating a black man we (my boyfriend and I) are always discussing this issue. And it's really a sore spot for him, but when he logged on and viewed your comments it made him feel just great! Many thanks to all!
Tina Chen    Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 09:39:30 (PDT)
Thaihorse:
I just came back from Indonesia,
you should VISIT THERE !!! Forget about what you think you will find in Japan.
TRUST ME ON THIS ONE BUD !!!!!
I've been to several Asian countries and Indonesian women are simply incredible in their pyhsical beauty , their simplicity, their "values" and "personality". Opps, better shut up about Indonesian women before the wife gets wind of this !
p.s. what have I told you about that damn fence !
Peace out for now
Black/Asian couple    Thursday, July 18, 2002 at 09:35:27 (PDT)
It's amazing that this website only discusses heterosexual relations. What's that about? lol

Anyway, I am a black male, and I am currently dating a Fillipino male. It's a long distance relationship, as he's in Texas studying, and I'm in Florida studying, but we are doing fine so far. I love him very much and I believe that our relationship will flourish into something long term. I believe that we have a lot in common, and that's primarily because we are both from so-called "3rd world" countries, and both our cultures have similar foods, music and political histories. As I am Jamaican. So, because of similar political viewpoints, and our love of our mother countries, we have be bonded even closer together. I think that Asians and blacks can have long-lasting and meaningful relationships. Just like any relationship, focus on the aspects that bind, whether it be food, music, literature, political viewpoints, etc. Yes, this might seem utopian and quixotic, but it has worked for me, and I know that two men dating each other might add a dynamic which heterosexual couples don't have to deal with-- as statistics show that gay men of any race tend to be more open-minded than their heterosexual counterparts--but I believe that finding basic commanilities is a great way to build a firm foundation for ANY relationship, interracial or otherwise.
Roger in Miami celestialsoul12@hotmail.com    Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 22:46:32 (PDT)
Thaihorse,
Your post was well received and appreciated, thank you sir! You expressed yourself extremely well and I appreciate your honesty and frankness. Just for the record I'm not about attacking anyone here, that resolves absolutely nothing. I simply was offended and desire to say so. And, like yourself I too believe that this is and should continue to be be an open forum for the expressions for a whole hosts of varied viewpoints/opinions. I think the regular readers of this site(of which I am one) are far too intelligent to allow the established standards to collaspe into a venue resembling that of a pitched battleground. Can't tell you how much that I enjoy visiting this site even though I had never previously commented until very recently. But, I must thank Ray for helping me to emerge from my social psychological cocoon. Coming here does my heart good to read comments submitted by Black Men that are intelligent, well thought out, not just that typical "jargon" that we along with the rest of the world are subjected to daily. My hopes in this process is that we all can as individuals both learn and better appreciate not only the differences, but the similarities that we all as members of the human race share.

Brother to Brother
Raheem    Wednesday, July 17, 2002 at 19:46:35 (PDT)

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