ASIAN FEMALE/ AFRICAN AMERICAN MALE RELATIONSHIPS
(Updated to reflect the 100 most recent valid responses.)

Assuming you are an Asian female, what most attracts you to African American males?
Their facial features | 45%
Their physique | 12%
Their attitude and personality | 32%
Their education & cultural values | 11%

Assuming you are an Asian female, what most dissuades you from relations with African American males?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 13%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 64%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family. | 23% 		Assuming you are an African American male, what most attracts you to Asian females?
Their facial features | 62%
Their physique | 13%
Their attitude and personality | 15%
Their education & cultural values | 10%

Assuming you are an African American male, what most dissuades you from relations with Asian females?
I don't find them physically attractive. | 1%
I don't find their personalities and attitudes appealing. | 6%
I don't think they would find me attractive. | 81%
I'd rather not deal with the disapproval of family and friends. | 12%

From what I see, most of the Asian girls who go out with black guys are truly in love.

On the otherhand, many of the white, Mexican and Persian girls I see with black dudes just want to experiment sexually and satisfy the curiousity.

Any black man who has an Asian girl by his side should feel lucky.
Pinay    Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 22:33:57 (PDT)
I havent posted in a while. Ive been ill. This is a very deep discussion.
In fact I had a similar discussion before on an all black website and BW were saying that BM as a group needed to dig themselves and raise themselves up. Anyone who agreed with that statement got clobbered.
I agreed. And I still do. I think that a lot fo the BMs who are here are those who have a broader social concious and are more upwardly mobile. I applaud all of you.
As for I love chocolates post. I did think the comment of having a latina butt was odd. But otherwise it didnt bother me. Thats because even though there ARE streotypes, the only way to destroy them is to not be them. Now if we ARE better in bed, thats the way it is.
Howerver in living our lives as upstanding men, I think that we can change the paradigm of the stereo type into something much more positive.
Six-Ten Black Male elronin@ameritech.net    Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 18:25:41 (PDT)
In my opinion Asian women born outside the U.S. are more receptive to black men. They are aware of our perception both positive and negative and they would like to explore these perceptions that are created by the media,friends and family for themselves. But as brothers we must remember that we are representitives of our people, our culture and our side of American and African history. One cool brother can go a long way in the life of an Asian woman feeled of misconceptions about us!

We must also remember that an Asian woman has to save face in front of other Asians! I had a case where that happened to me. But when we were in the mall and she saw black and white couples and white and latino couples and even a korean guy with a black girl I sensed her opening up in public a bit more! She is 33 and I am 24 I don't think this is serious just good old fun. I must say if she was korean I don't think our relationship would have worked the woman I am seeing is Dalian, China and she is wonderful.

To Viet Guy:
I have usually seen black men that are with Asian women with either Vietnamese, Japanese, Filipinos and Thai!
In Southern California around inglewood I have seen lots of black and vietnamese couples. I dated a girl that was black and vietnamese. And a friend in college who was black had a vietnamese wife and 4 children and he loved her to death she was beautiful with a great body after 4 kids!
Mr. Holley    Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 15:12:46 (PDT)
<>

In Milpitas, where I stay, there is a healthy mix of Vietnamese and Chinese...(with Black and White sprinkled in)...

My roommates and neighbors are Vietnamese...(my roommates, I kinda consider my "family")...

...and a girl I'm involved with is Vietnamese...
BM from Bay Area, California    Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 14:59:20 (PDT)
Yo Oneinfinite,
What's up with this? I don't know what you intented to say here my brother, but it didn't happen. You in here telling the whole world that all these fine american women, black, asian, white don't take care of themselves, and have digusting eating and living habits, and are morally unsound. Well, that blanket statement covers awhole lot of women out there, including mothers, wives, daughters, lovers, and others. You're way out of bounds on this one man. Your statements are at best totally ignorant and border on the stupid as far as this black man is concerned. You my brother sound like one of those sad cases that you yourself mentioned. Tell me, what makes you so much better than all these women that your trashing in here? And, just for the record my brother "we've all" been programmed...including you and yours (rememebr slavery), so what's your point to all this disrespect? You must be one of those black men that has a nice job, wears a suit and tie to work everyday, and conveniently forgot where he came from. You know some people in this country say that we as a people (blacks) aren't quite ready to accept responsibility for ourselves...naturally I disagree with that, but you my brother sure don't help our cause one bit. Nevertheless, I'll pray for you.

Peace in our time....maybe.
Big AL    Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 14:56:20 (PDT)
Mr. Oneinfinite,
I'm a Japanese lady and I just completed reading your comments posted here. At first I was a little disturbed, maybe even a trifle upset, but then I decided the best course of action when confronted with ignorance is to resort to using one's intelligence, and just move on. Enough said.
Rose    Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 09:54:25 (PDT)
Brother Oneinfinite,
True, this site is an open forum, but to
slam womem here as you did by saying that, "american women in general" be they black, asian, or white fail to take care of themselves, have both disgusting eating habits and living habits, coupled with being morally unsound is without a doubt "totally unacceptable" commentary to level at anyone! I tell you brother (and I use that term loosely) you've crossed the threshold I believe of common decency, courtesy, and respect. I won't even bother to comment on your reference of "monster", that I consider is a "new" high in "low". Frankly, what raddles my cage is if someone else of a different race, ethinic group, or whatever were to make those kind of "vile" remarks about black men then you'd be upset to no end. Maybe you better check out the bible and read that passage that goes, "judge and yea shall be judged not".
Bo Bo    Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 08:45:05 (PDT)
To Onienfinite,
For your information there are a lot of asian females that don't date white men, or for that matter black men. You say, based on your experience that their seems to be very little difference between asian american females, and white americans. Apparently, your experience is severely limited. I'm an asian female and I don't date white men, nor black men, and I don't consider myself an exception to the rule as you so amply point out. I could say something very stupid, yet very similar about "yet meeting a black man that didn't date white women". Does that mean that black men are not as you stated also "socially programmed"? I do believe at least since the last time that I checked that "all races" in this country have largely been to some degree socially programmed to adopt the white cultural value system, to include so-called proper social behavior, and even right up to the white concept of beauty. True, asians have done this, and so have blacks...even more so than we have. You can see that daily with the way black women and men treat their hair as to desire it to be more straight, or how successful blacks look down upon their own people who are not as fortunate as they themselves are. I could go on and on as it relates to races being socially programmed here in america. You say how sad it is that we (asians) look down on black americans...that's not true at all, but what's the difference when a black man becomes successful due to his hard work and moves to an all white community? Is he looking down on his own people? I know black people who have told me that they no longer desired to live in a low income area seeing that they have worked so very hard to escape that very enviroment. That I believe applies to most hard working people regardless of race, they simply want the best for themselves and their families. I am not by any means a prejudice person, but at the top of this post I mentioned that I didn't date either white or black men. But, to be honest if I had to make a choice I'd like "most" probably would date a white man....for several reasons. The image problem for black men is "terrible" to say the least I didn't create this situation, nor contribute to it and perhaps you didn't either. But, many black men in america did and continue as you read this post. Yes, we've heard all the stories placing the blame on hollywood (and I agree) and whatever, but even to this day as I go to the mall I see "most" black men (not all) dressed shamefully with their pants hanging down exposing their buttocks with pride, like they're wantna be stars ready to go on BET. We all have witnessed this, but I have yet to read in this site where an asian female has said anything about "looking down" on black men. Your accusations I believe are unfounded, or better yet just an extentsion of your own insecurities. I do have black friends both female and male and I know that there are good and bad black men in this world just like there are good and bad asian men. You say that Japanese women are the best, well I'm Japanese and I don't have a "special or strong" connection with black men whatsoever! Yes, I'd like to think that I'm a femine lady, but I see many femine ladies everyday black, white, latinas, and others. I don't know what you're talking about here, perhaps you just have your own idea of what feminity is and that's okay, but I can assure you that there are many femine ladies out there of all races and colors. I do agree with you when you make the point about "both cultures being justly or unjustly (treated I guess you you were trying to say) by the white culture, but can you please name me "one" culture in this country that hasn't been subjected to those very same processes of socialization? The answer is "NONE". You make some high level, broad based claims about japanese culture, but I'm sorry to say that you're incorrect in your analysis. I do beleive sir that I'm in a much better position to speak for my culture than are you. Black men and "any" man that has a strong character, a desire to be successful, is willing to work to get there regardless of race in my eyes can be as you say "epitomized. Black men do not have a coner on the market as it relates to this. Again, you're dealing in generalities, and to some degree stereotyping youreslf as a black man. But, remember you're doing it not I! You say that american women (black, asian, white) have disgusting eating habits, and are completely programmed by the american media. If that be the case then so are you! So, please just stand in line and wait your turn. Who died and made you the almighty judge? How dare you come into this site where people are trying to create harmony, promote better understanding, along with a greater sense of real peace and you make such ignorant, disrespectful statements like these? In closing sir I say you "cannot" speak for japanese culture so don't try, just as I cannot
speak for african american culture.
V. Yomuri    Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 17:36:07 (PDT)
Viet guy,
I'm not sure that Vietnamese women date us less than other types of Asians. My last gf was Vietnamese. B4 me her two bf's were white (losers). When we split (cuz she moved away) she said "I'm sick of white guys. Only Black and Asian from now on." While plenty of Vietnamese have the White is Right attitude at least in the Oakland, CA area it wasn't very strong. I was nervous about meeting her family knowing many Asian families don't like Black people but they loved me instantly. Her grandma was constantly talking to me even though I don't speak Vietnamese. Turns out she was telling me about Vietnam and that I should go!
majikal mistermajikal at yahoo.com    Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 14:00:47 (PDT)
Viet-guy
I am BM currently in a relationship with a Vietnamese young lady. Our relationship has been going strong for 5years to date. Were planning to tie the knot as soon as weve travelled some more and toured the certain parts of the globe. Our intentions as soon as we become one is start our family. Currently our careers are quite stable and (of course we both continue to study regardless of how well were doing financially)as well we have both our families approval. Viet-guy trust me were out there. As for your question
(I wonder why there aren't that many Vietnamese AFs that date BM as opposed to other AFs? Anyone have thoughts on this?) I'll be glad to take a stab at it next time but I've got to get back to work. Peace and harmony and mutual respect!
Newcomer from Toronto,Ontario    Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 13:49:05 (PDT)

NEWEST COMMENTS | EARLIER COMMENTS